Kitty: Okay, by now you must have noticed that I HATE SasuXSaku. I hate it so much, that I've decided to write an anti-SasuXSaku fic. I hope all you SasuXSaku haters enjoy this.
Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, Sakura would be with Ino, and not chasing rainbows. (aka: chasing after Sasuke)
One More Thing That Could Have Killed Sasuke
One summer night, Sasuke was sitting on a swing that was tied to a random tree somewhere just outside of Konoha. It was past dark, and Sasuke was having fun sneaking around unseen. --Not that he couldn't conceal himself in the daytime, it's just that it was a lot easier at night because he wore a black shirt.
Seeing as it was a warm summer night, Sasuke had rid himself of his shoes, along with the other pointless accessories. ((snicker 'Accessories!' That's such a feminine word…)) Leaving his armbands, bandage-thingies, and shoes next to the tree, he decided to try to climb the tree. The tree, being very tall, didn't allow him access to the high branches, so he gave up trying to shimmy up the trunk.
He sat back down on the swing and sighed. Then he had another idea: to see how far he could jump from the swing. Pretty soon, the swing was well…swinging…as high as it could go. As the old swing reached its highest point, Sasuke leapt off the swing and landed…in a bush! He climbed out of the bush, a pink stain forming across his face.
He gathered his things from under the large tree and made his way swiftly back into Konoha. As he was heading back home, he decided it would be interesting to look into peoples' windows. ((You know where this is going…)) --Just glancing into them as he passed. He didn't see much at first… Just a family sitting down for dinner, kids his age doing erm… stuff, some guy watching a porno (he had a sneaky suspicion that it was Kakashi). That kind of stuff.
Peeking into the next house almost innocently, he could hear music; Pop, to be exact. Thinking there was a party going on that he wasn't invited to, he sprinted across the lawn and to the front window. He glanced in, and saw no one but Sakura. He could hear his heart start to pound, and he became almost immobilized. Then he let out a blood-curdling scream…
There stood Sakura, as flat-chested as ever and still butt-naked, looking out the window to see who had screamed. This time, a wave of nausea crashed over Sasuke, and he clamped a hand over his mouth so nothing would come out; scream or dinner. Thank god he was wearing a black shirt, or else Sakura might have seen him.
As soon as Sakura had left the window, Sasuke made a mad dash for the street. But his stunned sense of mind caused him to not see, then stumble over things such as lawn flamingoes (which he hadn't noticed on his way there) and other things like that. Not being able to run, he jogged home, and as soon as he reached the stairs of his apartment thing, he plopped down onto one of the bottom ones.
He buried his fingers in his raven tresses, and his face contorted into a sick sort of scowl. He shivered.
"God, I hope all girls aren't like that," he muttered as he compared the size of Sakura's forehead
to her chest. "And she likes me!" he yelled, slamming his fists into the iron stairs. Then he curled back into his fetal position. "Ewwwwww!!!!!!"
::owari::
Kitty: Well… There it is! My first anti-SasuXSaku! I know, I know. I'm gonna get flames from SasuXSaku supporters telling me that 'Sasuke doesn't like Sakura for her body,' but COME ON! You can't really expect an adolescent boy to be interested in anything else, can you?! (Believe me, I know. And finding out wasn't pleasant OR pretty.) So, tell me what you thought of this in a review. If you're gonna flame me, could you at least do it in an email form? Thanks!