Tantalus
chapter 2 :: umbrage

Nara Shikamaru was a genius, no doubt about it. To Ino, he was amazing and wonderful in every way, and he was cute when he was sleeping and being lazy, and everyone was always so amazed when he solved the most difficult of conundrums in the blink of an eye (that Rubik's Cube he finished in 4 seconds still sat on the bookshelf in Iruka-sensei's classroom), and he looked better with his hair down and he only took his hair down for his parents and Ino, and—and—and—

And he was too damn good at keeping secrets.

Or maybe it cost him too much energy to destroy his veil of mystery.

"Shika!!" she whined, clasping her hands together and stomping her feet. "Come on! You know something about Tenten-chan and—and Neji!"

He wilted visibly. "…So?"

"You know something about them I don't!" Ino whined some more.

"…Hasn't it always been like that?"

"SHIKA!" Now she was angry.

"…What?" Obviously, he was expecting a subject change.

Ino decided to use her trump card, the one that worked on even the most stoic and calloused person (aside from Sasuke and Neji, but they didn't count). Her eyes grew round and her lightly glossed lower lip quivered; her hands clasped more tightly together. The Angel Ino face always worked on strangers and her family and Sakura and Chouji, but she hadn't quite tested it on Shikamaru…

One of Shikamaru's eyebrows elevated, and the heavy-lidded eye beneath it widened almost imperceptibly. But Ino took that as a good sign, and inwardly she squealed with glee. It's working!

"Please?"

"…Please…what?"

"Tell me please!" she pressed, leaning towards him—the visage of purity. The blonde hair she had hacked off four years ago had grown to nearly its original length, and some of it spilled over her shoulders.

Shikamaru bit his lip.

Yes! "Pleaaaaaaaaase!" she exclaimed, knowing this was overkill and loving every minute of it.

"Dammit, Ino," he cursed in a strange, tiresome breed of affection. He sighed. "…What is it that you need to know?" he asked flatly, pointedly not looking at her and instead focusing on the cloudless sky. No cloud-watching today, he observed somewhat glumly. Now he had even less of a reason to lie down and be…well…lazy.

She grinned wickedly and then proceeded with her inquiry. "You gave Neji a look. Just what were you thinking, Nara Shikamaru? I know you were thinking something."

He sighed and contemplated massaging his forehead to rid himself of the oncoming headache. Then he decided it was too much trouble. "Neji likes Tenten. Tenten has been infatuated with Neji since she was about six years old. Do the math." Because obviously, Shikamaru wasn't going to do it himself. Shikamaru was Shikamaru.

A pause. Ino made a face. "That's it?"

"What's it?" he asked.

"That's it? I've known that since…forever!" Ino screamed, flinging her hands in the air. "God, Shika! Everyone knows that! That was the most useless thing you've ever deduced! Shika!!"

Oh yeah, that was definitely a headache. Shikamaru winced. "…Neji hasn't."

She stopped in the midst of her tirade. "Neji hasn't what?"

"…Known that since 'forever'."

"…Really?" She was getting that gleam in her eyes. Not just any gleam, the Ino I'm-Up-To-No-Good© gleam. Shikamaru had the sudden urge to run. "Really," she repeated, unclasping her hands and rubbing them together deviously. "Shika!! I have an idea!" Ino shrieked. "I'll tell you about it later. I must go!" And with that, the blonde jounin dashed off at lightning speed.

…

Shikamaru sighed. "How troublesome."

Suddenly, Ino dashed back. "Almost forgot something." With that, she hastily pressed a strawberry-flavored kiss to his lips, and then sped off into the distance. He blinked.

Shikamaru smiled. "How troublesome."

---

There were exactly 140 ceiling tiles.

Gaara of the Desert lay motionless and wide-awake on what was once an immaculate white infirmary bed (which was now an immaculate, spotted red-and-white infirmary bed), pale eyes scrutinizing the smallest and most invisible life forms (or lack of thereof) in the air and on the ceiling and inching nearer to the gourd of sand sitting halfway across the room.

He had been laying quite motionless and quite awake for six hours and 47 minutes now.

The door was closed, but it was locked. It hadn't been locked when the Hokage left, but it was locked now, thanks to his handy dandy sand. He felt like being left the hell alone until he recovered feeling in his hands.

Judging by the state of the bone fragments in his wrists the Hokage had described to him, he suspected it would take a good…oh, two months and a week?

He could wait.

Gaara could sustain himself without food or a restroom for a good amount of time. Sure, maybe he'd feel the silent urge to kill someone during the course of those two months and a week, but he'd be fine. When his hands healed, he could kill anyone he wanted to.

Muffled voices. Gaara's focus shifted to the door.

"What the…hell? It…door…locked."

Gaara was pleased with himself.

Suddenly, the doorknob was violently wrenched in a direction it should not have gone, and there was a loud bang indicated that…

Well, this particular hospital room would need a new doorknob. They'd also need to wedge out the piece of metal, formerly a lock, jammed in the doorframe. Gaara would have been impressed if he wasn't Gaara. Rather than impressed, he was rather displeased at being interrupted whilst he was counting the amount of dust particles in the room…

Actually, maybe a disturbance was good.

In the doorway stood a particularly unthreatening woman about his age with black hair tied up into two buns on top of her head (they looked like meatballs); she was examining the doorknob where she had broken it, obviously sheepish.

Her gaze moved upward slowly to meet his scowl. "Hi," she said flatly, stepping into the room and kicking the door closed behind her. "Gaara of the Desert, I presume?"

He said nothing. Instead, he looked at her as if she was an inferior life form. Which she was.

"I assume I presumed correctly," she said, again flatly. "Well…my name is Tenten. I'm going to be your personal caretaker for a bit, which essentially means that for an extended period of time I am your slave—seeing as how you are a cripple."

Silence. And then, "…Cripple," Gaara echoed with some distaste concerning her wording, moving his eyes back towards the ceiling. She was dragging a chair to his bedside. "Your assistance is unwanted."

"Listen, buddy, I got a job to do and I'm doing it whether you like it or not." And with that, she plopped into aforementioned chair and gave him a hard look. "Don't think I wanna do this, either, but you need my help whether you like it or not."

"My physiology is far more self-sufficient than yours." The corner of Gaara's lip twitched faintly—the only visible sign of his agitation. "…You should leave."

Her eyes shot momentarily towards the gourd lying in the middle of the room. She swallowed, and he knew she was steadying her voice. "Don't even try it. You're in no condition to fight me."

"Am I?"

"You're not," she snapped, patience dwindling. "Now shut up." With that, she sighed and brandished a fresh roll of bandages from her cargo pants, giving the sand demon the once-over before raising an eyebrow. "I don't believe this. You put your bloody and stinky shirt back on after they bandaged you? Idiot."

Inwardly, he rolled his eyes. She talked too much.

She hesitated before placing one hand on his shoulder and hoisting him up about an inch from the bed; she splayed her other palm on his back until he appeared to be sitting up. She grabbed the pillows from the shelf and propped them up behind him, and he winced as an unhealthy crack resonated from his lower back.

"My name's Tenten," she said absently, concentrating on lifting his black shirt over his head. "And…this might hurt a little. But you'll live, Gaara." With that, Tenten's free hand reached over and pulled his arms upward—another crack, and Gaara's eyes squinted in slight pain—before pulling the shirt off.

A pause. Gaara blinked. "It's rude to stare," he told her dispassionately, feeling a pair of eyes analyzing his back whilst he faced the other way.

Tenten scoffed. "Don't be a pervert." Her fingernails slid beneath a bandage and slowly she began to unravel it; slightly clotted slashes crisscrossed his pale skin, and there were at least three very visible indentations Tenten suspected originated from the impact of a fist. She inhaled sharply. "You're really beaten up, you know that?" she asked quietly, tracing a delicate finger on the outer edges of one of his dried injuries.

"Don't do that," Gaara hissed, head spinning around to glare at her.

She withdrew her hand. "Sorry," she said truthfully, discarding a bloody bandage. "I didn't know it still hurts."

"…It doesn't."

Tenten looked up to meet his eyes, but he had already turned away.

She sighed and stuck her hand out at an awkward angle, grabbing a bottle of antibiotic from a shelf. "Who would do this to someone?" she murmured to herself, applying the ointment to some of the fresher cuts. "Do you know who did this to you…?"

"It doesn't matter."

Tenten raised a brow. "It doesn't, huh?"

"No."

"I see how it is," Tenten observed, wiping her hands on her shirt and glancing around, picking up the roll. "Well, you don't need to worry about me interfering with that whole 'I have a stick up my ass so if anyone's gonna get revenge here it's me' thing. I'm just here to make sure you leave Hidden Leaf in one piece."

Silence.

Gaara's torso was fairly bound in thick white strips, and suddenly movement became much more restrained; she clapped her hands together and grinned. "Whoo! That wasn't so hard, was it? All right, can you move your left arm? …No? Alright, fine… God, it's like moving a Barbie doll…"

His head tilted slightly to the side.

"…Not that I've ever played with one. Don't get the wrong idea! Now could you just—damn it! Fine, make me hold it. I know you can at least move your shoulders…" Tenten grumbled, leaning to the side to avoid getting smacked by his limp arm. She sighed and reached for the antibiotic again. "Your arms aren't cut up as badly…but the bones in it are…"

She bit her lip.

Gaara was still silent.

"I'd give you a sling, but it's both of your arms, not just one…" Tenten grit her teeth. "Oh, hell. I'll figure that out later. Now I'll get to work on your…" Pause. "…legs…"

Gaara craned his head around to look at her, expression considerably impassive.

Tenten's eyes were widening gradually but considerably; she looked positively scandalized at the idea of removing his pants.

Rightfully so. Gaara didn't want anyone touching his pants, shorts, or whatever the hell else he would wear on his legs (excluded among which were skirts).

She glanced at him, eyes still rather rounded and horrified-looking. "Well," she ventured timidly, "would you…you know, freak out…or try to kill me…or call it sexual harassment? 'Cause it's not, and I'm just your caretaker or whatever, and, you know…"

He stared.

Tenten grinned, albeit nervously. "…Alright! I'll take that as a 'No, Tenten, I will not accuse you of raping me and I will in fact allow you to help me get better'!" She rubbed her hands together, laughing rather awkwardly. "Alright! Let's, um…get to work, shall we? Heh!"

Gaara stared some more. "Your talking…"

Pause.

"…It's getting on my nerves."

She glared at him.

---

"Hey Neji, you seen Tenten around this afternoon?"

Neji grimaced visibly, colorless eyes narrowing; he shoved his fists further into his pockets and resisted the sudden urge to punch one happy, smiling Uzumaki Naruto very hard in the jaw. Because, no, Neji had not seen Tenten at all—not since they had had lunch at Ichiraku yesterday, and though it had only been a day… Well, Neji was not the waiting kind of person, understandably.

"No," he said shortly, pace quickening. Naruto blinked and jogged to keep up, determined not to break eye contact.

"Really? She was with you most of the day yesterday. You think something happened to her?" Naruto continued, eyes drifting upwards as he imagined whatever brutally horrible fate might have befallen the girl. He cringed, as one particular thought seemed to disturb him. "Hoo boy… Well! Wanna go look for her?"

Neji stopped for a moment and glanced down at Naruto (who was a fairly tall jounin by all respects, and his long, spiked blonde hair just added to his height). Gradually, a corner of his colorless lip upturned into a tight smirk.

"Sure." He began walking again, still smirking. "I know where to start."

Naruto watched his retreating back for a few moments, craning his head slightly around to give Yamanaka Ino—who was idly standing next to a street hot dog vendor—a thumbs up.

Ino grinned.

With that, Naruto scampered ahead, rambling on about his day to a Hyuuga Neji who promptly ignored him.

---

"The last I heard of you, I was told you were freaking out because Sasuke made you bleed," Tenten murmured, having rolled up his pant legs (she would work on the thighs once she got over her initial embarrassment) and set to work. "A little strange how you're handling this so calmly. Well…you're older now, so I guess you have an excuse."

He was staring at the ceiling.

"I missed your fight with Sasuke all those years ago," she informed him helpfully, and he shot her a glance before returning to his staring contest with the ceiling tiles. "I was visiting Neji in the infirmary. You remember Neji?" Tenten pinked slightly as she said the name. "The guy who ranted about destiny and fate and how he was resigned to it…"

Gaara rolled his eyes. He remembered the speech quite vividly, thank you very much. Gaara didn't forget things easily.

His sensitive ears registered the sounds of footsteps, and he looked at her; she was still talking, apparently not having noticed. Gaara sighed inwardly, because admittedly, she was pathetic and yet not enough to sate his bubbling homicidal rages.

He couldn't move his fingers, but that was okay.

Slowly, ominously, the sand in the gourd crept out and into the air, riding on the slow and lifeless wind currents before slowly seeping out the open door. If he was lucky, than the two intruders would be dead and this woman wouldn't suspect a thing until she left. And even then, he reasoned, she couldn't outright accuse him or do anything about it.

This would be a clean job.

The footsteps became louder and faster paced. Gaara frowned slightly; the steps should have stopped by then. If he could move his hands, they—whoever they were—would have been dead at least six seconds ago…at least. He sighed, having no choice but pursuit.

Two figures stood at the doorway, one panting with overexertion and the other unmistakably calm. Gaara looked at them, keeping his sand suspended just outside the doorframe—and out of that woman's line of vision should she take a look.

Uzumaki Naruto stopped panting just in time to scream at the top of his lungs.

Tenten looked up, a blush evident on her face; her eyes narrowed upon settling on Hyuuga Neji. "What the hell are you two—Naruto, stop screaming, god damn it!!"

"BUT HIS PANTS! YOU—AUGH! MY EYES!!! THEY BURN, OH HOW THEY BURN!! WHY ME GOD!? YOU KNOW I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG!!"

Naruto's fingers were tangled in his hair and he was screaming lamentations on how his eyes should have melted our fallen out of his head.

Neji was quiet, though his left eyebrow was twitching visibly and his knuckles had begun to crackle very loudly.

Gaara blinked, momentarily forgetting about the fact his sand was still awaiting his command. Then he looked down.

"…"

"Ah, quit your bitchin'!" Tenten snapped hotly, yanking Gaara's pants back over his waist. "You weren't paying attention, so I thought I'd get it over with! And—and why the hell can't you wear underwear or something! Jeez!" Her face was bright red from embarrassment, and yet also somehow greenish from the prospect of—of looking.

Naruto stopped screaming. "Wow. Gaara of the Desert goes commando." Pause. He then resumed screaming and clawing at his eyes.

Neji's eyebrow was still twitching, and veins began emerging from the sides of his face near his eyes.

Gaara looked at Neji.

Neji glared at Gaara.

Gaara looked at Tenten.

Tenten stared out the window.

Neji looked at Tenten.

Neji looked at Gaara.

Tenten looked at Gaara.

Gaara looked at Tenten.

"I should kill you."

Silence. Naruto stopped screaming, eyes narrowing dangerously at Gaara and fingers itching for the kunai hidden in his jacket. Neji stepped forward, pale eyes glinting with killing intent; more veins jutted out of his skin.

Gaara grinned as his sand swept in between Neji and Naruto, hovering, just waiting for the order. Neji's left foot shifted backwards, ready to sprint him to safety; Naruto's right foot mirrored Neji's movements, a concentrated frown evident on his normally playful expression.

Suddenly, Tenten's hand splayed across Gaara's forehead, fingers threading through his dark hair and palm covering his slightly widened eyes. "I think that's enough for today," she said quietly. "I'll come back tomorrow, same time, okay?"

His sand unceremoniously plopped back into the gourd. Gaara frowned, as did Naruto (though for an entirely different reason).

"You spent the entire day with him," Neji clipped bitterly.

"Not really. It's only half past four," Tenten mumbled, standing and pulling up her sleeve to glance at her watch. "Still have time to hang out, and then dinner." With that, she shot an expectant look at Neji, who didn't quite comprehend; she strode over to him. "See you tomorrow, Gaara. It was nice talking to you. You know, in spite of the fact you didn't respond and you're a deranged sociopath."

Tenten smiled. Gaara stared.

With that, her fingers intertwined loosely with Neji's; the Hyuuga calmed almost instantaneously, and the pair walked out of the infirmary.

"Cute couple," Naruto observed, folding his hands behind his skull. "Kinda weird. She's been into him ever since her first day at the academy. One of the only girls who didn't like Sasuke." He paused in the midst of his reminiscing. "I think she likes you."

Author's Notes: Aww, Gaara didn't kill them. And Tenten saw Gaara half naked. And Neji is not pleased.
Tenten removed his pantalones when he was busy sending his sand after Neji and Naruto, in case you're wondering.