Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. This story was inspired by the song "Ordinary" by Train.
A/N: So this is my first Spider-Man story, and I hope it's good. This fic is set after Peter saves Mary Jane from Dr. Octavius and John has shown up.
Even from where he sat, upon the metal arm of an inactive crane, Peter Parker could see the glint in Mary Jane Watson's eyes as she looked up at him, over her shoulder. She knew now, she understood why he would never be anything but an empty seat and while he had often thought telling someone who he really was would relieve one of the many heavy burdens upon his heart, it only made it worse. Peter wasn't sure what he was expecting once Mary Jane knew the truth, but he was certain this wasn't it. Even though it had been he who had turned her away, it still hurt to see her arm and arm with someone else.
Peter could tell that John Jameson was concerned for Mary Jane and relieved to have her back, safely and in one piece; he could tell by the way that he took her in his arms and kissed her once he knew that she was all right. But Peter wasn't watching Jameson, his eyes were solely focused upon Mary Jane, peering at her through the mask that had ruled his life for the better part of two years now.
And she was watching him too, eyes silently locked on his over the shoulder of her lover, her arms tightly around Jameson's shoulders. The glint that had caught his eyes moments ago was still there, the promise of tears that she would cry for him, a silent plea for him to take back what he said and be with her. Mary Jane was still hoping that they could be together like they had always wanted, ever since Peter had first seen the angel that lived next door.
Peter remained where he was, the chilly New York wind whispering past his hidden face, his eyes fixed upon her face. Mary Jane took a deep breath and he knew that she had realized that they could never be together, that she had missed her chance long ago when he was still just Peter Parker. The glint disappeared from her eyes and she lowered her head, pressing it into Jameson's shoulder, unwilling to lock eyes with him any longer.
A sigh escaped his own lips but Peter couldn't take his eyes away from the beautiful redhead, the woman that had captivated him for most of his life. He always did this, he knew, but he also knew that it was the only way it could be; he always turned her away because he loved her too much to have her, to put her in danger. Peter always made sure that, at the end of the day, the world -or at least New York- was safe once again and he was the only one left behind.
Peter knew he was being left behind now, knew it by the way that Mary Jane wouldn't look over her shoulder again as she and Jameson hurried to one of the police cars that had rushed to the scene. Not for the first time, he wondered if he was doing the right thing by letting her leave, by allowing Mary Jane the safety and stability of someone that didn't take risks everyday, of someone that would never be an empty seat. At that moment, Peter didn't care about the right thing anymore, he wanted her, whether he was Spider-Man or not.
Look at me, Peter willed silently, knowing that unspoken words would never be heard. Turn around and see me, see that I know I've made a mistake. But Mary Jane didn't turn as she allowed Jameson to help her into a patrol car.
Peter knew, however, that she wouldn't be seeing him, whether she turned or not. Mary Jane wouldn't be able to see into his eyes, wouldn't be able to see the sorrow that had taken over; she would only see the blank, ever expressionless face of the person he had created. She would only see Spider-Man and he didn't want her to see that side of him right now, to be proven right, that they could never be together.
Mary Jane belonged with someone like Jameson, that was the person she deserved to be with; the person that could meet her at the door every day when she came home, the person that could go to bed beside her every night and wake up beside her every morning. Jameson was the person that wouldn't miss a single play, that wouldn't ever deliver a late birthday present, that would never leave her alone a single night.
And as badly as Peter wanted to be that person for her, how badly he had always wanted to be that person for her, he knew he could never be. He knew that it wouldn't be he who was left behind at the end of the day anymore, it would be Mary Jane. And he didn't want that for her.
It wasn't easy being the one left behind, Peter knew that, and he would never wish that upon the woman that he loved. He would never want to see that look in her eyes when he showed up late, or didn't show up at all.
Jameson closed the door to the police cruiser and Mary Jane disappeared from view. Even so, Peter didn't take his eyes off the beautiful redhead he knew was inside. Even after the car had pulled away, taking Mary Jane with it, Peter remained where he was, with only the cold wind for company.
Left behind once again.