Sorry for the EXTREMLY long wait, but in addition to a vactation to Florida, I went to a camp for people with my disease a few days after I returned. Thanks to all those who have reviewed and waited patiently!
Enjoy!
CHAPTER 4: WE GOT POTTER, AND TWO YANKS!
The door swung open and a tall (unless you compared her to Hagrid), green robed witch with black hair stood in front of them. Lisa's first thought was that she was very strict, judging by the look on her face. Bart's first thought was to try to determine any weaknesses in her serious gaze to aid his future class-skipping escapades.
"The firs' years, Professor McGonagall." said Hagrid.
"Thank you, Hagrid," said Professor McGonagall, "I will take them from here."
She pulled open the door and led the first years into an entrance hall. It was a large, high hall with a remarkable marble staircase. After a speech about the four houses to which Bart paid no attention and Lisa was too anxious to remember fully. She then exited the chamber after telling them that she would return to them when the Sorting Ceremony was ready.
"How exactly do they sort us into houses?" Harry asked Ron, who was the only one of them that had been brought up as a wizard.
"Some sort of test, I think. Fred said it hurts a lot, but I think he was joking."
Lisa's brain went into overload. A test?!? But she did not know any magic yet! Sure, she had read about spells, but she had never used them. Hermione Granger was a few people to her right in the huddled crowd of eleven-year-olds, and she was whispering about all the spells she had learned. Bart was undoubtedly thinking of someway to cheat on it...
Her thoughts were interrupted as a few people around her screamed. Twenty ghosts had just glided through the back wall! Muttering about someone named "Peeves", the ghost of a fat monk went right through her and a chilling cold dashed down her spine.
"Sorry..." he said, barely noticing her before he did a double take.
"I say," said another ghost in tights with a head that seemed crooked, "what are you all doing here?"
"New students!" the fat Friar said, "About to be Sorted, I suppose?"
Lisa was among one of the very few people who gave nervous nods.
"Hope to see you in Hufflepuff!" the Friar continued, "My old house, you know."
"Move along now," said Professor McGonagall to the ghosts, having returned, "The Sorting Ceremony's about to start."
The ghosts drifted through the doors ahead of them.
"Now form a line and follow me." said Professor McGonagall to the first years.
Professor McGonagall led them to a set of giant doors and into the great hall. It was amazingly large and splendid dining area of grandeur lit by flaming torches on the walls and a thousand floating candles. There were four long tables, covered with empty plates and goblets of gleaming gold, each seating some seventy students at it. Above them was a ceiling that mirrored the dark starry sky, which Lisa and Hermione both knew was "bewitched to look like the night sky" from reading Hogwarts, A History. Down on the other end of the hall, against large windows looking out to shadowy grounds and part of the lake, was another table filled with teachers gazing at the new students. In font of that table was a four-legged stool bearing a patched and frayed, pointed wizard hat.
Everyone stared at the hat for a few seconds, then a rip opened up like a mouth and the hat started to sing:
"Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A smarter hat than me.
You can keep your bowlers black,
Your top hats sleek and tall,
For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat
And I can cap them all.
There's nothing hidden in your head
The Sorting Hat can't see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought to be.
You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart;
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil;
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
If you've a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;
Ravenclaw sounded like the type of intellectual forum Lisa had always dreamed about belonging to since MENSA had disbanded in Springfield.
Or perhaps in Slytherin
You'll make your real friends,
Those cunning folk use any means
To achieve their ends.
Slytherin house seemed pretty good to Bart.
So put me on! Don't be afraid!
And don't get in a flap!
You're in safe hands (though I have none)
For I'm a Thinking Cap!
Everyone broke into applause as the hat bowed.
"So we've just got to try on the hat!" Ron whispered to Harry, Bart, and Lisa. "I'll kill Fred, he was going on about wrestling a troll."
Lisa was relieved at the fact that there wouldn't be a test in front of the whole school, and Bart stopped asking people sitting at the long table for answers to the questions.
Professor McGonagall took a roll of parchment and began calling to students to be sorted, staring with Abbott, Hannah. After the hat had been placed on her, it shouted "HUFFLEPUFF!" and the Hufflepuff table cheered and clapped.
Several Sortings later, Hermione was called. After the hat shouted "GRYFFINDOR!" Ron and Lisa groaned because they had hoping to be in Gryffindor (even despite Lisa's equal urge to be in Ravenclaw).
After more students had tried on the hat, including Malfoy ("SLYTHERIN!" the hat yelled the moment he had put it on), it was Harry's turn. Several people muttered things like, "The Harry Potter?" and all eyes were upon him.
After what seemed like several minutes, the hat shouted "GRYFFINDOR!" at the top of its nonexistent lungs.
Ron's older twin brothers, Fred and George began shouting, "We got Potter! We got Potter!"
There were only five people left to be sorted, the first two them being Bart and Lisa.
"Simpson, Bart!" called Professor McGonagall and Bart made his way to the Sorting Hat, a sickening mix of nerves and wonder churning in his bowels.
A voice in his ear began to speak the moment the large hat went down over his eyes. "So now, young Bart lets see what house you're in..." Bart took a nervous gulp and the hat continued talking. "You've got motives and cunning for Slytherin... ...lazy and the fact that you are an 'underachiever and proud of it' rules you out of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff... ...Yet, believe it or not you have been virtuous on occasion... hmmm... Though you are not exactly of perfect morals, you are far from truly being evil... well then let's see..." Bart's pulse quickened. "GRYFFINDOR!"
Bart joined the table next to a ghost from earlier that was sitting beside Harry to clapping and the shouts of "We've got a Yank! We've got a Yank!" from the Weasley twins.
Now, it was Lisa's turn. Slowly, she walked to the stool after her name was called, full of fear and anticipation. When she put the hat on, she felt embarrassed. She was two years younger than the others were and the hat covered her entire face. She imagined that people must have been laughing now, so small, with the pointy ends of her hair making stalagmite-shaped peaks in the hat.
Then, a voice in her ear began talking. "Ah, let's see... your mind is as bright as a shooting star and as beautiful as a flower... In any house, you could go far, particularly in Ravenclaw... But your courage is mighty for someone so young, so difficult; you are hard to place like your brother... GRYFFINDOR!" it shouted so loud an unexpectantly that Lisa was nearly knocked of the stool.
She took a seat opposite Bart to claps and cheering as the two Weasley twins began franticly whispering to several people around the table.
Ron (whose face was a sickly green by this point) was next to last to be called and strode to the Gryffindor table before collapsing into a chair next to Harry.
After Zabini, Blaise was sorted into Slytherin, McGonagall rolled up the parchment and took the Sorting Hat away.
"Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!" cried Dumbledore, the Headmaster which Percy (Ron's other brother at Hogwarts who was older that the twins) had told them about. "...Mad?" said Percy. "He's a genius! Best wizard in the world! But he is a bit mad, yes. Potatoes Harry?"
The four looked down and to their surprise, saw that their plates had been filled with food. Bart's mouth watered and Lisa let out a sound whose English equivalent is 'transcendent' ('groin-grabbingly-transcendent' if you ask Homer) as they gazed upon so many delicious dishes: roast beef, roast chicken, pork chops (w/ apple sauce) and lamb chops, sausages, bacon and steak; boiled, roast, and mashed potatoes, fries, Yorkshire pudding, peas, carrots, gravy, ketchup, peppermint humbugs, and to Lisa's delight, tofu.
As everyone began helping themselves to the delectable food, the ghost sitting between Harry and Bart sadly said, "That does look good..."
"Can't you—?" started Lisa.
"I haven't eaten for nearly four hundred years," he said, "I don't need to, of course, but one does miss it. I don't think I've introduced myself? Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington at your service. Resident ghost of Gryffindor Tower."
"I know who you are!" said Ron. "My brothers told me you're Nearly Headless Nick!"
"I would prefer Sir Nicholas—" he began, but Lisa interrupted.
"Nearly Headless? How can you be nearly headless?"
"Like this," he said irritably as he grabbed hold of the top of his crooked head and it tilted sideways, held on by a ghostly strip of flesh, revealing a nauseating cross section of his throat. Bart smiled menacingly, thinking of the possibilities.
They talked about their backgrounds over dinner and Lisa was relieved to see that she wasn't the only Muggle-born with no prior knowledge of magic.
As the feast drew to a close, Dumbledore addressed the school again, "Ahem—just a few more words now that we are all fed and watered. I have a few start-of-term notices to give.
"First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And a few of our older students would do well to remember that as well."
He suspiciously eyed the Weasley twins.
"I have also been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all that no magic is to be used between classes in the corridors.
"Quidditch trials will be held in the second week of the term. Anyone interested in playing for their house teams should contact Madam Hooch.
"And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to anyone who does not wish to die a very painful death."
A few people nervously laughed, and Bart's eyes widened.
After the school had discoordinately sung the school song, they all retreated up to the common rooms, as Fred and George led half the Gryffindors in shouting, "We got Potter, and two Yanks! We got Potter, and two Yanks!"
The journey up to Gryffindor Tower was eventful, to the least, the portraits and pictures seemed to be alive, the suits of armor and the staircases moved, and they ran into Peeves, who Bart found very interesting.
At last, they reached a large portrait of a fat woman in a pink silk dress.
"Caput Draconis," said Percy, and the portrait swung open to reveal a narrow passageway. On the other side was the Gryffindor common room, a warm, comforting, round room fully of squashy armchairs and a large fireplace.
Percy led them to their dormitories, were Bart found a circular room with six four-poster beds hung with deep scarlet curtains. Bart, Harry, Ron, Neville, Dean, and Seamus went strait to sleep, half of them not even bothering to change out of their clothes.
Well, there you go, chapter 4. I had to use alot of exact quotes due to the circumstances, but I was able to tweak things around a bit. "groin-grabingly-transedant" comes from the episode when Homer was a food critic.
Expect the next chapter in about a week, I have time because due to renovations, our school isn't starting until September 20! If it's not here in a week, I'll probably post when it'll be done at the top of my homepage.
Thanks for reading and please review!