Bubble Crash!
By: AngelofSoul

S'up people? New idea just swarmed in my head the other night and I had to write it down before I lost it. Yeah, the title's kinda... stupid, but I'm chewing gum- it popped right in my face too. :) Heh, I'm probably the only one who finds it funny. Oh well.

But gum has nothing to with it.

Here's the summary:

Lily and James are needed for something for the Order, and they have no one to baby-sit little Harry! So whom does Lily suggest? (Much to James's horror) an old greasy friend. :) A classic baby Harry fic, enjoy. :)

Rating: PG-13, Snape swears a lot. Baby antics, as the tiny Potter seems to get in a lot of trouble. :) Mentions of slash on behalf of Remus/Sirius, nothing heavy. Aside from the word "shag" here and there. :) Y'know, I find that word to be most interesting. Heeheeheehee... shag.... Shag.... Shagshagshagshagshagshagshag! Shaggity shag shag! ... O.o ... :)

Disclaimer: I. OWN. NOTHING. ... :(

Dedicated to: People who have to deal with their/other people's children; daycare employees, teenage baby-sitters, aunts watching nieces and nephews, uncles watching nieces and nephews, grandparents watching grandchildren, newly weds and their first baby/babies, same sex couples who've adopted their first child, and especially Michael and Jason; for they have adopted their first child. Much love and hope to them and their adorable precious gift from above. :)

And now, chapter 1. :)

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Chapter 1:
Scary Lady!

"What about Arabella- you know, Dumbledore's old friend?"

"She has cats, James. Cats don't really get along with small children."

"How about Dumbledore?"

"He'll be at the meeting."

"Erm- Peter?"

"...Don't be rediculous, James."

"Oh c'mon Lils! We can't leave Harry with him-!"

"Oh stop it, James. He's really nice."

"Nice? You think he's nice?! Lily-"

"Maybe if you tried to get to know him like I did you'd find that he's a very pleasant person."

"Me? Associate with people like him?! Ludicrous!"

"James you're over reacting and being very immature. We're adults now, not in school anymore. Now can you just put your grudges behind you?"

"Well- how about Sirius?"

Lily stopped and glared at her husband with emerald green agitation, adjusting her hold on her small child wrapped in bundles of blankets, she blew a strand of long red hair from her face and said, "James, he's on vacation with Remus in Japan."

"Yeah!" James grinned hopefully running a hand through his jet-black messy hair. "They're staying in the same hotel we were in when we visited. I could always apparate-"

"Oh that would just be dandy!" Lily said sarcastically. "I can just see it now: 'Oh sorry to interrupt your shag, but can you watch Harry for us? It'll only be for a few hours.'"

"Yeah!" James grinned.

Lily thwapped him on the forehead, "James!"

"Ow, hey!" he quickly caught his glasses before they fell on the grass covered ground.

Lily just shook her head, continuing to walk forward towards Hogwarts large double-door entrance. James slipped his glasses back on and jogged to catch up.

"Lily-"

"Drop it James." Lily growled, eyes flashing dangerously.

James shut up immediately.

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For Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, it was the middle of another school year. Students were up and about the halls, running to classes and narrowly escaping Filch because they were late. Teachers were teaching, of course, or when they had certain periods off they granted F's. Plenty of horrible, largely marked zeroes that covered the parchment in a startling red.

This is what Severus Snape was doing. He sat in the teacher's lounge looking over incredibly long potion essays (two rolls of parchment), a quill behind his ear, and a large stamp with a deep scarlet red dripping ink in one hand. He stamped one particularly informative essay harshly, the ink splattering everywhere except his robes. He tossed it into a large pile on the left of his chair (all marked zero and Gryffindor ((go figure)). Occasionally, Severus removed the quill from his ear and wrote a loopy one hundred in the corner on certain papers (all marked Slytherin, of course) in pretty blue ink. It was almost affectionate.

How sickening.

He was interrupted, however, by a knock on the door and the sounds of bickering. Severus scowled, he didn't like being interrupted when he was grading (or rather picking favorites). For the hell of it, he waited a few moments, taking his jolly sweet time to answer the door.

Another knock, a quick one- a knock that clearly said "no one's there, let's go". Then there was a loud "THWAP" and an "OW!", bickering, then silence.

Another smart knock, and Severus decided, finally, to move his bum. Getting up heavily and letting the rest of the papers drop to the floor (Ravenclaw's) he pulled the wooden door open to see the smiling face of-

"Lily?" Severus blinked, a little surprised. He hadn't seen Lily since their seventh and final year at Hogwarts!

"Severus, it's good to see you!" she was as enthusiastic as usual. Her cheery smile always managed to make him blush a considerable red. Well that's the school boy crush for ya.

"Hullo, Snape." Came the agitated voice of her husband, James, who put an arm around his wife's waist.

"Potter," Severus nodded with an expression of loathing, silently hoping that the red in his cheeks had vanished.

There was a tense silence, as both long time enemies glared at each other. It was almost like a Western Standoff, just without guns. But Lily swore she saw a tumble weed pass by.

Lily sighed, "James..." She said warningly.

"Yeah, yeah..." but James continued to glare daggers at the Head of Slytherin House.

Severus tore his eyes off the former formidable Gryffindor, and looked at Lily, clearing his throat. "Would you like to come inside?"

"I'm afraid we can't, Severus. We're in a bit of a hurry." Lily smiled again, and Snape did his best not to blush. "We-"

"Don't you mean you?" James muttered and Lily elbowed him in the ribs, making him wince (Severus tried not to smirk).

"We," She continued with a quick glare at her husband. "were wondering if you could do us a little favor?"

"Of course," he was saying this mostly (okay, maybe entirely) to Lily. He wouldn't be caught dead doing anything for James Potter. "Anything." He added smirking at James jealous face when Lily smiled like her birthday had come early.

"Oh wonderful!" Lily said her eyes shining. It took a moment to register the fact she was carrying a bundle of blankets, which she hastily held out to Snape. He took it automatically, and unthinkingly.

"Er-"

"You're a life saver!" She was saying while piling a very long roll of parchment and stuffing it under his free arm. "There's a list of numbers of all my family members, some of James's who know how to use a phone- you know how to use a phone don't you? Of course you do, you took Muggle Studies with me!- Duh, how silly. Anyway, he likes pudding, but not chocolate, it makes him hyper- his juice should be room temperature- keep him away from cats, he never gets along with them, and-"

James was snickering at the bewildered look on Snape's face. He did his best not burst out laughing when Lily put the diaper bag around his neck and continued to rant on and on about "nurturing" her precious gift from above.

"-he eats only on these certain times, I made a whole list- NO CANDY aside from the pudding I put in the bag, make sure he naps or he'll be a cranky little thing. Careful now, he's teething. Just got his first tooth- poor wittle angel!-"she cooed. "-if you have any problems just owl Dumbledore's office, we're meeting in there."

Lily shouldered her purse and stepped back, smiling at Snape who had several diaper bags hanging from his neck, piles of instructional books and papers tucked under his arm, and the bundle of blankets in the other.

Severus wondered whether to toss the thing like a football and run in terror, screaming like a little girl. But he didn't.

James couldn't take it anymore, he was on the floor laughing like a maniac. Lily didn't bother to glare at him this time, just gave him a sharp kick in the shins ("OW!").

"Now," she smiled warmly. "any questions?"

"Er..." Severus blinked. "What am I doing... for you... exactly?"

"Oh, of course!" She said with a wave of her hand. "You're baby-sitting little Harry for us!"

"Harry?"

"My son, silly." Lily said helping her husband off the floor (he's still laughing). "It'll only be for a few ours and his normal sitter is out sick- his godfather's on vacation, of course." She sighed. "And on the worst possible time, too."

Severus was about to protest, and Lily sensed this, so she said quickly. "You're the only option we have left, and we can't take him to the meeting- we hear some horrible things up there, and I want to set a good example for my baby." She pouted like a puppy. "Please Severus? It'll only be for a few hours..."

Snape quavered and fell under the spell of the puppy pout, especially Lily's puppy pout. Suppressing a groan, he agreed, with a painful nod of his head.

Lily suppressed the urge to do a happy "jiggle-wiggle" and dragged James away yelling over her shoulder, "We'll be back around seven! Thank you Sevvy!"

Severus winced. Sevvy. She hadn't used that nickname since Hogwarts years.

God did he hate that pet name.

Somehow managing not to drop anything Lily had piled onto him, Snape reentered the teacher's lounge and slammed the door shut with his foot. He dropped the bags, books, and papers on the table and wondered what to do with the bundle of blankets that contained the tiny Potter child.

He considered tossing it in the fireplace, but decided against that. Lily would want the baby back. Damn.

So instead he put the pile on one of the squishy armchairs by the fireplace.

Severus then returned to "grading" papers ("F! F!!! ... F ... 100?! WHAT THE HELL?!") only to hear something squirm. The movement of material, blankets... the blankets.

Snape twitched, dropping the Ravenclaw potion essays once more to inspect the bundle he had placed down earlier. He hesitated to touch it, so he pulled out his wand and carefully moved the blankets aside. Inside was a horror to any Slytherin.

It was a miniature replica of James Potter himself.

Severus suppressed a girly scream- erm- manly war cry as the tiny "clone" sat up rubbing large emerald green eyes and yawning like a kitten.

"Mommy?" The little creature said looking around with glasses that were far too big for him. He looked up to see the paled (well, paler than usual, anyway) Snape. "You're not my Mommy... you're a scary lady!!!"

Severus tested the anime fall. "OW!"

To his surprise, the tot giggled. "A scary funny lady! Do it again! Do it again!"

The Head of Slytherin groaned. This was going to be a long few hours...

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Yay Chapter 1! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!! :) Uh... heeheehee... Um... I just made a cute fic, didn't I? O.o God the world's done for...

Please review?

AngelofSoul