Mr. Moony--

Love does some pretty funny things to people. They do things without any common sense whatsoever. For example, in the children's tale of Rapunzel, the wife desires lettuce (which also shows the funny things pregnancy does to women). So the husband, instead of going to the market to buy some, decides to steal it from his neighbor's backyard, who was never known to be kind in the first place. Then, instead of digging up a whole plant and putting it in his own garden, he just grabs some leaves.

Then comes the search for the most beautiful person in the world. Lily is Helen to James' Paris. But then Dad thinks Mum is the most beautiful woman in the world, Lucius Malfoy thinks Narcissa is the most beautiful, and Peter currently thinks one of the Ravenclaws a year below is the most beautiful girl in existence.

Everybody has eyes made of some sort of precious stone. Lily's are emeralds, Remus' are ambers, and mine are sapphires. Everybody's name is as sweet as wine on their lover's lips, and everybody falls into their lover's tender gaze.

Everybody except me, at least. That is because I have avoided love. If there is one thing all of my cousins' romance novels have taught me, is what it feels like to be in love. And now I can prove that I am not in love. Because if somebody I care about wants lettuce, I'll go out to the store and buy some, instead of climbing into the lair of an evil witch and stealing it, where it's obvious I will be caught. I have never felt dizzy when looking into somebody's eyes, and no, nobody's name is as sweet as wine on my lips. I have never shivered under anybody's gaze, none of whom have eyes made out of rocks.

So yes, I can successfully say, that I have hidden from Love.

--Mr. Padfoot

"Mr. Padfoot?"

Sirius looked up at Remus' voice, mocking his nickname in the dry tone that often revealed that he was amused by his friends' actions.

"Yes, Mr. Moony?" he said, smiling.

"You know how I have double Defense Against the Dark Arts before lunch, unlike you, who has Defense Against the Dark Arts then Potions?" Remus asked sitting down.

"Yes?"

"And you know how you decided to write this note completely randomly?" Remus held up a piece of paper.

"It was only random because I had nothing better to do, and yes."

"A few comments on it," Remus said, shaking the note open. "First of all, pregnancy is getting off topic. If you wanted to go into women's strange tendencies during pregnancy, you should have started a new paragraph."

Sirius smiled. It was just like his friend to go off about grammar, in a very –well, actually only a little—serious letter.

"A few factual errors too. The husband in Rapunzel was too poor to buy the lettuce. Although I agree, it was rather silly of him. I suppose I can agree with the 'Search for the most beautiful women'," Remus said looking thoughtful. "Also, amber isn't always considered a stone. Some scientists believe otherwise, but I'll let that slide."

Sirius nodded. Remus was avoiding the actual subject matter, but Sirius wasn't too concerned. He knew that Remus hadn't missed it altogether, because he knew that Remus wasn't daft, by any means.

"Now, I've never really considered wine sweet myself. Rather more tart actually," Remus had acquired a thoughtful look, which was really quite cute. Of course Remus would kill Sirius for thinking that, but it was cute, nonetheless. "Although, I must admit, wine, and champagne are much better than beer. I favor chardonnay, myself, though."

"Remus!" Sirius said, loudly. "You yell at me for going off on tangents, then you do it yourself! You drive me crazy!"

"Hold that thought," Remus said. "I'll come back to that."

"What?!"

"Now, if somebody is shivering or feeling dizzy, I suggest they see a healer, rather than blaming it on their crush. It's rather irresponsible. If they feel like they're falling into somebody's gaze, again, I feel they should see a healer. They are obviously very sick. And lastly, no, romance novels don't tell what it's like to be in love. More than likely, the author is wishing they were in love, and are imagining what it would be like to have something more than a one-night stand."

Sirius stared at Remus. He couldn't believe that soft-spoken, gentlemanly Remus criticizing other people for what they were saying. What made it even richer was that Remus had never even had a girlfriend, let alone been in love.

"Now," Remus continued, "As for your avoiding love. How can you know, if all you've ever had for reference is crappy romance novels. Maybe you are in love with somebody, and just haven't realized it yet."

Sirius certainly hadn't thought of that. Crappy romance novels were, after all, crappy. That meant they were off.

"I'll leave you with that thought," Remus said, standing up and leaving.

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Notes: Well, should I continue? Is this turning into another one of my crappy Sirius/Remus ideas? Should it be one of my crappy Sirius/Remus ideas (minus that crappy part)? Review and tell me!

Disclaimer: Last Christmas I asked Santa for the copyright to Harry Potter. Apparently he is still attempting to procure it for me, so this still has to be one fanfiction.net.