Story Title: I Never Wanted To Be

Author: J.E.A.R.K.Potter (Jackie)

Rating: R

Disclaimer: This is an AU fic. Hermione's father died when she was 3

years old, and since then, she's never trusted any other man with her

heart, until he came into her life. R/R

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Chapter 1

"Hermione?" Harry asked.

She turned around, seeming as if nothing had ever happened to her. She

couldn't stand the thought of loving after anything. Even now that she

was twenty years older than she had been when she had given up hope of

trusting another man with her heart. How could she tell him that she

didn't know who the father of her baby was, because of her job? He'd ask

about it, and she knew that she couldn't tell him a lie. Sure, she'd

gotten away with always saying things like, "I have an appointment,"

when she had to go out and meet someone, and he'd believe her, or she

could say that she had to go into work for a check-up when really her

boss, Aimee, needed to schedule her for someone...

"Earth to Hermione, can you hear me?" Harry asked again, waving a hand

in front of her face.

"Huh?" Hermione asked, snapping out of her little trance.

"Is something wrong? You don't seem like yourself," he said, and sat

down by her, hugging her close to him and kissing her forehead.

She knew the minute that he sat down that she would blab everything to

him... Everything right down to all of her thoughts that she'd thought

since she was seven years old...

"Oh, Harry!! It's just not fair!! I never wanted to get into being a

whore, but it just... It just happened!! When we were together,

together, you know, I always was playing with your heart. I just... I

couldn't get close to you like I had my father. I couldn't get close to

anyone at all. I am so afraid that something will happen, and I'll be

left to feel alone, and this space in my heart... It's already empty,

like yours is. But I'm not as strong as you. I'm nothing like that. Then

when we played truth or dare back in school, and we all had to do shit

with others... Neville told me what people said about me. How could a

little bookworm be so good at giving head? How could a smarty-pants be

such a greater kisser? Things like that, you know. It doesn't help much

when you already felt like when you wanted children, you never wanted

them to know who their father was so they wouldn't have to feel the pain

of finding him or anything... Then, I thought, why not? Why not play

with others hearts, get pleasure out of it myself if I just... Just made

myself thing differently, get paid, never let my kids find their own

fathers dead in the bathroom floor, and never having to suffer loving

another man all in the same thing? So, I did it, right before

graduation. I went off to this woman named Aimee Taylor. She runs

'Ladies 'N Sex'. And now, I just...."

"Whoa, what?" Harry looked really lost. "All I got out of that was

great kisser, good at giving head, Ladies 'N Sex, whore, kid, and you?"

Hermione nodded. "Harry, I'm pregnant. I just... It doesn't feel

right, not knowing that I have no clue who the father is at all..."

"Wait, in all that big long talk you just gave, you told me you were

a... a..."

Hermione nodded. "A whore. Let me guess, wanna hear the whole story?"

"Yeah, do fill me in," Harry said.

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(Author's Note)

This is just kinda the beginning to all of it... In a way, giving you

a guide line, and myself... All the rest of this is going to be in

Hermione's POV, except when the end comes, and then it probably won't be.

Tell me what you think of it!! R/R!! J

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