"Rules of Engagement" (if I could write 5.1 for Gilmore Girls)

Author's Note: The characters, quoted dialogue, locations, etc. are the creation/property of Amy Sherman-Palladino et al, as well as the property of the WB...the following work is my homage to the brilliance of the former and the faith of the latter in the former (I've always wanted to write that...). Major props to Chiaroscuro and carrielynn for their beta reading skillz – thank you so much for your sharp eyes and encouragement!

Previously, on Gilmore Girls...

STARS HOLLOW TOWN SQUARE
Rory watches as Dean and Lindsay get married.

Cut to:

A CAFÉ IN HARTFORD
JASON: My job is who I am. I can't lose everything. You have to understand why I'm doing this.

LORELAI: I do understand. But I can't be with someone who's suing my family.

JASON: Lorelai.

[Lorelai gives him a look, takes her purse and leaves.]

Cut to:

STARS HOLLOW TOWN SQUARE
Luke and Lorelai dance at Liz and T.J.'s wedding reception

Cut to:

IN FRONT OF LORELAI'S HOUSE
LUKE: How about next week? Sunday?

LORELAI: Sunday?

LUKE: Sunday – you free?

LORELAI: I-I think so.

LUKE: Okay, good. Good.

LORELAI: Good. Good. [jump cut to Lorelai staring as Luke walks away]

Cut to:

OUTSIDE LUKE'S DINER
LORELAI: I think I'm dating Luke.

RORY: What?

Cut to:

LOBBY OF THE DRAGONFLY INN
JASON: I stayed away, I gave you space.

LORELAI: You gave me space? We broke up.

JASON: I didn't look at it that way. I looked at it as a cooling off period.

LORELAI: Oh, how very revisionist of you.

Cut to:

LOBBY OF THE DRAGONFLY INN
LORELAI: Why would you want to get away from each other, Mom? Are you and Dad fighting?

EMILY: Stop it. You know! You know your father and I are separated, and you brought us out here and stuck us in the woods to stare at each other for 48 hours!

LORELAI: What was I supposed to do? You weren't saying anything, Dad wasn't saying anything.

Cut to:

PORCH OF THE DRAGONFLY INN
LUKE: And then when I walked you home after the wedding, there was a moment. I thought there was a moment...

LORELAI: There was! There was a moment. [silence as Luke gazes at her and approaches her] What are you doing?

LUKE: Will you just stand still?

[They kiss...then cut to Kirk screaming and running in between them.]

Cut to:

RORY'S BEDROOM
Rory and Dean kiss and fall onto the bed.

Cut to:

GILMORE KITCHEN
RORY: He's Dean. My Dean.

LORELAI: He's not your Dean, he's Lindsay's Dean. You're the other woman...

Cut to:

OUTSIDE THE GILMORE HOUSE
[Rory makes a call on her cell phone.]

LINDSAY: [on the phone] Hello? Hello? Hel-lo-o?

[Rory hangs up the phone and breaks down in tears.]

Teaser

LINDSAY AND DEAN FORESTER'S LIVING ROOM APARTMENT

LINDSAY: Hello? Hello? Hel-lo-o? [the line goes dead, and she looks at the caller ID as she beeps it off]

The camera pans to a close-up of the phone display, which reads, "Rory"

DEAN walks into the apartment, avoiding eye contact with Lindsay, as he passes her into the kitchen.

LINDSAY: Hello, Dean. [there is a distinct coldness in her voice] You forgot your cell phone. [she holds it out to him] And you just missed a call.

DEAN: Oh, thanks. I was wondering where I put this. [He looks at the phone display, and his facial expression changes to a mixture of shock and guilt]

LINDSAY: I tried calling you, and instead I find your cell phone here under the couch cushions. You never leave your cell phone behind. Where were you?

DEAN: Tom needed me to do more last-minute installations at the Dragonfly. Didn't I already explain that I'm trying to do as much overtime as I can so we can move out of here faster?

LINDSAY: I called the Dragonfly. Michel told me that you left there a few hours ago. [her voice trembles a little here] Just please stop lying to me. Stop treating me like an idiot. I know what's going on.

Dean is speechless. He runs his fingers through his hair in frustration, and sighs deeply.

DEAN: Sit down, Lindsay... [he reaches out to her, but she recoils in anger]

LINDSAY: I don't want to sit down! Just – just tell me that you didn't just see Rory Gilmore tonight. Tell me that you listened to me when I asked you never to see her again. Tell me I'm seeing things when I see that she's still programmed on your cell phone!

DEAN: I – I can't. Lindsay, please sit down.

LINDSAY: Why? Are you afraid I'm going to fall over? What can you possibly have to say that...oh my God. [she sits down, and Dean sits with her]

DEAN: I did see Rory tonight.

LINDSAY: I knew it. And how many times did you see her? How long – how long have you been sleeping with her?

DEAN: We haven't been...

LINDSAY: Don't lie! I feel like you've been avoiding me these past few weeks, ever since we fought about ...about Rory.

DEAN: ...it was just once.

LINDSAY: [a pause] "Just once"? [her voice breaks as her eyes fill with tears as she stares at Dean in disbelief] Is that supposed to make me feel better? What happened to us? I thought you loved me...

DEAN: I did...I just...

LINDSAY: ...and I thought you were over her. God, Dean, I defended you to my mom! She kept asking me whether you were over Rory way back when we were dating. And I told her that Rory had hurt you so much that there was no way you still had feelings for her. That's what you told me, wasn't it?

DEAN: [heavy sigh] I was wrong, okay, Lindsay. We messed up, we shouldn't have gotten married...

LINDSAY: Excuse me, but did you say "we messed up"? You're the one who cheated. And now you're telling me that we shouldn't have gotten married? So why did you marry me? Because you couldn't be with her, you couldn't marry her?

Dean says nothing. Lindsay gets up, glaring down at him.

LINDSAY: Oh my God, Dean. I can't wait until you wake up and realize just how much you messed up. [she runs out of the living room crying]

The camera stays on Dean, who is looking in Lindsay's direction, his facial expression conveying both a desire to run after her and relief that she has left the room, and the camera then pans to Dean and Lindsay's wedding photo before fading to black.