Disclaimer: None of this whatsoever belongs to me (though it would be nice)-

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 The Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare

                        An Interview of Hermione Granger

  By: Rita Skeeter

        Question: Why Spew?

Answer: It's not "Spew," it's the Society of the Promoti.

Rita: Oh well, just answer the question.

Answer: I have decided to spread the awareness of elf rights with this section in the Daily Prophet.  As you all may have noticed, elves have been our slaves for ages, and it seems as though nobody wants to take a stand and say, "Hey, this isn't fair!"  Nobody ever bothered to help the elves, and nobody ever bothered to even let some ideas slip into the public. 

Question: Why should we help the elves?

Answer: It's only right.  I mean, if you had to, you wouldn't like to cook, clean, and be ignored all day, would you?  There's an elf I saw that's whole family had their heads cut off when they got too old, and then they were hung on plaques on the wall.  He was even forced into thing that it was an honor!

Question: Do the elves want to have rights?

Answer: Well, I know another elf that likes to be paid, and likes to wear clothes.  His name is Dobby, and he wore about eight hats at a time when he first got freed, and he still does.  I bet that all of the other elves want to have these rights, too, but they're too afraid to speak their mind.  And that reminds me, house elves are forced into punishing themselves by horrendous means whenever they disobey even a small order.  I once saw Dobby punishing himself by banging his head against the wall, just because he said something wrong by accident.  House elves can have feelings, too.

Question: So, do you think that Spew, I mean S.P.E.W.  will be a success?

Answer: Of course it will be.    

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I hope you liked it. Should I do other interviews also? please review!

Thanx! -