Leave a message at the beep....ff7 style By Scitzo and Psyco

Disclaimer: Scitzo- I don't own anything FF7 (falls on knees and prays for evil ninja lawyers to go away.)

Sephiroth

You have reached the ultimate godliness that is Sephiroth. If I have not killed you yet leave a message and I will do so shortly. (BEEP)

5 new Messages

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Yah I'd like a large pepperoni pizza with extra cheese. This is the number for Dominos right? You guys should think about changing your greeting. It could scare off your customers.

Vincent

You have reached Vincent's coffin. I am sleeping at the moment call back in 30 years. (BEEP)

1 new message

Okay this time I know I have reached Dominos. I'm not waiting 30 years for my pizza. You guys can't be that busy.

Cloud

Hello! Hello! Is this thing on? You have reached Cloud. I am mourning the loss of my beloved Aeris. If you are Aeris leave a message if not don't bother.

1 new message

(Sephiroth in high girly voice) Cloud its Aeris. It is cold at the bottom of this lake and.....

- Cloud picks up phone-

Hello Aeris I'm sorry it's cold-

(Sephiroth in normal voice) Hah hah hah

you fool!

that is the 10th time this week you fell for my message.

HAH HAH HAH.

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Rufus

You have reached the office of Rufus. I'm off on "official" business. Leave me a message and it will go through 20 people before it gets to me.

(BEEP)

2 new messages

This is Fat Boy's Chocolate Company I'm calling to confirm an order for 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 chocolate bars for a Rufus Shinra.

Rufus this is your mother speaking. Now I know that your teenage hormones are "acting" up. All those years of finishing school gone to waste. All the lectures and health classes should have done something. But I hold in my hand a list of the women you've "spent" quality time with...

Samantha

Hollie

Amy

Heather

Aimee

Jamie

Ami

Kayln

Brittney

Paige

Brittany

Holly

Brittney

Jessica

Britnee

Yuffie

Vanessa

Brenda

Amanda

Brianna

Your aunt Sheryl

Your cousin Alice

Your sister Beth

Her sister Annie

Rachel

Tiffany

Elena

Jennifer

Scarlet

Mary

Emily

Kim

Sarah

Kathy

Sara

Kjar

Shari

Kris

Tifa

Kaimi

Your other aunt Melissa

And your Grandmother

You ungrateful, selfish little son of a.... (Answering machine runs out of tape)

Barret

You have reached Barret Wallace. If you're an Avalanche member leave a message. If your Shinra #%& yourself and go to hell.

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Hojo

You have reached the laboratory of the all mighty Hojo. If you would like to be a test specimen leave a message at the beep. (BEEP)

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Look all I want is my pizza

A/N: Review I beg of thee.