Crash and Burn

Summary: Post The Indicator. SV

Rating: PG-13

AN: This would be one of those random ideas that hit you sometimes.

There are some moments in life you just aren't prepared for. When I was eight years old, I wasn't prepared for the complete and utter absence of my father. A year ago, I wasn't prepared for my new asset that walked in with bubble gum hair and missing teeth. And five minutes ago, I wasn't prepared for her to fall into my arms, soaking wet, freezing, and crying.

It never crossed my mind that I had no idea what was going on. It didn't even cross my mind that we were standing in the middle of Operations. All that really registered was that she was standing in front of me, black mascara tears running down her cheeks, shaking violently, whether from cold or the reaction to whatever it was that put her in this state.

So I pulled her into my arms and let her break down, tangling my fingers in her wet hair. In a moment, she slid her arms under my suit jacket and gripped my shirt fiercely, like I was the one thing holding her to reality. Maybe I was, I don't know.

I have no real estimate of how long we stood there. Long enough that her tears had almost subsided but her trembling hadn't.

She looked up, wiping at the black streaks on her face.

"Vaughn?" My name slipped tremulously from her lips, little more than a whisper. "I want to go home."

I nodded, thinking quickly. I realized there were quite few ways I could get her home. I could call a cab, I could call Will. I also realized that there was only one option I wanted to take, but it was possibly the stupidest thing I could do. I wanted to take her home myself and make sure she'd be okay. It's not like I didn't trust Will and Francie to take care of her… I just wanted to be there. Right. Screw protocol. I'm going to take her home.

I smiled at her before turning to grab my coat.

"Let's get out of here," I said, gently pressing a hand to the small of her back.

When we hit the parking garage, and I discovered how hard it was still raining, I realized that if security was monitoring Syd's house, they'd probably be slacking tonight. So I felt less worried as I opened my passenger door and helped her in.

As soon as I put the car into gear, she reached for my hand and clung, never saying a word. I was still content in the knowledge that she'd tell me when she was good and ready and that there was no point in pressing her.

It was slow going to her place, owing to the fact that with the rain, I had some issues seeing two feet in front of me. Every time I stopped, I glanced over at her, becoming more and more worried that she was in shock. Her hand was like ice in mine and I could see her shaking. These were not positive signs.

When I pulled up in front of her houses, I saw two anxious faces at the window. Great. Someone is going to have to do some serious explaining to Francie. I mentally nominated Will as I put my car into park. One long look at Sydney confirmed my suspicions that she was in shock and I hurried to open her door. She didn't seem to notice the rain drenching us as we walked to the porch, or Francie opening the door with a very worried look on her face.

"Oh, my God, Syd…" she trailed off as she looked over her best friend.

I glanced around briefly and met Will's eyes. He knew that something was very not right if I was bringing her home. I shook my head to tell him I didn't know what was going on before turning my attention to Francie.

"She's in shock, she needs to get warm in a hurry."

Francie took Syd's arm and ushered her hurriedly to where I assume the bathroom was. I turned back to Will.

"What the hell is going on?" He was on his feet, looking worriedly after Sydney.

I sighed, running a hand down my face. "The truth is, I have no idea. She just… kind of wandered into Operations like this."

A genuinely frightened look crossed Will's face.

"Look," I said, trying to be reassuring, "she's in shock right now. She's going to be fine. You know that, right? She's Sydney. She can get through anything."

He looked at me, trying to make himself believe what I was saying. I was trying to believe, too.

"Yeah, yeah, you're right, she'll be fine…" he trailed off, looking thoughtful. Then his eyes widened. "Oh, God. What about Francie?"

I shook my head, sighing again. "I don't think there's really anything else to be done but tell her everything."

"Everything about what?"

Francie was standing behind us. Damn. I hate when people do that.

"How's Syd?" I ask, noting her absence.

She looked at me like 'who the hell are you?' and said "She's in the bathtub."

There was a pause and then: "Okay, someone had better start explaining things to me. Right now."

I looked at Will. He met my eyes for a second and then turned his nervous gaze to Francie.

"Fran, I think you'd better sit down."

Will was a good storyteller. I gave some input, slumped on the couch, but he carried the whole thing very well. Francie, on the other hand, did not. She was shocked, yes, and angry. Finding out that everyone sitting in her house was somehow involved in international espionage but her was something of a nasty surprise. Luckily, the angry tirade I could tell she was going to embark on was thwarted by the sudden appearance of Sydney.

I have seen Sydney at some low points in her life. This had to be one of the worst. She just looked so… forlorn and broken. Looking around the room, she tried to smile before collapsing onto the couch next to me. I instinctively wrapped an arm around her, and she looked…thankful, almost, before resting her head on my shoulder.

"You okay now, honey?" Francie asked. All the anger in her countenance had been replaced by concern for Syd.

Sydney nodded, the corners of her mouth turning up very slightly. "I'm sorry, Francie. You deserved to hear this a long time ago, but after what's happened to the people that find out… I'm just so scared to say anything…" Her voice had started to tremble and my arm tightened around her. "Look, you all deserve an explanation for tonight…but… I just…I can't…not now…" The tears began to fall again and she pressed her face into my neck.

I could feel the two concerned gazes on Syd as I gathered her into my arms again, but my focus was only on her. After ten or so minutes, she relaxed against my chest, and I could tell she'd fallen asleep. A moment later, Francie stood up.

"Come on," she whispered. "She should be in bed."

I nodded my agreement and then, being excruciatingly careful, scooped Sydney up in my arms.

Her bedroom was everything that she was: light, airy, elegant. I gently laid her down on the queen-sized bed and made to leave, but a hand grabbed mine. I turned back and met her dark eyes that were still unnaturally bright.

"Michael?" I felt my heart clench. "Stay with me?"

I nodded without a second thought. Like I could ever deny her anything when she used my first name and looked like that. In that moment, though, I was very conscious of Will's gaze boring into the back of my skull as he said goodnight. Francie, on the other hand, looked almost grateful that I was staying as she kissed Sydney's forehead before leaving and closing the door behind her.

A minute later, wearing my suit pants and a T-shirt, I climbed into bed next to Syd and held my arms out. As she tucked her head under my chin, I stopped to think about how awkward this should be and how awkward it wasn't.

"I got hypnotized, Vaughn." I froze. It was all going to come out in a rush now. "Project Christmas… my dad…he, he tested it… on me.." She was shaking again. "I was six years old… and he…oh, God… I was programmed to be a spy…"

Oh, holy shit. I drew a shaky breath, running my hands in circles over her back. There wasn't anything I could really do… just hold her until the tears stopped. I couldn't tell her it was going to be okay, because I really wasn't sure it was going to be.

After fifteen minutes or so, there were no more tears for me to brush away and she had gone quiet within the circle of my arms.

"Vaughn?" she whispered into my neck.

"Mmm?"

"It's too quiet to sleep."

I smiled into her hair. "Close your eyes," I whispered before starting to softly sing the first song that came into my head. "When you feel all alone, and the world has turned its back on you, give me a moment please, to tame your wild, wild heart; I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you, it's hard to find relief and people can be so cold…"

I have no idea why that song was the one I was singing. "When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore… let me be the one you call, if you jump I'll break your fall, lift you up and fly away with you into the night. If you need to fall apart, well I can mend a broken heart; if you need to crash, then crash and burn, you're not alone…"

I could tell she was out before I started the second verse. I dropped a small kiss on her forehead before closing my eyes. Before I fell asleep, I took a moment to ponder what Weiss would say if he could see me now.

I smiled.