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"Chan? Chandler?"

A voice interrupted my dreams and forced me to open my eyes.  I had been having a nice dream.  Nicer than the ones I usually have and I'd been warm, too.  It had been raining the whole night and my bed was the only spot in the whole apartment where I'd been comfortable.  I'd have wanted it to stay that way but apparently, somebody had other plans.

At first, everything I saw was a blur, then when my eyes cleared, I turned around and propped myself out of my elbows.

"Yaaarrrghh!!"

Something was standing beside my bed! Some god-awful creature that knew my name was standing beside my bed!!

I turned on the lamp in a hurry, thinking maybe it would vanish the moment the light hit it like some sort of vampire.

"Hey, hey, cool it.  What's wrong with you?"

Joey stood over me like some ghost in a white t-shirt and boxers (which I know he just put on), clutching Hugsy, his toy penguin, by the unfortunate mammal's wing.  His hair was sticking out in all directions and he had that look on his face that told me there was something on his mind.  Most of the time, that 'something' isn't worth any of my attention.

"Joey! What the hell do you think you're doing?" I clutched my chest, trying to calm my racing heart.  "God, you scared the bejeezus out of me,"

He looked confused.  "I thought that 'Lord of the Dance' guy was the one…"

"Never mind," I said. "What are you doing here?"

My heart was still pounding but not that much anymore.  I looked at Joey, who didn't seem to want to talk, then after a minute, lay back down to get to sleep again.

"Okay, thanks for scaring me, Joe, now go back to bed," I said, reaching out to turn off the lamp.

"Wait a minute!" he said, stopping my arm.  I threw him an annoyed glare.

"What?" I asked again.

"Chandler…can I ask you a question?"

I gave him a withered look.

"Well you're obviously here for something, aren't you?" I told him.  I wasn't that patient with him that moment.  It was too early in the morning, I'd almost pissed in fright and he'd made me feel the cold in the room again.  I'd been hoping to stay asleep until at least dawn broke so I could turn up the thermostat a little without Monica knowing.

"Well…" Joey folded his arms, Hugsy dangling helplessly from his grip, and started shrugging.

I waited, mentally counting down from 10.  If he still wasn't going to tell me just what exactly was it that he wanted before the countdown ended, I was going to go back to sleep, never mind what he'd say.

"Well, what, Tribianni?" I asked him impatiently.

When he didn't answer right away, I lay back down again and reached out to turn the lamp off…

"Wait! I'm gonna ask you already,"

I turned to him one last time, scolding myself mentally for not being able to discipline myself. 

"Last chance,"

"What happens now?" he looked at me the same way a five-year-old would if he'd be asking about his parents' divorce.

"What?"

What was he asking me? I couldn't believe I was robbed of my sleep just for it.

"After all you guys…you know…what happens to me?"

He looked at me in the eye and I started to wonder if he was high on something.  After a minute of staring, I snuggled up under the covers again and this time turned the light off.

"Go to sleep, Joe,"

"Chandler, I'm serious---" he whined.

"You'll be fine, now go back to sleep," I told him.

"But listen to me a little first…"

I sat up as if a rocket had suddenly been shoved up my ass.

"Joey, it's 3:00 in the morning.  I'm trying to sleep.  If you listen closely, you'll hear the whole of New York snoring!"

I couldn't help yelling a little.  Joey looked hurt when I finished but tried hard not to show it.  I knew that look and I knew I had caused it, but I didn't care at the moment.  In fact, I didn't care about anything else aside from waking Monica up with my voice.

"You have Rachel, what do you need to wake me up in the middle of the night for?"

"She's scary, Chandler," he said. "And she wouldn't understand.  She threatened to throw Hugsy out of the window if I woke her up again,"

"Oh I can be scary," I assured him.  "And I can do worse things to Hugsy if you don't leave me alone right now and let me sleep,"

I could only see him with the help of the moon shining through the window so I couldn't see his next expression clearly.  But, thank God, he turned to leave.

"Okay, okay, sorry, man," he said apologetically.  "Sorry if I bothered you or anything…"

"Oh you didn't bother me at all, man," I said sarcastically.

I got ready to sleep, my back to the door.

"Good night, Chan,"

"Good morning, Joe," I muttered, hearing the door click shut.

I closed my eyes and tried to regain my stolen slumber.  I was just settling in when I heard the door open again.

Damn it.

"Joey—" I sputtered angrily.

"Hey, you do know that when you need something in the middle of the night, I'm your man, right?" said Joey, his head poking through.

"If it's a baseball bat to knock you out I think Monica can provide it for me, thanks," I told him dryly.  He didn't seem to get the point.

"Great! Just so you know,"

He shut the door again and I let myself fall back on the pillows.

Man.

Now I was wide awake.