Beginning Notes: Well, I suppose it's time for another update! Lucky you! I have a goal here, and I'm really hoping that all you readers out there help me reach it! I woul really like to reach 100 reviews by the seventh or eighth chapter. Really? You'll help?! Great, so just review each chapter you read! Oh and telling others about it might be nice too. I seem to not have gotten reviews from many of my most loyal reviewers from For the Love of Kane. Oh well... I hope they actually know that the rewrite is now posted and aren't waiting for it anymore. Well, this chapter is for all the fans out there! I tried to get it posted as soon as I could, today is my last exam so hopefully I have more time for writing over the summer.

Disclaimer: I own Aspin.... The idea of Aspin and Kane's relationship...Amber belongs to Zadien... and this story...and....well, If you think of anything else, contact me.

Real Emotion

Sorrow

Aspin casually waltzed through the front door, quickly dumping her bag on the floor near the closet. Her mother had scolded her several times about leaving her bag in the middle of the floor when the closet was right there. This time, she had decided to leave the bag on the floor near the wall. Then her mother couldn't say she was leaving it in the middle of the hall because technically she wasn't.

She began her stealthy and planned climbing of the stairs, hoping with all might that she wouldn't be caught sneaking in at such an hour. It was fairly late on her mothers standards, around eleven. To Aspin that was the equivalent of maybe nine.

"Where the hell is that creaky step?" Aspin muttered in the dark as she continued to travel up the stairs. She wandered up them carefully, hanging onto the banister tightly so she didn't accidentaly trip and knowing her luck end up falling flat on her back.

If that happened it was sure to notify someone of her existance in the house so she continued slowly and carefully. She could now see the hall at the top of the stairs. The moonlight shone through the window at the end of the hall, bathing it and the top few stairs in an eerie and pale light.

She had now reached the fourth stair from the top, perhaps she had been imagining the creaky step all along. Her journey had been silent and uninterupted. Feeling more confident, Aspin took the last few stairs quickly. As soon as her foot touched the top stair she immediately regretted her carelessness as it creaked, loud and long.

Aspin stood on the top step, not daring to move or breathe. If her mother found her sneaking in at such a time she would surely be punished for it. They might take away her drum set in the basement or even resort to grounding her.

She took in a breath as she noticed the light playing out from under her parents bedroom door.

"Damn..," She silently cursed her misfortune.

It appeared that they were waiting up for her the whole time. It would be bad enough to face her mother in the darkened hallway, but if her father came as well she'd be toast. Normally he wouldn't find out until the next morning and by then it was too late to punish her as she would already be over it. He would usually just smile and laugh as he sipped his morning coffee.

Unfortunately it would seem that tonight she would get the double take. She sighed, waiting silently at the top of the stairs, planning on what cute face she would put on this time to win their hearts. To her great surprise, nobody exited the room. She dared to step closer to her bedroom which was only at the very end of the hall.

She resorted to crawling on the ground, it was the easiest and fastest way to move across the hall without attracting much attention from sleeping occupants. This she had learned from her many nightly excursions. She was only a few feet away from her open door when she heard hushed voices from her parents room. Crouching just inside her doorway, she strained to hear what they were saying.

"This is for the best then..." Her mother mumbled, almost so quietly she couldn't hear.

"It wouldn't make sense..... make everybody happy," her father replied. His voice was so quiet that she missed several words.

After that she watched as someone crossed the room and turned out the light. In the pale moonlight she saw the doorknob turn and she ducked back into her room. The door opened and someone paused before heading down the stairs, not even trying to conceal the creak as they began their descent.

Aspin quickly shut her door quietly and then crossed her room to her one of her windows. Her room was the corner room, and her house was the corner house. She had an excelent view of the road and immediately recognized her father's car as he drove off down the silent streets.

Falling back onto her bed se wondered about the conversation.

"What were they saying could make everybody happier...and just why did Dad leave in the middle of the night. The office isn't open yet, and he turned the wrong way," She rolled over onto her side and stared at the blank window.

Eventually her eyelids tugged and she was to tired to care or try and stop them.

The next morning was quite different to Aspin. Her father hadn't returned it seemed and her mother had gone off to work early, leaving her a note in the kitchen with thirty dollars attached.

"Dear Aspin.. I was called in early since the network seems to be down and their in big trouble down at the office. Clients from all over the world need to be contacted and explained too and the place is just a mess. I'm sorry for not being able to stay at least until you woke up so I could tell you in person, but its an emergency and I couldn't wait around. I was going to wake you but it was far too early. I left some money so that you can go out for lunch if you want to. Have a good day, I'm not sure when I'll be back, "Aspin read the note aloud.

She shrugged, tossing it into the garbage and shoving the money into a pocket, " If the money is there, I'm not afraid to take it."

She had just sat down when someone knocked at the glass doors leading onto the patio. Getting up again she unlocked and opened the door for the occupants on the patio and allowed them in. Amber quickly set to the task of making herself coffee while the two red-headed boys, Tala and Johnny made themselves comfortable at the table.

"Didn't think you'd show up so early," Aspin started, "Its not like any of you to be up so early."

"Hence why I am making nice hot coffee Sherlock," Amber replied as she rumaged through the cupboards in search of a coffee worth her while.

"Point taken Watson," Aspin casually replied as she took the third seat at the table.

"Enrique, Olly and Ty were going to come too but Olly and Enrique helped out at the restaurant and Ty..well he's just Ty," Tala explained as he grabbed a banana from the basket in the centre of the table.

Aspin nodded as she pulled her hair back and proceeded to tie it up with an elastic. Today since her mother wasn't around to tell her not too, she decided to put her hair up in a messy bun. By the time she had finished, Amber had joined them at the table with coffee. Johnny was busy tossing grapes in the air and then leaning back to catch them in his mouth.

"You know, I'd laugh so hard if you fell right now," Aspin commented as he leaned back the farthest he had ever.

"I'd join her, especially if it hit you got hit right in the eye and then you fell backwards," Amber added, eliciting a snicker from Aspin and Tala.

Johnny shook his head and glared at the two girls," I'm pro, something stupid like that would never happen to me. Besides, this takes skill which both of you are lacking in."

Aspin rolled her eyes at the red-haired friend as Amber muttered something under her breath.

"Speak for yourself Johnny, I happen to have plenty of skills," Aspin smirked proudly. Amber rolled her eyes and Johnny snorted.

"Yeah, like what? Attracting all the losers for fights?"

"Shut up blood head," Aspin growled as Johnny glared back, "I am perfectly capable of sending them running with their tails between their legs as well."

Tala finally seemed to get into the breakfast conversation at that point, eagerly responding to Aspin's statement, "Yeah, I ran into Kane on my way home from the board shop. He looked pretty pissed."

"You don't say?" Johnny asked.

"Yeah, you should have seen Aspin kick his ass good yesterday, that'll teach him to come looking for a fight again," Amber reminiced. Aspin sat there, not taking part in the conversation. The glory was nice and she wasn't about to ruin it.

"So what happened anyways?" Johnny asked, it took a few seconds before Aspin realized that he was addressing her.

"Not much, he was being an ass so I decided to kick his," Aspin smiled sweetly," I don't know what compelled me to do so, we all know I'm an angel after all..."

Tala snorted, "Your about as far from being an angel as it gets sweety. Sorry to burst your cloud, but you and Amber both."

"What's that supposed to mean you jerk," Amber quickly retaliated, reaching over to smack him upside the head when he leaned back in the chair, causing him to fall to the floor with a yelp.

"Remind me to thank your chair sometime Aspin," Amber beamed down at Tala who was currently picking himself off the floor.

"Damn it, that freakin hurt!" Tala whined.

"Serves you right, I already pointed out that one of you red-headed freaks was bound to fall over," Aspin pointed out.

"Don't state the obvious you little ass," Tala replied as he grumpily turned the chair back upright and sat down again carefully.

"Aren't your parents home?" Johnny asked.

Aspin scurried over to the fridge and was in the process of pouring herself a refreshing glass of orange juice. She replaced the jug of juice in the fridge and sipped her glass as she returned to her previous spot at the table.

"Nope," she replied after she had finished a sip of the juice, "Mom had to leave for work early. Network's down."

"I hate when that happens, especially since my dad thinks its the perfect oppourtunity to teach me a little bit about running a business. He always drags me off to work early in the morning. I don't mind skipping school, but I do mind having to talk to a bunch of fat, bitchy businessmen all day," Tala commented.

"Must suck to be you then. I never have to go into work, instead I get money," Aspin pulled the crumpled bills out of her pocket and resisted a smile at Tala's surprised face.

"Yeah, Tala's the king of lazyness. I can't believe how much that you sleep on average. You're more active when you have a hangover," said Amber.

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with enjoying what rest I get. I'm telling you, the world is too fast and energetic for its own good these days," He quickly defended himself.

Aspin shrugged as she gathered up her glass and her friends now empty coffee cups. She quickly placed them in the dishwasher before putting away the coffee maker.

"So... what about your dad?" Johnny asked.

Inwardly Aspin cursed him. The matter of why her father had left in the night and exactly where he went and when he was going to come back was something she had hoped to avoid. She sighed and then traversed the length of the room.

"He left somewhere late last night."

Amber shrugged, "Probably taking care of that network problem."

"Yeah.. probably," Aspin replied lightly, hoping with everything she had in her that he was.

Aspin's family was very close knit. Every summer there were reunions and at Christmas there was a family get together which lasted a day. They were always in contact, via email, letters or the phone. She could name dozens of family members, some that she hadn't seen since she was small but still remembered and spoke to.

She didn't know as many members on her fathers side. Her grandparents, aunts, uncles and her cousins. They didn't really see eachother often. Sometimes they didn't meet for years and would only stay in contact when they mailed birthday and christmas presents and cards. It was probably because they lived out in Europe which was quite a long ways to travel for a day long reunion. It was just too hard to keep in contact, and many seemed as if they didn't want to.

She hadn't heard from her aunts and uncles for a long time now, not since their kids moved out and went to college. The only cousin that really seemed to want to keep in contact with her was Zeo, but between school and lack of funding they only ever got to see each other every few years.

"Hey, we should get goin," Johnny broke through her thoughts.

"Yeah I guess, we promised to meet Olly and Enrique over at the Friar's Rest," Amber replied, retrieving her shoes which she had discarded by the patio door and pulled them on.

Aspin watched as the guys joined her. Casually pulling on their skateboard shoes, not bothering to untie and then retie them. "I'll meet you guys over at the school," Aspin told them as she let them out the front door, "I have to finish printing out something for my mom on the computer, then I have to finish my makeup and stuff."

Amber wrinkled up her nose, "Geez, I don't see why you think you need to be wearing makeup all the time. You're one of the prettiest girls I know out there, not to mention I know there are several guys out there planning on askin you out sometime, when they get some balls that is."

Aspin couldn't help but smile at her friends smart comment, "Oh yeah? Well, if they finally get the balls to ask me out and actually succeed, I can practically guarantee that after the first date they'll need to sew em' back on."

Amber shook her head before she went on, "Besides, I'm sure there's nobody out there."

"Don't kid yourself girl. I can name at least one bluebird out there."

Aspin shook her head as she waved to her friends, watching as they hopped the fence surrounding the yard before she closed the door. She checked the time on her watch before bounding upstairs to the washroom.

She didn't reappear until several minutes later. She quickly discarded the papers on the dining room table when a curious manilla envelope caught the corner of her eye. Normally she wouldn't have cared to bother with something as normal as an envelope but it seemed to send her a feeling that made her spine tingle anxiously and her blood run cold.

She quickly retrieved it, it was obvious by the way it had been hidden inside a book that somebody in this house was not meant to see it. Most people wouldn't have noticed it but from the position she had been standing in and the angle she was looking from she could see a small portion of it sticking out.

She quickly scanned the address, it was from some law firm in the city and it was addressed to her mother. She didn't know why but her hands began to sweat as she nervously opened the envelope, pulling out several pieces of paper.

She had been reading them for no more than a few seconds before she dropped them. Her face became pale as tears threatened to spill from the corners of her eyes. A divorce.... thats what they had been talking about and that was why he had left. She beant over and mechanically placed the papers back into the envelope and carefully replaced it. Her mind was black, filled with sadness and confusion. She stiffly walked to the front door, closing it and locking it, not even caring for her schoolbag which was laying discarded in the hall.

Amber quickly passed a note across the row to Johnny who sat beside her. He quickly unfolded it as Amber returned to scribbling none to tidly in her notbook. His eyes scanned the paper, quickly reading the short but urgent message.

I think something is wrong. She didn't come to school today. If she was sick she would have called and she promised to meet us. I tried calling her cell but it was turned off, she never does that.

Johnny glanced over at his friend who's normally calm features were crossed with fear. He nodded his understanding. Aspin had promised to meet everybody at the Friar's Rest that morning. She hadn't left with them because she needed to finish up some stuff back home or so she said, but she had never arrived. They had waited as long as they could before eventually leaving assuming that she might have been running late and just met them at the school.

Mysteriously she hadn't been there. She hadn't shown up for any of her classes and hadn't tried to contact any of them. Amber had been trying to reach her on her phone for the entire day but to no success. Aspin had turned off her phone which was very unusual since she always kept it turned on.

Everybody was on the edge now, everybody including Kane surprisingly enough. The bluenette had been constantly pounding them with question after questions such as, 'When did you leave?' and 'Why the hell are you just standing around for?!'. Johnny himself was too worried about Aspin to really care or he would have pounded him.

He quickly scribbled a note back to Amber and passed it over. There was nothing any of them could do until school was finished but after that he swore that he would search the entire city if he had too, just to see his dear friend and make sure she was still alive.

Aspin's heart skipped a beat when she saw her old flame. It had been a few months since she had last seen or spoken to him. He walked casually down the street, his dark brown hair falling into his eyes, slightly covering the chocolate brown orbs. He attended the prep. school on the other side of town, but they had always found time for eachother.

Aspin decided not to make to much of it, and run over to say hi. If he still want's to talk to me, he will, she told herself. Part of her wanted to run over to him, the part that still had feelings for him. The other parts wanted to stay as far away from him as possible.

She nearly jumped off the bench when he tapped on her shoulder. She slowly looked up at him, a nervous smile on her face and a hue of anxiety in her eyes.

" Hey there. Mind if I have a seat?" He asked, guesturing to the empty space beside her on the bench. She tried to reply, but found her voice gone, and her throat parched. She simply nodded, avoiding the embarassment of croaking out something inaudible.

He took a seat beside her, slouching down lazily. " It's been a while," he began, " I called but your mother told me you were at your grandmother's for the summer."

" Yeah," she replied, her voice barely louder then a whisper, " I'm sorry for not telling you."

They sat there, together in an uncomfortable silence. Neither one daring to look at the other, each oblivious to the world around them. Alas, it was Marko, her old flame that broke the awkwardness that was wrapped around them.

" I'm sorry," he whispered, causing her to look up at him. She was about to say something but he quickly cut her off, " Before you say anything. Please hear me out."

Aspin wasn't sure what to do. What was he going to say? She nodded her head for him to continue.

" I know it was me who caused you to stay away all summer. It was my fault, I shouldn't have played you like that," he apologized, his voice thick with sincerity, " That prank, it was plain mean. I don't know why I did it. I guess I was too much of a self-confident ass to think about the damage it would cause."

Aspin looked around her, anywhere but his eyes. She finally found her gaze resting on the ground, as painfull memories flooded her brain once again.

It was the final dance of the year, at Winston's Prep School. She had met Marko a few weeks before and he insisted she be his date, despite her complaints about wearing a formal gown. Eventually she gave in, much to Marko's delight, and found herself at the dance, light pink gown and all.

Marko had been stunning that night. Wearing a very elegant tuxedo, he was every girls dream date. He always got her drinks for her, and at every chance would whisper kind things into her ear. Every slow song that was played they would dance, resting briefly during the fast songs, enjoying themselves thoroughly.

The end of the dance was approaching. Many students were at the pay phones or on cell phones, calling taxi's of asking their parents to pick them up. The time had come for that night's king and queen to be announced, and it was no other than Marko and Aspin. They were on stage. Marko had just been crowned and a girl, the last dance's queen was putting on her tiara, careful not to damage it or wreck her hair.

Aspin had just straightned up and the girls had backed away. She turned to find an odd smile had fixed itself on Marko's face. She watched as his eyes flicked upwards for a brief moment then returned to the crowd assembled at the stage. Aspin, curious as to what he had been looking at turned her face skyward, just in time to see it fall.

A bucket of pig's blood splashed down onto her, covering her in the sticky substance. She cried out as she looked to Marko, but found him laughing at her, eyes twinkling in delight at her pain. After that everything was a blur. She ran out, stopping only to take off her shoes as she ran home as fast as she possibly could.

She remembered Amber, who had been returning from the corner store, and how she had almost bumped into her. Amber's face was a picture of worry as she saw the state her friend was in. Her hair plastered to her face, smeared with blood. Her dress drenched, clinging to her body.

Again Aspin ran, not wanting her friend to see her as such a disaster. Her vision grew blury, as unshed tears found their way.

Aspin let in a strangled gasp as she felt Marko take her hand. She quickly pulled away. She vaugly remembered Marko apologizing over and over again, but she had been lost in memory.

" Please Marko. I just can't speak to you," she faltered when Marko's face fell, " It's just to painful. No matter how much you apologize, I'll never be able to forgive and forget."

She stood up and was about to walk away, but he grabbed her by the wrist. She tried to pull away, but his grip was firm and he was to strong.

" Please, Aspin-"

" Please, Aspin, No! I can't do this Marko. It's just not in me!" She cried as she yanked her arm out of his grip. She could feel tears beginning to form in her eyes, and she quickly walked away. Not wanting to show her pain.

She didn't know how long she had been walking for. She didn't know where she was going, but then again, she didn't really care. She eventually found herself at the town centre, which wasn't very far from her home, sulking in an alley. She didn't care about the rest of the world at the moment. She was to lost in misery to notice anything around her. First the discovery of her parents divorce, then seeing Marko again, it was all she could muster to stay sane again.

"Damn it, Damn it! Damn it!!" She screamed her rage, kicking the alley wall but regretting it a moment later. She was so caught up in her anger that she didn't notice another occupant in the dark alley until a pair of muscular arms encircled her from behind.

She immediatly stiffened, refusing to utter a sound as she was gently turned around. She let out a small whimper as a pair of firm lips pressed themselves against her own. She relaxed as she was pulled into a firm chest, letting loose a small sigh.

"Kane.." she moaned into his neck as he held her tightly.

"Where were you today? Your friends are worried something happened too you," his deep voice rumbled into her ears as he kissed her jawline, slowly moving away.

Aspin surpressed a small moan of disappointment as he pulled away. "Kane?" She whispered.

"Kane?!" She was fiercly brought back to reality by a sudden, sharp sting on her cheek. A few tears welled up into her eyes causing her vision to go blurry but she saw his hand return to his side and faintly heard the string of curses that came afterward... Marko's string of curses.

"You slut... how dare you! How dare you call out his name when we're together!" Marko's face was tinged red in his anger. She pressed back against the wall, willing herself to shrink so that she could escape. He had hit her... of all the things he had hit her. She was still in shock when she numbly started to run.

She thought she heard him pursuing her but she lost him somehow, probably on one of the turns a little while back. She didn't really come out of her trance until she opened the door. She heard a loud scrape as a chair was quickly pushed back and her mother appeared running down the hall towards her.

"Aspin!" her mothers voice was shakey and thick with worry as she engulfed her in a protective hug.

"Moma..." Aspin reached around her to comfort her. Her hands tracing circles as she felt warm tears through the shoulder of her shirt, "It's ok..."

"Where were you? I got a call from the school, they said you didn't show up for any of your classes so I came home hoping you where here," her mothers eyes displayed disapproval and worry. The worry she could deal with, but the disapproval made her feel guilty, like she had commited some horrible crime.

"Its ok.. I wasn't feeling well and I went down to the cafe for some hot chocolate hoping I would feel better. I'm home now," Aspin lied. She would have told the truth but she wanted to wait. She wanted to wait and see just how long her parents intended to keep their secret from her. She went to head upstairs but was stopped by her mother's firm but gentle grasp on her wrist.

"What happened to your cheek? Its all red."

"Really it is?" Aspin faked. What else could she do? She wasn't about to say that she had let her ex-boyfriend beat her in an alley, "I'll check it out upstairs."

Her mother hesitated but reluctantly let go unsure of what to think of her daughters strange behavior over the day. Aspin quickly mounted the stairs, tears openly flowing as she firmly shut her bedroom door. She didn't bother to check how bad her cheek really was and she ignored the flashing light on her phone signalling missed calls. Instead she lay on her bed, alone in the dark and cried.

End Notes: And that is my glorious update. Sorry it took so long, the next chappie is in the works I promise. Would it be to much to ask if everybody who read this chapter would review? Just so that I know how many people actually read this story. And to all my loyal fans, thank you very much.