Disclaimer: Praise J.K Rowling and her intelligence. She owns the characters (the ones you recognize) ad the setting. I own the plot, some characters (the ones you don't recognize, and a French dictionary (not Latin).

Summary: An accident in Potions forces Lily and James to be stuck together…literally. A bond, invisible and unbelievable, only allows them to separate by 1 meter only, and that 'bond' isn't love.

Authors Note: Thank youuuu!!! Yup, reviews really do push me to write more!Thanks to MPPLilyPotter, melody-dance, killer flamingo, shadowed.phoenix, I-h8-sclub, AndromedaTonks, pranksterqueen, Ms. Witch, snazzysnez, Sara Warder, tHeOnEaNdOnLyStEpHy, melancholic, and FreckledIrishMaiden for putting me on your Author Alerts/Favorites list! Although I'm not sure whether it's for this story or the other but I'm putting it here anyway! Now for my ever thankful list:

webdwonder: Good one! Fan-fiction-tastic! You're Simon Cowell!!! Thank goodness you gave me a good review, then! I'm a lucky duckie! Hey, why wasn't it Fanfiction Idol? Haha. jk

spin dol: Marvy? Cool word! Yup, I patterned Adramelech after ::cough snape cough:: Thank you!

oreo: Your name makes me hungry! Yum! Oreos! Yeah, I have all those figure out! And I explain it all here! Yup, James is really funny! Thank you!

ne0nhunter: Thanks! I like being funny and making funny things!

sting-23: Thanks for saying it's not boring! I'm glad you found those parts funny! James is utterly clueless! Woo Hoo!

melody-dance: Thank you! Here's the update! Cute it is!

ShOrTnSwEeT9013: The Allan part was needed. I have this funny idea for their date. ::cackles maniacally:: where James is going to be the third wheel.

Tanya J Potter: Hey! I haven't been hearing from you for quite a while. Thanks!!

xxSpAzZiExx: Well here's the chapter for you to find out what happens next! Hope you like it! Thanks!

Suji: Ah, yes! The Allan part. Well, I was suppose to explain that in this chapter, but we'll have to wait for the third. Lily's different because she doesn't go and follow Allan everywhere, or be his slave. Lily's the same because well she sort of worships him secretly. I'll explain more on it in the 3rd chappie. Thanks!

Storywritter10791: Thank you! I tried to upload this chapter as soon as possible!

Twilight66: Wow! Thank you! Here's more! I hope the fun escalates!

spawn32818: I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long! Thanks!

Kailoa: Thanks!

Candee ci mo: Don't worry, I updated my other story yesterday. Yeah, I love Lily/ James too! Thanks!

crazy4padfoot: Thank you!!! James and Lily bickering is always a funny sight!

MissMisFit9: Those 4 words say so much to me! Thanks!

IloveMoony04: Hey didn't you say that in your first review to me? Haha. Yeah, great rhyme you made! Cool! Thank you!

Siria Black Midnight: She won't like James tagging along, but we'll see! I have some very hilarious plans for their date… BWAHAHA! Thanks!

FrekledIrishMaiden: I like your name! Thank you!

Ms. Witch: Thank you! You are so kind!

By: kaleidoscope0 0eyes (Pat)

Chapter 2: Men are Guiltless Women

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"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
- Sacha Guitry.

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Lily and James looked at each other, still screaming. It had turned into a sort of contest: the one who could scream the loudest. James yelled louder, and then Lily screamed louder. It was never-ending.

Remus lowered his head in his hand, embarrassed at James' immaturity; Peter looked dumbfounded; Hestia cheered Lily on; Alice giggled; Summer was awed at Lily's persistence. Sirius, on the sidelines, moved his hand towards an eraser, and took hold of it, grinning slyly.

At that point, James' eyes looked like they would bulge out of his eye sockets, and Lily's face was burning red as a fresh tomato as she gave one piercing shout. The students in the classroom covered their ears at the high-pitched scream.

James mouth was wide open now, when Sirius aimed the tiny eraser in the opening and shot. "Yes!" he said, and punched the air.

James was now coughing frenziedly, clutching his neck with his hands. Lily looked at him curiously and stopped shouting. COUGH! The eraser flew out of his mouth and knocked the professor on the forehead.

"Enough!" Professor Adramelech declared loudly, raising one hand above his head, and leaving the other to rub his very red forehead.

The boy and girl silenced, and looked at their teacher. "You two," he paused to catch his breath "You two are going with me to Headmaster Dumbledore!"

For a millisecond, Lily could feel herself cowering in fear at her Professor, who was already shaking angrily. She abruptly walked right behind him, forgetting about the bond, and pulled James forward without a warning. He sprung against Lily and both of them fell to the wooden floor.

"Get off me!" Lily demanded.

"I am! I am!" said James, removing himself from the awkward position. He tugged his hand out of Lily's mess of tangled red locks.

They followed out the door, glaring at each other.

"Damn, Evans, this all your fault." James muttered, as they walked a few feet behind Professor Adramelech.

"My fault?" Lily exclaimed. "You put the 8 petals in!"

"And you put the ten!"

"Oh my gosh!" said Lily, like something had dawned on her. She looked at James' curious face with horror in her eyes. "How are we going to sleep?"

James grinned cheekily. "My bed's always free…"

"In your dreams, Potter!" Lily said irately.

"Now you want me to dream about you!" James countered, still grinning.

"Oh sod it!" Lily said to close the conversation.

They turned a corner, and stopped before a large and extremely hideous gargoyle.

"Now, what's the password again?" Professor Adramelech mumbled to himself. "He changes it so frequently…Sugar Quill!" he shouted at the statue, but to no prevail. "Sherbet Lemon! …Chocolate Frog! No, he hasn't eaten any of those since the frog jumped and got lost in his robe (it made him dance like crazy), …Gummy Slugs! …Vomit Bean!"

The gargoyle jumped alive and leaped to the side, giving way for the stony wall behind it to open in two. They set foot on a circular staircase, when, to Lily's surprise it started moving upward.

Lily turned her head around rapidly, awed by what was happening. James idly watched her reaction and snickered. "Obviously your first time here."

She looked at him with a frown, and her put hands on her hips. "People like me don't get detention. Unlike sloths like you!"

James snorted, but didn't say anything.

The three had reached a grand oak door, with a gleaming brass knocker, shaped as a griffin. Professor Adramelech took hold of it and knocked three times. Without waiting for it to open he walked back down the staircase leaving Lily and James alone.

They stayed in silence, keeping their eyes on the door, Lily fearing the worst to come. The entrance creaked open slowly, revealing a cheery Professor McGonagall and Headmaster Dumbledore.

"What's the problem, children?" McGonagall asked, firmly. Her thin lips pursed together forming slight wrinkles under her eyes. Her brown hair was cut short under her long, bending witch's hat, and her long fingers were intertwined in her robe.

Lily entered and observed the unusual, but by far elegant, room. The walls were covered with talking (and even debating) portraits of the past Headmasters ("No, my beard's longer!" "Well, my nose is longer!"), all with long white beards, and wise-looking spectacles. It was a circular room decorated with all kinds of knick-knacks and what-have-yous, and in the center stood a large, stretching, claw-footed desk. Lily was also surprised to find a Phoenix beside it, and behind, on a shelf, the tattered old Sorting hat, mumbling "Slythindor" or "Ravenpuff".

She turned to James, still gasping, as if she did not hear McGonagall's question. James was looking at her, very amused at her child-like behavior. He then looked at the two professors and explained:

"Evans and I were partnered up for Potions class, when we had a row about how many petals of flower mallow to put. In the end, we accidentally put 18 petals in all in all. The potion erupted, and now we can't seem to leave each other's presence."

Lily gaped at his air of nonchalance. He acted as if this were nothing.

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled gleefully behind his half-moon spectacles. He smiled at them as he stroked his long white beard that stretched way below his navy blue robes. "Ah!" he said with a cool, raspy voice, "The old Bonding Spell, or as the wise call it, Lientocharme!"

"That's what Professor Adramelech said." James cut in.

"Yes. Well this is a very ancient curse. Yes, very ancient. Sit down, sit down!" he said, motioning towards two seats in front of his desk. "This spell was used during the time of arranged marriages. Arranged marriages started long ago, much earlier than the muggles. Some couples just couldn't get along, so they were made to drink this potion. And when they were able to separate, they found that they didn't want to."

James gaped. "Are you saying that after all this, I'm going to never want to leave Evans' side?"

Lily made a face of disgust, as if she couldn't even imagine the thought. "Um, Professor how is it that we remove this ancient curse?"

Dumbledore sighed. "Now that is something no one really knows. All I know is, when something changes in your attitude towards each other, you will no longer be bonded. But you cannot pretend to be nice, because this spell is strong, and it can see into your deepest thoughts and feelings."

"You mean we might be this way FOREVER?" James yelled hysterically.

"Who knows, you might be detached in a week, or a month. But no promises."

"Um, Headmaster Dumbledore, "Lily started, turning a bit red at her question, "how are we suppose to sleep and do our private business?"

"Oh yes! Now just because you cannot separate doesn't mean objects can't go between you two. There is a secret room in between the Boys' and the Girls' dormitory that I will open for you two."

James face brightened up. What luck he had of sharing a room with a girl? Even if she was his enemy, she was still a female. 'An ugly female, though.'

Lily, on the other hand, felt a sickening feeling churn her stomach. (Or it could've been because she was hungry for lunch)

"Yes, there are two twin beds, we can push them next to each other and put a cushioned wall in between. That way you get your privacy, and we won't exactly be breaking school rules.

"As for bathrooms, to shower you will just have to get into different stalls as you normally do, next to each other, but you won't see each other --" Lily blushed brightly "but you must be careful about moving, you can only separate by one meter, and one meter only. If one of you moves farther, you might send the other one crashing into the wall as you shower.

"And for the normal bathroom breaks, you will have to enter each other's gender-specific bathrooms, and wait for the other to do their business outside the cubicle. If you feel uncomfortable, you can always put the silencing charm around it so the other one won't hear you doing your business." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled once more as he said this, and James laughed out loud. Lily simply looked like she could die.

"You mean I get to enter the girl's bathroom!" James inquired excitedly.

"I'm afraid so." Dumbledore said, and looked at the time. "Oh no! You better go down to the Great Hall before the food vanishes! After lunch, approach Professor McGonagall for her to show you to your room, then you can proceed to your afternoon classes, I know you have the same schedule after all."

"This is horrible." Lily muttered as they left the room. "Potter, wipe that smug smirk off your face!"

After the two had left, it was just McGonagall and Dumbledore again. McGonagall looked shocked and said, "Headmaster! I cannot understand why you didn't tell them that there was a temporary separating spell, that you would have to say every 15 minutes!"

Dumbledore's eyes glistened wisely. "Something tells me that they were meant to get together. And if this is what fate brought them to, then by all means, I do not wish to reveal that spell."

"Are you saying, that this might have something to do with the fall of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?"

"Voldemort?" McGonagall shuddered at his name. "Perhaps." he answered. "Sometimes luck comes in all forms. Plus, it will be a funny sight seeing those two try to get along for once."

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Lily and James made their way to the Great Hall, trying to walk as far away as possible from each other: 1 meter apart. Every now and then they stumbled about, whenever one of them moved away, even if it was the slightest centimeter.

"I can't believe I have to leave the Marauders dorm for you!" James said. "Even if you are a girl."

"You're a nitwit you know that?" Lily told him.

"Well, if I'm a nitwit, then you're a nitwit, since we get the same grades." he explained. "Then practically the whole of Hogwarts is dumber than a nitwit. If that's what you're saying."

Lily glowered at him. "Smart-ass."

"See, now you're saying I'm a smart ass." he pointed out. "Emphasis on the smart"

"You're really unbelievable." she shook her head, and stopped in front of the door leading to the Great Hall. "Well, aren't you going to open the door for me?" she asked impatiently, tapping her foot.

"You're joking right?" he said, also stopping in front of the door. 'I'm not going to open that door for you! No way! No how!"

"Fine!" she said defiantly. "We'll just wait here until you open that door for me!"

"Fine! You'll be waiting here all day then!"

The two leaned against the door, waiting for the other to cave in and open it. Lily glared, while James gave his signature lopsided smirk and crossed his arms.

Both sixth year students were very persistent and stubborn, which complicated matters worse. It was until Lily's stomach started growling that she said, "I'm opening the door, but for me and me alone!"

She clutched the handle and pulled it open. Just as she entered, James slipped in as well. "Aha!" he pointed at her triumphantly, "You opened the door for me!"

"You slipped in!"

"But I did not once hold the door or handle! I win!" he declared, walking behind her to the long Gryffindor table.

Lily strutted, with her head held high not looking back at her blabbering 'shadow', toward the left end of the table, where the Marauders and her friends were enjoying an intriguing conversation.

Lily and James sat opposite each other and at once, piled their plates with food. "Potter, you're such a kid!"

"Who was the one so amazed by Dumbledore's office!" he retorted.

"There is a difference between child-like and childish!" she said, taking a sip out of pumpkin juice. "You, dear Potter, are childish!"

Intending to cut the argument short Alice interjected. "Um, we decided to sit next to each other, knowing that most probably you two would still be, um, bonded."

James and Lily stayed quiet as they filled their mouths with scrumptious delights. They needed their nourishment after all that bickering and shouting which was very energy consuming. Lily was already in a bad mood as it was. Replays of her earlier discussion with Dumbledore continually played in her mind. And the fact that she would be next to James every waking minute was just too much.

"H-hi James!' Someone said. Lily broke away from her reverie and looked up to whom she recognized as Naomi. "L-listen, would you like to go out sometime? Maybe occupy a broom closet together?" Her nervousness was suddenly replaced with a seductive quality.

James looked heartbroken. He forgot that being stuck to Lily Evans meant no more midnight rendezvous! He slouched regrettably and groaned. "Sorry Naomi. I'm in a bit of a predicament right now."

Naomi frowned. "But you said I was a great kisser! And that you thought I had a nice slim bod!"

"You are. You do." he said, not at all embarrassed. "But not right now." He took hold of her hand and gripped it tight. Added to that, he gave her a quick wink.

The girl looked like she was going to faint. A goofy grin spread across her face, and she stared at him dreamingly. Sirius watched, holding back his laughter. "Bye then!" she said, and pranced back to one of James' groupies.

"Potter charm." James said smugly. At that moment, the group that Naomi went to squealed with laughter. James grinned. "Always works." Sirius gave him a high five.

"You guys are sickening." Hestia said, her eyes narrowing at Sirius.

"They'll have a marriage license made out to 'to whom it may concern'." Lily stated.

"Men are amazing creatures." Summer said to everyone's surprise. "They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: butterbeer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control."

"What's a remote control." Peter asked.

"Never mind." Alice answered with the wave of her hand.

"Well, women should be scene and not heard, Hestia." Sirius retorted.

"That's 'Ms. Lawrence' to you!" Hestia said.

"Does 'Ms' stand for miserable?" he inquired with fake innocence.

Hestia growled at Sirius. "No. You're misinformed. It's short for a missile heading straight at you!"

"Good one!" Remus said, much to James' and Sirius' displeasure. "What? What's wrong with saying 'Good One'?"

They didn't reply, but instead, Sirius changed the subject. "So what's it like being stuck with good ol' Jamesie Boy?" he asked Lily roguishly.

Lily stared at his tactlessness in disbelief. "Oh stuff it! I'm brassed off (translation -- in a bad mood) enough as it is!"

"What's her problem?" Peter asked indirectly.

"PMS!" the boys shouted, so that every one could hear.

Summer leaned forward to hush them all up. "You think that whenever a girl's in a bad mood it's PMS!"

"You must admit, you girls can get pretty emotional." Remus said.

"Actually, I think during PMS is the only time of the month when I can really be myself." Lily cut in.

"Haha. Temperamental Ms. Evans." said James, who was stirring his tomato soup.

"Do you even know what it means?" Hestia challenged.

Sirius waved his hand superciliously "PMS = Period of Male Spanking."

"Are you daft?" Hestia said.

"Why? It doesn't mean that?" James asked. "Perhaps Period of Male Scolding."

The girls were speechless. "How thick can you get?" they said.

The group of eight continued on with their lunch, the boys still not knowing what PMS meant.

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"Damn!" Lily said when James and her were about to make their way to Professor McGonagall.

"Why?" James asked.

Lily squirmed a bit. 'I think I have to…go to the bathroom." She said the last part in a rush, and sighed self-consciously.

James grinned audaciously. "Is that all?"

"I can tell by the look in your eyes that you've got something planned." Lily said, staring at him, as if trying to decipher a sort of code.

"Girls Bathroom." he said, to no one in particular, "get ready for the Mighty James Potter!"

A/N: Dumbledore's one sly fellow, he is! Well, was it funny enough? I'm not really sure. I added some slapstick and some witty humor, whichever you like more. I don't know how long it will take me to write the third chapter, but PLEASE REVIEW! It makes me update faster.

(Chapter 3 highlights are in my bio)

DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!!!

Thanks. I had fun doing the R.A.D. (Review Alert Dance)! (details for the dance in my other story)

SEE (get it?) you soon, kaleidoscope eyes (Pat)

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