Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

I really reworked this this time. Before I just got rid of the parts I hated, but I completely rewrote it now. I intend to get rid of chapter two, and incorporate the parts worth having into this, but for now, I thought I'd stop here. Especially since I should be asleep already. The title is supposed to mean to die, or to withdraw one's breathing. At least that's what my book of idioms says. :)

Please let me know what you think! This will change a huge part of the story (the this-is-all-a-flashback part). I intend to someday make each chapter a lot longer too, but that is for another day.

CHAPTER ONE: Iki o Hikitoru

I expect something cataclysmic, something that could rip through everything I've ever loved and shatter me, heart, mind, and soul. I know it's coming so I wait, ready. But it never arrives. I sit forever, tensed, stressed, anxious, waiting. Alone. Everyone has died, everyone has gone from me. Nothing remains.

Thinking on it, I realize not even I remain. When I reach forward, nothing moves. When I look around, nothing sees. When I open my mouth and drink, nothing quenches my thirst. When I think about that too, I realize there was no thirst to quench.

I feel nothing, see nothing, hear nothing, am nothing. The world has ended and left me behind. I expected something great, something apocalyptic when my world ended and when I died. Instead I didn't even notice its passing. It was nothing, as I am now. Nothing.

I expect something cataclysmic. I can feel it coming. It's just around the corner. It's coming... it's coming.

I expect something to destroy me. I will scream and thrash, holding on to my last breath. It's coming, you see. I can feel it: it's coming.

I expect something amazing to come and show me the world's end. Because if it isn't great, and if it's so small I miss it, was anything worth it? Was I worth it? Don't worry, it's coming. It's coming.

I expect something, anything. It must be coming, please...

It never does.

I woke in a bed I'd never known before, suddenly thankful it was only a dream. Only a dream, but that wasn't the same as meaningless. White sheets, stained now by my sweat, clung to me as I sat, and a comforter laid where I had knocked it to the floor in my sleep. My sweat hung sharply in the air, stinging my nose. The room I woke in was small. It had two doors, one of which was slightly open, but not enough for me to peek out. A wooden chair rested beside the bed, turned at an angle that suggested someone had risen and left it there. A bookshelf stood against the nearest wall, sort of near the chair. On the far side of the room, was a chest or drawers built of lighter wood than the shelf and chair. One of the drawers wasn't closed right. There was a poster of a beautiful woman on the wall by the open door.

My chest was bare and damp, and a bandage covered the left side of my neck, slightly above the curse seal. I found I still had pants and begin to climb out of bed. My body was weak and exhausted; my mind moved sluggishly. We had a mission, I remembered: some thugs pretending to be vampires. Tsunade sent us as something of a practice mission because I had only recently returned. Or rather, Naruto had only recently dragged me back.

The village was small and comely, the kind you read about in storybooks where everyone is nice and everyone is happy. Even from a distance, when all we saw was the smoke rising from a chimney, I hated it. It was so calm. It was so peaceful. It was so perfect. A part of me understood why someone would want to harass it. Pain made this place more real, less a fairy tale. Or maybe, having a monster made it more so. But that made us fairy tale heroes, so I banished the thought.

Kakashi booked us a room at the inn rather than making us stay out in the snow. The innkeeper tried to infuse us with "Christmas cheer" and gave us all a warm mug of cocoa to sit with in front of the fire. Naruto claimed to be too old, but took it anyway. Sakura only smiled that way girls do when they think something is sweet and curled up with a warm blanket. I burned my mouth with the first swallow.

Our team leader crashed back into the inn from his patrol, followed by the howling wind. "They're here." Was all he said before rushing back into the storm. We dropped our mugs and followed.

The wind and snow would make locating our targets difficult, but they would provide us cover as well. I needn't have worried. The thugs rushed us almost immediately. They all wore black, and their eyes gleamed red through the storm. Somehow, they could hide their chakra, but most of them were weak enough to take out without trouble. Their leader though, was far more powerful. The difference between them was laughable, but he was stronger than us as well.

They had numbers, and separated Sakura and Kakashi from us. The leader sniffed at Naruto as they fought, and looked surprised. I didn't see what happened next because one of his underlings, a powerful woman with a violet scarf around her face, attacked me from behind. By the time I knocked her aside and turned back, Naruto was on the ground.

Without a thought, I rushed to him, just as I had in the land of mist. I tackled the "vampire," forcing him away from Naruto. For a moment, as we flew through the air, I saw his eyes: red, bloodthirsty eyes. He twisted his head to my neck and bit deep into the soft flesh. As my blood leaked out, passing through his hungry lips, the world became blurred and then blacked out altogether. I didn't know what happened next.

A slight creak as the door opened returned me to the present. Glancing up, I found Sakura staring at me, dumbstruck. Her green eyes gaped wide, and almost glazed over. I smelled something dark that almost tickled and realized it was fear, and it was hers. Some deep part of me wanted to smile, but instead I stood.

"Sakura, what..." But she screamed and ran, the terror finally bursting through her.

That's when I realized something was wrong.

Naruto ran full-speed into the room almost as soon as Sakura left. I saw his blue eyes widen, and realized he hadn't believed her. "Sasuke..." My name seemed to break from him unwillingly, like saying it would suddenly reveal me lying silently, motionlessly on the bed. I realized then, with Naruto staring at me like a ghost, that I should have died.

I realized I was panting as rapidly as he. I could hear—even feel—his heart racing, but I noticed suddenly that mine wasn't. My heart was still. Naruto was right: I was dead.

Tsunade rushed past the dazed Naruto, dragging Sakura along. She grabbed my wrist before I could move away, checking for a pulse. I didn't need a touch to feel hers. She began pulling out medical instruments from a bag she had Sakura hold for her. Then she and Sakura together used them to poke and prod me rather awkwardly. At some point, they either realized it wasn't worth their time or they had to run blood work. I wasn't paying attention, but either way, they left.

Kakashi and Naruto remained, both watching me apprehensively. The jounin sat in the chair with a forgotten book in his lap. He tried occasionally to read it, but it couldn't seem to hold his attention. Naruto just stood in the middle of the room, staring openly. His orange jumpsuit was wrinkled liked he'd slept in it, and his hair was messed. Dark bags under his eyes said whatever sleep he'd gotten had been far from enough. They said nothing. I said nothing. We all just watched each other. Their hearts beat loudly, still too fast, and their fear leaked out and into my nostrils.

"So," I said, unable to wait any longer. "I hear I died."