A/N: Welcome back, everyone! Ok, this is the last chapter of Has the Apocalypse Come Yet? So sad. Oh, well. Ok, now you should look for Faramir's TV show, airing sometime next week.
"What the #$% are we going to do about that #$% cliff, &# it!" Elrond says.
"I don't know. Jump?" Pippin says.
"That's about all we can do!"
"O YAVANA, LADY OF THE WOODS, SAVE US NOW!!!" Elrond says.
"Faith won't save us!!" Merry yells.
But suddenly, a massive pink hand, complete with nicely manicure nails, descends from on high and picks up Elrond and those around him. Which is everyone.
"Does this mean that the Great Pumpkin is real, too?" Pippin asks. Suddenly, all goes dark...
Back at Faramir's Basement...
"Whoa. That was freaky."
"Where's Arwen?"
"Shall we get Legolas?"
"What about Aragorn?"
"Would Arwen be smitten from the Valar?"
"My daughter!"
"What's the Valar?"
"Where's my daughter??"
"Shouldn't you have thought of that before you called upon the Valar?"
"What's the Valar?"
"Who cares?"
"What's going on?"
"ARAGORN!!!"
And Aragorn was standing on the stairwell, looking rather confuzzled.
"Where's Arwen?"
"She got sm---."
"SHHH!"
"Sorry, Merry."
"What was that, Pip?"
"Nothing."
"Ok...liar!"
"Ok, let me tell." Elrond says.
Elrond gets up and stands an inch away from Aragorn's face. Not really.
"Ok, mister, my daughter went on a rampage. Clearly you've been neglecting her and have not given a though to what she'll do in those situations. You should have been more responsible!" Elrond says, with that last sentence poking Aragorn very hard in the chest.
"Yeah, buddy? She's your daughter! You should have warned me! But no! What were you..." He pauses to count. "You 6 doing here, anyway? At least, I think there's six."
"Lesson No. 3: Aragorn learns to Count." Boromir says, not at all minding his volume so just about everyone in the basement can hear.
"Hey, punk, shut it!"
"Sorry, my Lord King. Everyone knows I'm the better candidate for King..."
"No, ME!"
"I am!"
"Hey, Aragorn."
"ARWEN!!!"
And after even more pointless screaming, everyone finally got back on track.
And then, Legolas came down the stairs, looking very beat up and abused.
"Hey, everyone." He said, his eyes covered by black and blue marks, and his arms revealing lovely bruises.
"Oh, dear Leggy, I'm sorry for what I did!" Arwen says.
"Really?"
"No."
"..."
"MEDIC!!!" Legolas screams.
Two envelopes come zipping through the air.
"Hey! We got into Oxford!!" Merry and Pippin say.
"That's great."
"We're gonna be smart!!!!!!!!!"
"What about my TV show?" Faramir asks.
Another piece of mail zips through the air.
"Dear Mr. Faramir, your TV show has been moved to a more convenient time slot, starting on the third day of the last week of July, we hope to see your letter of consent, Mr. Harcourt." Faramir reads the letter.
"We're going primetime!!" Boromir screams.
And so it came to pass that the Apocalypse came, although no one really knew it, and the fifth age of Middle Earth came to pass. And everyone was happy, except for Arwen, and so ended the story. Remember, even drunks can get into Oxford if you've got a pansy elf around!
A/N: Hope you liked it. Look soon for Faramir's TV show, with even more outrageous stuff and craziness. It was great writing this, see you all at another story!
"What the #$% are we going to do about that #$% cliff, &# it!" Elrond says.
"I don't know. Jump?" Pippin says.
"That's about all we can do!"
"O YAVANA, LADY OF THE WOODS, SAVE US NOW!!!" Elrond says.
"Faith won't save us!!" Merry yells.
But suddenly, a massive pink hand, complete with nicely manicure nails, descends from on high and picks up Elrond and those around him. Which is everyone.
"Does this mean that the Great Pumpkin is real, too?" Pippin asks. Suddenly, all goes dark...
Back at Faramir's Basement...
"Whoa. That was freaky."
"Where's Arwen?"
"Shall we get Legolas?"
"What about Aragorn?"
"Would Arwen be smitten from the Valar?"
"My daughter!"
"What's the Valar?"
"Where's my daughter??"
"Shouldn't you have thought of that before you called upon the Valar?"
"What's the Valar?"
"Who cares?"
"What's going on?"
"ARAGORN!!!"
And Aragorn was standing on the stairwell, looking rather confuzzled.
"Where's Arwen?"
"She got sm---."
"SHHH!"
"Sorry, Merry."
"What was that, Pip?"
"Nothing."
"Ok...liar!"
"Ok, let me tell." Elrond says.
Elrond gets up and stands an inch away from Aragorn's face. Not really.
"Ok, mister, my daughter went on a rampage. Clearly you've been neglecting her and have not given a though to what she'll do in those situations. You should have been more responsible!" Elrond says, with that last sentence poking Aragorn very hard in the chest.
"Yeah, buddy? She's your daughter! You should have warned me! But no! What were you..." He pauses to count. "You 6 doing here, anyway? At least, I think there's six."
"Lesson No. 3: Aragorn learns to Count." Boromir says, not at all minding his volume so just about everyone in the basement can hear.
"Hey, punk, shut it!"
"Sorry, my Lord King. Everyone knows I'm the better candidate for King..."
"No, ME!"
"I am!"
"Hey, Aragorn."
"ARWEN!!!"
And after even more pointless screaming, everyone finally got back on track.
And then, Legolas came down the stairs, looking very beat up and abused.
"Hey, everyone." He said, his eyes covered by black and blue marks, and his arms revealing lovely bruises.
"Oh, dear Leggy, I'm sorry for what I did!" Arwen says.
"Really?"
"No."
"..."
"MEDIC!!!" Legolas screams.
Two envelopes come zipping through the air.
"Hey! We got into Oxford!!" Merry and Pippin say.
"That's great."
"We're gonna be smart!!!!!!!!!"
"What about my TV show?" Faramir asks.
Another piece of mail zips through the air.
"Dear Mr. Faramir, your TV show has been moved to a more convenient time slot, starting on the third day of the last week of July, we hope to see your letter of consent, Mr. Harcourt." Faramir reads the letter.
"We're going primetime!!" Boromir screams.
And so it came to pass that the Apocalypse came, although no one really knew it, and the fifth age of Middle Earth came to pass. And everyone was happy, except for Arwen, and so ended the story. Remember, even drunks can get into Oxford if you've got a pansy elf around!
A/N: Hope you liked it. Look soon for Faramir's TV show, with even more outrageous stuff and craziness. It was great writing this, see you all at another story!