As she walks the streets of downtown Cincinnati, she carries them with her. The four men of her life, the memories she depends on so badly.
She cannot bare to let them go, even though she knows that she must if she is going to move on.
As she passes by her new-favorite bookstore, she thinks of Jess. Jess smelled of leather and peppermint, cigarette smoke and Hemmingway. He was her very own James Dean. Jess was a classic.
As she passes by and expensive restaurant, she thinks of Logan. Logan smelled of expensive cologne and champagne. Logan was pure adventure.
She walks by a small grocery, a high school boy stocking the shelves with his young fervor, she thinks of Dean. Dean was sweet. Dean was nice, and good and simple. He smelled of vinegar and popcorn.
Danny pops into her head everyday, at different times. He smelled of newspaper and soap. He was safe, and he was perfect.
She wanted to leave it all at that, but she just couldn't manage.
She's been through the difficult phone calls with Lorelai, the strangled "Where the hell are you!" yelled into her cell phone. She's tried her best to explain herself, and hopes her mother can understand how she was being suffocated. It anyone would understand, she thinks, her mother should.
And she did.
She goes through her life, living within each day, not happy or sad, just there, trying to manage to sort out her feelings. She sees the pitying stares from couples on the street, the looks she gets from restaurant hosts when she says it's just dinner for one. It's an odd feeling; she is so obviously alone, and so obviously pitied. She feels terribly indignant when she sees these things. She is now a single woman now, by choice, and is quickly becoming irked by these assumptions people make. Who says she has to be with someone to be complete? She was a girlfriend for the better part of the last twelve years. She has committed, and loved, and been terribly hurt. She has seen firsthand the way breakups can destroy a person's well-being, and is excited about become a new, singular person. She is okay with it, she wants it, and she is ready. She is ready for anything.
A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review---questions, comments, rants, raves, I want all of it!