I am soo sorry that I took this long, but I got writer's block after last chapter (not to mention I lost the will to write..) But I got a review for an old piece a day ago, and I wanted to write again. I still didn't feel that inspired, but I wanted to write, so, here's the next (and probably last chapter). It's bad, but it's the best I can do. Maybe someday I'll rewrite it, maybe not. I don't know. Anyway, the song lyrics are Mistress by Disturbed.

I still don't own Ronin Warriors, and never well. Enjoy.

Edit: Nix Entente pointed out a grammatical error, which I fixed, other then that, the story is unchanged. Thank you Nix Entente! .

As I stood trying to make my decision about whether to walk or run, my head started pounding again. Best walk. As I did, I tried very hard not to think. But it wasn't working very well. My conversation with Sage kept running through my head. Maybe he really was concerned about me… But… I couldn't go to someone for help. I just couldn't. More then telling him, seeking professional help would mean a form of admittance that some was truly wrong… I shook my head. That only caused it to throb and make me feel dizzy.

When I got home, no one else was. They must have gone out. My parents do that sometimes if they know I'm going out with the guys. Just surradically go out to dinner, or where ever. But I didn't mind. I actually preferred it this way. To come home to an empty house. No questions. No one to watch me. I could do as I wanted- to an extent.

I changed into more comfortable clothes, the kind people wear around the house. I got out my CD player and put in Disturbed's Believe CD. I turned up the volume as loud as I could and let the music drown out everything- all thoughts and sounds.

I stand on the brink of your mind

Living inside a nightmare from which

I can not awaken

I just wanted escape, if only for a little bit. To not have to think about all these things that plagued my mind.

Stand on the edge of your life

Just give me another moment

From which I will never awaken

Sometimes though, I just couldn't help wanting to leave behind all this pain. Permanately.

Stand on the brink of my own demise

Fallen again for another

I've thought about it, but I can never really come up with a sure way to end it all.

Mistress of burden

To idolize

But even as I think about it, I just can't go through with it. I guess it's because I keep hoping things will get better. And, because I fear that, there might actually be someone who cares about me. And my selfish act would hurt them. I keep looking forward, down, but forward. I hope, hold out that someday, I'll be like everyone else, and be free of these thoughts.

Hoping that one of them will decide

To let me in

I don't know how to escape them though. They follow me everywhere. I can't ever stop thinking. But I try to never show what I'm thinking. I put up my mask. No one can see the real me. And yet, I hope that one day, someone will recognize my mask for that, and will want to know me. But… that is hoping for a bit much.

To stand on the edge of the knife

Cutting through the nightmare from which

I just cannot awaken

Even so, that hope has kept me from actually cutting. That, and the fact that I don' know what I'd do if someone saw the scars that they'd leave. Sometimes, I've wondered what it would feel like… if maybe the pain from slicing my skin open, would block out this pain in my head. I can never fully grasp the origin of my emotional pain, but, I can understand physical pain. Anyone can.

Stand on the edge of the night

Living inside a moment

From which I will never awaken

I look up at the vast sky above. It is so large. And I am so small. What significance could I have? I look down at the razor in my hand. If my parents don't get home for a while, then I'd have time. But I don't know when they'll get back. And I don't want to live after having people know.

Look at what you've done to me

You've become my enemy

Poisoning the world for me

Take away my everything

Weakened as I am

I sigh heavily and continue staring at the blades of the razor. It truly is amazing how we can be our own worst enemy. In reality, we and we alone have the ability to destroy ourselves. My mind has destroyed me. I have no will left in me. No real will to fight for a life that I might have known. I'm too tired of life to struggle. I'm just too stuck on the auto pilot of self-destruction.

There is no point to continue on, is there? I thought back to my conversation with Sage earlier. My being around would only burden him. He shouldn't have to deal with my problems. Problems that will never go away. Not until I die. And problems were meant to be solved.

I hold the solution in my hand, I just need to have the courage to take action.

Okay, it was bad, real bad. --

I would, though, like to thank: Arista Niara, zorra, and Effigy for reviewing for the last chapter.