Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they belong to Gerry Anderson and Carlton Television.

Fading like the stars

John looked out at the stars and sighed.

Normally he loved the vast emptiness of space and the wonders that it held, but today he was preoccupied with his thoughts. He knew that he was part of the biggest rescue organisation in the world, possibly one of the most insignificant parts, but still a part.

He had been up on Thunderbird 5 for at least 3 months now due to Alan spraining his leg on a rescue mission. He was tired of the vast emptiness of space and yearned for human contact, even being the butt of one of Gordon's practical jokes would be better than being stuck up here by himself. He sighed again, and turned away from the view that thunderbird five had to offer. He restlessly paced the floor, keeping an eye on the instruments, yet at the same time being immersed in his own thoughts.

The beep of the comm. channel awakened him from his reverie and he immediately walked over to the panel.

"International Rescue"

"Yo John! How's it hangin?" John had to smile at the way Gordon greeted him, no matter his mood, Gordon could always manage to raise a smile. "Hey Gordo, how ya doin?" he replied. "Well," said Gordon, a wicked smile on his face, " I don't think that I'm in Scott's good books at the moment….I sort of told him that his fashion sense sucked"

At this, John laughed, Scott was liked to pride himself on his clothes and insulting his clothes was one of the things that was guaranteed to annoy him, and Gordon being Gordon used this as much as possible. They chatted about all the usual things after that, stars, football, baseball and just as they were getting ready to sign off, Gordon looked at John, serious for once. "We all miss you John, don't forget that. I know that it must be so boring for you up there, but Alan's almost recovered from his leg sprain now so you can come down soon. You don't know how everyone's looking forward to seeing you, I think grandmas already planning the feast! I miss you, John" and with that, Gordon was gone and John was left with the blank screen.

He sighed as he got up. Of all his brothers he was closest to Gordon. Scott was the one you went to for advice, Virgil was a great listener, Alan was good at making plans of action, but Gordon was the one that John felt he could talk to about anything. He missed his brothers and the rest of his family but he missed Gordon more than most. Knowing that he wouldn't be able to escape his thoughts of home, he went to bed, hoping that his dreams would provide escape.

A few hours later John woke in a cold sweat. Instead of the escape he had hoped for, he had been plunged into a nightmare. He had essentially recreated Gordon's Hydrofoil accident from what Gordon had told him. He had been stood there, helpless and unable to do everything as Gordon had been thrown around. He sat up, surprised to find tears pricking the back of his lids. He really couldn't wait to get home and check up on his family. As he looked at his watch, he realised that this three hours was the most he had slept for a while. Knowing from experience that he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep he staggered into the kitchen area. His head was pounding and there were spots in front of his vision. Putting it down to his nightmare he decided to call Gordon again, just in case his dream had been a premonition and also just for the company.

Within minutes Gordon was on the vid-screen, looking concerned. He had been worried about Johns appearance when they had spoke earlier and was considering asking his father if John could come down earlier, and was even considering offering to take Johns place, which showed how concerned he was, Gordon hated the emptiness of space. Now he was more than concerned, John was haggard, pale and thin. Gordon felt like he was talking to a corpse and decided that no matter what, John was coming home. Showing nothing of what he was thinking, he kept his tone light. "Are you alright, John?" John gave a weak smile and opened his mouth to speak. Before he could say anything his eyes rolled up and his knees buckled. He hit the floor hard, where he lay there pale and unmoving.