Disclaimer: Not mine!
Warnings: Damn, where to start?! Mention of gory-yuckiness, making Yugi crazy because it amuses me... Yup, that and all the other stuff from other chapters.
Author: Koneko Shido
A/N: My last chapter! After this, the fic is being handed over to Kuro no Hoshi to write more on. Go read her fics 'Confined Spaces' and the new one, 'Overwhelming'. Yup, 'tis good! Anyhow, in this chapter I randomly decided that, since it's my last QT, I'm going to send the poor bishis off to therapy. Hee.
BTW, the song is 'Bring your Daughter to the Slaughter' by Iron Maiden. If anyone cares. ;;
Question Time 25
Bakura: singing... Bring your daughter to the slaughter, let her go, let her go, let her goooo!!!
Ryou: Shut up?
Bakura: And-
Ryou: Now?!
Bakura: But I have this song stuck in my head!
Ryou: How would you like an ICE PICK stuck in your head??
Bakura: Is that a trick question?
Ryou: ...
Bakura: Well, somebody fell out of the wrong side of the bed.
Ryou: ...? What? Oh, shut up, you white haired idiot.
Bakura: But you have white hair-
Ryou: Shut up, I don't care.
Bakura: Why are you so bitchy today then? Did you run out of Weetabix again?
Ryou: No, and the only reason I ran out last time was because you decided to build a sculpture of a whale out of it on the dining room table!! Life sized!!
Bakura: Heheh. That was fun.
Ryou: I'm still getting over finding Pegasus in the bath. Naked, might I add. There are some things a person is never, ever meant to see, and Pegasus naked is most definitely one of them.
Bakura: So why are you being even more bitchy than usual today? Is it because of the therapy thing?
Ryou: Am I supposed to be happy about that??
Bakura: But it'll be fun!! And everyone else is going, you get to see how crazy all your stupid friends are!
Ryou: I already know how crazy they are, that's why I'm not looking forward to this. Even Kaiba is going to be there!
Bakura: Hee. Kaiba's the biggest headcase of all.
Ryou: No, that would be you.
Bakura: I'm not crazy! Well... alright, you have me there. But Kaiba is definitely in need of a head doctor. Can anyone say 'brother complex'? And what the hell is with that stupid coat? And did you know he argues with his inner child? And he wears belts on his feet.
Ryou: Well, Yami and Yugi wear belts around their necks, why aren't you upset about that?
Bakura: Good strangling opportunity. That's a point, imagine how stupid the pharaoh would look if his tomb read: 'great pharaoh whatever, strangled by his own idiotic neck belt'. Heheh. 'Also buried here, pharaoh's underage-looking sex-toy.'
Ryou: I assume you mean Yugi?
Bakura: nodnod Yeah, that thing.
Ryou: Yugi is not a thing, he's a-
Bakura; When's everyone else getting here? I'm bored. Can I have some more coffee? Where's Frankensnakie? Can I bring him to the therapy thingy with me? Will you sit next to me? I don't want to sit next to the pharaoh. Will you let me tie Anzu to the back of a car yet? Or even better, I could push her in front of a train! Or cover her in meat paste and throw her into the tiger cage at the zoo! Hmm, but how would I get her past the guards...?
Ryou: I can't believe you're actually seriously thinking about how you could do that.
Bakura: I could cut her up first, and put her in bags...
Ryou: I need a cup of tea...
Bakura: Coffee!
Ryou: No, tea.
Bakura: But tea is for girls!
Ryou: Die!!
Bakura: staring at the teacup that just slammed into the wall next to his head and shattered into a million pieces Ooookay then.
Ryou: How dare you insult the tea! Say sorry, you evil bastard!!
Bakura: Say sorry to the tea? I thought I was the insane one? Is this why you're coming to therapy with us? You have 'tea isssues'. Heheheh. That's such a girly thing to have issues about.
Ryou: Will you stop calling me girly?!
Bakura: But you are girly.
Ryou: I don't care!!
Bakura: You screech like a girl, too.
Ryou: Argh!!
[At the therapy session, in the waiting room]
Marik: Why are we here?
Malik: We're going to see a head doctor.
Marik: Why?
Yugi: We all have issues!
Marik: We do?
Kaiba: Apparently.
Jou: I don't have issues. pout
Marik: Dog.
Jou: I'M NOT A DOG!!!
Kaiba: And that would be your share of the issues. I still don't see why I should be here.
Bakura: Where's Mokuba?
Kaiba: At school. With three bodyguards, constant surveillance, a cell phone and a gun. I also have him bugged.
Bakura: cough-freak-cough
Ryou: slap Be nice.
Bakura: I can't. It goes against my religion.
Ryou: And don't lie! You'll go to hell!
Bakura: I can't stop lying, I'm a compulsive liar. Wait... I just told the truth... Does that mean I'm not a compulsive liar? But I lie about everything else... Oww, my brain!
Ryou: Shut up. Stop confusing yourself, you'll only make them think you're even more insane.
Bakura: Than who?
Ryou: Good point.
Yami: Well, at least I'm sane. That's nice to know.
Bakura: snort
Marik: cackle
Malik: You're sane? Since when? Did you get that egomania fixed, then?
Yami: Shut up, Fruit Loop, before I re-introduce your nice shiny motorbike to the business end of my puzzle.
Malik: HARLEY-CHAN!! NO!!!
Ryou: sigh We're not even in therapy yet...
Yugi: blinkblink
Bakura: Ryou! Make it stop blinking at me! Eyes! Argh! Bushbaby!
Yugi: blink What?
Ryou: Ignore him. I do.
Yugi: Ok then!
Doctor: Alright, we're ready for you. Please step right this way.
Ryou: I forsee this going badly...
Doctor: Alright, let's see. We have... Ryou Bakura, Ryou Bakura's evil twin, Yugi Motou, Yugi Motou's not-so-evil twin, Malik Ishtar, Malik Ishtar's very evil twin, Seto Kaiba and Jounouchi Katsuya. Is that all?
Ryou: Otogi would be here, but Bakura won't tell me where he's hidden him.
Doctor: Uh... alright then...
Bakura: grin He's looking after Frankensnakie for me.
Doctor: Frankensnakie?
Bakura: My pet. I made him.
Doctor: You made him? Out of what?
Bakura: Other people's pets. I like to make things. I'm very creative.
Ryou: shudder
Doctor: I...see. Alright, today we're all here to assess your state of mental health. Let's start with you, Malik. Tell me, what do you see here? holds up inkblot
Malik: My motorbike.
Doctor: And this one?
Malik: My motorbike under a tree.
Doctor: And.. this one?
Malik: A cloud shaped like my motorbike.
Doctor: This one here?
Malik: That's... Argh! The pharaoh scratching my motorbike! No!! Waaaaah!!! clings to Marik
Marik: petpet Harley-chan is ok, we locked it up in the garage, remember?
Malik: sniffle She's ok?
Marik: nodnod
Malik: Promise? puppy eyes
Marik: nodnodnod
Doctor: Alright, I think we've established what your problem is. How about we move on to you, Marik. What do you see in this inkblot?
Marik: Ink.
Doctor: Other than the ink.
Marik: Paper?
Doctor: No, I mean what does the shape of the ink remind you of?
Marik: Well... It's the same kind of shape you get if you drop a bucket full of blood off a building, I guess...
Bakura: Nah, it's more like when you hang someone up and slash them open, and their blood drips on Ryou's white carpet.
Marik: Oh yeah, it is more like that.
Ryou: sigh
Doctor: Uh... Right. Let's move on to you, Kaiba. What do you see here? Holds up another inkblot
Kaiba: Mokuba.
Doctor: And here?
Kaiba: A dog.
Jou: I'M NOT A DOG!!!
Doctor: ...?
Kaiba: Ignore him. He's having an identity crisis at the moment.
Doctor: Very well then... What do you see here?
Kaiba: Me beating Yami into the ground at Duel Monsters. glares at Yami
Yami: sticks out tongue He can't beat me because I'm superior. It makes him do stupid things like threaten to jump off buildings.
Kaiba: That wasn't-
Doctor: Hmm, I see. I shall have to look into this further at some point. I'll book you in for another session next week, Mr. Kaiba.
Kaiba: What?!
Yami: smirk
Kaiba: glare
Doctor: Alright, now what about you, Jounouchi? What do you see here?
Jou: A collar.
Doctor: And here?
Jou: A leash.
Doctor: Here?
Jou: Dog biscuits.
Doctor: Ahem Ok, I think we've established that you have problems with being called a dog, yes?
Jou: Yeah, well it's only 'cause he calls me that all the time! points at Kaiba
Kaiba: But you are a dog.
Jou: I'm not a dog!
Kaiba: I think you'll find you are.
Jou: I'm not!! And you're one to talk, you nympho! If I weren't sleeping with you I'd-
Kaiba: Be sleeping in a kennel?
Jou: ARGH!! tearing at hair I'm not a dog!!!
Doctor: Quite. Now, what about you, Yami? What do you see in this inkblot?
Yami: Me, beating Kaiba at Duel Monsters. smirk
Kaiba: growl
Doctor: Fine. And here?
Yami: Me beating everyone else at Duel Monsters.
Doctor: Alright... This one?
Yami: Me saving everyone all the time.
Doctor: Ok...
Kaiba: You don't save everyone all the time, you useless washed-up pathetic-
Yami: La, la, la, I can't hear you. fingers in ears
Bakura: pout He stole that from me.
Doctor: Lovely... Ok, now let's move on to you, Yugi. What do you see in this inkblot?
Yugi: blinkblink A bunny? Is it a bunny? bounce
Doctor: It's whatever you want it to be.
Yugi: I want it to be a bunny!
Doctor: And is it a bunny?
Yugi: No, it still looks like a huge monster with a thousand teeth and black eyes of death. Aww, I wanted it to be a bunny.
Yami: patpat
Doctor:...This one?
Yugi: Is this one a bunny? Because it looks more like a man with no head lying in a pool of blood.
Bakura: Cool. Can I have that one?
Doctor: blink Uh... What about this one, Yugi?
Yugi: That one sort of looks like a bunny... In a vat of acid, screaming... Don't you have any nice pictures?
Doctor: Um... Let's move on. Ryou, what do you see here?
Ryou: Bakura destroying my house.
Doctor: And here?
Ryou: Bakura killing all the neighbourhood pets.
Doctor: Here?
Ryou: Me murdering Bakura in his sleep.
Bakura: Aww, I love you too, Ryou-chan!
Ryou: twitch
Doctor: Indeed. Bakura, what do you see in this inkblot?
Bakura: Err... A bunny?
Yugi: Really? Where? staring at inkblot Aww, that doesn't look like a bunny, it just looks like someone with their legs sawn off.
Bakura: It does? Hey, you're right, it does. Hmm.
Doctor: Uh... This one?
Bakura: The pharaoh getting attacked by a crazy guy with a chainsaw. Oh wait, that's me. Heheh.
Yami: glare
Doctor: Um... this one?
Bakura: That one looks like that cat from next door after I skinned it.
Ryou: shiver
Doctor:...That's...nice. Alright, I think we've pretty much gotten past the fact that you all need serious help.
Kaiba: You'll be hearing from my lawyer.
Marik: Do we have a lawyer, hikari?
Malik: No, we set his wife on fire and he quit, remember?
Marik: No?
Malik: We don't have one. We should get a new one, that guy says we're insane. points at doctor
Marik: We are insane.
Malik: ...We are?
Marik: Very.
Malik: Oh.
Doctor: Alright... That concludes the therapy session for today, please collect your next appointment dates on the way out.
Bakura: snort Like hell.
Ryou: Oh, you're going.
Bakura: But Ryou! whine I'm not crazy!
Ryou: I beg to differ.
Bakura: Meanie.
TBC
That sort of trailed off near the end, but yeah... that's the last Question Time chapter I'm writing! sniffle All the rest of the chapters from this point on are by Kuro no Hoshi, go read her fics!! And go read my other ones on nfiction . com (take out spaces...ffn are evil.)! And do your homework, brush your teeth and don't kill anyone after reading this because it'll probably get blamed on me... yeah. I'll just go over here and be quiet now. Review!
Warnings: Damn, where to start?! Mention of gory-yuckiness, making Yugi crazy because it amuses me... Yup, that and all the other stuff from other chapters.
Author: Koneko Shido
A/N: My last chapter! After this, the fic is being handed over to Kuro no Hoshi to write more on. Go read her fics 'Confined Spaces' and the new one, 'Overwhelming'. Yup, 'tis good! Anyhow, in this chapter I randomly decided that, since it's my last QT, I'm going to send the poor bishis off to therapy. Hee.
BTW, the song is 'Bring your Daughter to the Slaughter' by Iron Maiden. If anyone cares. ;;
Question Time 25
Bakura: singing... Bring your daughter to the slaughter, let her go, let her go, let her goooo!!!
Ryou: Shut up?
Bakura: And-
Ryou: Now?!
Bakura: But I have this song stuck in my head!
Ryou: How would you like an ICE PICK stuck in your head??
Bakura: Is that a trick question?
Ryou: ...
Bakura: Well, somebody fell out of the wrong side of the bed.
Ryou: ...? What? Oh, shut up, you white haired idiot.
Bakura: But you have white hair-
Ryou: Shut up, I don't care.
Bakura: Why are you so bitchy today then? Did you run out of Weetabix again?
Ryou: No, and the only reason I ran out last time was because you decided to build a sculpture of a whale out of it on the dining room table!! Life sized!!
Bakura: Heheh. That was fun.
Ryou: I'm still getting over finding Pegasus in the bath. Naked, might I add. There are some things a person is never, ever meant to see, and Pegasus naked is most definitely one of them.
Bakura: So why are you being even more bitchy than usual today? Is it because of the therapy thing?
Ryou: Am I supposed to be happy about that??
Bakura: But it'll be fun!! And everyone else is going, you get to see how crazy all your stupid friends are!
Ryou: I already know how crazy they are, that's why I'm not looking forward to this. Even Kaiba is going to be there!
Bakura: Hee. Kaiba's the biggest headcase of all.
Ryou: No, that would be you.
Bakura: I'm not crazy! Well... alright, you have me there. But Kaiba is definitely in need of a head doctor. Can anyone say 'brother complex'? And what the hell is with that stupid coat? And did you know he argues with his inner child? And he wears belts on his feet.
Ryou: Well, Yami and Yugi wear belts around their necks, why aren't you upset about that?
Bakura: Good strangling opportunity. That's a point, imagine how stupid the pharaoh would look if his tomb read: 'great pharaoh whatever, strangled by his own idiotic neck belt'. Heheh. 'Also buried here, pharaoh's underage-looking sex-toy.'
Ryou: I assume you mean Yugi?
Bakura: nodnod Yeah, that thing.
Ryou: Yugi is not a thing, he's a-
Bakura; When's everyone else getting here? I'm bored. Can I have some more coffee? Where's Frankensnakie? Can I bring him to the therapy thingy with me? Will you sit next to me? I don't want to sit next to the pharaoh. Will you let me tie Anzu to the back of a car yet? Or even better, I could push her in front of a train! Or cover her in meat paste and throw her into the tiger cage at the zoo! Hmm, but how would I get her past the guards...?
Ryou: I can't believe you're actually seriously thinking about how you could do that.
Bakura: I could cut her up first, and put her in bags...
Ryou: I need a cup of tea...
Bakura: Coffee!
Ryou: No, tea.
Bakura: But tea is for girls!
Ryou: Die!!
Bakura: staring at the teacup that just slammed into the wall next to his head and shattered into a million pieces Ooookay then.
Ryou: How dare you insult the tea! Say sorry, you evil bastard!!
Bakura: Say sorry to the tea? I thought I was the insane one? Is this why you're coming to therapy with us? You have 'tea isssues'. Heheheh. That's such a girly thing to have issues about.
Ryou: Will you stop calling me girly?!
Bakura: But you are girly.
Ryou: I don't care!!
Bakura: You screech like a girl, too.
Ryou: Argh!!
[At the therapy session, in the waiting room]
Marik: Why are we here?
Malik: We're going to see a head doctor.
Marik: Why?
Yugi: We all have issues!
Marik: We do?
Kaiba: Apparently.
Jou: I don't have issues. pout
Marik: Dog.
Jou: I'M NOT A DOG!!!
Kaiba: And that would be your share of the issues. I still don't see why I should be here.
Bakura: Where's Mokuba?
Kaiba: At school. With three bodyguards, constant surveillance, a cell phone and a gun. I also have him bugged.
Bakura: cough-freak-cough
Ryou: slap Be nice.
Bakura: I can't. It goes against my religion.
Ryou: And don't lie! You'll go to hell!
Bakura: I can't stop lying, I'm a compulsive liar. Wait... I just told the truth... Does that mean I'm not a compulsive liar? But I lie about everything else... Oww, my brain!
Ryou: Shut up. Stop confusing yourself, you'll only make them think you're even more insane.
Bakura: Than who?
Ryou: Good point.
Yami: Well, at least I'm sane. That's nice to know.
Bakura: snort
Marik: cackle
Malik: You're sane? Since when? Did you get that egomania fixed, then?
Yami: Shut up, Fruit Loop, before I re-introduce your nice shiny motorbike to the business end of my puzzle.
Malik: HARLEY-CHAN!! NO!!!
Ryou: sigh We're not even in therapy yet...
Yugi: blinkblink
Bakura: Ryou! Make it stop blinking at me! Eyes! Argh! Bushbaby!
Yugi: blink What?
Ryou: Ignore him. I do.
Yugi: Ok then!
Doctor: Alright, we're ready for you. Please step right this way.
Ryou: I forsee this going badly...
Doctor: Alright, let's see. We have... Ryou Bakura, Ryou Bakura's evil twin, Yugi Motou, Yugi Motou's not-so-evil twin, Malik Ishtar, Malik Ishtar's very evil twin, Seto Kaiba and Jounouchi Katsuya. Is that all?
Ryou: Otogi would be here, but Bakura won't tell me where he's hidden him.
Doctor: Uh... alright then...
Bakura: grin He's looking after Frankensnakie for me.
Doctor: Frankensnakie?
Bakura: My pet. I made him.
Doctor: You made him? Out of what?
Bakura: Other people's pets. I like to make things. I'm very creative.
Ryou: shudder
Doctor: I...see. Alright, today we're all here to assess your state of mental health. Let's start with you, Malik. Tell me, what do you see here? holds up inkblot
Malik: My motorbike.
Doctor: And this one?
Malik: My motorbike under a tree.
Doctor: And.. this one?
Malik: A cloud shaped like my motorbike.
Doctor: This one here?
Malik: That's... Argh! The pharaoh scratching my motorbike! No!! Waaaaah!!! clings to Marik
Marik: petpet Harley-chan is ok, we locked it up in the garage, remember?
Malik: sniffle She's ok?
Marik: nodnod
Malik: Promise? puppy eyes
Marik: nodnodnod
Doctor: Alright, I think we've established what your problem is. How about we move on to you, Marik. What do you see in this inkblot?
Marik: Ink.
Doctor: Other than the ink.
Marik: Paper?
Doctor: No, I mean what does the shape of the ink remind you of?
Marik: Well... It's the same kind of shape you get if you drop a bucket full of blood off a building, I guess...
Bakura: Nah, it's more like when you hang someone up and slash them open, and their blood drips on Ryou's white carpet.
Marik: Oh yeah, it is more like that.
Ryou: sigh
Doctor: Uh... Right. Let's move on to you, Kaiba. What do you see here? Holds up another inkblot
Kaiba: Mokuba.
Doctor: And here?
Kaiba: A dog.
Jou: I'M NOT A DOG!!!
Doctor: ...?
Kaiba: Ignore him. He's having an identity crisis at the moment.
Doctor: Very well then... What do you see here?
Kaiba: Me beating Yami into the ground at Duel Monsters. glares at Yami
Yami: sticks out tongue He can't beat me because I'm superior. It makes him do stupid things like threaten to jump off buildings.
Kaiba: That wasn't-
Doctor: Hmm, I see. I shall have to look into this further at some point. I'll book you in for another session next week, Mr. Kaiba.
Kaiba: What?!
Yami: smirk
Kaiba: glare
Doctor: Alright, now what about you, Jounouchi? What do you see here?
Jou: A collar.
Doctor: And here?
Jou: A leash.
Doctor: Here?
Jou: Dog biscuits.
Doctor: Ahem Ok, I think we've established that you have problems with being called a dog, yes?
Jou: Yeah, well it's only 'cause he calls me that all the time! points at Kaiba
Kaiba: But you are a dog.
Jou: I'm not a dog!
Kaiba: I think you'll find you are.
Jou: I'm not!! And you're one to talk, you nympho! If I weren't sleeping with you I'd-
Kaiba: Be sleeping in a kennel?
Jou: ARGH!! tearing at hair I'm not a dog!!!
Doctor: Quite. Now, what about you, Yami? What do you see in this inkblot?
Yami: Me, beating Kaiba at Duel Monsters. smirk
Kaiba: growl
Doctor: Fine. And here?
Yami: Me beating everyone else at Duel Monsters.
Doctor: Alright... This one?
Yami: Me saving everyone all the time.
Doctor: Ok...
Kaiba: You don't save everyone all the time, you useless washed-up pathetic-
Yami: La, la, la, I can't hear you. fingers in ears
Bakura: pout He stole that from me.
Doctor: Lovely... Ok, now let's move on to you, Yugi. What do you see in this inkblot?
Yugi: blinkblink A bunny? Is it a bunny? bounce
Doctor: It's whatever you want it to be.
Yugi: I want it to be a bunny!
Doctor: And is it a bunny?
Yugi: No, it still looks like a huge monster with a thousand teeth and black eyes of death. Aww, I wanted it to be a bunny.
Yami: patpat
Doctor:...This one?
Yugi: Is this one a bunny? Because it looks more like a man with no head lying in a pool of blood.
Bakura: Cool. Can I have that one?
Doctor: blink Uh... What about this one, Yugi?
Yugi: That one sort of looks like a bunny... In a vat of acid, screaming... Don't you have any nice pictures?
Doctor: Um... Let's move on. Ryou, what do you see here?
Ryou: Bakura destroying my house.
Doctor: And here?
Ryou: Bakura killing all the neighbourhood pets.
Doctor: Here?
Ryou: Me murdering Bakura in his sleep.
Bakura: Aww, I love you too, Ryou-chan!
Ryou: twitch
Doctor: Indeed. Bakura, what do you see in this inkblot?
Bakura: Err... A bunny?
Yugi: Really? Where? staring at inkblot Aww, that doesn't look like a bunny, it just looks like someone with their legs sawn off.
Bakura: It does? Hey, you're right, it does. Hmm.
Doctor: Uh... This one?
Bakura: The pharaoh getting attacked by a crazy guy with a chainsaw. Oh wait, that's me. Heheh.
Yami: glare
Doctor: Um... this one?
Bakura: That one looks like that cat from next door after I skinned it.
Ryou: shiver
Doctor:...That's...nice. Alright, I think we've pretty much gotten past the fact that you all need serious help.
Kaiba: You'll be hearing from my lawyer.
Marik: Do we have a lawyer, hikari?
Malik: No, we set his wife on fire and he quit, remember?
Marik: No?
Malik: We don't have one. We should get a new one, that guy says we're insane. points at doctor
Marik: We are insane.
Malik: ...We are?
Marik: Very.
Malik: Oh.
Doctor: Alright... That concludes the therapy session for today, please collect your next appointment dates on the way out.
Bakura: snort Like hell.
Ryou: Oh, you're going.
Bakura: But Ryou! whine I'm not crazy!
Ryou: I beg to differ.
Bakura: Meanie.
TBC
That sort of trailed off near the end, but yeah... that's the last Question Time chapter I'm writing! sniffle All the rest of the chapters from this point on are by Kuro no Hoshi, go read her fics!! And go read my other ones on nfiction . com (take out spaces...ffn are evil.)! And do your homework, brush your teeth and don't kill anyone after reading this because it'll probably get blamed on me... yeah. I'll just go over here and be quiet now. Review!