I'm Not There

Somewhere…

40-year-old Seth, with his tie loosened and his hair ruffled from a rather long journey, sat inside a waiting room—in what looked to be an old train station, filled with a variety of people…old and thin, young and fat, middle-aged and pretty, bros and hos…

Seth's countenance was simultaneously serene and somber. A thousand thoughts rushed through his brain, but he paid no heed to them and consented to continue their chaos in his brain. In fact, it was as if Seth was in a certain locked gaze that could have continued until eternity, had his name not been called out.

The best way to describe the man who called for Seth was that he astonishingly resembled Morgan Freeman. The two carried on their meeting inside the man's office.

This man, whose name was Jude, had the uncanny ability to instantaneously connect with anyone in the station. Of course this ability had its limitations and these limitations came in the form of Seth.

Jude knew this and decided to cut the obligatory small talk and opened and thick manila folder filled with legal-sized paper.

"You think that we'd go digital by now, right? I mean, if you think about it, we could have gone digital before the world went digital," Jude joked.

Seth smiled a little.

"I was never one for successfully delivering jokes, even I didn't get that one," Jude explained. "Anyway…you know why you're here, right?"

"The time's up."

Jude looked at the paperwork in front of him. "Well, it looks like it's been up twice." Jude poured himself some whiskey straight.

"I didn't know angels could drink."

Jude laughed. "Well, first off, I'm not an angel. Or better yet, I'm an angel in one language, an enlightened monk in others." He began pouring Seth a glass. "I think a TV show on Showtime once described me as 'undead'." Seth took a drink of the whiskey. "You're not doing too well, are you kid? Would you rather not be here?"

Seth shook his head. "It's not about not wanting to be here. It's about not being there."

Jude nodded in agreement. "I can't…I'm sorry…"

Seth nodded back, "I know."

"You know, even God can't do anything about it. It's why we beat ourselves up every day about our jobs. If we could let people go on living forever, we would, you know?" Jude tried to connect with Seth.

"Pardon the French, but that's bullshit. How did I get a second chance? I mean I get the whole 'I had unfinished business to take care of' deal, but why couldn't I stay?" Seth questioned frustratingly.

"I want you to think of people's lives like a complex math equation. In the end, there's always a solution and sometimes those solutions mean long and miserable lives or short and happy ones. Somewhere in your equation and sometimes in others…a mistake is made…things don't add up…and we send you back to fix it. Once it's fixed, the equation works like anyone else's and your time ends just like everyone else."

Seth stood up in frustration. "What is this place?"

"To put it simply, we're the interstitial to your final destination…a pit stop."

"Why do I need a pit stop?"

"Because two things need to happen to people before they get to their final destination. The first is to come to terms. The second is to find your happiest memory."

Seth, who had been pacing around the room, suddenly stopped. "Why?"

Jude leaned back. "Well, to put it simply, the final destination involves you getting to live in your happiest memory forever."

"That's heaven?"

"If you'd like to call it that."

"How long do I have to figure it out?"

"Until whenever."

"What if I don't know what that is?"

Jude smiled. "Everyone figures it out eventually. Some people are in this station for five minutes, while others are in here for five years…but that's what I'm here for."

"So you're my post-life psychologist?"

"I guess."

"How many of these are there?"

"Thousands."

"And you've never had a person not have a favorite memory?" Seth inquired.

"Never."

Seth sat back down and thought back to what had happened years ago, when he was revealed to Summer…