The Ten Plagues of Malfoy

Chapter 1 That'll Be a Fucking Deal Then

A/N Now the beginning here is reminiscent of Four Wedding and a Funeral – it's full of fucks.  Now I wrote this because I like the idea, read and review my people.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck.  Why the fuck is there someone in my bed?  Where the fuck are my fucking glasses?  Hang on this isn't even my fucking room, so who the fuck are you?  I bet that I'm fucking late, and I bet that my fucking friends didn't even notice.  Fuckity fuck."

"Harry calm down."

"Wait I know that fucking voice, holy fuck, why the fuck are you in my bed?  No why the fuck am I in your fucking bed?"

"Harry,"

"Don't fucking call me that."

"Harry, we were drunk."

"Obviously."

"Oh, so you can talk without swearing."

"Shut up and give me my glasses."

"Not until I tell you what happened."

"Go on then."

"Last night at the ball we got totally pissed, somehow we ended up dancing together.  When Dumbledore told us all to go to bed Ginny arranged some food from the kitchens for a party in the tower.  Instead of going you begged me to bring you here, to my room.  After about an hour of persuasion I shagged you."

"You did what, I persuaded you to do what?"

"Shag you, I've wanted to do it for a while but I never knew that you felt the same way."

"I'm sorry?"

"I love you Harry."

"Excuse me?"

"I thought that after what you said last night that you did too."

"I never make sense when I'm drunk, and I've picked up a lot of people that way and none of them have ever lasted any longer than a night.  Let alone the morning as well."

"I'm just a one night stand?"

"Yes, you get added to the Potter Prize list, another weak one that I've conquered."

"Weak?  Conquered?"

"Yep, I've had almost every girl and guy in this place and I am no closer to finding a proper partner."

"Maybe I can prove it to you; I'll prove that it's me."

"How the fuck are you going to do that then?"

"Everyday I will send you something, something that you will love, something beautiful or moving, something that will make you want me, and mostly something that will remind you of me."

"Sure thing."

"You'll let me do that?"

"Sure, you have ten days to plague me, ten 'gifts' after then if I want you then you will get a gift of your own."

"Thank you Harry."

"Now give me my glasses."

"There you go."

"Whatever Malfoy."

A/N you know the drill read and now review - only if you want to though.