Hoenn Poems
Rated: T (PG-13) for language
Genre: Poetry/Humor/Parody
Last Revision: 1/29/09
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon and/or any related characters whatsoever.
Anyway, Breezy here - no actually this is Shimiki, the amazing talking and typing banana. Sarcasm by the way if you're too dense to get it. :3
Something I've noticed amongst Brendan and May stories is that they hold the same theme (I include myself in this). Either it's an adventure 'fic with Brendan and May traveling together, some shipping 'fic that makes NO sense whatever, Brendan doing something stupid for May, and so on. And because I'm a real meany, I decided to make fun of it all! :D
In other words, this is a parody. So if you don't like seeing this shipping being made fun of, don't read anything past the line. The line starts there, see it? Yeah, that brown things below this rant. All righty. Breezy's done - I mean Shimiki, the amazing talking and typing banana, is done.
Like a river to an ocean,
From the shoreline to the sea,
I am connected to you.
You set my spirits free.
- - -
Your dark-blue eyes they sparkle
when you smile, when you laugh.
But when your eyes direct at me,
All I can say is, "Crap!"
- - -
I love the way your hair blows back
when your stand against the wind.
Your smile is a mile wide
which always makes me grin.
- - -
But I hate the way you treat me,
Like I'm a piece of shit.
You throw punches at me,
you give your tantrum fits.
- - -
I don't know why I love you
when you don't love me back.
You call me hateful nicknames,
And think I'm high on crack.
- - -
So I try my best to please you
by giving you things and stuff.
But, in thanks, you slap me hard,
But you know I haven't had enough.
- - -
Remember when I told you
that I want to be more than friends?
Damn, your eyes got big and scary,
And your forehead turned all red.
- - -
So in return you kicked me,
Right square on the shin,
Wow that really frickin' hurt!
That has got to be a sin.
- - -
But yet I'm still in love with you
though you like to spit in my face.
You call me a crazy, white-haired freak
and also a disgrace.
- - -
Do you still have that flower
that I gave you that special day?
When you told me to get a life
and to get away?
- - -
I remember when you told
the police that you had a stalker.
Wow, I almost peed in my pants!
That was really quite a shocker.
- - -
This one I remember very well
when you told Blaziken to attack.
Damn, she got me really good,
I almost broke my back!
- - -
Latios, I just recalled
when you pushed me in the mud.
But I think of it as a sign,
A special sign of love.
- - -
Perhaps I am just jealous,
For one day you'll be gone.
Let it be a decade from now,
Or tomorrow's dawn.
- - -
So when other boys are around you,
I tackle them on the grass,
I punch the daylights out of 'em,
I kick their bony ass.
- - -
But you don't even thank me,
For all the things I've done.
You DO kick me in the balls
and all I say is, "Fun ..."
- - -
So now I feel a hatred
buried deep inside my chest.
Oh wait. That's just probably just some gas,
Never mind. I lied. I confess.
- - -
You say you don't love me,
And you try to push me away.
But I think you really like it,
That's why I always stay.
- - -
I think she really likes me,
I really hope she does.
"Why?" you curious reader ask.
Well, you see, because ...
- - -
People call me obsessive,
But I tell 'em to piss off.
I'm gonna bow down to my shrine,
So go away; sod off!
So, bad or good? I usually don't write poems. Sorry if you got offended by some things. (smiles innocently)
LaTeR dAyZ!