Chapter 8: Disharmony of Four
"I can't believe your doing this Morgan. I can't believe your leaving us! You know how much your mother needs you here!"
Father and son stood at opposite ends of the room, their voices rattling the windowpanes of the floating castle.
Morgan stood nearest the door, his long brown overcoat covering the plain attire he insisted on wearing and a clean new suitcase in his hand. He had the long, thin look of someone caught in that awkward stage between the teenage years and adulthood. He had messy ginger hair standing on end and his blue eyes were pleading.
"No, Dad. This is where I make my choice. I can't stay here anymore. I can't live like this. I need to go where I'm needed."
"You're needed here! Your mother…" Howl looked desperate, his blond hair was dishevelled, streaks of grey and white showing in at the roots.
"Will be fine!" the young man bellowed. He straitened up, an unusual act for him. "She has you, doesn't she? And the girls are still here. God, even Elizabeth! Do you know how much she wants to stay with you? Do you even know how much she could help? She has some of the strongest healing magic I have ever felt, but you don't see that do you? She's always going to be the baby to you. It used to be sweet Dad, but she's 12 years old now. She doesn't need your coddling."
"We are NOT talking about Elizabeth, we are talking about you! You're the one who's leaving us Morgan! You can't just up and leave your family like…"
"Like you!" he roared. There was a pause. Howl stood staring at his son, his mouth open.
"Don't look so shocked!" Morgan spat, "You think you could hide why you left from us? From Mum?"
"Morgan…"
"And I don't care! What does it matter to me if you hated your family? If you ran away cause you didn't want to have to face them anymore?"
"It should matter to you, because you're doing the same thing to us! Look, I know how you feel," Howl tried to reason.
"No, dad. You don't," Morgan sighed, "You think you understand everything but you have no idea what it's like for us. For the ones who aren't you. God, you can just do anything can't you? You just sail in there and smile and laugh and you get away with anything you want. Just like Alis can. But I can't, Dad! I didn't get that. And it's worse for me because I'm your son. I've had to live in the shadow of the great Howl Pendragon my whole life. Do you know what it's like being expected to be so much better than you are at something? Do you even know how hard it's been for me?" He was practically yelling.
Howl's face fell, finally looking the age he really was. "God Morgan, please. Please don't do this to me. To us,"
He continued on as if his father hadn't said a word, "But I'm not a wizard, Dad. I'm not a healer or a magician or anything that could be of any use to you right now. But I can be a use to someone there. I need to go where I'm needed."
"We need you here!"
"We? What about you? What do you need? Or does the great Wizard Howl never need any help?" he shook his head, his arms upraised.
"I need you here!"
"And why is that?"
"Because you're my son!"
The room echoed with silence.
"Dad, why are you doing this?" Morgan moved to the space beside the hearth, throwing his lanky form into one of the chairs, his shoulders dropping back to the slouch he had grown so comfortable in, "Mum is going to be fine. The doctors say she just needs rest. She's always been strong. You know that, more than anyone. It's just the cold that's making her so sick all the time. She'll be fine come Spring. So why are you keeping me here?"
Howl sat as well, his breathing laboured from yelling. "What am I going to do without another man in the house?"
"Bollocks."
The older man looked up at the harsh words, but he let them slide.
"You never paid attention to me, even when I was here."
"I did!" Howl started, then seamed to realise how much like a pleading ten-year-old he sounded and stopped. He took a deep breath as if to steady himself and tried again, "I mean, I tried, Morgan. I really did. But we got to far apart. I just don't know what to say to you anymore."
"You could have just listened, instead of always trying to fix me. Being anti-social isn't a disease, dad. I'm happy this way, honest." Morgan gave a sad sort of laugh.
"I hated my father, Morgan. That's why I left Wales in the first place. I left him and I haven't seen him since. Don't make us my Father and I, don't leave. I don't want to have to hate you."
"I wish I could stay here, Dad, I do. But I can't live with you any more. I have to leave." Morgan sighed, pulling himself out of the chair and moving towards the door.
"Can't I know where you're going?" Howl said softly.
"Wales. I'm going to Wales. I never really fit well in Ingary," he smiled. "Look for Morgan Pendragon at University of Wales Cardiff."
"Pendragon?"
He shrugged. "It sounds better anyway."
"But you'll be back for Christmas?" Howl said, sounding more eager than he would have liked, "For your mother, at least."
The corner of Morgan's mouth twitched into something not entirely unlike a smile, "Wouldn't miss it for the world."
The door slammed and he was alone.
But not for long.
A white night gowned figure emerged from the bathroom. Her face was red, but her eyes dry. She walked over to where her father sat in the darkness, his face buried in his hands.
"You heard all of that, didn't you Bethan?" Howl said, not looking up.
"You shouldn't sit in the dark, you'll damage your eyes," she said instead of answering, "You don't want to have to wear eyeglasses like Mum does, do you? I'll get out a candle if you'd like."
Howl sighed and got up, "No, I'm going to bed."
"Be careful you don't wake up Mum, she's supposed to be getting her sleep."
Howl laughed. Even in the dark he could see the earnest concern etched into her face. "Yes, thank you."
Elizabeth nodded then reached up on her toes to wrap her skinny white arms around his neck and peck him lightly on the cheek. "Goodnight, daddy." She whispered.
Howl found himself holding onto her by her small back, squeezing her hard.
"Little Bethan, when did you get to be so old." he laughed into her brown curls.
"I think some people just end up that way." She said smartly. She gave him one last squeeze and hurried up off the stairs.
He sat in the dark for another five minutes, then left.
A/N: Hello there! I know, shock and awe - I've posted again. This chapter has actually been finished and beta-read for quite some time now, but I just never had the guts to post it. It's a lot heavier than the others, the first angsty thing I've posted in quite some time. I also promise you, this is as angsty as this story is going to get. This is a lighter series of stories and I want to keep it that way.
Anyhoo, only two chapters left. OMG!
'Till next time,
The Maid