Title: The Unicorn Prophecy

Chapter: Five – Things start to get interesting

Rating: R for horrific murder

Summary: Lyssa always thought she was a perfectly ordinary girl, but then she suddenly falls into middle earth, and discovers maybe she wasn't so normal after all. LegolasOC.First fic,please R&R! No flames!

Disclaimer: Not mine, it all belongs to Peter Jackson and Tolkein. DON'T SUE!

A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers! You're all so great and you put so much effort in. I feel kind of guilty that I can't follow all your suggestions, so I'm just going with what a select few want.

Before she went to her weapon's training Lyssa headed back to her room and brushed her hair. It was so long, thick and shiny that it got really, really messy after doing so little. The corridors of Rivendell seemed oddly quiet, usually there would be several elves bustling about their duties.

Lyssa picked up the sword that had been specially made for her. It was Elven, very light and the entire blade was sparkly mithril. It was engraved with all sorts of fancy runes (she would have to learn to read them some day) and was very cool. She hoped it shone where Orcs were near. But that had already been done, by Frodo's sword, hers should be way better than that. She was Elrond's daughter, after all!

She headed outside of Rivendell to where she was supposed to be practising. It was warm and sunny again, with a hint of cloud on the horizon, but it didn't look like rain any time soon.

Whistling a dirty song she'd learned from the boys at school (but still wasn't sure what it meant), and swishing her long golden locks as she walked; she headed around the Last Homely House.

The practice court was a fairly large circle of sandy ground, painstakingly raked to make it even, yet after every practice it would be a mess of footsteps. Even the light-stepping elves succeeded in making a mess of such things, jumping to avoid blows, sometimes even falling. Lyssa smiled superiorly: she wouldn't be doing anything so undignified. She was half-elf, half wizard after all. Sword-fighting would come naturally to her, of course.

A noise from behind distracted her and she spun to see… Nothing.

Slightly freaked out, she turned back, more slowly, to see Legolas in the centre of the circle. There were no footsteps at all, could elves really tread so lightly and quickly? There were no trees overhead so he couldn't have jumped into place, unless he could fly, of course, but she was fairly sure elves couldn't do that.

'Mae govannen,' he said stiffly.

'Huh?' she wracked her brains. She'd heard the phrase before, maybe it was in the films.

'It was a greeting in Sindarin,' he informed her. 'And yet, for one who claims to be an elleth; indeed, a peredhil; and an Istar, you know little of our language or customs.'

'What?'

'I begin to wonder if you can even speak Westron, or if you merely believe you can.'

'Westron? What the hell's that?'

'What you speak is not Westron,' he said slowly and thoughtfully, treating her like a child.. 'I do not fully understand your speech, and I hope I never do, it sounds most strange.'

'Look, why don't you just tell me what's going on so I can get on with learning how to fight better than you ever could?' she was feeling incredibly flustered now. He was supposed to be her soul mate, maybe it wasn't supposed to be all fluff, but he wasn't supposed to say all this stuff.

Legolas casually pulled an arrow out of his quiver and began to inspect it.

'Since you have arrived, my ilady/i,' he said, in mock politeness. 'I have been feeling distinctly strange. I believe it affected my actions, a sickness of the brain. Only recently did I notice it, and I cannot fathom why I failed to before. Naturally, I spoke to Lord Elrond of my concern, and discovered I was not the only one who had been thinking so. Indeed, many in Imladris were having severe problems. We thought long and hard, and spoke to those not affected, and discovered some truth in the matter.'

He glanced up at her, she was staring at him, utterly transfixed.

'The problem that we are all facing, my lady, is you.'

She blinked, jumping out of her trance. 'What! What are you talking about?'

'I have only one daughter,' said a voice from behind her, and she spun to face Elrond who had appeared behind her. Nobody could walk that quietly, could they? His face was stern as he looked down at her. 'And she is Arwen Undómiel. I am married to Celebrían, daughter of Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn.'

'There are five Istari.' Lyssa span again. Gandalf had appeared next to Legolas, his glare obvious with his bushy eyebrows. 'We are Maiar and we take the form of male wizards.'

'Rivendell is the Last Homely House,' said another voice: Arwen. She stood at Aragorn's side and her voice had taken on a steely note Lyssa would have imagined impossible for Liv Tyler. 'It has no princess.'

Lyssa's eyes widened. What were they talking about? It wasn't supposed to go like this! They were supposed to love her and never question stuff she couldn't be bothered to explain.

'Boromir of Gondor is an honourable man,' Aragorn then said. 'Nothing you say, do, or believe will change that.'

'My thanks,' said Boromir, who now stood across from Aragorn. Lyssa was fast becoming surrounded. 'My lady, I care not that you are a woman, merely that you cannot fight. There are nine walkers to combat the nine riders. There can be no more.'

Sam walked up on the other side of the circle, causing Lyssa to spin around again. 'There are no unicorns in Middle-earth,' he said, scowling at her, his hand on the short dagger at his waist. She stared at it. Surely he wouldn't dare draw a weapon on her.

'Soul mates prophecies are impossible,' said Gimli the dwarf, also appearing.

'Arwen had brothers!' cried two Ellyn, identical in appearance and clearly the sons of Elrond. 'Elladan and Elrohir are our names. We have only one sister!'

But it was Frodo, the ringbearer, who brought forward the most important point of all, the one thing that had caused many to scream in horror, stare in wonder, faint in surprise. 'Lord Elrond of Rivendell,' he said, staring at Lyssa. 'Would never, ever, in all the ages he has lived and will live, say "stuff".'

Lyssa gasped. NO! It couldn't be!

It was Legolas who fired the first shot, aiming to miss, this job was one to do slowly. His arrow hit her on the shoulder and she shrieked in pain, he then unsheathed a slim knife. The others in the circle had recognised Legolas's right to the first shot for the sheer amount of abuse, but now they all pulled out their own weapons.

Lyssa screamed again, before feeling a piece of cloth around her neck, pulling tightly, choking her, she couldn't breath… she couldn't…

'Obviously you are right,' said Arwen, right next to her ear. 'Strangling someone with breeches is much easier than it would have been had I used a skirt.'

Aragorn cleanly sliced her arm off with the hilt and part of the blade of Narsil, the hobbits attacked her legs with their knives. Lyssa felt her world begin to dissolve and turn black…

Legolas pulled the arrow out of her shoulder and cleaned the blood off in the sand. Wasting an arrow on the girl would have been pointless. Looking up from his crouch, he noticed Lord Elrond standing back from the mess.

'Goheno nin, hîr nín,' he murmured. 'I did not mean to cause such an event.'

'You are forgiven, Prince Legolas, such creatures are deceptive and you could not have known what it would bring.' Lord Elrond then turned to address those assembled. 'Be wary of others like that, there is more than one enemy in this world. Now let us set things to rights; come Elladan, Elrohir; scouts are to be sent from Imladris, but with you two I entrust a different task.'

As Elrond walked away with his sons, Legolas turned back to the corpse, but the body had disappeared. There was no trace that this event had ever happened.

'I thought only elves left no trace,' he murmured, watching the crowd who had gathered begin to disperse, no trouble written on their faces. Were they forgetting her as though she had never been to Imladris? Had she ever been to Imladris? Legolas walked away confused by his own thoughts and the memories that he had.

First off I would like to both thank, and apologise to my reviewers. I did not write this solely for attention and flames, I wrote this for my own interest in badfic and reviewing, I wanted to see if there were any people on ff.n who were willing to make an effort with fics. Admittedly, I was also eager to see if I did get any/many flames.

My experience in the LotR fandom has shown a lot of squeeing reviews and very little criticism, and the fact that many people realised that this was utter rubbish has, to some extent, restored my faith in humanity.

Reviewers I would particularly like to thank are: Bubonic Woodchuck, Varda, and Dangereuse Penguin. But my special thanks to go Morwen Elenial who has been patient with this horrible, annoying story. I only wish you'd sign in/leave contact details so I can send you virtual chocolate! All of my reviewers were either nice or horrible, and I thank you all for it. Between you, you managed to guilt trip me into killing her (which I really wanted to do) rather than attempting to continue.

I'm thinking of putting some details of this fic, my thoughts and, in particular, some stuff on reviewing (something that should be taught, IMO!) in my LiveJournal, if I ever get around to writing it up. If you're interested in seeing it then please email me (the address is in my profile, although it's not my real one). I may include some quotes from reviews that have been posted here.

I hope you all forgive me for such an awful troll. It got far bigger than I expected, only two people ever seriously thought it was a fake and it got reported far too much on MS communities. I follow them, but there's so much stuff out that I kind of expected it to be over-looked.

I'm still interested in any criticism you have for canon in the last chapter (outside of MS and the unrealistic and brutal murder) because I made some more of an effort with this one. In particular the elvish phrases, translators aren't entirely reliable, I know!

I respect Tolkien and although I like the films, I much prefer the books. Apologies again!