His entire body ached. His legs felt permanently spread apart, and he was pretty sure he had lost all feeling below his waist. Hands were blistered and sore, much more so than his arms, but his back felt the worst. Walking itself seemed more a chore than usual. In fact merely existing seem more trouble than it was worth. Movies always seemed to make riding much easier than it actually was.
All in all Harry had no idea how to sit down and eat without injuring himself.
Of Kings and Commoners
A Harry Potter Fanfiction
Devastation Exponential
Pain racked his body, and he found it a miracle that he made it to his room. The others were having another bonfire, which he wordlessly passed. His bed looked as warm and inviting as ever, and yet he couldn't lay down just yet. He regretfully left his room before even entering it and sought the one thing that remained on his mind the entire week.
Liu Yen.
Her room lay empty and immaculate save for her desk. Her flute sat at her desk along with scattered parchments with a lot of musical notes and other things he didn't really care about because they weren't her. Something on her bed caught his eye and he stumbled over, grasping a small simply worded piece of paper.
"Don't look for me tonight."
He smiled, knowing that she always gave him the best advice whether in riddles or not. She wanted him to rest. Let the healing potions work it's magic so he would be ready to ride again tomorrow. He inhaled deeply taking in the lingering scent of her with him as he staggered out of her room and back into his.
He found his last vial of healing potion and tilted it's contents to his mouth and winced at it's horrible taste. Despite his frequent use of it, it was something he figured he would never get used to. It lingered on his tongue and he coughed; the smell just as bad. Laboriously, he peeled off his sweat stained clothes, left them on a pile in the corner and collapsed on the bed. The familiar tingle of healing potion began to flow through his body, slowly soothing him into sleep.
With practiced ease, Harry's eyes snapped open at the exact moment he'd wanted. He normally gave himself fifteen minutes to get ready, but instead of exercise, he was to go out riding again. However, he had given himself additional time for something else.
He slipped out of bed and dressed quickly, finding a set of gloves he had never used so his hands would remain intact by the end of the night. Silently he crept out of his room. Though not as quiet as some, he had picked up on the lessons in stealth rather quickly. He felt a breeze blow by and turned to watch a leaf float away. Again he continued his quiet trek to his destination, though his heart dropped at the sight of an empty bed once again.
"I will see you tonight."
A large grin spread across his face and though the implications were there, he wondered what could be done when he was bruised and battered. His grin quickly faded as the longing for her grew inside of him once more. He tucked her note away in his breast pocket and made his way to the stables, the one portion he'd never entered due to the smell.
A sturdy looking elf waited outside the stables while several horses snorted in response to him. He found her in the far corner and remembered that he hadn't even named her yet. The stable elf looked up at him expectantly.
"Um…that one." He pointed to her and she snorted loudly. Donovan said they were very intelligent, and she was probably upset that he hadn't given hera name yet.
"I'm sorry," he took the reins in his gloved hands and lead her beyond the gates. "Guess it just slipped my mind…"
The opened doors revealed the vast open land of rolling hills dotted with trees and bushes, cut down the middle by a river from the mountains to the north. The sun had yet to pour over the mountains, and a morning breeze left the valley cold. Harry breathed into his gloves hands, feeling the momentary warmth and watched his breath fade away. The majesty of his surroundings was something he rarely enjoyed and he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, taking in the memory before slowly mounting his horse.
A Pegas horse she was, but what made her different other than greater intelligence was still a mystery. He was able to trace the word from Pegasus, but he had seen those horses when the students from Beaxbatons had come for the Tri-Wizard Tournament. They obviously had wings and these didn't
He learned early yesterday that physically coaxing her was something she didn't approve of, and that he merely had to tell her and steer her. He stroked her mane thinking that a familiar hill off a short distant away seemed like a nice ride to warm up to. She shifted slightly and began to trot in that direction.
Harry jerked his hand from her mane quickly in confusion…
"You can hear my thoughts?"
She nodded and kept at her even gait.
He touched her again.
How does this work?
Exactly how you think it does. He jerked his hand away again. He only needed to touch her head and he could…talk to her. Yet the words were not there. Just the thoughts, the images were there. Like he could understand whatever it was she was thinking in because it wasn't in any sort of language. Nothing distinct like parseltongue.
He touched her head again.
Well…now that we have this out of the way, what shall I name you? Did your parents name you?
My mother called me flower. I was born in a flower bed. The images of an unfamiliar horse was shown to him and her birth into a flower bed and he understood. He nodded and smiled.
"Can we pick it up a bit?"
Her pace quickened to gallop, and his leg muscles had become accustomed to the feeling overnight.
"I think I have a nice name for you. I like your given name though. So how about Lily?"
She was my mother. She died protecting me.
He could tell she was a bit confused.
"A lily is a type of flower, very white, very beautiful. I don't think you have any here."
He wanted to show her what one looked like, but only images of his mother came up. And truth be told he had never seen one. Not while tending the Dursley's garden or in Hogwarts. And he didn't fancy naming her anything magical as the names of magical plants seemed…inappropriate to say the least.
"Well, Lily, I think it's time to get going."
It felt like flying. It was the only comparison he could make. The feeling of complete freedom. The free wind blowing through your hair, screaming into your ears. Though decidedly more real. Despite whatever magical properties she had, she was alive and wasn't powered by some manufactured charms. She turned when he wanted, but was nowhere near as responsive as his Firebolt. But she picked up speed and the feeling of being more a passenger than pilot gave a feeling of freedom with its own distinct flavor.
Harry had quickly acquired the joy of riding once he had gotten the hang of it. His muscles were no longer sore, his hands weren't blistered and he wasn't sun burnt. In fact, it seem like they were going so fast the wind had become a sting against his skin.
The grin on his face grew as he realized time really flew when he was having fun. The sun had set, and the sky was just the right hue to go back inside. He whispered lightly, trying to coax more speed out of her. The landscape seemed to fly past, looking more and more like a blur with only one thing in sight, or more actually on his mind.
She had been lingering in his thoughts all day, and he longed for her touch.
"Where have you been all this time?"
He had finally found her in the most obvious place, and yet the one he had overlooked. She sat upon the rock like had always done, playing some melancholy tune that seemed quite the opposite to what he had been feeling since he had returned. He simply watched, accustomed to being ignored as she played. She played with all the familiar elegance, though something was amiss as she played. He could tell something was troubling her. At least he thought so since she had never before played sad songs.
He felt something linger in his mind, something he couldn't place. He shook off the feeling as it faded when she stopped playing. He helped her off the rock as he had always done, just barely catching the sadness in her eyes. He held her close, and ran his hand through her hair. She brought her hands up between and them and kept her distance, avoiding his eyes.
"What? What is it?" He held her chin so she couldn't avoid his eyes.
"No more Harry. We can't do this."
He only laughed, his mind betraying his ears. He stole a kiss and smiled, and she couldn't help but smile in return.
"See? Whatever it is, I'll make it better…"
Her face forced the smiled away and she pushed him away forcefully, stepping away from him.
"I'm serious Harry. It's not going to work. We should just stop. If we could I wouldn't be doing this. But…we can't."
She moved to run away but he quickly grabbed her wrist.
"Lien, what is it? I've only been gone for a week. What's happened?"
She quickly faced him, holding his face in her hands. Her eyes bored deep into him, and he felt her touch his mind.
"You cannot love me anymore."
He wasn't sure what he had heard, but something echoed in his mind. Touching the deepest reaches of his mind before his eyes closed against his will. He could just barely feel himself slip from her hands and fall to the soft grass below…
It was dark. His stomach rumbled loudly and he struggled to stand. He was still in the garden…
"What the hell?…" He wondered for a moment why he was sleeping in the garden.
The last thing he remembered was her. She held his face and after that was…nothing. He shook his head not believing he had passed out. She said something. He couldn't recall. But before that, something he was able to convince himself that he didn't hear.
He jumped to his feet, vaguely wondering what time it was. He sprinted thought he corridors of the temple and had found her sleeping soundly in her room. Papers were strewn about still, mostly sheet music with notes scribbled on every empty space the parchment could spare. He dismissed them and knelt at her bedside brushing a lock of hair from her face.
Her eyes shot open at the touch and she cried out immediately jumping away.
"What are you doing here!"
He was confused to say the least. She had never acted this way before, and what she was saying before again came first. He was sure he had heard wrong. Something had to have happened to her while he was away.
"I want to help. Whatever happened to you while I was gone, I'm sorry I wasn't there but I'm here now. Tell me what's wrong?"
"You are wrong."
"What?"
She mutter something barely discernable, something about something not working.
"What's not working? Lien please?" He was getting desperate. She had never before shut herself away like this. And now with such a drastic change with no reason he could tell behind it, it left him very much in the dark.
"What? No! No! Us! We're not working! You have to leave soon I-I can't take it anymore!"
"That's not the reason…"
She cursed under her breath and crept away from him, sliding against the wall.
"You know it's not. I'll be back for the winter holidays and-." But she cut him off.
"No Harry!" The sadness in her voice had been replaced with something else. Something he hadn't heard since they had first met.
Indifference.
"You cannot love me anymore..."
She merely whispered the words and yet the felt those words, knowing they were the same words she spoke before he had blacked out. He felt the tingle in his mind, and he hastily erected his mental barriers but they seemed to come falling down as quickly as they came up…
Darkness had taken him again. Though he imagined he would wake up else where other than her room. Something had upset her, that much was clear. Why she was taking out on him was another story. He would ask again when he had woken up.
She looked down at his fallen figure, and quickly picked up a pen and began to write furiously on some of the sheets of paper strewn across her desk. Her brow furrowed in frustration and she looked at him lying on the floor and back to her papers.
"What makes this time any different? Why are you so difficult? God…I don't want to do it. Not again…"
"Get up."
"Get up Harry come on."
Harry only stirred in his bed, though his nightmares were considerably dark, they were much more welcome then the sunlight that dared break though his eyelids. He tried to ignore Donovan's voice. He desperately wanted to sleep, but he knew some sort of rude awakening would be in order and he rolled out of bed and onto the floor, which he had learned was a good enough equivalent to getting up for his old master.
"Come on. We gotta go."
"Wha? Where?" He rubbed his eyes and stumbled around for his glasses.
"Back were going back. Now."
"What? Back where?" He continued to squint, trying to adjust to the daylight. It had been a long time since he had woken up to the sun instead of before it.
"Hogwarts. Let's go we leave in two."
And the grizzly old knight left him there, not quite sure how he would take to leaving a few days earlier.
"What the fuck!"
He had to be joking. He wasn't ready to leave yet and he had two hours left to pack and to sort thing out with Lien. He had already lost two days and now he was going to lose two hours. He quickly packed, using up every last bit of strength to pack everything nice and neat and shrink his belongings into his pocket. He pulled his black trousers and his boots on not having time to fold them at the top like he normally did. Quickly tucking in his button up and throwing his overcoat on.
He nearly darted out the door before he peeked back in to see his two birds sitting calmly on his shelf eyeing him and clucking to each other.
"Sorry girls. Um, Hedwig can you take Jade over to the Burrow? Oh…um actually Hedwig just go by yourself. Here."
He scribbled on to a piece of paper hastily for Hermione and Ron telling them he was ok and on his way back. He tied it tightly and sent her on her way. He called for his falcon and she hopped of the shelf and flapped until she landed on his arm. He was going to need a bird for the trip and they would need one that wasn't as conspicuous as a snowy owl.
"Find Lily and wait for me there."
And with a dash he ran. He prayed she would be in her room.
She wasn't.
Nor was she in the Dining Hall nor any of the practice halls. He had searched everywhere…
"Bloody idiot…the garden!" He ran as fast as he could, wondering if he could run faster if he ditched his jacket. He hopped over the fence to hear a depressing melody abruptly stop. He had just made the clearing before she stood before him, looking dark and angry.
"Stop."
"Lien, I-."
"No stop. I don't care that your leaving. I never loved you and you never loved me."
"There was no song! What are you talking about! I don't want to leave like this!" He had never yelled at her before, and the act itself was gut-wrenching.
"Well too bad! This is how it is!" She held his face again and tapped into his mind.
"You cannot love me anymore!"
This time however his defenses held and he pulled her into a tight embrace. She struggled against him, breaking free. He tried again and she pointed a wand into his face. The same wand she had shown off when she had first received it.
"What are you doing!"
"Telling you just exactly what we were." She reached inside of her coat. "Experiment number twelve. Here."
She handed him a sheet of paper. It was sheet music. The same sheet music that had covered her desk though the notes were not like music. (They vaguely resembled some work he had seen Hermione work on in Runes.) And there words were written above them. Words she had spoken to him. In their most intimate moments word for word. Another page was the story of her life, as she had told him with similar notes beneath them.
"What is this? A script?"
"Yes exactly that. I can manipulate the mind with sound simply by speaking in a certain pitch or tone. And the case with you was to see how I can manipulate affection and…love." She spat her last word as if merely speaking it were distasteful. "In this case I can have succeeded."
"No…impossible! I don't know what's going on. But I'm pretty sure I have my own damn emotions under control and I'm pretty fucking sure that I still love you!"
"No, you don't"
Her face suddenly looked very still and emotionless. She said the words again, his mind was bombarded by something that wasn't anything Dumbledore or Snape had taught him. Harry collapsed to his knees and clutched at his head, crying out loudly. His felt his world crumbling around him. His mind was a torrent of dark emotion and all the feelings he had felt, all the pain and depression that consumed him over the past two years. Cedric, Sirius, his parents, all of it came crashing down all at once.
He wanted to die.
He wanted it to end.
Right now.
Liu Yen looked out from the small battlement that stood sentry over the main temple gates. She wiped her eyes as she followed Harry's slumped over figure ride away. Donovan had nearly banished her for experimenting without his consent. He was furious and had every right to be. And yet she would still ride out tomorrow and be their flank security for reasons no one would explain, just that nearly everyone was going.
She pulled out her pen and wrote on the last sheet of paper she had shown him.
Experiment 12:
Utilization of Ultimate Reversal technique was needed to counteract part initial emotion effects of part A. Reversal completed, though with enough time, regular reversal techniques should work.
Conclusion: Experiment 12- Failure
She folded the paper neatly and tucked away in her pocket, watching them crest one last hill before they disappeared from sight. She tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear and pulled out her flute and began to play
Harry never saw her cry herself to sleep that night…
A/N:
Well I received several reviews and they have all been very positive. But seeing as it's been over a year since I've updated I never expected to receive two reviews bother within a week of each other. Somehow, someway those two reviews got me off my butt. At least momentarily to finish up this chapter. This chapter has been ridiculously difficult and I could not write it. I didn't know how to put it into words or know how to properly convey the emotions believably. Believe me when I say this is not my best chapter. But I think it really is a hurdle that I've finally jumped over. Will this mean more updates? Hopefully. I really hope so because I have some wonderful ideas I want to see on screen. I'm already at work on the next chapter. So please be gentle on the reviews for this chapter and thank Trayus and Snoppy0160 for reviewing.