Naruto had come to me in the morning and dragged me kicking and screaming from my nice, warm bed to go shopping. For Sakura. I was not a happy camper. I mean, you wouldn't be either if you had been kidnapped from your warm bed at an ungodly hour (10:00 on a Saturday!!!) and pulled to the mall without being able to brush your teeth. And there's nothing I hate more then having to go anywhere without brushing my teeth.

And we're shopping for Sakura's birthday but I don't even like her! If I give her anything, she'll automatically assume that I like her and it'll be days before I can establish that I am a cold and unfeeling bastard. Which I am.

…

Crap, who am I fooling?

Oh yeah. Only most of the world.

We reach the mall soon. It's that one mall that no one ever sees because it's at the very edge of the village and no one hangs out there. Except for now because they installed some pretty nice stores, including an Avengers R Us, which I'm secretly hoping to sneak off later and see what they have.

"So, um, Sasuke, what exactly are we getting Sakura?" Naruto asks me sheepishly. I turn to him and give him A LOOK. He just keeps grinning that foxy grin of his and my heart melts into a little puddle of Naruto-just-grinned goo.

But I can't show THAT on my face.

So instead I just say, "You're the one that dragged me here. I assumed you knew where we were going, idiot." Inside, I applaud myself over the fact that I could still sound so sarcastic. Even though my heart was goo. A big puddle of sloppy, sticky Naruto-just-grinned goo.

He looks vaguely hurt. "Well… I just kinda assumed that you would know more about, uh… GIRLS than I do…"

It was time for me to stare at him incredulously. He was talking to thee Uchiha Sasuke, prince of ice (or, at least, that's how I fancy it) who has never shown interest in a girl in his life, let alone gone out with one.

"Why do you think that?" I ask him, impressed with myself for being able to sound curious and distant at the same time. Now THAT is one hard feat to accomplish.

He shifts uncomfortably before replying, "You have an entire fan club! I mean, with half of Konoha after you, I thought maybe you knew something." I grimace after hearing the word "fan club."

I suggest we find a map and maybe we'll find a couple of stores that sell stuff that girls like. Flowers, make-up, and smelly stuff. I don't see why females think they have to bathe in all that perfume crap. Do they think I'll attract more guys? Because I can tell you one thing: smelling like a fucking garden is not what a man wants in a girl.

"Hey, asshole!" Naruto calls, effectively pulling me from my internal rant. "Um… this Victoria's Secret place looks like it might have something for Sakura." I grunt in response, not even looking at the description of the store (because, frankly, I don't care what we get Sakura), and we start off, navigating the labyrinth of the mall with the expertise of… people who have never been there before.

We find Victoria's Secret finally, after getting help from three or four shoppers. And they gave us some really weird looks, which makes me suspicious. What kind of store was this Vitora Whispers or whatever anyway? A few minutes later, I am dragging a drooling Naruto out of the store, feeling very annoyed. I think there is a permanent blush on my face after seeing all of… THOSE things. Yes, THOSE things. The "over the shoulder boulder holder" things.

I am just about to reprimand the total moron when I see It. It is glorious and It is wonderful. It glows with a heavenly light and I can't help but to think that God has blessed this place.

Avengers R Us: Find all the tools you need to exact revenge on someone!

I think I'm drooling as hard as Naruto is.

Without thinking, I grab the sleeve of his garish orange jumpsuit ("Let go of the goods, bastard!) and pull him towards It, like a moth to flame. I can see the shiny, wooden sign and the crisp displays of… certain things in the window that I already know I must have to kill Itachi.

"Sasuke, no! NO! … Step away from the store and nobody gets hurt," Naruto said cautiously. He knew what was going to happen if I got anywhere near that store. Well, at least I think he did. That, or else he wanted to get back at me for not letting him go into THAT ONE STORE.

He grabs me by the shoulders and instantly, I stiffen. My nerves clamor, shouting "Sex, sex, sex, SEEEXXXX!" Feed to my brain shuts off and I become limp with the warm tingly fuzzy feelings that promote pictures of fluffy pink bunnies, limp to the point that Naruto can safely remove me from visual sight of It. He shoves me onto a bench, where we both agree to not go to that end of the mall. Too much danger and all that jazz.

But I'm lying. I will go to that store. I will.

With the help of another girl (who was completely taken with me but hated Naruto), we were pointed in the right direction. She took us to Claire's and bought everything she thought Sakura might need. Of course, it was all with our money (and by our, I'm mean my money) but it did save us from having to guess what to buy. So we were walking out of the cursed girly store, laden down with bags.

Then Naruto spots something. His face lights up and he says, "Sasuke… Look!" He points to one of the children's toy stores but more specifically, he points to those horses that you put a quarter in and ride. "Saaaaaasuke! Gimme a quarter!"

I sigh and pull a coin out of my pocket because he's giving me the puppy dog eyes and I absolutely can't resist those big blue orbs. He snatches the silver coin out of my hand and gives me an impulsive hug, shouting, "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

He runs to it, knocking over a few blue-haired old hags in the process. I chuckle at his antics and decide to claim that I don't know him. Especially because there's this freaky lady with bug eyes eating a huge ice cream cone staring at him murderously. And me but I'm too good so I haven't noticed yet. And I'm certainly not trying to hide behind this plant. Nope, not me.

It takes him a while to figure out where the quarter goes in. He positions himself on the plastic horse and I get a very nice view of his ass, which is to DIE for, by the way. The pony starts to move and as I watch the round globes of said ass clench to keep from being thrown from the toy, I know that I'm going to have to move some of our bags to hide Sasuke Jr.

I feel all the blood in my body rush downwards, watching Naruto move his hips in time to the horse. My mind, which has unsurprisingly found its way into the gutter, supplies me with some very nice mental images, mostly of me being switched with the horse. Some VERY nice mental images.

I swear that creepy lady with the bug eyes knows exactly what I'm thinking.

The horse suddenly jerks to a stop, almost sending Naruto flying off. I'm tempted to throw another quarter in his direction, just to see the show again but he appears to be done. "Thanks, asshole! I've always wanted to ride one of those…"

He reaches over and tries to take the bags in my hand. He surprised me and that's the only reason he almost got the bag covering my obvious attraction to him.

Shit. I think he saw IT.

"I've got these!" I snarl at him. I'm freaking out here! If he finds out… Oh, crud. He'll probably laugh and then shout it to the entire mall and then somehow Itachi will hear about this and do something to me (I don't know how it happens, but he always knows when something embarrassing happens to me), just like that time I got caught singing really bad American pop songs in the shower with my rubber duck and OH GOD. And just to top the entire day off, I STILL HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO BRUSH MY TEETH.

"I was just trying to fucking help you! You don't need to flip out or anything," he snarls back. I almost breathe a sigh of relief right then and there because my secret was still safe. And, I mean, it's not like I'm in love with him or anything. I just think he's hot. Really hot. Sex god hot.

He grabs some of the bags I set on the ground and we start to walk to Naruto's apartment, since Sakura is less likely to go there than to mine. Besides, after the Shower Incident, I don't want to have anything incriminating in my apartment. Besides, I'd probably end up throwing it all away. Accidentally, of course.

He unlocks the door after piling all his bags on top of mine. This results in me not being able to see and I curse the fact that I'm so short. Well, on the other hand, I guess I'm not all that short. I'm taller than Naruto at least. But then again, I guess that's not saying much. After the door was open (he had as much trouble with the key as he did with the quarter), he takes half the bags from me so I can actually see again and I discover that his apartment is clean.

Oh, is that a pig I see? And could it possibly be flying?

He sets his bags down in the middle of the living room but I'm very reluctant to do so because, well, Sasuke Jr. still needed a little attention. I chuckle nervously and say, "Well, um, nice shopping time! Gotta go, lots of stuff to do today!" Like stare at the wall. That's always an amusing past time.

Naruto shoves me into the nearest scroll-covered wall and I drop the bags in surprise. The jewelry and make-up produce a clinking sound when they hit each other but the sound only registers in the back of my mind. Because Naruto's hot little body is rubbing up against me and that kinda commands all attention.

… Okay, more than kinda.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I choke out in a raspy, aroused voice. His throat vibrates appealingly as he says,

"I'm paying you back for the quarter you gave me."

Oh, the implications of that sentence! When he saw the oh-fuck-is-he-really-going-to-do-this-and-I'm-not-going-to-stop-him? look on my face, he grinned. He moved slowly toward my mouth until all of the sudden, his lips were all over mine and I kept wondering where he learned to kiss like this. I was so distracted that I didn't even notice his hands slipping through the waistband of my shorts until they brushed up against IT.

I sank down so I was sitting on the floor, leaning up against the wall as Naruto slowly pulled down my shorts and boxers. His blond head lowered itself until he was comfortable between my legs. My cock swayed slightly in front of his face and he languidly licked it.

The pace was killing me and I reached out to shove his head towards me but he moved on his own before I could. He deep-throated me and I gasped slightly at the warmth of his mouth.

… Oh god oh my fucking god it's so hot and I could come right now and WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING WITH HIS MOUTH?!?! So nice and keep doing that…

The pleasure rolled over me in waves and without thinking I slipped into the familiar state of sharingan. The effect was instantaneous.

Everything was amplified a thousand times over and the mouth that was moving up and down my cock felt so hot and so fucking good and the pleasure was overwhelming and couldn't think and couldn't do anything and I was shouting his name and fuck fuck fuck.

"Oh god, Naruto," was all I could choke out as I exploded into his mouth. I felt so satisfied and sated. I watched with an amused eye as some of my cum dripped out the side of his mouth and without thinking, I leaned over and licked it off.

He gave me a crooked, lust-filled smile and, in a sultry tone, said, "Now it's my turn…" He trailed off suggestively.

I grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into the bathroom, more specifically the shower. There were some things out of some of my best fantasies that I wanted to try.

But first I was going to brush my teeth.

(Note: I had to post the lime here because I made my journal friends only and it doesn't work very well when you try to visit the link. ;;)