Chapter 7 – Lacrimae Rerum
"It is easy to call up demons, Because demons are always calling you And you have only to step down to their level and fraternize with them. Then, they will tear you in pieces at their leisure."
--Aleister Crowley
In tears and beside herself, Lily Evans had shown up at the Slytherin dormitory door demanding to see Severus Snape. When she had been ignored, she commenced to scream until Professor Penderdandis himself came up behind her (scaring her half to death in the process) asking her what the devil she meant by it.
"I need – to – see Severus, sir. Please. I really must."
Fearing that the problem was between Lily and Snape (she slightly resembled the Vox girl, he supposed), Penderdandis let her in, and turned to fetch Severus from his room.
Snape had been holed up in his dormitory since he had returned from the Potters several days before. His Head of House had been unaware of it because Severus' roommates were still gone, so no one had complained to him that history was in the process of repeating itself.
There had been no need for Penderdandis to fetch him, either. Young Snape now slouched out with a limp, barefoot and wearing a robe. It was pretty clear that he hadn't bothered to bathe since then.
"How dare you, boy!" Penderdandis hissed in spite of himself. "Slytherins don't show such disrespect to their House – or their visitors!" He began to scruff the boy, but Severus whipped around and struck his hand away.
"Get your hands off me," the boy said to him.
Penderdandis realized his error immediately, and let the slap and the comment go. Calming himself and realizing that this situation had gone very wrong, the Slytherin Head of House now looked closely at the boy, whose face was tallow-white and his eyes deep-socketed and red. "I expect you to clean up and report to my office in one hour's time, Mr. Snape," Penderdandis said solemnly, hoping this message would underscore for Severus exactly how far out of control he was at the present moment.
Snape eyed him coldly and gave him a curt half-bow.
He then turned to Lily.
"What are you doing here?"
"Oh, gods, Sev! You're scaring me!" Lily whispered, beginning to cry again.
"I'm a scary kind of guy, Lily," Severus replied coldly. "Don't tell me you haven't noticed."
"James told me what happened."
"James Potter and his little friends can go straight to Hell."
"You don't mean that, Severus!" Lily sobbed.
"Oh, I do," he said with a grim smile. "Too bad silly little mudbloods like you can't get it through their thick skulls that Gryffindors shouldn't consort with Slytherins, and vice versa. Potter made his choice between his Marauder friends and me well known – very clearly, in fact."
"Where have you been? I've been looking for you at meals in the Great Hall. You look terrible."
Severus gave her a mocking bow. "If you're so inclined, Sillyass Blastard knocked me off my broom and wracked my knee. I didn't think Pomfrey would appreciate my showing up on her doorstep, looking – and smelling – the way I do."
"I'd be happy to help you go over to the Hospital Wing," Lily offered, reaching for him.
"No," Severus said, stepping back out of her reach. "I'm too – dirty for the likes of you. You never know. I might just conjure something up to snatch your soul and drag it down into the Fiery Pit."
"Stop talking that way, Sev! It's just not you!"
Severus' lower lip trembled. "Oh, begging Your Ladyship's pardon, but it's me, all right. You're nothing but a stupid little mudblood, and I'm nothing but a foul stinking dark-wizard kid whose own father broke most of his major bones before he was even old enough to be invited to attend this shit pit of a school. Not a fit companion for you, at any rate. Not a fit companion for anyone, not to put too fine a point on it." His sudden grin was awful.
"I'm so sorry, Severus. There must be some way we can fix this!"
He sneered. "Why fix a situation that was untenable from the start? Potter can just go back to hating me the way he always has. He and his friends can just go back to tormenting me the way they always have. There's nothing left to fix, Lily."
"No! James doesn't want that!" Lily wept.
"I don't give a good goddamn what St. James the Martyred wants."
"But what about the Wizard's Oath?"
"What about it?" the boy said with an expression that her future son would recognize on the adult Snape's cold face. "Promises are made to be broken, especially when a golden Gryffindor has been stupid enough to pledge his loyalty to a nasty little snake that might whip right around and sink his fangs into his hand. Tell your boyfriend – "
At this, Lily gasped.
"– Tell him that he shouldn't have to nursemaid 'greasy little gits' whose own families don't even want them."
"No, Severus! I won't!"
"Then go straight to Hell yourself, girl."
Lily stood, hands over her mouth, eyes horrified.
"Get out of here. Get out of this snake pit, mudblood, before I call up a spook to defile you, or something nasty like that. You wouldn't like that, now, would you?"
His face was wet with hot tears as he stepped towards her with a menacing gesture. "RUN!"
With a shriek, Lily Evans turned and ran for the door. Her tearstained face was contorted into an awful expression of grief and loss.
If anyone had bothered to peer into Snape's own face as he turned and left the Slytherin Common Room, they would have seen the same thing.
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The dark and beautiful eyes closed, the child's haunted face relaxed.
Severus Snape dreamt of deep, dark rivers and razors red and slick with Slytherin blood. -----------
The End