Linked
By The Ambitious Blank

Disclaimer- Naruto isn't mine. It belongs to Masashi Kishimoto and all them other people who I can't bother to remember the names of. :D
Comments- ..dear god, is this what I think it is? Hell yes it is! It's a humor fic!

...

..omfg I think the world is ending. Anyway, yeah, it's a humor fic. I have a good sense of humor, really, it's just I don't usually write it in fic form. I give my ideas to The Carpet Shampoo and let her use them. XP So.. I'm gonna fly solo for once. A fair amount of cursing in this fic, otherwise, no real severe warnings.. shounen-ai and all that, of course. There will probably be more serious, but fluffy, moments later on. (I think I'll go commit honorable suicide now.. no, not even that. I have lost all honor in writing this. Sigh.) So, have fun~

~*~Sunday - And So It Begins...

Naruto and Sasuke were arguing again.

Unfortunately, they didn't realize that their arguments were what started their whole predicament.

"You're so stupid, Sasuke!!" Naruto shouted. "Get off your high horse and just.. just.. stop being a moron!"

"You're such a dumbass." Sasuke muttered in reply, which, of course, only got the Uzumaki boy even more angry. He was just about to reach for his kunai when Sakura, who was standing nearby and had been watching them for a few minutes, intervened.

"H-hey, guys.." She said, looking a little nervous, as both the Genin had their hands going for their kunai pouches. "This isn't such a good idea, you two really shouldn't be killing each other.. you're teammates, after all."

"Who cares?!" They both snapped at her, and she recoiled back, quickly hurrying off to find someone a little less dangerous to hang out with. The two boys glared after her and then began to storm down the street, side by side.

"Look, you idiot, stop following me!" Sasuke snapped. Naruto glared daggers at him.

"I'm not following you, stupid!" He growled in reply. "I have to go this way to get to the ramen bar!"

"Fuck your ramen!" Sasuke retorted harshly. Naruto jerked as if the other had stricken him, and then stared at him, giving him the 'oh no you didn't' look.

"You did NOT just say 'fuck your ramen'.."

"And if I did?" The Uchiha scoffed in reply. Naruto was just about to tackle him, when suddenly, it happened.

Kakashi crept up behind them, book in one hand, a strange metal object in the other. He gleefully snapped said metal object around the two boys' wrists, and when they looked down, they noticed that it was a pair of handcuffs. Kakashi skittered off, leaving the two boys staring dumbfoundedly at the handcuffs that now chained them together. Attached to them was a large yellow post-it note, with Kakashi's handwriting on it. Sasuke read it slowly, as if afraid of what it might say.

"Your mission for the next two days is to try and get along with each other to improve team morale. Signed, Kakashi."

There was dead silence between the two for a very, very long time, before Naruto muttered exactly what they were both thinking.

"Oh, shit."

~*~

Of course, right away, there was disagreement.

"I have to go this way, you retard!" Sasuke snapped as he tugged on the chains, trying to pull Naruto towards his house.

"Yeah, well I'm still hungry, so we're going this way, you selfish bastard!" Naruto yelled back, pulling in exactly the opposite direction. They looked almost as if they were from an episode of Looney Tunes, pulling futilely against one another to try and go in different directions. After about twenty minutes of the two stubborn boys pulling on one another, they both collapsed to the ground, back to back, exhausted.

"Alright, alright, you dumbass, we'll go get your stupid ramen first.. but then we go to my house, okay?" Sasuke said, panting softly. Naruto scowled, but nodded.

"Fine then."

The two climbed to their feet with some difficultly, carefully having to synchronize their movements in order to be able to push off the ground, considering the handcuffs limited their arm movement. So, still chained together, they began walking towards the Ichiraku Noodle Bar.

[ A/N: It is Ichiraku, right? x.x;;; ]

"Hey, Sasuke, are you alright being seen like this?" Naruto asked, looking down at the chain that connected them. Sauske snorted.

"It's not like I have a choice, dumbass."

"True!" The blonde chirped annoyingly, and smiled. "Besides, we can just tell them it's a special mission."

Sasuke stared at him incredulously.

"And who the hell would be dumb enough to believe that?!" He snapped, glaring. Naruto wasn't paying attention. Sakura had just come up to them again, having seen that they weren't arguing for a second.

"Hey, Sasuke-kun, Naruto!" Sakura greeted them cheerfully. Her green eyes shifted downward, and she blinked at the sight of the handcuffs.

"Umm.. why the hell are you two chained together?" She asked, crossing her arms and glaring at Naruto, her face demanding an explaination. Naruto shrugged.

"It's a mission from Kakashi-sensei. He said we were supposed to improve team.. team.. umm.. what was it again, Sasuke?" The blonde turned to glance at the taller boy, who rolled his eyes.

"Morale, stupid." He said, snorting.

"Right! Morale!" Naruto said, beaming at Sakura, who blinked once and then nodded.

"Oh, okay then. Well, I hafta go find Ino, so I'll see you two later!" She smiled at Sasuke and skipped away. Sasuke just stared.

Or maybe there are some people dumb enough to believe it. He thought, blinking. Tch. Figures.

"Huh? Somethin' wrong, Sasuke?" Naruto peered into his teammate's face, and Sasuke glared, pushing him back as far as the handcuffs would allow.

"Nothing. Let's just go get your damn ramen."

"Okay! But, umm.. by the way, Sasuke, you wouldn't happen to have any money on you, would you..?"

~*~

Three bowls of ramen later, (all of which were now settling in Naruto's stomach), the connected teammates began walking back toward the Uchiha manor.

"I can't believe you didn't have any money, you idiot. What were you planning to do, eat and run?" Sasuke demanded, glaring at the Uzumaki boy. Naruto cringed a little at his harsh tone, shaking his head furiously.

"No, actually, I was planning on going to Iruka's house and asking him for some, but then I got stuck to you and I figured you wouldn't wanna see anyone else 'cause we're stuck like this." He held up both their wrists, and Sasuke stared glumly at the chain that still held them together. Naruto lowered their hands again.

"It's not like I asked to be stuck to you, you know." Sasuke muttered. "But we'll stay at my house tonight, alright? It's getting late and I don't feel like being out here in the open like this anymore.. we'll see about getting these off tomorrow."

"Yeah, sure." Naruto shrugged. "I guess it won't be so bad, I've always kinda wanted to be in a big house like yours."

They stopped in front of the gate in front of the manor, and Sasuke unlocked it, leading Naruto through, and then turned and locked it again. He'd installed a chain lock on this gate for the constant swarm of girls that visited his house, becoming worried they might start stealing his stuff. Or parts of his house. Or himself, for that matter.

Sweatdrop.

"Wow, what a big house!" Naruto said, as the two removed their shoes and stepped up onto the polished wooden floors. He glanced to Sasuke increduously. "How do you keep everything so clean?"

"Because I don't consider my floor a huge garbage can, unlike some people I know." Sasuke retorted, heading for the kitchen, dragging the blonde behind him.

"Hey! I'll have you know those broken up ramen cups make very good flooring!" Naruto protested, as Sasuke unwrapped some foil from a plate, revealing some onigiri.[1] He held one out to Naruto.

"Want one?" He asked. Naruto peered at it closely, raising an eyebrow at Sasuke.

"What poison did you put in them?" He asked, suspiciously. He was half-joking, and half-not. It was really hard to tell whether putting poison in food and offering it to so-called friends was Sasuke's style or not. Sasuke just rolled his eyes.

"They're not poison, they're bonito.[2]" He took a bite out of it, showing the center to Naruto, who peered at it closely. Sasuke rolled his eyes and kept eating at it. "See? I'm not dying."

"Yeah, but poison takes a lot of time to sink in.." Naruto said, and was immediately thwapped on the head. Sasuke glared at him.

"You moron. If it was poison, I wouldn't be eating it."

"Oh, yeah!" Naruto said, blinking and reaching for one. "Okay, I'll try it." He bit into the riceball, and almost immediately spat it out into the sink, earning himself a dirty look from Sasuke.

"Y'know, if the cooking's bad, the least you could do is swallow your first bite." Sasuke snorted, looking a little miffed. Naruto shrugged.

"It's not bad, it's just.. well, y'know, I've been eating ramen almost all my life.." Naruto explained, trailing off. Sasuke rolled his eyes. Really, the sentence wouldn't make much sense to most people, but the Uchiha had been around the Uzumaki long enough to be able to translate the "Naruto-ese". Sighing, Sasuke moved to go down the hallway.

"You're such a moron. Well, either eat it or throw it out, Naruto.. I'm tired and ready for bed." He said. Naruto nodded and quickly ate the rest of the onigiri. Sasuke headed down the hall and went into his bedroom. Upon reaching it, Naruto frowned a bit.

"Umm, Sasuke? How exactly are we supposed to change out of our clothes..?"

~*~

Sasuke lay awake, staring at the ceiling.

SNOORRRRRRRR.

"Dammit.. I don't know whether to wake him up or just kill him." Sasuke muttered, glaring at the figure that lay beside him. The two were spaced apart as far as the damned handcuffs would allow. Luckily, Sasuke had a pretty big bed, so they both fit in it and still had room for themselves. Unluckily, Naruto snored, drooled, and talked in his sleep.

"Damn you, Sasuke.. stupid bastard.." The blonde groaned, rolling over. Sasuke sighed and pressed his head to the pillow, trying to fall asleep. Of course, he was trained to be a light sleeper, and would awaken at the slightest sound.. so how the hell was he expected to sleep in these conditions?!

Eventually, it got extremely late in the evening, and Sasuke couldn't keep his eyes open any longer, snores or not. So he fell asleep, his last thought despairing.

This is gonna be a long, long two days..

~*~To Be Continued...

Alright, so it wasn't incredibly, laugh-out-loud funny, but fairly amusing.. ^^; Hopefully, some good antics will come up in later chapters.. reviews are good! Encourage me! It's not often I write humor, after all.. xD

~TAB