'Disclaimer: Joss n'm own. Me not own. Me make no Money. Me do this for fun.

This was written as part of the humor challenge at allthejellies B/G fic group on livejournal. Check out the other entries.

Author: escargoat

Rating: R – this is by far the raciest fic I've ever written. But the challenger wanted smoochies.

This is mostly a humor fic, but a small section of plot/drama-y slight angst worked its way in, but it was short and hopefully doesn't eliminate the funnies.

Title: Scoobiettoo

Requirements for the fic.

Season 5

Requested by: lawyergirl15

Pg-13 or higher

1. The gang getting tattoos ala Lord of the Rings Fellowship cast (Sorry I only did the core four. I hope that the rest of the fic makes up for this) and Someone fainting because he/she is scared of getting a tattoo

2.Buffy Longing for Giles to get his chainsaw out again.

3. Giles in a red shirt.

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"So, I'm thinking that we should have some sort of official symbol to prove that we're one of the good guys. You know, 'cause we have some helpful but not really 'good' good guys that help us, and we need to be different," Giles heard Xander saying as the older man walked into the Magic Box from the training room.

"Well, I think that it is a silly idea. Why not get those little name cards? You know, the ones that say 'Hi, my name is.' We could get a special insignia on them. Or forget the name tags and go with a secret pin or a handshake," Anya said in contrast to her lover.

"What's this?" Giles asked, intrigued about what on earth they could be conversing over.

Willow turned and smiled at Giles. "Hey, Giles, Xander thinks we should get tattooed with a special Scooby insignia."

"I told him it was stupid. Tell him it's a stupid idea. He'll listen to you. He isn't as dense as Buffy is," Anya pleaded with her boss.

"Yes, well as insulted for Buffy as I am, I feel that I am inclined to agree with Anya. One can often live to regret permanently marking one's body."

"See?' Anya said brightly.

"But, Giles, it's just a symbol of our eternal evil fighting friendship, not a, well you know, not a homing beacon for evil demons," Willow defended Xander.

Giles smiled at Willow. "I would certainly hope not. Rest assured that I did not think you into channeling evil spirits, Willow. I merely suggested that you may not wish to permanently mark your person."

"Yes, the surgery to remove the mark is very expensive. Money doesn't grow on trees," Anya bolstered Giles' opinion.

"Yes, thank you for that trite and often overused statement made popular by parents around America, Ahn," Xander sulked.

"Oh, Xander, I just don't want you to deform your studly and sexy body by some insignificant mark," Anya said as she walked over to put her hand on Xander's shoulder and stare adoringly at him.

"But, it wouldn't be insignificant. It would be the epitome of Scooby-dom," Willow continued the debate with Giles while Anya cooed sweet nothings at Xander.

"I know that you feel that way about it now, Willow, but how will you feel in a few years? How will you feel about it when you've grown older and changed?" Giles asked her seriously.

"How could I regret getting a mark of friendship? I mean, I've been fighting evil forces since high school. I'm not about to just up and wish I'd never been a part of the team."

"I'm not saying that you would regret working with Buffy, but people change. I hesitate to say it, but Riley changed, and others have to," Giles spoke softly and he gently polished his glasses.

"But, but we aren't Riley. We're Scoobies the ones in it for the long haul. The good guys the ones who won't ever…" Willow trailed off as she looked down at the floor.

"Leave?" Giles looked over at Willow with a half smile on his face. "That should prove to you more than anything else how quickly things can change."

"What, what change? I have he distinct feeling that something just went right over my head," Xander interrupted.

Willow ignored him. "But, Giles, this isn't that kind of thing. Its more of a Buffy support thing. We are Buffy supporters. The big four, you know?"

"Oh, then I wouldn't be required to get a tattoo? Well, then get one if you'd like, Xander," Anya quickly changed her tune.

"What?" Giles said bewildered as to why his ally had abandoned him.

"As long as it doesn't look like a bunny, of course, then I'd have to refuse to have sex with you," Anya added a disclaimer to her consent.

"Not that I'm complaining, but why the sudden change?" Xander asked just as confused as Giles.

"Oh, I'm terrified of tattoo parlors. I once cursed this guy, well, he was getting a tattoo on his…"

"OH, yes that reminds me there is, ah, money to be counted in the back, Anya," Giles quickly interrupted her.

Anya's face lit up as she quickly bounced into Giles' office to count the promised lucre.

"Anya is afraid of tattoos?" Buffy asked.

"Hey Buffy, when did you get here?" Willow asked.

"Sometime around the Anya refusing to have sex with Xander part, and I gotta say that you people are desperate for entertainment if you are getting that engrossed in Anya's sex stories," Buffy replied as she plopped down in a chair.

"Yes, well I assure you that Anya's more colorful stories were not what was riveting us to the conversation," Giles defended himself.

"You don't say," Buffy deadpanned. "So are you going to tell me what you were talking about, or do I have to guess?"

"Xander and I thought that the group should get matching tattoos like an exclusive club, but Giles was being curmudgeonly about it," Willow whispered to Buffy.

Buffy looked at Willow for a second. Giles sighed.

"She means that I objected to the idea," he supplied.

"I know what the word means, Giles, I was just wondering when Willow started to become word girl. I mean, first the bookish nerd, then the powerful Wicca thing. I'm kinda checking to make sure she doesn't sprout glasses and a handkerchief."

"Yes, well, I was never a Wicca. I happen to have the wrong sort of plumbing for that," Giles huffed.

"I'm thinking that's a response that we shouldn't analyze too deeply," Xander said after a moment.

"You know, I'm thinking Willow's right, you are acting all cranky today," Buffy supplied her thoughts on the matter.

"Yes, yes. I'm wrong. I'm always wrong. Giles knows Jack," he grumbled.

"You do? Then could you please tell him to quite sending the five ounce bottles of liquid newt blood? They're too big to sell," Anya said as she returned from counting money.

Buffy coughed to cover her amusement while Xander explained to Anya what Giles had been talking about.

"Oh, well, we always have sex when you get cranky," Anya said chipperly. "Perhaps you could have sex with Giles, Buffy."

Rupert Giles at that moment had the strange sensation of having all available blood rush to the surface of his skin. He was, in fact, quite certain that his toes were blushing. "Fine then," he said hurriedly, "get the blasted things. Call me when you make the bloody appointment." With that, he briskly walked away before he proved that one could indeed die of embarrassment.

Buffy looked around at her friends for a second, unsure of what to say. After a bit, she cleared her throat. "So, what kind of design do you think we should get?"

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Buffy, Willow and Xander stood outside of Pete's Painting Parlor as they waited for Giles to show up. Buffy fiddled nervously with the hem of her skirt. "So, where are you guy's going to get yours?" she asked with a nervous quaver in her voice.

"Tara thinks I should get it on my upper arm. So, I'm thinking left bicep, unless, of course, you guys think the right would be better?"

"I'm thinking the left is just as good as the right, Will. Anya said that she thought I should get mine on my lower back. She thinks that the whole butt thing is over done and I didn't want to do the shoulder thing," Xander filled in.

"What about you, Buffy?" Willow asked.

"Me? I'm getting it on the back of my neck. I thought I might as well get something to cover up the scar that's there from my last tattoo," Buffy said as she glanced down the road to see if she could catch a glimpse of Giles' car.

Xander fidgeted, "Is anyone else nervous?"

Willow nodded. "Tara was so nervous that she couldn't go through with it."

Xander grinned, "Same thing with Anya, except I'm guessing Tara wasn't fearing recrimination for past vengeance deeds."

Buffy shifted from foot to foot. "That's silly. I mean, we all face danger on a regular basis. Why would they be scared of a little needle?"

A small scream was heard from inside the parlor. Willow and Xander turned to look at the building.

"Fear is a funny thing, Buff… Buffy?" Xander turned around only to find his Slayer friend passed out on the sidewalk.

Willow smirked at Xander, "I'm guessing this is one of those friendly blackmail moments?"

Xander grinned back. "Oh yeah, unless you think she'd break something if we did, in which case I say we pretend it never happened.

"Agreed," Willow said as she assisted Xander in getting Buffy upright.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Buffy woke up seeing red. Dark red to be exact, dark red silk with a muted sheen woven into the fabric, it had a new silk smell with a musky overtone, musky Giles scented overtone.

"Ah, I was beginning to think that you weren't going to wake up," her Watcher scolded her.

Buffy glanced around in confusion, "Why am I at your place?"

"I thought it best to bring you here instead of home to your mother. I didn't want to worry her or Dawn by bringing you home unconscious."

Buffy frowned in thought. "I thought we were going to the tattoo place."

"We were, actually, we did. Although, we did have to bribe Pete in order to have your tattoo done while you were unconscious," Giles explained as he moved from his perch by the couch where he had placed Buffy over to his armchair.

Buffy cringed. "I was hoping that the whole fainting thing was a hallucination brought on by being beaten up by a bunch of evil fiends."

Giles shook his head. "I'm afraid not. However, I am concerned about your fainting. Is there something that we need to discuss and deal with?"

"I'm guessing that that was fancy Watcher talk for 'Does this have anything to do with the last time you got inked?' And the answer is no. I just sort of asked my father if I could get a tattoo for my thirteenth birthday. He told me stories about horribly disfigured girls who had gotten infections because of tattoos. It sort of stuck with me."

Giles nodded. "Then I don't think we need to worry about it as long as you don't go into any vampire run tattoo parlors for personal body art."

"Hey, speaking of body art, what did you get me? I mean, I know we all agreed to get our own personal Scooby symbol, but I was sort of unconscious when I got mine."

"Yes, well, seems how you weren't awake, I had the artist put a stake plunging into a heart. It seemed fitting with you being the Slayer."

Buffy nodded, "As long as you didn't pick out one of those ugly creatures I have to fight, I'm happy. What'd you guys get?"

"Willow got a laptop with little sparkles surrounding it and a potion bottle. Xander… Xander got a box of donuts."

Buffy raised an eyebrow. "Giles, that wasn't a very good attempt at humor."

"I'm serious. It's quite nice actually, he got it all done in color."

Buffy giggled, "I suppose as long as it isn't bunnies, Anya doesn't care."

"According to Xander, Anya suggested it. There was something about him getting old a flabby and how they'd just look soft and more edible. I honestly tried to tune out most of what he was saying."

Buffy laughed some more and then frowned, "Hey, what did you get?"

Giles simply smiled and stood up. "I think you should probably head home now unless you are going to spend the night."

"But, you didn't answer my question," Buffy whined.

"Nor shall I. I agreed to deface my body. I never agreed to tell with what nor did I agree to tell you where. Let us just say that you shall more than likely never see it."

Buffy stuck out her lower lip and pouted. "I thought this was a whole togetherness thing."

"And it was. Willow, Xander and I carried you into the parlor. Willow held out the bucket for Xander to ah 'barf' into, and I held your head in my lap while they inked your tattoo. It isn't my fault that you weren't awake."

"So Xander and Willow know?"

"Don't be absurd, Buffy. Of course they don't know. However, I believe that the experience provided the requisite bonding required. Therefore, I find no reason to show any of you the mark."

"But, but it isn't fair. There was no bonding for Buffy, only sleepy land. I should get special privileges over the others."

"Despite your truly astounding logic, the answer is still no. Now, why don't you head back to your home and leave your old Watcher to his own devices?"

"Nope. Not gonna happen. I'm going to stick with you until I get to see that mark. Except, of course when I need to go kill something or protect Dawn or any of those other bad things. But, hey, I can research and stuff, and soon I'll be neglecting my obligation to protect Dawn, and you'll feel guilty and show me your tattoo."

Giles sighed. "I think you're taking this too seriously. Besides, your mother needs you around."

Buffy crossed her arms and sighed. "Spoilsport."

Giles smiled fondly at her. "Yes, I suppose that I am. Now, off with you. I have a busy day tomorrow. Anya is having a special sale on newt blood. 'Buy two charms and get a bottle free.'"

"And on that majorly icky ick factor, I'll be saying goodnight," Buffy said as she moved to the door.

"Goodnight, Buffy," Giles said just before the door closed. With a sigh, he gingerly walked to bed.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Rupert Giles awoke to the feeling of being watched. That could, of course, have been because Buffy was perched on the side of his bed staring at him.

"Buffy, is something wrong?" he asked concernedly.

"Nah, if something was wrong, I'd have woken you up. I just thought that I'd wait here until you got up so I could see your tattoo."

"Yes, well it is a pity then that I am more civilized than the average you American male."

"What's that mean?" Buffy asked as her nose wrinkled in confusion.

"I'm wearing pajamas. There is very little aside from my feet and some doubtlessly unappreciated chest hair that you will see that is not otherwise covered by my normal everyday garb."

"Oh, gotcha," Buffy said.

Giles watched her for a moment before he spoke again. "Is there any reason you are still sitting on my bed?"

"I thought maybe you were lying to me in order to get me to go so I wouldn't see anything."

Giles raised an eyebrow at her. "As you can clearly see, I am indeed wearing the top to my pajamas. The likelihood that I am not wearing the bottoms is minimal. Not, of course that you aren't thankful for that."

"What's that mean?" Buffy asked for the second time.

"I am not so deluded as to think that you want to see me in my underwear anymore than you should wish to see your father in his."

"Hey, not true, you are so much better looking than my dad. Not that I think for dad the same way at all, because he's my dad and you're this guy that flew from England to like tell me a bunch of mystical junk, train me to fight, send me out to almost get killed every night and then obsessively write about it like a demented stalker.":

"Are you trying to make me feel bad?" Giles asked.

"Actually… yup that was the plan. Willow thought that if I couldn't get you to show me, I should try guilt. Is it working?"

"Oddly enough, you telling me it was on purpose has erased the burgeoning swell of pathos for you."

"Bummer," Buffy said as she steadfastly remained on the edge of the bed.

"Yes, quite. Buffy, would you mind moving so as I can remove myself from my bed? I have most urgent business to attend."

Buffy glanced at the clock. "The shop doesn't open for another hour and a half."

"I meant that I need to use the bathroom."

"Oh, sorry. I guess I was caught up in our witty banter," Buffy said as she moved off of the bed and promptly turned to observe Giles as he slid out from underneath the covers.

"Disappointed?" Giles said, highly amused by the disappointment on Buffy's face atg seeing nothing but his rumpled nightclothes.

"No," Buffy said hastily, "I mean, I can see your lower left leg, so I know it isn't there. So, not a total loss. See? I'm a smart woman, I don't have to see everything at once, I can just eliminate your body parts one at a time. Soon there will be only a limited number of places I haven't seen naked."

Giles stopped his trek to the bathroom and turned an incredulous face towards his Slayer.

"And, that so did not come out right. Umm, I think I'll be going now. I'll come by for training later," Buffy's words rushed quickly out of her lips before she rushed out of the door.

Giles just simply continued on his trek to use his toilet.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Three days later, Buffy sat moping at the table in the Magic Box. A small diagram of a man from a biology book sat in front of her. Giles' face was pasted to the head and she had inked in every part of his body that had been confirmed as tattoo free.

Anya peeked over her shoulder. "You haven't checked off many places."

Buffy glared at the page. "I never realized how much clothing Giles wears."

"Maybe it won't help. Maybe he got it in a very secret place that you don't want to see, like his ding dong," Anya tried to be supportive.

"His 'ding dong'?" Willow asked from her seat.

"Yes, Xander says I should be more diplomatic when referring to sexual body parts," Anya said with a proud smile.

"I don't think that Giles would have gotten a tattoo on his, umm, you know," Buffy said as she blushed.

"H..he might have. I, mean, didn't you guys say that he used to be a bit of a wild man when he was younger?" Tara asked equally as embarrassed.

Willow shook her head. "But, this is Giles, I'm pretty sure he wasn't drunk, and as long as Buffy isn't in mortal peril or Giles isn't drunk Ripper doesn't come out to play."

"But, maybe seeing Buffy unconscious made Giles all protective and manly and he did something stupid," Anya threw her thoughts into the discussion.

"Wouldn't Giles have been walking funny? If he had, you know…" Willow gestured vaguely to at Buffy's lap.

"What? Had sex with Buffy? If he'd done that, Buffy would know where the tattoo was. I'm thinking Giles is old school and like to be undressed for the big event. Unless he was being adventuresome," Anya finished talking and turned a questioning gaze at Buffy.

"I… ANYA, that is just so, so, so… I don't know what possessed you to say that. There is absolutely no way that Giles has ever thought that way about me," Buffy said a bit flustered.

"Don't look at me, Willow was the one who gestured at you," Anya defended herself.

"I did not. Well, okay, I did, but not in that way. I was just gesturing," Willow rejoined.

"Fine, Okay, I made a mistake. You don't need to get huffy about it. But, still, you have to admit it's a good way to eliminate possibilities."

"I don't think that Buffy is going to try to have sex with Mr. Giles so she can see his tattoo," Tara spoke softly.

Anya rolled her eyes. "Of course she wouldn't, Buffy isn't adventuresome like that. I'm simply saying that maybe she should be proactive and rip his clothes off."

Any responding outcries were cut off by Giles and Xander entering the shop.

"Hey, hey gooey donut and assorted pastry goodness for all," Xander said as he landed a box on the table.

"Oooh, donuts," Buffy said as she began to dig through the box with unusual interest so she could avoid looking at Giles. She was not sure that she could look at him without blushing after the things that Anya had just said.

Tara apparently had the same problem as Buffy bumped heads with the other girl as they tried to hide behind the box. Willow had opted for staring anywhere but at Giles.

"Why do I have the feeling that I was being talked about?" Giles inquired after a moment.

"Because we were talking about you?" Anya supplied helpfully.

"Really? What was so fascinating about our favorite British guy?" Xander asked.

"We were talking about his…"

"We were talking about the tattoo," Willow cut Anya off quickly.

"Oh that, I'd thought you'd given up on that after I woke up with you on my bed, Buffy," Giles chided her as he began to move towards the back of the store to go into the training room. As a result, he missed the interesting shade of red Buffy turned.

"It wasn't like that. And before you ask any more questions, I'd like to remind you that I'm the Slayer and I'm fond of pointy objects," Buffy quickly curtailed any conversation.

"I'm not sure I'd want to go there anyway, Buff," Xander said.

"Me neither," Willow and Tara said in unison.

"I would," Anya blurted out.

Buffy simply groaned and trailed after Giles to the training room.

Ten minutes into their workout, Giles was wondering if there was something wrong with Buffy. She kept looking away when they were training. He was fairly certain that it was not his shirt as she had seemed to like it the night that they had gotten their tattoos, but he was at a loss as to why she would keep looking away.

Disturbed by her behavior, he backed up a bit to call off the session and talk to her. Unfortunately, he did not speak quickly enough and as a result found himself pinned against the wall. The wind was knocked slightly from his lungs as it had taken a bit of motion to propel them from the mat to the wall.

"Buffy?" he queried as he looked at her now glazed over eyes.

Buffy, however, did not hear him. Her hands were busy moving over the front of the red silk shirt he was wearing. Intellectually, she knew that Giles normally wore a white tee shirt underneath his sweaters, but she did not know if he kept the same practice with his business shirts. He more than likely did, so removing it really served no purpose on the hunt for his tattoo, but for some reason, she could not stop herself from continuously stroking the fabric.

"Buffy?" Giles asked a little louder as he tried to get her attention. Her wandering fingers were starting to wreak havoc with his senses and the fact that those senses were clamoring for more was not a good sign.

Buffy heard Giles the second time, but she couldn't get herself to stop. The expensive shirt fascinated her much the same as a shoe sale used to, only worse. She knew that she really, really wanted the shirt, but she did not know why. She only knew that she had to have it. So, she did something stupid and unbuttoned the first two buttons.

Giles eyes widened and his hands shot out to stop Buffy. She simply batted them away until she got to the fifth button at which point Giles became more forceful and Buffy responded by yanking his shirt out of his pants and pulling the remaining buttons out by sheer force.

The part of Buffy's mind that was working logically said that Giles must have paid a lot of money for the shirt if the buttons did not pop off. The un-logical part of her brain was mostly devoted to staring at Giles now exposed chest. He had not worn an undershirt after all, and it was a very nice looking chest.

"Buffy Summers, what the hell are you doing?" Giles irate voice snapped her back to reality.

"I..I'm looking for your tattoo," Buffy quickly lied as she spun her Watcher around and pulled his shirt completely off of his body. With a partially longing glance at his shoulders, she was out the back door before he could say another word.

Shocked, Giles looked around befuddled at what had just happened. He dazedly walked back out into the shop, pulled his suit jacket on over his naked torso, and walked out the front door.

Anya smiled and grabbed a pen. "I guess we can mark in Giles' upper half then."

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

After patrol that night, Buffy sat in her bedroom. She had been too embarrassed to go to see Giles, so she had come straight home. She did not know why she had acted the way that she had. She only really knew that somewhere deep inside she had a matching need for Giles the same way that he had a need for her.

It was not something that they ever discussed, and Buffy had assumed that it was just one of those Watcher-Slayer things. Of course, she had never really felt that way about Merrick, but then, she had not really felt that way about Giles until she was in college. Not that she had never been possessive of Giles before then, but that had been different.

She could not really explain it because she had pretty much ignored Giles at first, but the less time she had spent with him, the more she had considered him hers. Poor Olivia had pretty much gotten the brunt of Buffy's irrational feelings, and Buffy had felt so guilty about the things she had said to her Watcher that night that she resolutely stayed away from what she considered her primal Slayer need for her Watcher.

She had stayed away very well until she decided to rip his shirt off.

Buffy sighed and pulled the shirt out from underneath her pillow. She fingered the soft material in a movement not unlike a caress. She could still see the way Giles looked in the shirt. She could envision the way the curls of his hair had lain on his head because of his exertion during their training that day. She could still feel his chest underneath her fingertips only separated by the thin material she now had in her lap.

But for all of those things, she could also see his eyes. She could see all the pain and the anger and the sorrow she had caused him through her deeds.

She was at heart a selfish creature, and she knew that she could not take Giles with her. She knew that she loved him. She knew that she was in love with him, but she also knew that she could not risk taking him with her. So tomorrow she would go apologize for embarrassing him. He would be angry with her and a bit hurt, but he would forgive her and life would go on.

But tonight she was going to snuggle up to her Giles' scented shirt and pretend that he was as attracted to her as she was to him.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

"I can't bloody stand it anymore," Giles whined to the thankfully normal bartender.

"Yeah?" Mike asked in his friendly bartender way.

"One moment I don't exist, the next, I'm the answer to all of her problems. But that isn't half as bad as getting teased like that," Giles muttered unhappily not really caring that Mike did not know what "that" was.

Fortunately, Mike knew from years of experience what "that" meant. "So your girl isn't ready to go all the way? My suggestion is that you need to make her feel safe and comfortable. Let her know that you aren't going to leave."

"She knows I'm not going to leave. I'm like a stupid puppy, I just keep going back waiting for recognition," Giles laughed darkly.

"Oh, I thought she was a girlfriend. I didn't know she was a friend, friend. That requires a whole different speech," Mike said as he refilled Giles' glass.

"Oh, and what bloody priceless information would that be?"

"Well, you need to let her know that you're interested, some dames just don't know what they're doing to you. They can be kinda blind."

"She isn't stupid," Giles bit out.

"You must have it bad. You always defend her like that?" Mike smirked as he asked.

"It's my job," Giles mumbled as he took another swig.

"I'll take that as a 'yes.' Look maybe she's flirting with you because she wants to know if you dig her, and all you're doing is getting all depressed over nothing."

"I sincerely doubt it. Lets just say I'm not her type. I'm a bit too old looking."

"She's younger and likes younger guys?" Mike said in a consoling tone.

"No, she just likes them to look younger. I'm fairly certain that she doesn't discriminate based solely on age."

"Whereas you have no 'type' that she could possibly compare herself with?"

"Well, I suppose that she's only really seen me with brunettes… What are you some sort of barroom psychologist?"

Mike leaned under the counter and pulled out a picture frame. "I'm a proud graduate of Sunnydale's fine college. I've got a BA in psychology and a BS in sociology."

Giles snorted and pulled out money for the tab and a tip. "I'll have to remember that you are indeed full of BS then."

Mike grinned. "You going to go talk to your girl then?"

"Perhaps, I think though, that I should be somewhat more sober before I do. Buffy doesn't like it when I drink."

"You've got the hots for the Slayer?"

Giles turned and stared at Mike.

"What? I know Willy." Mike said off of Giles' look.

"Bloody Hell," Giles muttered as he stalked out of the bar.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Buffy shivered as she stood outside of Giles' doorstep. She had skipped training that afternoon in order to avoid a scene with the others around. Now she was nervously twitching from foot to foot waiting for Giles to answer his door. His shirt was freshly cleaned and folded and was currently being clutched very tightly by her hands.

"Hello, Buffy," Giles greeted her as he answered the door.

Buffy smiled and slipped in. She abashedly held out his shirt to him. "I cleaned it. I thought it was the least I could do after I, well…"

"Ripped it off of my sweaty body in the training room?" Giles supplied.

Buffy blushed. "Did you have to mention the sweaty part?"

Giles smirked. "I thought that you liked the sweaty part. I'm not really sure why else you decided to take it with you. It really isn't your color, and a used shirt wouldn't make a good gift."

Buffy eyed Giles warily. "Have you been drinking?"

"Not since last night."

Buffy cleared her throat. "Ethan wasn't there, was he?"

Giles stepped closer to Buffy. "No, why do you ask?"

"Because you're acting strange?"

"How so?"

Buffy laughed nervously and backed up a couple of steps. "You're acting very non-Giles like."

"And what would that be like?"

"You're acting all suave and, and…"

"And what?" Giles asked softly as he continued to advance on Buffy.

"Seductive?" Buffy squeaked out as she backed rather roughly into Giles' wall that separated the living room from the kitchen.

Giles chuckled. "I'd say that the extra training has paid off. You're much more perceptive than you used to be," he whispered into her ear before grabbing his shirt and backing away.

Buffy stared at him in shock. "That was a TEST!" she yelled outraged.

"No, this is," Giles said quickly as he set down his shirt spun around and closed his mouth over hers.

Buffy instinctively responded and soon found herself battling for control of the kiss. It lasted for a while. Giles used his superior knowledge while Buffy used her more limited knowledge combined with youthful enthusiasm and Slayer power. Eventually, Giles lost and had to come up for air.

Buffy stood panting her eyes not leaving Giles' eyes. "What was that a test for?"

"Pardon?" Giles asked dazedly as oxygen flow had not quite returned to his brain yet.

"You said that that was a test. What for? How long I could hold my breath?"

Giles laughed. "No, it is much simpler than that. I'm afraid I wished to know if you found me attractive."

"I'm afraid that you aren't going to like the answer," Buffy replied.

Giles frowned at her. "I find it very hard to believe that you could kiss me like that and not find me the least bit sexually inspiring."

"It's not that."

"Then what is it?"

"I can't do this to us. I can't hurt you like that Giles."

He nodded slowly and looked at her with understanding. "Did you ever think that you are hurting more by not being with me? I've had my heart broken several times, Buffy. I'll not lie to you that it hurt, but I survived. And you were the one who broke it the most by staying away. Do you know how much I secretly wanted to strangle Riley?"

"I thought you liked him, well, more than Angel anyway."

"Angel never kept you from me, parts of you, yes, but never the whole. I hated him, but I understood him. Riley was too selfish of a creature for me to abide. I suppose that I hated him more because he could have all of you, and that was what I wanted. Angel could never have you in the sunlight. Riley could. Does that make sense?"

Buffy shook her head then smirked at Giles. "What other kind of stuff do you lie about? If you could hide how much you hated Riley, what else are you hiding from me?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Giles responded with a smirk of his own.

Buffy broke out into a grin. "Well, I know that you're hiding something underneath your clothes."

Giles blushed and unconsciously tugged at the hem of the sweater he was wearing.

Buffy's eyes widened. "Giles!"

He pulled his glasses off and furiously polished them. "I..I am a man, Buffy. I can't help but have a natural reaction to being kissed senseless by a beautiful, blonde woman."

"I was talking about your tattoo," Buffy paused for a moment, "You think I'm beautiful? Or was that a general statement to be applied to all blondes?"

"You specifically. I'm afraid that I don't really have a specific feature type. I prefer women that are stubborn and strong willed and outrageously beautiful."

"Whereas I prefer tall, broad shouldered guys that fight evil. I think we make a good pair," Buffy said too cheerfully as she approached her Watcher.

"You do?" he asked.

"I do. In fact, I think we make such a good pair that I think I'm in love with you."

"You are?"

"Yup. What about you?"

Giles felt himself grin stupidly. "I love you dearly."

"Good. Then you won't mind if I take your pants off," Buffy said as she simultaneously unbuttoned and unzipped his pants.

"Buffy!" Giles blushed.

She walked quickly around him, but to no avail. "Where is it? Did you get it on you toosh? Anya wasn't right was she? You didn't get it on mini-Giles there, did you?"

Giles huffed in indignation. With a quick move of his hand, he hiked up the right leg of his boxer shorts. High on the inside of his thigh was a tattoo of a sword and a pair of glasses. Buffy's name was written in script down the blade.

Buffy leaned down to take a closer look. "You know, another girlfriend might be seriously wigged to have my name so close to the family jewels."

Giles shifted uncomfortably. "I suppose it is a good thing then that my seduction went so well today then."

Buffy popped back up to her full height. "I guess so," she said as she pulled him in for another kiss.

Giles pulled back and looked into her eyes. "So you really did like me all 'sweaty'?"

Buffy grinned. "It was definitely of the good. But then, so was the chainsaw. I liked that. It made you look so manly and studly coming through that door. It makes me horny just thinking about it."

Giles swooped in for another kiss. He was in the middle on moaning when Buffy pulled away herself.

"Giles, do you think that you could get that chainsaw out again?"

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The End.