The windows of my soul I throw
Wide open to the sun.
John Greenleaf Whittier, My Psalm
TITLE: "Windows of My Soul" (see quote above)
AUTHOR: Episkopos Reverend Alixtii O'Krul V of the Church of St. Jesu the Heretic, Discordian
RATING: PG-13 (for sexual situations and language)
SUMMARY: After examining new intelligence, two members of the reforming Council of Watchers come to a very alarming conclusion about a certain mad vampire.
PAIRINGS: Riley/Sam, Willow/Kennedy, and Buffy/Immortal. (Because that's where we are in canon). Implied B/A and B/S, with the emphasis on the latter, but since Buffy and Spike can't meet for continuity reasons, you're spared those 'ships if you can't stand them. S/D, of course, especially in flashbacks. F/S. Riley/OC. Lydia/OC.
SPOILERS: Pretty much all of Buffy and Angel, with the possible exception of some of the events in the last few episodes of Angel. There may be spoilers for revelations found out in the series after this fic takes place (mid-season 5, see below), but no actually knowledge of the events of those episodes will be presented (except maybe by Drusilla).
TIMELINE: Chapters in the "present" (December 2003) take place after "Lineage," during the events of "Destiny," "Harm's Way," and "Damage." This means that at the beginning of the story, Wesley is on his leave of absence (in "Destiny," when in real life Alexis Denisof and Alyson Hannigan were busy having their honeymoon), that is obviously true. However, since "Destiny" aired in November and "Harm's Way" in January, there's a little problem figuring out the timing. In "Harm's Way," Fred asks Spike where he's been, saying it has been days (presumably since the events in "Destiny"). Since two months is a little more days than I think Fred could have meant, I'm going to have my story span both "Destiny" and "Harm's Way" and take place in the month of December (a compromise between November and January, see?). I might even throw some Christmas-y elements in
So let me make it clear in the following fashion: Spike is solid, Andrew is in L.A., and it's still only December 2003. However, as of Chapter 10, Lindsey has not appeared to Spike as Doyle yet (and so Spike doesn't have his apartment), which means that Andrew has only just appeared in L.A.—possibly earlier than was implied in "Damage" and for reasons not immediately connected to the events of that episode. Compendre?
Heck, even that makes more sense than having "Consequences/Just Rewards" taking place 19 days after "Chosen" and then "Life of the Party" be set during Hallowe'en.
This is NOT an AU.
While I have nothing against AU's per se, I do feel that an AU has to earn its AU-ness, and its chief focus should be to clarify aspects of the canon Buffyverse by putting them in contrast with a type of counterpoint. (Thesis plus Antithesis equals Synthesis, y'know. Just ask Hegel.) Nyxie's "Jewel Tones: Five Faiths That Never Were" is my idea of a good AU. I haven't posted an AU here yet, and when I do, I promise it'll be more than rampant wish- fulfillment. (Not to deny that there's a place for wish-fulfillment in fanfic. You'll find more than a little of it in this fic.) It's important for me to stay within canon unless I have a very, very good reason to stray.
(I won't even mention those AUs where the characters are in completely different situations—Elizabethan England, rock stars, or all human—but retain the names from Buffy. As far as I'm concerned, that's not Buffy. I don't understand why people write them, and I don't read them. Not that I would ever disrespect those who do choose to write and read them—I just don't claim to understand.)
It's been very difficult to keep this story within canon. Halfway through writing this story, I found out Lydia—one of my main characters—was in the exploding Watcher building. This was probably the biggest obstacle, but there are small ones too: figuring out the timing (see the nightmarish "Timeline" section above), keeping Buffy from finding out about Spike, etc. Faith and Lydia can know about Spike, because I seriously doubt we'll ever see anything in canon to convince us they didn't know. Similarly, I doubt canon will give us anything to contradict my claim in this story that Lydia survived the Watcher explosion—most likely, we'll just never see her again, which means my story could very well happen. If you're curious as to how and why Lydia survived, stay tuned: future flashbacks (is that an oxymoron?) will make some things clear while posing new questions. (It took me a while, but I did finally come up with a solution that made me happy. Of course, if I had known she was dead at the beginning, I would never have started, which would have been the easiest solution of all.)
FEEDBACK: Please. Medium of exchange and all that, y'know. Not afraid of bad reviews, so flame away. After all, at least then I know it is being read, even if not enjoyed.
SHAMELESS PLUG: For more of Caitlyn Love, see my "The Academy," which was started when a reviewer of this work asked me if she was a Slayer or not. Beth Daniels will probably turn up in my "Divine Interventions" which is connected to "That Old-Time Religion" and "Olympus." I recommend all of those stories, but please read (and review!) this one first. It's my baby—my epic—my one true love, as far as stories go.
DISCLAIMER: Same as always. I don't own these characters; Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy do. They're in better hands with him than with me anyway. Technically, Reginald, Solomon, Jezebel, Catelyn, the Romani woman, the priestesses, John Walsh, Franz the Nazi, and a handful of other characters are my creations, but they don't make much sense outside of Whedon's universe. He's welcome to them as long as he credits me in some way.
DEDICATED TO: Juliet Landau and Cynthia LaMontagne, two guest stars whose characters made this story possible.
Previously on Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer
A playground and a predator. She makes her way through the playground, remembering the way her mother would play for her--before the woman's brutal murder.
She's called Drusilla, a sometime paramour of Spike's. She was killed by an angry mob in Prague.
Well, they don't make angry mobs like they used to, 'cause this girl's alive.
And the predator's predator, the Slayer, who watches as the predator approaches her prey.
Run and catch...
The predator and her paramour enter a factory. They face a small child, whose youthful face belies his power and his importance. The Annointed One.
"Me and Dru, we're moving in," Spike says.
Run and catch...
It is a hundred years earlier. Two predators watch their prey: three sisters, all in a row like the maidens from Mistress Mary Quite Contrary's nursery rhyme.
"She has the Sight," the female says to the male.
"Visions," the male answers, considering. "She sees the future. She is pure innocence."
I did a lot of unconscionable things when I became a vampire. Drusilla was the worst. She was... an obsession of mine. She was pure and sweet and chaste...
And you made her a vampire.
First I made her insane. Killed everybody she loved. Visited every mental torture on her I could devise. She eventually fled to a convent, and on the day she took her holy orders, I turned her into a demon.
"Black sky! It wants a little wormy me. No! No!"
"What is she doing here?" Darla asks. "I thought you killed her."
"No," says Angelus, "just her family."
"Eyes like arrows...like needles!" the girl calls out. No one takes notice.
"This one's special. I have big plans for her."
"Snake in the woodshed! Snake in the woodshed!"
The lamb is caught...
"He's with me," Buffy says. "He has a soul."
"Oh, he's like Angel?"
"No!" Spike spits out in indignation.
"Sort of," Buffy admits.
"I am nothing like Angel."
"He fights on my side," Buffy says. It's clear that that is all that matters. "Which is more than I can say for some of us."
You know, I started it. The whole having a soul. Before it was all the cool new thing.
Oh, my god, are you twelve?
"Poor Spike," Drusilla says to him. "So lost. Even I can't help you now."
...in the blackb'ry patch.
"Gotta move, lamb. I think it's fair to say, school's out for the bloody summer."
"Spike."
"I mean it. I got to do this."
Their hands meet, flame erupting from them.
Do you remember the song mummy used to sing me? Pretty.
"Sir, we are crippled," Lydia tells Travers.
"It's all right, Lydia. We are still masters of our fate, still captains of our souls."
And then the Council building....explodes.
I remember.
"You win," Lilah says. "We're moving out. The senior partners are ceding this territory to you, and to prove it, they want to give you controlling interest in our L.A. Office. You get the building, assets, personnel, letterhead, paper clips, all of it. It's yours to do with as you see fit."
Did you miss me, my pretty William?
"Spike?" Wesley asks.
"Spike," confirms Angel.
"Blondie bear?"
(Special thanks to the Buffyverse Dialogue Database for the dialogue here, and used throughout the story.)
DRAMATIS PERSONAE, CASTED
(in order of appearance, up to Chapter 11)
Drusilla: Juliet Landau (BtVs Season 2, Recurring)
Darla: Julie Benz (Recurring)
Spike/William the Bloody: James Marsters (BtVS Seasons 2-7, AtS Season 5)
Lydia Chalmers: Cynthia Lamontagne (BtVS "Checkpoint" & "Never Leave Me")
Buffy Anne Summers: Sarah Michelle Gellar (BtVS Seasons 1-7)
Dawn Summers: Michelle Trachtenberg (BtVS Seasons 5-7)
Riley Finn: Marc Blucas (BtVS Seasons 4-5)
Sam Finn: Ivana Milicevic (BtVS "As You Were")
Faith: Eliza Dushku (BtVS Season 3, Recurring)
Rupert Giles: Anthony S. Head (BtVS Seasons 1-7)
Willow Rosenberg: Alyson Hannigan (BtVS Seasons 1-7)
Kennedy: Iyari Limon (BtVS Season 7)
Andrew Wells: Tom Lenk (BtVS Season 6-7, AtS Season 5)
Amanda: Sarah M. Hagan (BtVS Season 7)
Quentin Travers: Harris Yulin (Recurring)
The First Evil: Harris Yulin
Ethan Rayne: Robin Sachs (Recurring)
Gwen Raiden: Alexa Devalos (AtS Season 4)
Eve: Sarah Thompson (AtS Season 5)
Lilah Morgan: Stephanie Romanov (AtS Seasons 1-4)
Roger Wyndam-Pryce: Roy Doltrice (AtS "Lineage")
Lindsey Macdonald: Christian Kane (Ats Season 1-2, 5)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Alexis Denisof (BtVS Season 3, AtS Seasons 1- 5)
Krevlornswath of the Deathwok Clan: Andy Hallet (AtS Seasons 2-5)
Angel/us: David Boreanaz (BtVS Seasons 1-3, AtS Seasons 1-5)
.DRAMATIS PERSONAE, UNCASTED
(in order of appearance, up to Chapter 11)
Reginald Kilroy
Jezebel
Solomon
Romani Woman
Yr-a'k-tran Priestess
Catelyn Love ("The Academy")
Beth Daniels
John Walsh
Franz the Nazi
Cassilda the Vampire Slayer
Cassandra the Vampire Slayer
Young Maggie Walsh