What I Know

An Amon drabble. 

I know we are all lying to ourselves.  A "craft" is merely witchcraft, just put to better use.  "Craft-users" are still witches; the only difference is what side they are on.

            I know Robin is a witch.  She'd killed people with her powers, and she was growing stronger and stronger.  I knew it would happen from the very beginning.  And yet I could not truly see her as a witch.  Two, no, three times I've tried to hunt her.   Hunt her because she was a witch.  Hunt her because they said she deserved it.  But I could not bring myself to do it.

            I know Kate deserved to die, so I felt no guilt or pity when I was ordered to hunt her down.  Kate was a witch in every aspect.  But when I look at Robin…though I know she is a witch, a part of me just cannot accept the truth.  Every interpretation, impression, connotation of the word "witch" does not fit her.  Everything I thought I knew throughout my career was burned to ashes.

            I knew it, but I did not believe it.

            I was close, so close.  I had the gun in my hands, she was in front of me, I could have shot her at point blank range and everything would have been over.  But I could not pull the trigger.

            I'd failed to hunt her.  Touko was harmed as a result, perhaps scarred for life.  But I did not feel any hatred for Robin, and I found myself unable to harm her in return. 

And then I saved her.  Leading her down, down through the secret passages, a thought formed in my head: What am I doing? 

            I knew what I was doing.  I did not know why.

            Come to think of it, I'm not entirely sure what our relationship would even be classified as.  Are we partners, friends, lovers, father-and-daughter figures?  It does not matter.  But I cannot deny that there was something that captivated me.  From the first time we crossed paths, when our eyes first met, there was an attraction.  It pulled me into her, even when I knew that there may come a time when I would have to hunt her as well. 

I tried to ignore her.  I neglected her.  I scorned her.  And when I came back, she was still there…waiting for me.  Trusting me.

            She is so mature for her age, and yet there is an innocence about her; no matter how dubious her past and motives, she is only a child underneath.  Her ego did not exceed her powers, and that is what makes her different.  That is why I cannot see her as just another witch.

            But power corrupts.  I've seen it before.  As Robin's powers grow, her desire to use them will expand as well.  I've grown to fear it.  I despise the fact that the same blood flows through my veins; susceptible to corruption and evil once awakened, I shy from the truth. 

            I may be hunted someday, just like Robin.  She might have to kill me.  And I will do the same for her.  If or when the time comes, I swear I will save her from herself.

            I can only hope I have the guts to pull the trigger.