Enigma

Enigma

Nouvelle

Part 1: Return

Wow. Been a long time since I first wrote this. And can I tell you I'm sort of ashamed. Lol. I had to update the story cuz I rewatched Cowboy Bebop and realized I made some mistakes. Too me this long to realize it. Pweheh. Oh well. This was my first fanfic. Amateur but I think I did pretty well for myself. Geh. I sorta wanna redo the whole story. For those who haven't read it enjoy. For those who have. No sequel. Lol. I'm fresh out of ideas for Bebop. Maybe in a few years there will be one though. Who knows.

Spike was alive.

He came back like he promised he would.

All beat up and everything.

You can imagine my surprise when I walked into the living room of the Bebop with a banged up looking Spike sitting there on the couch.

Now, I assure you that I have the utmost trust in Spike. If he says, 'Later,' we will see him later. No ifs, ands, or buts. But after going to the site of the battle and seeing the ruins that were left, you'd understand why I thought Spike was dead.

I had been 'coincidentally' passing by in my Red Tail when I saw what was left of the syndicate. I immediately went back to the Bebop to relay what I had seen to Jet. Then I spent the rest of the day locked in my room trying to keep my sobs down.

It wasn't as if I was in love with Spike. It's just that if one of the few people who ever cared about you died, you'd be sad too. Okay, he may not have really cared about me after all the times we've argued, but none-the-less, I know that somewhere in his heart I was a part of it, even if just a little.

It was natural of me to assume he was dead, so when I saw him there, lounging about, I screamed bloody murder.

"Shit Faye, what the hell's wrong with you? No friendly hello?" Spike questioned, wincing at the volume my voice reached.

After standing there, dumbstruck so that I was silenced for more then a minute, I exploded. I guess it was the only thing I could think of doing, especially if he was going to be so casual about the whole thing.

"Hello? You've been gone for a year and you expect a hello? You bastard."

Yes, you heard me right. He's been gone a whole year. After the first three months of moping about, I finally was able to get into a routine that was of some semblance to my former daily habits. That was to wake up, get some coffee, shower, get dressed, and then lounge about all day till a bounty came up. I moped around here and there but it wasn't as bad as before. I became accustomed to things, but I guess it will have to change.

This was not something I had planned or even expected.

Heck, did anyone ask me if I was emotionally ready to see Spike again after a year of thinking he was dead? No.

"Where the hell have you been?" I asked.

That's the best my mind would let me come up with at the moment, but I assure you I had plenty more questions in my mind buzzing around like annoying bees.

"Around." He answered me, his gaze flickering down taking in my ensemble.

I had just woken up, hadn't had my coffee, and the only thing I was wearing at the moment was my bathrobe since I had been planning to shower once I had my daily dose of caffeine. Too tired and groggy, and not having the decency to blush at his stare, I brushed past him into the kitchen with him staring at me the whole way. From where I was, I could smell the alluring aroma of a pot of coffee steaming away on the stove. I figured Spike must have made it since Jet, Ed, and Ein were out getting info on the next bounty.

Did I mention that Ed and Ein were back also? I guess not.

Ed came back to us a couple months after the 'death' of Spike. Jet and I had decided we would try to break it to her gently but wouldn't you know it? She didn't even bother to try and understand. Apparently to Ed, Spike was still alive and off somewhere doing what he does best. She talked to Ein every couple of days saying, 'I bet Spike got the bad guy.'

You don't know how many times I wanted to throttle her just for suggesting he was still out there.

For giving me hope.

Wait, I'm still not in love with the man I tell you. I'm not.

Once I had finished my coffee, I went back into the living room; renewed, refreshed, and ready to yell my little heart out.

But Spike wasn't there.

I stopped cold. Had I been imagining things, was it his ghost, was I going crazy?

I figured it must have been all three, and rather than panic, I decided to make my way to the couch and just sit there, with my eyes closed and just... think.

Maybe I should tell Jet about what I saw. He'd either believe me and say that it was Spike's ghost coming to haunt us, or he'd stare at me with his level gaze and ask what I've been smoking.

I'd rather not bother, and pretend that nothing was out of the ordinary and go back to my almost normal daily routine. When I opened my eyes however, I was met with a pair of discrete mahogany eyes. And once again, I screamed for all I was worth.

"Damn it Faye," Spike cursed. "Stop doing that unless you want me to go deaf."

My eyes in return narrowed. "What did you expect me to do? I wake up, to find that you're not dead. Then after coming back from the kitchen you're not here anymore. I figured you must have been a figment of my imagination then low and behold, I open my eyes to see your face only a couple of inches from mine."

Shit, tears were starting to form at the back of my eyes but I refuse to let this man see me cry. I quickly got up and made my way to the bathroom. As long as I was clean and dressed in something at least more decent than a bathrobe would I be ready to talk to the insufferable man.

I turned the water on at full blast so it could pelt away at the angry tears that were streaming down my face. At that moment I was angry at everything. I was angry at Spike for just walking back in as if nothing was wrong. I was angry that Ed had been right about Spike being alive. I was angry at Jet for not being here. Hell, I was even angry at the dumb mutt.

See, I was not in love with that callow jerk.

I turned off the water and stepped gingerly out of the shower and put on my bathrobe. I made my way to my room and got dressed in that one outfit everyone can distinguish me by. Poised and ready in my killer boots, I huffed my way out and into the living room where Spike was now sitting with his hands on his knees apprehensively.

Wait... was he nervous? The cool, calm, lazy jerk was nervous? I would have laughed outright if I wasn't still so mad. Then again, seeing him like that calmed me down. So Mr. Indifferent was human.

"Faye, we need to talk." Spike started out, right after I had taken a seat in front of him.

"Of course." Okay, so far so good.

Spike sighed. "I don't know where to start," he confessed.

"Wait," I said, stopping him. "Before you tell me where you've been, I think you should wait till Jet and Ed get back. It's only fair they be here to hear it also."

Spike nodded absently to himself as if he had been the one to come up with the idea. Selfish egotist.

Now that we've decided when the discussion of his mysterious whereabouts would take place, I decided to do a little talking of my own.

"So, since you've obviously been alive this whole time why didn't you come back sooner?" I questioned. It seemed like an easy question to answer to me but he just had to go and turn it around in my face.

"Why? You miss me?" Spike asked, giving me a cheeky grin.

Oh how I would have loved to slap that smile right off his face. He probably was just waiting for me to explode at him and deny it, but I shocked us both by actually telling the truth.

"Yes."

Who knew that that one little word could cut through the room and make it silent? I didn't at all feel comfortable with how the tension in the room spiked after I had quietly uttered that three letter word. And then guess what?

I cried.

Here I was. After promising to not cry in front of him, letting my silent tears fall down my face. It's a little weird cause I wasn't bawling or even making any noise. I just sat there calmly while the tears pooled in my eyes. Maybe I've gotten so use to weeping that I no longer need to even think. The tears will just come out whether I want them to or not.

"Faye?" Spike asked startled to see me cry over something he had intended only to be a joke. I bet he wasn't expecting this. But hey, now we're even, I certainly wasn't expecting him to be sitting on the couch this morning.

Spike made his way over to me. Gingerly, he reached out to touch my cheek. I didn't move and the tears didn't stop. He wiped away gently at my damp cheeks then pulled me to him. Quietly he gathered me in his arms and held me.

"Shhh." He whispered into my hair as I held onto him. He smelled like soap and coffee, and something entirely him. I breathed deep as the tears began to dissipate. Strange, I never thought Spike would ever comfort me, much less hold me. But I guess he felt guilty in his own way for making everyone suffer while he was gone. Comforting me was probably his way of repenting for making me cry over the loss of him when I still thought he was dead.

As wonderful as it was being in the arms of the man I didn't love, I didn't want his pity, never from anyone and certainly not from him. It hurt more to think he was just hugging me to make me stop crying. I pulled back slowly, not wanting to leave, but having to leave all the same. I felt safe in his arms. Warm, safe, protected, and... loved. But I knew that Spike didn't love me.

When I finally pulled away I kept my face down. I didn't want him to see my face. My eyes were probably all red from crying and I was probably going to start to hiccup in a few moments.

I moved to step away but his fingers found my chin and tilted my face upward to his. My gaze met his and in his one natural eye I could see an emotion swirl in there. Concern. His other eye stayed neutral but no matter how unnatural they were, I had no problem staring into his eyes. I could probably get lost staring into them but I wasn't about to test that theory.

"I need to go wash my face." I excused myself, pulling out and stepping away from his lithe form. I couldn't move away any further however because his hand had grasped mine and his vice-like grip said he wouldn't let go.

Gently I tugged at my hand. "I'm just going to the bathroom, I'll be right back." I reassured him as I saw the wavering uncertainty in his eye. How unlike him. I guess this past year has changed all of us.

Silently he nodded and slowly let go and I was finally able to leave and rinse the salt from my face.

Spike seemed different. Still the selfish bastard he had always been but a little nicer. I wanted him to stay that way, for us to stay this way. But I knew that once Jet and Ed returned, we would go back to the way we were before. Before Julia was killed, before Spike disappeared for a year. We would yell at each other, and argue, and break some of Jet's things. He'd go back to not really caring about me and mope over Julia. And me?

I looked up into the mirror.

I was in love with him.

Hahahahahaha... So? Cool huh. Maybe I should just end it? Nah, that'd be boring, but I wouldn't mind some ideas about what to do next. I am new at this hence the name. I hoped you enjoyed it though.

Love & Peace