Twas the night before Christmas, and boy was it weird
CC hit menopause and was growing a beard.

Senile Yetta, at the Sheffields house, thought she was on a plane.
Sylvia was yelling at her and driving everyone insane.

Fran was whining at Max to propose
As Max said no, Fran's therapy bill grows.

Bryton was sulking dateless and pathetic
Sylvia needs to hit the can, she accidentally took a Diaretic.

Niles was dusting and teasing Ms.Babcoc
Fran ate too much, and now feels like Schlock.

Maggie was kissing her boyfriend on the couch
Bryton was spying under the coffee table in a slouch.

Grace was speaking mature for her years
Val got sick of living with parents,and moved into an apartment full of queers.

The pharmacist treated Fran's 'nausious-making' rash
To you this may sound unusual, but it's just an ordinary Sheffield bash.