Author's Note (2-12-07): First, I've been away from this story for much too long. I'm back now though and for those of you still reading, it will be finished. I also wanted to point out that extensive revising has been done to all chapters for continuity reasons and minor changes in the plot. Also, some scenes have been lengthened and many added, but mostly in later chapters. Thank you and hope you enjoy!
CHAPTER ONE: REMINISCENCES
Carth glanced over the Twi'lek's shoulder restively, looking for Revan. The nameless Twi'lek was reciting every tale he knew about the decorated war hero, but Carth hadn't heard a word, though his occasional 'mhmm' and 'right' seemed to be enough to keep the Twi'lek animated in the conversation. Right in the climax of the tale of the final battle on the Star Forge, Carth excused himself, retreating to the darkest corner of the room, hoping to pass the rest of the evening relatively unnoticed.
People had slowly streamed into the reception room all night, itching for a glimpse of their heroes. Since early morning a line had steadily accumulated outside the hotel's doors. Carth was happy to see that the people supported them, but this was getting ridiculous. He recognized some of these faces from their last stop on Kuat.
Almost immediately after the Star Forge the Council sent Bastila, Jolee, Juhani, and Revan on a series of month long appearances and ceremonies. Carth had to report to Coruscant for debriefing before proceeding to Telos to meet up with Dustil, Mission and Zaalbar returned to Kashyyyk to see how Freyyr was faring with the Czerka, and Canderous flew the Ebon Hawk back to Tatooine to collect on a strange shipment they'd delivered to Motta from Korriban. A week and a half ago, Mission, Zaalbar, Carth, and Canderous got suckered into heading out on a small celebratory tour. Carth had hoped then that they might be joining back up with the rest of the crew, but his hopes had been unfounded until tonight.
He focused his gaze on the front door, knowing a commotion would begin once Revan and the other Jedi arrived. Since the destruction of the Star Forge nearly four weeks ago, Carth had seen Revan once and that had only been in passing. She left Coruscant the day he arrived for debriefing and he'd no more than looked at her before Bastila ushered her onto the ship. When Carth asked Bastila about the Council's reasoning for all the publicity, she confirmed it was just a stunt to save the council from too much disapproval for concealing the true fate of the former Dark Lord of the Sith and to prove that she was truly redeemed. But Carth had his own suspicions.
A hand suddenly slipped itself onto his shoulder, and he was reluctantly snapped out of his thoughts. Turning, he faced a concerned Mission.
"You know, you really shouldn't drink too much of that stuff," Mission said gesturing toward his tankard of the local drink, "Canderous says its got more kick than Tarisian Ale."
Carth didn't say anything in reply, but instead stared down into his glass at the brownish liquid.
"She's just as miserable you know," Mission offered, slightly frowning at the older man's appearance.
"And how would you know this?" Carth asked making a face as he downed the ale in one big gulp. It burned the whole way down and then some.
"Told ya so," Mission laughed. "I talked to Jolee this morning. You know how he likes to complain. He went on and on about her moping around all the time."
"You spoke to Jolee? So they're here then?"
"Yeah, they arrived this morning. She's here, Carth," Mission assured him.
He once again began searching the room, but found no need; his ears led him straight to her. She had no more entered the room and a tumult was triggered. As if she belonged, she stood shaking hands with the Governor and smiling for the crowd. Her dark hair was framing her face freely instead of up in that ridiculously short ponytail of hers, but it fell in a deeper contrast with her pale skin than usual. Carth had to look closely to see it, or perhaps he just knew what to look for, but he noticed how forced her motions seemed, how her eyes portrayed a different story than the airs she put on and how miserable she really was. People were flanked around her, all of them desperate to meet the savior of the galaxy and get their autoprints signed. Carth shook his head.
If only they knew.
Revan felt his presence the moment she entered the door, but she couldn't see him for the throng of people surrounding her. She quickly latched onto Jolee out of sheer habit, as she'd done for a solid month now. Attending ceremonies with the nobles and politicians wasn't exactly her idea of a month of rest and relaxation as the Council had put it. She was sure she could vouch for the entire crew of the Ebon Hawk when she said she would rather be back on the front lines dealing with the many pockets of Sith resistance or at least completing missions from the Council, even if they were only minor. But nevertheless she was stuck here and made a habit of following Bastila's example, smiling for them all. Every few seconds she looked up, her eyes searching the room for a glimpse of him, but without success. She spotted Canderous standing off to the side away from the commotion, nodding his salutation. Sighing, she gave him a strained smile and turned her attention back towards the crowd at her feet.
One more appearance, she silently whispered to herself, only one more.
Jolee suddenly drew closer to her, and she could barely make out his words as he whispered them in her ear. Her eyes suddenly darted to the far right corner of the room, the most dimly lit area. She saw Carth there leaning against the wall watching her, tumbler in hand, as he flashed that lopsided grin that made her dissolve.
As soon as the reception ended, Jolee went to the enclave to give the Council his two cents. But knowing them, he thought, I'll probably have to throw in the whole damn roll of coins.
"I don't approve of this," Jolee voiced his opinion briskly. "He saved her. I know you would like to think it was the code and her training, but I was there on top of that temple. For a moment I feared that Revan may have been considering Bastila's offer. I could feel conflict within her and for a solitary moment the dark side was winning. I think that had she not had something to fight for she might not have succeeded, but once we were back to the ship, I knew my fears were unfounded."
"Something to fight for?" Vrook asked in obvious disgust, "She had the whole of the Republic resting on her shoulders. Was that not something to fight for?"
"I do not approve of this either," Juhani added, coming to stand beside Jolee, "I sensed this as well."
"She has made a commitment to the code and you know attachments are forbidden. This we cannot allow." Master Vrook stated.
"Remember your past, Jolee. This could end in the same fate," Master Vandar stated quietly.
"That was under completely different circumstances," Jolee said a little too defensively. "I somehow don't see Commander Onasi running off to join the Sith." He calmed himself before continuing, "But that is beside the point. After everything you've done to her and everything she's done for you, you're going to deny her the one thing that could truly make her happy? I'm not sure where the Council's heads have been, but she's miserable. Surely you've seen this."
"If she would find refuge in the Code," Vrook replied.
"Hmph. You obviously don't know Revan then. She'll leave the Order before she submits to this cockeyed plan of yours."
"We will deal with this, Jolee," Vrook stated gruffly, officially ending the discussion. He looked over at Bastila who'd not uttered a word in the debate. "Bastila, if you would please summon Revan, we wish an audience with her."
"So what do you think you'll do now with the tour almost over and everything?" Mission asked Revan as they made their way down the long, dimly lit corridor to their rooms. They'd left the reception as soon as possible and headed for their quarters; Revan wanted to change out of her ceremonial garb before seeking Carth.
"I'm not too sure," Revan sighed, "The council hasn't really mentioned anything as of yet."
"Oh," Mission responded as they rounded the last corner of the hallway just before turning into Revan's quarters. "I thought you might have made plans with-"
Revan stopped abruptly, forcefully colliding with someone.
"-Carth," Mission finished.
Carth grabbed Revan's shoulders, softly pushing her back just enough so that he could see her face. A few strands of her black hair had fallen into her face. Gently, he tucked the strays behind her ear and became transfixed on her eyes. He recognized the melancholy swimming within them. It was parallel to his own.
He smiled, easing his arms around her waist. "Easy there, beautiful."
Revan stared up at him wrapping her arms around his neck and returning his smile. "You know, you should really watch where you're going there, flyboy."
"Well," he replied with a smirk, pulling her closer to him "I was really hoping to run into you."
Revan grinned, realizing just how much she truly missed this. For Revan, just being in the same vicinity as him sent a wave of calm splashing through her. Calm had been as foreign to her as the Sand People dialect these past few weeks, and she reveled at the thought of having it back again. These past few weeks had been frazzling for all of them.
"Really guys," Mission interrupted, scrunching her nose. "Get a room. You're sounding like one of those sappy old holovid romances."
Bastila cleared her throat as she came up behind them, Jolee chasing after her in close pursuit. "I hate to interrupt," Bastila began, "but the council wishes to speak with you, Revan."
Revan sighed deeply and lowered her gaze to the floor. If the council was summoning her at this hour then it was undoubtedly important. She leaned into Carth, suddenly not wanting to let go of his presence.
Glaring at Bastila coldly, Carth tightened his arms around Revan protectively. She buried her face into his chest and let out another long sigh. Damn Council, Carth thought as he noted how fragile Revan looked, they've been in control of her life for the past month, can't they see how thin they're stretching her?
"I'm sorry, but we really mustn't keep the-" Bastila stopped abruptly upon seeing the searing glower Jolee was giving her. Bastila had felt Revan's sudden calming as well and she now began to fidget anxiously with her robes. Revan hadn't felt this at peace since the end of the war.
"Dammit, can't you give her a moment's peace?" Jolee demanded of Bastila, "The council can wait; they've had her at their every beck and call for a month now. She more than deserves some time on her own."
Carth couldn't ever remember a time he'd been so happy to hear the old man say anything. He was really hoping he would get the chance to talk with Revan about the way they left things after the Star Forge. He wished they'd had this discussion a month ago but the Council had already claimed her attention then, and now when it looked like he would finally get the chance they were intervening again.
Revan smiled softly, she didn't want to leave him but she knew she had to. "I have to go with Bastila to see the Council, Carth. If they bothered to summon me this late, then it must be important."
It was Carth's turn to sigh. It went against his every desire, but if she felt it for the best then it probably was, "I suppose you're right, and I wouldn't want to get you into any trouble with the Council." He pulled her into another embrace and murmured into her ear, "Just don't leave without letting me see you this time alright?"
As Revan followed Bastila and Jolee out of the hotel, she cast a sideways glance at Bastila. Revan could sense much conflict within her, but dediced to wait until after they spoke with the Council to question her about it.
Revan didn't know what the Council wished to speak with her about. She was hoping to get a chance to talk to Carth about their future together tonight, but it seemed that every opportunity was somehow thwarted. Since the Star Forge she had seen Carth once, and they'd hardly had time for a conversation. Although they'd admitted their feelings, there were still so many things to be said. Never had they spoken of what would come after, but instead focused on making sure there would actually be an after.
Upon entering the Council's chambers Revan immediately sensed the hostility Jolee emitted toward them. He gave Revan a weary glance and settled himself next to Juhani in the farthest corner of the room, where Bastila joined them. Revan suddenly felt uneasy.
"It is good to see you again. We trust that you are holding up well?" Master Vrook asked her.
"So far I have," Revan answered. The council summoned me for this? "But I sense that you've called me here for more that a mere exchange of salutations."
"You always were perceptive," Master Vrook declared, "We've called you here to inquire about your plans."
"Have you made any?" Master Vandar questioned eyeing Revan curiously.
"I have no set plans," she replied cautiously. But only because I've not had the time to make them.
"You mean you haven't made any arrangements with Commander Onasi? Interesting." Mr. Vrook interjected.
Commander Onasi? This is about Carth? "Uh, noMaster, I haven't," she paused, "But may I inquire as to why?"
"The Council has a task for you to complete."
Anything to get out of this damn tour.
"If you will report to us in the morning, the Council has much to discuss. Until then," Master Vandar dismissed her.
Revan left the enclave confused. Neither Bastila nor Juhani were offering any helpful information, so Revan turned to Jolee.
"Jolee, what in the hell was all that about?"
Jolee laughed, "Never were subtle were you? Hmph. Subtlety doesn't get you far anyway, not like a lightsaber wil-"
"Old man, you're rambling, what do you not want to tell me?"
"I thought we went over this already. How many times do I have to tell you before you get it? I'm entitled to ramble dammit, and if there's something I don't want to tell you, you won't hear it."
Revan rolled her eyes. That was it then. When Jolee made up his mind about something there was no changing it.
They walked the rest of the way in silence, and Revan decided to wait until Bastila was alone to ask her about her emotions. Revan never thought she would get used to the bond they shared, but it had proved useful on more than one occasion. She looked at the younger woman beside her, trying to read her expression. Bastila was utterly confused about something. Revan slowed down, pulling Bastila back with her, waiting until the other Jedi were out of earshot.
"Bastila, are you alright?"
Bastila's face remained neutral, but Revan felt a wave of apprehension run through her, "I... yes. I am fine."
Bastila attempted to catch up with the others, but Revan caught her arm, "Look Bastila, I know that something's going on with you, but I'm not going to pressure you into telling me what it is. Just know that I'm here whenever you need me, okay?" Revan offered a small smile. Whatever Bastila was dealing with worried her. She was fighting against herself.
"Thank you for the offer, Revan, but I am perfectly fine," Bastila replied briskly, before stalking off.
Revan sighed, making no attempt to catch up with the others. It was a pleasant night and something about Alderaan always cleared her mind. She ambled leisurely back towards the hotel, enjoying the slight breeze that danced across her cheeks as she found her thoughts returning to reminiscences of a certain Republic soldier.