Defying the Fates
Chapter 8
Lifting her chin, Hermione waited for the explosion. Severus looked away from her.
"You," his voice was icy the coldness permeated her being, "you had that bastard's child? You would betray me with the man I hated most in this world next to Potter?"
He was trembling with suppressed rage, his hands clenched tightly into fists.
"It was the only way. You would have died…"
"I would rather have died!" he growled at her.
"But you didn't," she said coolly, though she was shaking with uncertainty inside. "because I did have 'that bastard's' child."
Turning to look at her, he sneered, his voice full of venom. "Not only did you break the laws of the Ministry and of nature, you shamelessly used that boy."
"I never."
"You used him like an ingredient in a complex potion, forcing him to master spells beyond his years," he accused.
Hermione flushed. "I…he wanted to help you."
Severus walked over to the fireplace, his fingers caressing a picture of Adrien and Alex. "No matter whose child he is, he didn't deserve to be born only to be your pawn. Alex would come into my room at night and tell me he was so sorry. Sorry that he was so thick, sorry that he didn't learn faster. I heard him cry," he turned to look at her, his eyes dark and accusing. "I heard him berating himself for not being good enough. How could you?"
Hermione paled. "I didn't realize," she mumbled. Putting her face in her hands she began to weep. "I am so sorry," she moaned.
Severus tried to steel his resolve against the heart-wrenching sobs. All the loneliness, weariness and heartache she had felt over the years burst forth and an overwhelming sorrow for how she had treated Alex finally consumed her. She did love Alex, but how had she harmed him by using him so She felt two strong arms encircle her, a hand stroking her back as Severus held her.
Gripping the front of his robes, she buried her face against him and wept harder. He held her, allowing her to cry herself out. No matter how angry he was he couldn't stand seeing her hurting so badly. Finally her sobs ceased and she hiccupped.
"Hermione." His voice was soft, almost gentle. "I am sorry."
She pulled back and looked at him. "You only pointed out the truth," she sniffed. Tentatively she asked. "Have you forgiven me?
Staring into her eyes he shook his head. "No. Not yet. You must give me time to think. It would be best if I leave for awhile."
"Don't go," she whispered.
"I will let you know where I am staying," he told her firmly. "Goodbye, Hermione."
After he had left, Hermione collapsed on the sofa, sobbing.
Adrien sat on the floor beside the door of his bedroom, the book he had forgotten earlier clutched in his hand, his heart pounding.
Alex was working on his Astronomy assignment in the library between classes when he noticed Adrien approaching him. He waved at his brother to join him.
"It's all your fault," Adrien hissed when he had drawn closer.
"What?" Alex looked up at his brother, annoyed. "I haven't gotten into trouble recently."
"It's your fault Dad's gone."
Alex stared at his brother. "Are you daft? Dad just wanted time to think."
"Dad needed time to think about you because…because you aren't his!"
Alex noticed Madame Pince staring at them. "Sit still and keep your voice down," Alex said angrily. Adrien sat and crossed his arms, glowering at Alex.
"What is your problem? Have you taken a befuddlement potion? Of course I am Dad's son." Alex shook his head and snorted. "If you are quite finished having your fun I need to work on this essay…"
"I am telling the truth, Alex." Adrien's eyes flashed dangerously reminding Alex of Severus. "I went to our rooms to get the Transfiguration homework I left behind and I heard it all."
"Heard what?"
"Mum telling Dad about you, that you are the one that released him from the curse." Adrien watched as Alex's face drained of color.
"Don't know what you're talking about," he muttered.
"You did, didn't you? And the only way you could was if you were of the right bloodline," Adrien said smugly.
Alex's eyebrows met in the middle as he frowned. "What? You are making no sense."
"Dad was cursed by Bellatrix Lestrange who was a Black before she married."
"I know that."
"No one could remove the curse and that seemed odd if you think about it. Professor Dumbledore and Aunt Minerva are very powerful. Why couldn't they? It was because only a blood relative can remove a blood curse."
Alex brushed his raven hair out of his eyes and narrowed them at his brother. "I don't believe you," he said firmly, though there was a note of fear behind his words.
"Why didn't Mum teach me to remove the curse? I am older than and just as clever as you. She didn't teach me because I couldn't do it. She had to teach you because you are a Black."
There was a moment silence before Alex laughed softly. "Good one, Adrien. You had me going for a moment. But you goofed. If you were going to say I was someone else's child you should have chosen Uncle Harry or someone. There aren't any Black men alive and haven't been since before I was born."
"That's why Mum used a time turner. She had to go back in time to when a Black was alive."
"You really are creative," Alex said, amused. "And just whose son am I supposed to be?"
"Sirius Black's."
Alex's eyes flashed fire. "That's not funny using Uncle Harry's dead godfather. You know, if this insane rumor got back to him it would make him feel very bad."
"I can prove it," Adrien said quietly.
Alex eyed him cautiously. "All right. Prove it."
Adrien got up and motioned for him to follow. Standing behind a nearby bookshelf, Tom Flint felt like Christmas had come early.
"In here," Adrien said, walking over to the cabinet where he had seen his Mum put the Pensieve. He pulled out the bowl and carried over to the table.
"What is it?" Alex asked.
"It's a Pensieve. It holds your thoughts and memories. Mum put those concerning you and your father," he sneered, looking very much like Severus for a moment. "in here. You know that thoughts put in a Pensieve cannot be altered."
"I know," Alex said testily. "I have read about them, just never saw one. Well, let's get this over with so you can have your laugh."
"I am not laughing," Adrien retorted coldly. "Stick your head in and you will see."
Eyeing him skeptically, Alex took a deep breath and plunged his head into the Pensieve. Adrien watched closely. After several minutes Alex stood upright.
"So?" Adrien demanded smugly.
Alex turned to look at his brother. Adrien flinched at the ashen face before him, tears streaming down the boy's cheeks. All of a sudden he wished he hadn't told Alex. "Alex, are you all right?"
Shoving his brother aside, Alex sprinted to the door slamming it behind him.
"Damn," Adrien said, lugging the Pensieve back to the cabinet, feeling lower than a Flobberworm.
Blinded by tears, Alex ran through the halls, ignoring the remarks of the students he bumped into. His heart felt like it would burst if he didn't get out, get out of this place. Tearing down the front steps he ran across the grounds as the cold rain pelted him.
"Remus."
Remus looked up from the papers he was going over in the small room he used as an office. "Yes, Regina."
"I think you need to come with me. There is something you should see."
Curious, Remus followed the young witch to the entranceway. "Out there. What do you make of that?" she asked, pointing to the door.
Confused, Remus looked out the peephole in the door. Standing on the sidewalk in the pouring rain was a young boy dressed in robes. The boy paced several steps in one direction and then the other. When he raised his face to look thoughtfully at the space, Remus gasped. "Alex?"
Opening the door, Remus hurried down the steps. "Alex Snape?"
Alex turned to look at Remus, relieved that he had found the right place. "Mr. Lupin." He said through chattering teeth.
Gripping the boy's arm, Remus ushered him inside. "What on earth are you doing here?" he asked quietly once they were in the door.
Shaking, Alex looked around at the dark high ceilings. "I needed to speak with you, sir."
Regina looked at Remus curiously. "So, you know our young guest?" she asked gently.
"Yes. This is Hermione's youngest, Alex." Remus looked concernedly at Alex. "Before you explain to why you are here we need to get you out of those wet things."
"No, I just need to talk to you," Alex said desperately.
"Your mum and dad will have my head if you catch your death. Regina, would you mind?"
Regina smiled and took Alex's hand. "Come with me and we will find you something."
Alex pulled away from her. "No. If I leave you will floo mum and then I won't be able to ask you…what I need to."
Remus rubbed his chin. "All right Alex. I promise I will not contact your mother, on my word."
Alex returned soon dressed in a long gray nightshirt of Remus' and wearing thick woolen socks. Remus sat a steaming mug of cocoa in front of him as he sat down beside him. "Now then Alex, what is so important that you made the long journey to see me?" Remus asked kindly.
Flushing, Alex stared down at the table. "I need …I want to know everything about Sirius Black. You were his best friend and it's important that I know."
Startled, Remus wasn't expecting this. He had heard rumors that Severus was currently staying at the Leaky Cauldron and he suspected that he and Hermione were having problems and that perhaps that was the reason Alex was here. "Alex," Remus said gently, "yes I was friends with Sirius and would be glad to tell you about him, but couldn't something like that have waited until the holidays? You could have written to me." Putting his chin in his hands, Remus' brow furrowed.
"No! It couldn't wait." Alex looked at him with bright eyes and launched into the story. When he had finished, he wiped his nose on the back of his sleeve.
Thunderstruck, Remus cleared his throat. "Alex, perhaps Adrien was playing a prank on you. A rather nasty one but a prank nevertheless. It is impossible…"
"It isn't. I saw it in the Pensive and that doesn't lie, does it?"
Running a hand through his hair, Remus tried to think. "I suppose not." Did Hermione really go back in time…He racked his brain. The woman at the Three Broomsticks that day, yes, he remembered her. Dear Merlin, just like Alex described.
"Alex."
Whipping around so fast that the chair threatened to overturn, Alex gaped at the tall figure of Severus Snape standing in the doorway. "You lied!" he turned accusing eyes on Remus.
"He did not lie, young man," Severus said firmly as he walked into the room. "And you will address Mr. Lupin with more respect. I believe you asked him not to contact your mother, not your father."
"Yes, sir," Alex said gloomily, his eyes on the toes of his socks.
"Remus, would you kindly leave us?"
Standing, Remus walked around the table. He paused and placed a hand on Severus' arm. The two men exchanged a look of silent understanding. Severus sat down in Remus' vacated chair.
"Alex, explain why you thought it necessary to run away, causing your mother concern and to inconvenience Mr. Lupin."
Flushing, Alex looked down at the table. "Why do you care?" He asked defiantly, though his voice cracked.
"Look at me." Severus commanded
Obeying, Alex stared at the man he had thought was his father all these years.
"Now then, what did you say?" Severus asked quietly
"I said why do you care what happens to me? It's not like you're my father." Alex's dark blue eyes flashed with anger.
Studying the boy, Severus ran one long finger across his lower lip. "I care because until this pass week I believed you were my son," he said firmly. "And regardless of that fact, I am concerned for your welfare."
Alex bit on his lower lip and Severus was reminded of Hermione. "How can you?" Alex blurted out. "You left Mum because of me and Adrien hates me."
"First, I did leave your mother because she hid your paternity from me but not because of you. I am upset with her because she lied. Second, I seriously doubt Adrian hates you. He is hurt and confused, like you are." Severus dark eyes locked with Alex's. "Do not take the blame for this situation, Alex. This is not your fault."
"But…"
"It is not your fault," Severus repeated in a tone that brooked no argument. "Now, let us go back to your original question of why I care what happens to you. Let me explain why I most certainly do.
"When I was under the curse I could still hear. I must admit as time went on it was hard to distinguish between reality and dreams. What I do remember is your Mum bringing you to my room two days after you were born. She told me she laid you on my chest. I had no feeling in my body but I imagined what it felt like to have you against my heart and I loved you."
Hermione stood outside the door weeping against Remus' shoulder as they listened to the conversation.
"In my mind I watched you grow, knew when you took your first steps, said your first words. I remember one night when you came into my room scared that the snorklehorn-tailed gully monster was after you when you were five," Severus continued the faintest of smiles on his lips. "Do you understand Alex? Regardless of who is you biological father, in my heart you are my son."
Blinking fast, Alex stared at Severus. "Truly?"
"Truly."
"Shall we?" Remus asked gently. Hermione nodded and they entered the kitchen.
"Mum!" Alex was in her arms in seconds as Hermione hugged him tightly, kissing his head.
"Alex, I am so sorry," she wept silently, squeezing the boy. "Will you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," came the muffled reply.
"You know I love you." Alex nodded.
"Well then," Remus said brightly. "It is getting late and I think it would be best if you stay the night. Severus?"
"Thank you, Lupin. I shall floo the castle and let them know we found Alex and are staying."
"Severus," Hermione said softly. "Tell Harry to bring Adrien here tomorrow, if that is alright with Remus."
"It will be perfect," Remus agreed.
Severus and Hermione looked at each other. "Harry has a right to know too," she said. Severus nodded and moved to the fire to send the message.
"Now then young man it is time for bed. We all have much to discuss tomorrow," Hermione chided gently. "I will tuck you in."
Alex looked at Severus. "That is my job tonight, Hermione," he said with a small smile. He placed a hand on Alex's shoulder and they left the room.
Remus let out a chuckle. "I never in my wildest dreams pictured Severus as the paternal type, but he did a damn good job tonight."
"Damn good indeed," Hermione said, her heart full of love for Severus.
"Sit. I will make us some tea." Remus busied himself at the stove a minute while Hermione sank down into a chair. He sat a cup of steaming tea laced with brandy in front of her. She sipped it gratefully. Remus sat beside her and smiled gently.
"All right, out with it," Hermione said haltingly, expecting his disapproval over Alex.
Remus chuckled softly. "I think you are the bravest, cleverest woman I have ever met. You took an impossible situation and turned it around." He raised his cup to her. "Yes, it was tremendously foolish and dangerous but what is life without chance?"
Hermione gave a nervous laugh. "Then you aren't upset…about Sirius?"
Remus placed his hand over hers and looked sober. "I thought I was being overly sentimental the first time I saw Alex. He reminded me so much of Sirius at that age." He looked her in the eye, a sad smile on his face. "I think Sirius would be very happy to know you had his son," he said gently.
"Thank you, Remus," she said gratefully feeling his true acceptance of her.
He smiled and patted her hand. "It's been a long day. I had Regina prepare a room for you and Severus on the fifth floor." He winked at her.
"I will tell Severus," she said slowly, "though I will be staying with Alex."
"Damn, Hermione. I forgot…I hoped the rumors weren't true."
Standing, she bent over and kissed him gently. "It will work out."
After checking on Alex, Hermione looked for Severus throughout the house. An old toothless man greeted her warmly and told her he had seen a man going up the stairs leading to the fifth floor.
Climbing the short flight of stairs she walked down the hall to a set of double doors. She knew he would be there just like he had been so many, many years ago. Opening the door she saw him. Hands gripping the iron barrier enclosing the small area, he leaned out looking down into the streets below. The wind made soft ripples through his long silver hair.
Seeing him standing there, Hermione's thoughts were transported back to that night during her seventh year, the night that had changed her life forever…
The night had been long and one of strained nerves for those gathered in the kitchen at Grimmauld Place. It was Christmas Eve, a night of peace to all those outside the Order. To those in this place it was a night of nightmares. Voldemort had launched a vicious attack on the Ministry, waiting until the place had been almost deserted because of the holidays. They had already heard through the Floo network that over half the Aurors had been slain as had the Minister.Molly Weasley scrubbed the already spotless table for the tenth time, talking about anything and everything trying to divert the others' attention. Ginny was playing with Crookshanks, her face pale. Hermione, Harry and Ron tried to pacify Molly by pretending to play a game of Exploding Snap while exchanging dark glances.
Suddenly there was noise upstairs and the portrait of Mrs. Black began screeching. Molly clutched the table and then ordered them to stay put as she hurried out of the room. They followed on her heels, anxious as she was. The entryway was crowded with weary, bruised and some bloody faces. They looked somber and worried and Hermione gasped as she saw the still form of Albus Dumbledore being levitated through the door.
"Take him to my room," Remus said hurriedly, "It's the closest." Several people followed them down the hall, some Hermione had never seen before.
Molly gave a small cry and flung her arms around Arthur when he entered followed by Bill and the twins. The door opened again and Severus walked in with a whirl of snow. "How bad is he?" he asked quietly.
Arthur sighed, still holding Molly tightly. "It's bad, Snape. He should be in St Mungos but herefused to go. I don't know how he is still alive."
A gasp from Ginny drew attention to them.
"You four need to be in bed," Arthur said sternly. "This is not for children."
As Ron and Harry opened their mouths to protest, Bill laid a hand on Arthur's arm. "Leave them be, Dad. They are as invested in this as anyone and they are of age." He smiled sadly. "Except Ginny."
There was a cry in the other room and Remus stepped out. "Molly, we need you." Molly, Arthur and Bill hurried to the room. George and Fred looked at each other then turned to them. "Come on, let's go have a butterbeer and we will fill you in," Fred said. "There's nothing we can do here." Ron, Harry and Ginny followed them back down the stairs towards the kitchen.
Hermione stayed staring at Remus' closed door. "If Dumbledore dies, what happens then?" She hadn't even realized she had spoken out loud until a soft cold voice replied.
"We continue fighting." She looked up and saw Severus still standing by the door, his face ashen and his mouth drawn tight.
"But Dumbledore is the only one Vol…Voldemort fears and…" She was interrupted as Lupin's door opened again and Molly, Arthur and Tonks stepped out. Molly had her face in her hands weeping loudly. Hermione's heart sunk. Glancing at Severus she saw a look cross his face, something akin to grief. He walked past her and disappeared up the staircase.
"Hermione," Arthur called, patting his wife on the shoulder. She walked quickly to them.
"Is…is Dumbledore…"
"No," Arthur said, relief clear on his face. "He will be fine, just fine. The worst is over." Hermione knew he was speaking more to Molly than to her. Tonks smiled broadly and half tripped over the couple as she said she would go tell the others.
Hermione's smile was contagious and she sagged with relief as she watched Tonks disappear downstairs. Something tugged at her and she wanted to tell Severus that Dumbledore would be all right. The sounds of excited relief and laughter soon faded away as she climbed the stairs, searching each floor for the elusive professor. About to give up, thinking that she had missed him on his way back down, she remembered the widow's walk on the topmost floor.
He was there, standing still as a dark gargoyle watching over the castle and its occupants. The snow swirled around him, covering his shoulders, and she could tell his hair was soaked, clinging to his neck and head. Shivering against the cold night air, she tentatively walked over to him.
"Professor?"
"He is dead." The voice was as cold as the night air.
"No," she said softly.
Hermione watched as the stiff shoulders slumped and his head fell forward. Only the slightest of movements made her realize he was crying. Her heart lurched. This man, her formidable, often nasty, professor was crying. Shyly she moved to stand beside him, placing a gentle hand on his arm.
"Leave, Miss Granger," he said harshly, though his voice was not as strong as usual. "I am sure you will delight in telling the others that the Slytherin bastard is capable of feelings."
Shocked, Hermione stepped closer to look at his face. It was unreadable and except for the faint redness around his eyes she would have sworn she was mistaken about him crying. "I would never do such a thing," she said firmly, her mouth set. "And I resent you saying such."
"Do you think I care?" he said mockingly.
"Yes, I believe you do." She could see he wanted to retort, to be the same nasty Professor Snape that terrorized his classes and was confused when he only shook his head, his expression softening.
"Hermione Granger, annoying know-it-all," he said, and her eyes widened at the soft humor in his voice. "Do you know what I am thinking about right now?"
"No," she said surprised by his question, her teeth chattering as she wished she had brought her cloak. "I don't know everything."
"You are cold," he said quietly, opening his cloak and encasing her in it, pulling her close to him. Startled at the gesture, Hermione soon relaxed and leaned against him, savoring the heat from his body. Her head was on his chest and she could feel his rapid heartbeat. Never had she expected anything like this.
"Professor?" she asked after a few minutes in this warm cocoon. "What were you thinking?"
She felt his chuckle vibrate in his chest. "Always with the questions."
Pulling away from her, he looked down at her, his dark eyes glittering in the faint light from the streets below. Placing one long finger under her chin, he tilted her chin up and his lips met hers in the briefest of kisses. She stared at him; her cheeks flushed, her own heart racing. "Go in," he said quietly. "I will be along soon."
She went in, confused and warm, touching her lips in wonderment…
Six months later he asked her for tea, one year later they married.
Walking over to him, just as she had so long ago, she placed her hand over his, feeling how cold his skin was. "Come in, Severus. Remus has prepared a room for you."
His other hand covered hersHe turned to look at her and Hermione's breath caught at the look in his eyes. Removing his hands from hers, he placed them on her face, one long finger gently stroking her cheek as his eyes looked piercingly into hers before he lowered his face. His lips captured hers in a gentle yet fierce kiss. Slowly his tongue traced her full lower lip before sliding into her mouth. Their tongues danced and fought for dominance until Hermione whimpered, pressing her body tightly against his. Severus broke the kiss and cupped her face in his hands Without a word he took her hand and led her down the stairs across the hall and into the room.
Silently they undressed each other The only sounds were the sharp intake of breaths, the little moans of approval as hands greedily touched and savored skin. When they both were naked, he swept her into his arms and carried her to the bed. Reverently he laid her down, his eyes dark and intense, burning for her. Climbing into the bed, he propped his body on top of hers, delighting in the heated skin beneath him as his lips found hers again. Teasingly he kissed her over and over while his hands caressed, fondled and worshiped her.
"You are trembling," Severus said with a small sly smile.
"Yes," she choked out her voice thick with emotion and lust.
"Just like our wedding night," he chuckled. "I feared I was going to have to give you a Calming Draught before you shook the bed down."
Hermione smiled. "I was so afraid of disappointing you, much like I am now."
"Ah, yes. Every man is so very disappointed to find a virgin wife in his bed. Silly girl," he said fondly, nipping on her neck. "You have never disappointed me, especially in this area."
She shivered at his silky voice, tears threatening to spill once more. How she loved him. All those years she had missed him, this, the teasing, the closeness, him. "I love you, Severus," she said quietly, brushing her hands through his hair.
With a throaty growl Severus claimed her lips kissing her passionately as his knee parted her legs. Exploring fingers found her wet and needy and he positioned his erection at her entrance. With a thrust they joined, her body tight and molten around him. Steadying his breath, he looked down at his wife, his beautiful, loyal wife. "And I love you, Hermione," he whispered as he began moving within her.
Their emotions were soraw from the week's events and the long years that had separated them it only took minutes for them to reach the peaks of their love. With a shout Severus spilled his seed within her as she clung to his shoulders, gasping his name. Shaking with the intense emotion that had passed through him, Severus kissed her face over and over. "My brave, beautiful wife," he murmured against her throat. "I never want to be separated from you again."
Hermione could only nod as she held him close to her, wanting to feel him, not believing he was really here, alive and well, and forgiving her. Rolling off her, Severus gathered her close, vowing to make up for all the lost time.
AN/Sorry for the slow update and thanks to the lovely Niamh for her excellent beta services.