Warning: This fic contains slash pairings. Male/male relationships. And,
also, mpreg. Don't like, don't read. If you don't mind this, read on.
There's a warning on the summary of this fic, why would you even click on
it if you don't like either of these two things?
Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter. If we did, I would place dibs on Draco Malfoy. I know, I know: Who wouldn't? LOL. All characters belong to JK Rowling, except Veronica Malfoy and Rea Potter. They're ours. Don't steal em, please. We love em too much.
A/N: Shea here! This is just a little *cough* *huge* *cough* story that my co-author Shaylee thought up, and we've been writing together. It's all the plot babbits and REAL Elvish Coin of Doooooooooooooom's fault! This is our first attempt at a slash fic, and quite frankly, we're a bit scared that we even wrote it. Please, oh please, don't flame us! We are at the mercy of evil plot babbits, they're slave drivers! They made us write this, I swear, they're holding our sanity ransom. Read, review, and brace yourselves for this LONG, strange, scary thing that we call a story. *Braces self for barrage of flames that we will inevitably get for this horribly long fic* And, just as a note, the other chapters after this, won't be near as long if you guys don't want them to be. We're on Spring Break, and we had some spare time, that's why this is so long. If we write long chapters like this in the future, expect it to take a long time to update. Just a little warning. Now, on with the story.
Chapter One: Memories
"Happily ever after," said the dark-haired man, as he closed a rather large book of fairy-tales and put it on the shelf beside the bed. His green eyes looked down on the small girl with curly, raven-black hair. Her eyes were closed with sleep. His little girl...he had one hand intertwined with hers, small and pale, more pale than any skin he had ever seen, save one others'. He kissed her curly hair and sat there for a moment, a smile on his face, as he watched her chest rise and fall. There was almost a sadness in his eyes, behind the wall of happiness that one would see at first glance. He loved his little girl with all his heart. With a smile still on his face, he stood, turned off the light, and shut the door. Slowly, almost mechanically, he went down the stairs, and the smile seemed to vanish off his face. Weary, he collapsed on the couch, his head in his hands, and slipped off into his own little world.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(Flashback)
There he sat. The silk sheets, the bed, a smile on his face...and they were just talking, for once. He looked over at his companion, who at this moment was laughing, in hysterics. He fell off the bed with a loud cry, and yet still he was laughing. He found this strange. Not too long ago he'd have thought it impossible for his companion to laugh. After all, he had always had a sneer on his face before, hadn't he? He looked down at him, amusement in his eyes. The blonde haired boy mock-scowled at him, and pulled himself back up onto the rather large bed. His silver eyes held a laughter that rivaled his companions.
"Harry," he said, gasping for air from laughing so hard. "You really shouldn't make me laugh like that. It is hazardous to my health. I don't see how you haven't died from it by now! I mean..." he said, then he started laughing again.
"Wow. I think this has been our first real conversation in forever. Do you remember the last time we talked this much, Draco?" Harry answered. Draco shook his head. The two boys doubled over in unstoppable laughter, their faces flushed and their eyes shining with amusement. Harry had never been so happy in his life. (End Flashback)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
He shook himself out of his reverie as quickly as it had came, and trudged off towards the kitchen, his intent to get something to eat before he got sick from the memories. He got to the freezer and pulled out some chocolate ice cream, grabbed a spoon, and ate it straight from the carton, not caring if Ginny would mind or not. He really didn't care about anything at the moment. It was 10:56 PM, when he dropped the spoon down on the cherry tabletop, and his head followed suit soon after. He fell asleep with his day clothes on, consisting of a pair of worn out jeans and a blue long sleeved shirt, the light was on, and the ice cream was melting.
He woke up around 7:30 in the morning, swearing silently as he saw the time on the microwave clock across the room. Fixing his glasses, that hung lopsidedly off his face, he ran up the stairs, tripping more than once in his half-sleeping daze. As quick as possible, he took a shower, changed his clothes, and woke his daughter up. He dressed her, sitting her down at the table, and got her breakfast (a bowl of cereal drenched in milk, since he was hurried). He ran out the door with her behind him, and got into his mini Copper. Fumbling for a minute, he strapped her into the car seat and drove down town to a small school. It was a wonder he hadn't wrecked by the time he got there; he had been going 75 in a 40 mile-per-hour zone the whole way. Kissing her on the forehead, he said a rushed goodbye, before pushing her hurriedly into her classroom.
By this time, he was already worn out. But he drove down to his job, at the Central Grill and Pub where he worked as a bartender. As soon as he got there, he quickly downed a glass, then with a small smile, he set to work. His days were always like this, he was used to it by now. Rushing was second nature to him.
The day was uncommonly slow, to him the hours seemed to creep by. It was about lunchtime when, to his surprise, Ginny came by. 'Oh, great way to add to today's already great stresses.' he thought, annoyed. He felt like banging his head against a wall, but put a smile on his face, to make her happy. She was a good person, really...she had probably just got off from work, her nurse shift he was sure, was long and tedious, so he really had no right to complain. She greeted him with a kiss; he almost sighed.
"Hello, hunny! How are you today?" Ginny said, grinning from ear to ear.
"Hello, Ginny." Harry replied, with a note of tiredness and irritation in his voice.
"Did you get Rea to school okay? I mean, I know she's a handful, and I'm sorry that I can't be there to get her up and put her to bed...but I'll take her to her ballet lessons tonight to make up for it! You could use some sleep, you look exhausted...what did she do to you last night?" she said, rather quickly, and she was laughing. Harry resisted a sigh and a look of annoyance.
"Well, I put her to bed at the normal time, and I read her a story...but I overslept this morning so I've been a bit rushed. That's why I look so horrid. Ginny, you really don't have to worry about it-" he began, but she interrupted him in mid-sentence.
"Of course you woke up late, you always do. Harry James Potter...what am I going to do with you? But you don't have to worry about Rea's lessons tonight, I'm taking her. And that's final. Get some rest! You deserve it, you're a wonderful father to her." she said, still with an annoying smile on her face. Harry couldn't deny that she was pretty...but this was his best friends' sister, and...well, he didn't know what to say. He just nodded in reply.
"Well, I should probably get home and take a nap, take a shower, eat something. So I'll see you later tonight, hunny? Don't forget to pick up Rea from school in your rush!" Ginny finished, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before hurrying out the door. He stood there, exasperated.
"When will that woman learn...?" he wondered, a small smile on his face.
He fell asleep during his break, even though he tried to fight the tiredness off. He boss, Marie, came in and yelled at him, but he just shrugged it off, ignored her, and went back to work. He got off work at 2:30; grabbing his coat, he headed out onto the busy street. He was halfway home when he finally remembered that he was supposed to pick up Rea from school; cursing his forgetfulness, he turned around, ran a few stop signs, and took off towards the school. He had driven so fast that he got there just a few minutes after her school got up.
"How was your day, sweetie?" he asked, buckling her into her carseat. She smiled back at him, that smile that was so much like his. He smiled back.
"We did finger paints today, daddy! See, look!" she said, showing him her multi-colored hands. They were stained a bit. He chuckled; Ginny would have fun cleaning her up.
"I can see that. You didn't cause too much trouble, did you?" he said, joking. She laughed.
"Nope! Timothy got a time out today, for pushing Lindsay in the mud at recess. I haven't got any time outs yet, all year. Teacher says I'm a good little girl." she said, her pale face illuminated with radiance in Harry's eyes. He knew how much she loved to brag about being a "Good little girl" at school.
"Well, here we are! Your mother is here, she's going to take you to your ballet lessons tonight, okay? Don't cause her too much trouble. She's tired." he said, smiling, as he lifted her out of the car and carried her inside. He took her to the kitchen, got her a snack, kissed her on the forehead, told Ginny that he was going to take a nap, and went upstairs, where he almost literally passed out.
When Harry woke, it was to the sound of the door slamming; then silence. He was confused; he had been sleeping, yet...not quite. Finally he came to the conclusion that he wouldn't be able to sleep anymore at the moment, so he got out of bed and went into the huge master bathroom. He turned on the warm tap to fill the circular blue marble bath. He went to the sink and splashed his face with freezing cold water, then leaned on his hands against the marble counter top; he pressed his head against Ginny's lighted make-up mirror. The freezing cold glass did nothing to clear his overwhelmed mind.
He went over to the door and shut it, then turned off the taps and the thought came to him to use some of Ginny's aroma therapy candles and bath beads. After he lit the jasmine and lavender candles and dropped the bath beads(he didn't even know what kind they were except that they were purple and the beads said "aroma therapy" on them), he slipped into the almost-scalding water. He sighed and thought, 'Hey this stuff actually works!'.
He felt the tension leave his body; he sank back into the water. It had been awhile since he had been so calm; so clear-minded. After all, he had a hectic life. What with a five year-old daughter, a wife that worked 12-hour shifts seven days a week, and his own hectic job at the Central Grill and Pub, things were always on the edge. He rarely ever had a minute to just relax like this, and when he did it was always interrupted. But no interruptions today. He had made sure of that. Ginny and Rea were both out, Ginny had decided to go shopping while Rea was at ballet practice. Then she would come home, get ready for work, and go back to her 12 hour job. The only time she got to sleep was about 10 in the morning to 3 in the afternoon, Harry really didn't understand how his wife still functioned with that lack of sleep added on to all the stress that comes with the job of a nurse. He knew for a fact he wouldn't be able to do it; but then again, blood and things like it had always made him a bit queasy. There was good reason for this, of course, but...
His mind drifted.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(Flashback)
The sun was shining; the birds were singing. It was a good day. He was sitting, reading, listening to some song. He didn't know what it was. He sat on the leather couch in his newly acquired house. Smiling, he put his book down, leaning his head back, drinking it all in; his life could not have been more perfect at that exact second. But then....the rain clouds moved in.
It was pouring outside; rain was flooding the roads, there was no life outside of the houses on the small street. Harry sat in the bay window of the living room, his arms draped over his legs, that were pulled up to his chest, watching the drops of rain come down. He hated rain; every time it rained, something bad happened. It was just from experience that he knew this. Where was Draco? He had gone out, but where? It wouldn't do him any good to be out in this storm-CRACK! Lighting came crashing down, in the front yard, so close it nearly gave Harry a heart attack. The door opened, then shut quickly, and a dripping noise was heard in the hall. Harry grinned; Draco was home, and from the sound of it, he had been in a hurry. Draco loved the rain. He would stand out in the middle of thunderstorms like these, almost daring the lightning to come down on him. But, Harry thought, it never had. He stood, stretched, and walked out into the hall, a smile on his face.
Draco was soaked; Harry laughed. Draco looked up at him, smiling.
"It's a bit wet out today, isn't it?" he said, grinning. Harry nodded.
"Very observant, Draco. You look like you tried to drown yourself. What was so important that you had to go out in a storm like this for?" he asked. Draco laughed a little, taking off his boots. He held up a grocery bag.
"I got hot chocolate! I was looking in the cupboards earlier and I noticed that we were out, and I knew it was going to rain...so, I went and got some. You always want hot chocolate when it's raining." he said, handing him the bag. Harry took it, smiling. Draco remembered the strangest things.
(End Flashback)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Harry awoke with a start and realized immediately that he couldn't breathe; he was underwater. Reacting quickly, he pulled himself up, breathing hard from the memory, coupled with the fact that he had almost drowned. Gasping for breath, he wrapped a towel around himself and sat down on the floor with his head in his hands. He didn't want to remember, but it was inevitable. Every time he looked at her, his daughter, the memories came flooding back. And lately they had come back full-force.
"Why? It's been five damn years...why now? Why can't I just...forget?" he cried. Warm, salty tears mixed with the dripping water from the bath, he didn't bother to wipe them away. Slowly the air began to circulate and he didn't feel like he could hardly breathe anymore, and he began to calm. He stood, but quickly got dizzy again. He sat back down on a chair in the corner of the huge bathroom and stared blankly. Not having his glasses(they were on the other side of the room, on the counter top), he couldn't very well see. Sighing, he tried to clear his mind before he even began to get up and get dressed again.
Ginny found him there, still crying.
"What's wrong, Harry?" she asked. He didn't answer, just sat there, as if in a daze, staring blankly at the wall across from him. He wiped the tears away as fast as he could, so Rea wouldn't see him crying, and stood. He pushed past her and she looked after him, worriedly. She had known Harry Potter for a long time, though, well enough to know that whatever was bothering him would stay inside and most likely a secret from her, so she learned not to pry. She watched as he picked up Rea, and carried her down to her room to play with her. Sighing, she began to get ready for work.
Harry sat Rea down on the floor in her room, and pulled over a box of blocks from the closet. Sitting down beside her, he smiled.
"Did you have fun at ballet practice?" he asked, quiet. She nodded.
"Mostly we just listened to the instructor-lady talk, though. Since we have a recital coming up soon. I told mommy about it, and she says she's sure I'll get the lead role!" she laughed. He smiled, ruffling her hair.
"I'm sure you will. So...what are we going to build today?" he asked, getting out some blocks. She looked thoughtful for a moment, the spitting image of him...'No, Harry. Don't think about that. Just focus on your daughter. Forget...him.' he told himself, mentally shaking his head.
"A castle! A big one! With witches and wizards, and big ugly trolls!" she laughed, decisiveness in her voice. He laughed, shakily.
"Ok, so it's a castle, then. Well, first we have to get the shape of it..." he began, a single tear falling down his cheek.
He spent an hour making the castle with his beloved little girl. It was huge; half his size. Times like these were the only bit of sunshine in his otherwise bleak and depressing world. He didn't dwell on these thoughts, though.
"Hey, hun...we need to get you to bed, and I'm tired too. If I get to sleep earlier, you can watch Sesame Street in the morning, instead of me having to rush you to school like a madman. Okay, babe?" he asked. She nodded, smiling sweetly. She was tired; her eyes were drooping. He got her ready for bed with her little Care Bear pajamas and her Sesame Street blankie. She sunk down into her bed, fighting to keep her eyes open. Harry smiled down at her, his heart aching at the sight of her. He shook that feeling away and focused on the present, not the past.
"I love you, daddy." she said, smiling.
"I love you too, sweetheart. So...what story should I read to you tonight?" he asked.
"Rapunzel, daddy! Pretty please?" she begged. Not being able to deprive his daughter of anything, he picked up the book and started to read.
"Once upon a time..." he began, this night exactly like all the others. She would be asleep before the good part, but he would read it anyway, to the very end. It was habit. He couldn't start a story and not end it.
Quietly, he snuck out of the room, and, unlike the night before, he went to bed the right way. He brushed his teeth, changed his clothes, set his alarm and curled up in the very empty king sized bed. He couldn't stand satin or silk sheets anymore...soon enough, he fell into a fitful sleep, full of dreams and memories that he had thought were long forgotten.
The next morning, he woke up early, for once. Smiling and whistling softly to himself, he got Rea up and got her ready for school. He got ready for work while she sat downstairs in the living room watching Sesame Street, her favorite show in the world. He got ready for another chaotic day, and went downstairs, sighing.
"Today is tryouts for the recital, daddy! And...show and tell, too." she said, as he reached the landing. He went into the kitchen, grabbed a bowl of cereal, then came back to the living room and sat down next to her on the couch.
"Show and Tell? What are you bringing?" he asked. She shrugged.
"I dunno." she said, with a sweet smile on her face. Harry sighed again.
"Well, we'll have to figure something out fast, then. We should leave in five minutes." he said, smiling. She nodded, standing.
"We can find something!" she said, standing in front of him with a confident expression on her face. He smiled uneasily and stood, so he didn't have to look right into her face anymore.
'"Come on, then. There's got to be something around this place somewhere that you can bring." he said, looking around.
After Sesame Street went off, they went on a quick search, and Rea found a music box tucked away in his room. She snuck it into her bag and he yelled.
"Hey, we have to go, Rea!" She ran down the stairs quickly and he asked her if she had gotten anything.
"Yup! I found something!" she said, and they got in the car. The start to another normal, chaotic day.
When Rea got in the school building, she took out the music box and examined it. It was wooden, with lines and designs carved intricately into the surface. There was a phoenix carved into the lid; she opened it, to find it covered in red velvet. It played a song her daddy hummed sometimes. She thought a moment before she remembered the name. "Once Upon a Dream. That's what it's called. This is the best Show and Tell ever!" she said, smiling. She practically skipped off to her classroom, a radiant smile on her face.
The day was wonderful; they got to make pasta jewelry and color all day. Finally, after recess and snack time, the teacher told them it was time for show and tell.
"Who wants to go first?" she asked, smiling. Rea's hand shot up immediately. The teacher smiled.
"Go ahead, Rea." She took out the music box very carefully and went to the front of the class, sitting it on a desk in the front row.
"This is a music box...I found it in my daddy's closet. It's cherry wood, I think, and it's carved with a phoenix on it, see? And it's really pretty. I think someone might have gave it to my daddy as a present...anyways, it plays a really pretty song called "Once Upon a Dream" and it has pretty red velvet lining, see? And to turn on the music, you twist this little knobby thing and it plays. See?" she explained, demonstrating to the class. They 'ooohed' and 'awwed' and no one, no one wanted to follow her cool show and tell. They all loved it. The teacher said it was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen. Rea smiled and was so proud.
Class ended and her daddy picked her up. She had to go straight to ballet because it was the day for recital try-outs. When she got into the car, her daddy smiled at her.
"So...what did you bring for show and tell? I never did see." he asked as he buckled her into her car seat. She took out the music box and held it up with a smile. His face turned ashen.
"Where did you get that?" he asked. His voice was deadly quiet.
"Ummmm in your closet?" she answered, nervous.
"What were you doing in there?" he continued, not looking at her.
"Well you said I could go find something...so I did! You always have fun stuff, and I wanted to bring something extra special. I didn't think you would mind..." she explained, almost in a whisper. He closed his eyes, trying to even out his breathing.
"I never, ever want you to go in there again! Do you understand me young lady?" he said, angry. Rea was scared. Her daddy had never talked to her like that before, and she was a little frightened. He almost slammed the door shut, taking the music box with him and placing it in the passengers side seat. He started the car, trying not to cry or think about anything except getting his daughter to the ballet studio.
When he had gotten her to the ballet studio and given her her bag, and kissed her goodbye, he led her into the room and left. But when he got in the car he broke down, and he grabbed the music box. For a long time, he just sobbed, tears running in rivers down his face. After about an hour, he calmed himself enough to drive. He broke a few laws; he seemed to be doing that more and more as of late.
When he got home, he tried not to slam doors because Ginny was sleeping, but almost immediately he turned and got into his car again, and drove to a place that he knew all too well. He passed familiar landmarks, all bringing more memories back to him. Memories he had long tried to forget; that he had put in the back of his mind as nothings. But, it seemed the past always came back to haunt him. It always did.
'I have the worst luck...' he thought to himself, turning onto a one- way street, with nice, neat houses, all of which he recognized. He drove to the end of the street, where there was a white two-story house, with a bay window in the living room and a two car garage. The yard was nicely kept, with a small garden where there had once been a fountain when he had lived there. He wondered if anyone lived there; he hadn't been back here since a year after they had broken up, and it was empty then. By the looks of it, it was now too. He parked in the driveway, and took a deep breath before opening the car door and getting out. Closing it behind him, he walked slowly up to the front door. Examining the doorknob, he found it was the same one that had always been there, and he took a key out of his pocket, put it in the keyhole, and turned the knob. The door opened in front of him.
It was empty, except a few pieces of furniture here and there that Harry recognized. A recliner in the living room, the dining room table, and a desk in the study he recognized as things Draco had brought from home. There was a bookcase that Harry had bought, and a few old lamps that he had left, resolving that he would buy new ones later. He went up the stairs the same as he had done five years ago, tripping over the top step. He caught his balance, remembering at the last second, and turned to the right.
Here was the bedroom that he had shared. The only thing left in it now was the night stand, which had a small reading lamp on it that Harry recognized as Draco's. He closed his eyes to prevent tears from pouring down his face unbidden. Bad idea; an onslaught of memories attacked him, and he quickly sat down before he fell and hurt himself. He buried his face in his hands as they flooded him all at once.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(Flashback)
It was the same day as the last time; the rain had stopped in mid- afternoon, after Draco and Harry had sat in front of the fire, sipping hot chocolate and reminiscing about school. Draco had gone out again, this time to go to Ron's house and tell him that they wanted him over to dinner Friday night. Why he had wanted to go himself Harry couldn't understand, because owl post would be fine, but he had insisted to go in person.
The door opened, then slammed. Harry smiled a bit, but when Draco stomped in, his normally pale face bright red, and his eyes full of anger, he quickly stopped. Whatever had made Draco mad had to be something serious, he was rarely bothered like this. He had a "Don't talk to me unless you want to get a horrid curse put on you" look on his face, his silver eyes were hostile.
"Draco, what-" he began, but a glare from his companion quickly cut him off.
"Shut up, Harry. Just...shut up. Now." he snapped, and a startled Harry did as he was told, knowing from experience not to provoke Draco Malfoy when he was pissed off. He would talk about it when he was ready. In the meantime, he stomped off to the bookshelf in the corner, pulled a book down, and started to read, sitting in a chair across the room.
After a few minutes, he threw the book across the room and fixated his sight on Harry. Harry found this unnerving, and wondered why Draco seemed so angry at him.
"Ron told me something, Harry." he said, a mixture of hatred and sadness in his cold voice. Harry looked at him.
"What did he say? Whatever it was, it has you worked up." he said, rather nervous, but wise enough not to show it.
"He told me about that time back in seventh year when you disappeared during the dance and said you'd be right back. He told me why you never came back, after I had been waiting forever. I didn't betray you. I didn't go find SEAMUS FINNIGAN and make out with him in a corner! What in Merlin's name were you thinking, Harry?!" He cried. Harry felt like he was being suffocated...he didn't know what to say.
"Listen, Draco...I-I wasn't really...myself, that night. I was preoccupied, what with Voldemort and everything...and I just...I don't know..." he said, a desperate look in his eyes. Draco didn't look in the forgiving mood. He stood, grabbed his coat, and without glancing at him, said:
"I'm going to Hermione's, Harry. I'll be there if you want to come talk. But I can't be here right now, I just can't." he said. Without another word, he took off out the door. Harry broke down into wracking sobs. He put his head in his hands and cried.
(End Flashback)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
As the last memory ended, he thought about it, crying just as much, if not more, than he had that day. He cried so hard; and as he cried, he lost himself in another memory. This one was happier, not as depressing as the previous two, but still it hurt to even think about. He sighed and closed his eyes once more, letting the thoughts consume him once again.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(Flashback)
He was sitting on the back porch with Draco, on the swing. They were laughing, like always. They laughed a lot, now that Voldemort was gone. Things that were once serious could be amusing now that the threat was gone. This particular day, the Triwizard Tournament in their fourth year was the topic.
"I remember I was so jealous of you when your name came from that goblet. I think I wanted to kill you at that moment in time, I mean...it just wasn't fair, you know? I wanted so much to be in that tournament, but no, like usual, you got the better end of things. I got to sit around and worry about you the whole time. I was angry, so I did some pretty mean stuff, but it was only because I thought you'd end up dead. And you nearly did!" he said, grinning. Harry punched his shoulder.
"Like I'd die. Seems I'm invincible. After all, I survived Voldemort...five, six, seven times? Maybe eight? I lost track after awhile. It all got rather repetitive, after the first few times. That one I remember clear as anything though. I'd rather not talk about it again, though. Hey, so you were jealous of me? Why Draco, I'm flattered." Harry said, laughing. Draco went scarlet.
"Can it, Harry. I didn't mean to set you off on making fun of me again. Anyways...it's rather cold out here. I think I'll go in. You can stay out here and freeze, if you want." Draco answered, and with that he stood and walked inside, Harry doubling over in laughter.
(End Flashback)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Harry stood quickly, as if scared that the memories would keep coming harder if he stayed there; but they chased him. He ran his hands over everything, each thing having its own story.
While he did this, across town, his daughter had just gotten the lead role in the recital, even though she was only five. A platinum blond woman and a man of similar hair color came into the room. Everyone just stared; the dance instructor went up to him.
"May I help you?" she asked.
"Yes," said the man. "Actually, I own this little company." he said, smiling. She went white.
"Mr. Malfoy! I am so, so sorry, sir." she said, smiling back, a little shocked. Rea's head snapped up; she had heard her mommy and daddy both mention him before.
"It's quite alright," Malfoy said. "This is my wife, Veronica. She is interested in ballet, and wanted to come watch. I thought I would join her of course." he explained.
"We just finished up try-outs for our recital. This is our lead, miss Rea Potter." the dance instructor said, pointing to the five year old girl, who stared up at him with inquisitive eyes. Draco's face, if possible, went even more pale. He regained his composure and looked down at her. She looked a bit nervous, he thought.
"So you're the lead? You're rather young. How old are you?" he asked. She jumped a little.
"Ummm...I-I'm five, sir." she answered, so quiet that he could barely hear her.
'Five? Rea Potter...is she...? Could she be? She looks...' he thought to himself, confused. She had silver eyes, curly black hair, she was very pale. He stared at her for a moment.
"Well, congratulations on your lead role, Miss Potter. I'll be sure to come see you, if time permits. Veronica will want to come, won't you, darling?" he asked, smiling. She nodded.
"I'd love to! That is, if you'll bring me, Draco." Veronica answered, smiling.
"Well, then. I guess we'll be coming back soon. When is the recital?" he asked, at the door. The instructor looked extremely nervous.
"A month from Friday, sir." she said. He nodded.
"See you then. I'll make the time to drop by." he said, and he and his wife left. Rea watched them go with curiosity. Who was this man to her parents? Now she had some questions to ask them.
Finally, it was time for Harry to pick up Rea. Now that he was out of sight of the house, he was reminded once more why he had made a vow to never return to it again. He picked Rea up from practice, and the instructor came over and congratulated him on his daughter. He just smiled at her, pride evident on his expressive face. The first words out of her mouth when she was in her carseat, and they were pulling out of the studio were:
"Who is Draco Malfoy, daddy?" Harry's heart nearly stopped. He was so shocked that he nearly fainted; no, correction, he just nearly passed out. She continued.
"'Cuz I heard you and mommy talking about him one time..." she said, curious.
"Why do ask, hunny?" he managed to choke out.
"Well, he came by the studio today, and looked at me funny, and that's why." Harry stepped on the brake so hard that Rea jolted forward in her carseat. She looked at him funny, catching her breath. 'Daddy is acting strange...I've never seen him like this before.' she thought, confused. Finally, after about five minutes of silence(Something told Rea not to bother him until he talked first), he spoke.
"He's an acquaintance. That's all." he said, abrupt. This startled her from her daydream of living on Sesame Street, and immediately resulted in her bombarding him with questions, all of which Harry had never thought he would have to answer. At least, not to his daughter at five years old.
'Why? Why did all this have to happen? Why now?' he thought to himself, wanting to cry but stopping himself since he didn't want Rea to see him cry. The last thing he needed right now was to make his daughter wonder why he was crying. He was going through enough already. Why this? Why now? He just asked himself this over and over, and came up with no explanation.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Who is he? What does he do? How do you and mommy know him? Daddy, come on!" Rea begged, as they drove towards home.
"Not right now, Rea. I'll tell you when you're older, okay?" he answered, trying to get her to stop.
"But I wanna know! Please, daddy?" she continued, pouting.
"Not today, okay?" he answered, finality in his tone.
"But daddy, how do you know him? He looked all snotty and rich! Since when do we know anybody who's rich?" she said, annoyed.
"Rea Celestra Potter, how dare you? I think that deserves a time-out young lady." he said, looking at her through the rear-view mirror. She had a sad look on her face.
"But daddy-" she began.
"No buts, young lady! Why would you ever say such a thing?" he asked, serious.
"Because it's true, daddy." she replied, matter-of-factly. He sighed.
"Okay, well...I guess we need to talk, just you and me, when we get home." he said, quiet. He had no wish to explain all this to his daughter, not now. Not at her young age.
"About him..." he said, sighing. Rea perked up, interested.
"Yes daddy?" she asked, sweetly.
"I knew him from school. We were friends, that's all I can tell you. Honestly, sweetheart." he said, putting on a fake smile. They got home, and he put Rea down for her nap, then went to talk to Ginny, who was getting ready for work. She kissed him on the cheek, and he sat down on the bed and closed his eyes. All he could think was, 'Why does everything have to happen now? Why?' Suddenly he realized Ginny was talking to him, and he hadn't heard a thing she was saying.
"Hey, you in there? Earth to Harry!" she said, giggling a bit. He snapped out of it.
"Yeah, sorry...zoned out for a bit." he answered, shaking his head.
"Well, did Rea get the part?" she asked, smiling. He nodded.
"Yes, she got the lead." he said, quiet. She had a huge smile on her face.
"I told her she would. When is her recital?" she continued. He sighed.
"In a month." he explained. This was getting annoying.
"Well okay...I bet she is going to be the best ballet dancer in the world-" she said, but Harry cut her off.
"Do you miss it?" he asked, suddenly, his voice serious. She gave him a confused look.
"Miss what, hun?" she replied.
"Miss magic. Do you?" he asked, quiet. She sat down beside him on the bed and sighed.
"Not really...I mean, I use a type of magic every day, don't I? And I have you and Rea to come home to. It more than makes up for it." she said, just as quiet. She had a small smile on her face. "Do you miss it?" she asked, curious.
"No...no, I don't. I was just wondering if you had any regrets about living in the Muggle world..." he sighed.
"No." she said, sweetly. She kissed him quickly, her eyes shining.
"That was nice, you know. Just the two of us, talking. We haven't done that in a long time-" she said. His mind snapped quickly back to his memory from earlier, of himself and Draco, nearly saying that same thing. He pushed it away. "Well, talk to you later, hun!" she said, and was gone. He felt a migraine and more memories coming on, so he went downstairs to drown his sorrows in milk and cookies. After that he went to check on Rea, and when he looked in on her he realized just how much like an angel she resembled. He wondered how he had gotten so lucky to have such a daughter as her. He shook his head and went downstairs, turning on the television. On the channel he flipped past, there came a face he knew well. He smiled and turned up the volume, but not too loud because he didn't want to wake Rea. It was a hospital report; it showed Ginny, the best nurse to ever grace England in his opinion. The mother to his child...yet even though he was married to her, and he loved her dearly, it was never in the way Ginny loved him. She had found him and brought him back from the depths of despair, she loved him unconditionally not matter what the cost. Why? She didn't deserve this life, she didn't deserve to be used like this...
"Why could I never have the life I dreamed of? A white picket fence, two story house, white shutters, the damned annoying dog, why? Rea doesn't deserve to get caught up in this, neither does Ginny. Neither asked to be in this. Damn, why do I always end up hurting the ones I love?' he asked himself, tears in his eyes. None of this was supposed to happen. None of it. Ginny was a good friend to him, she had always been. She had crushed on him forever while they were in school, he had saved her life in their second year...yet, he had never loved her like that. He had treated her like a little sister, anything more was just awkward. He had never meant for any of this to happen. Why? His mind drifted to something Hagrid had once said to him.
"What's comin' will come, an' we'll meet it when it does."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Draco looked up from the book he was reading, unable to concentrate. Veronica was watching some soap opera, her eyes not leaving the screen. He honestly didn't understand why she like Muggle things like television so much, he found it rather annoying and a total waste of time. As a matter of fact, much of what Veronica did annoyed him, he just didn't have the heart to tell her that. She was much to sensitive to yell at, let alone criticize. So he just let her get on with watching whatever it was. It kept her away from him for awhile, anyway. He put his book down and went to the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of orange juice. He sat down at the table and pulled the muggle paper to him, and on the front page was the ballet studio's recital story. It listed the entire cast, and at the head of it was one Miss Rea Celestra Potter. He completely forgot his glass of wine, and just stared at the name, remembering the face of the little girl.
"Rea Celestra Potter...that's a very uncommon name...and she looks so much like him. She has to be his daughter. But...she doesn't look like Ginny at all. Well, I guess, a little bit, but that could just be me. Hmmm..." he wondered, absentmindedly running a hand through his straight blonde hair. He put down the paper, and his mind wandered.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* (Flashback)
It was a sunny day, he and Harry were at the Quidditch pitch at Hogwarts, throwing the Snitch and seeing who would catch it first. As always, Harry won. But Draco wasn't half bad either, and managed to get it a few times.
"You aren't going easy on me, are you, Harry?" he called. Harry laughed.
"Only if you think I am!" he answered, dropping the Snitch again. After a moment, Draco saw it and went lunging toward it. He had gotten a Firebolt for his last birthday, so his speed finally matched Harry's. They were both amazingly good at Quidditch, but Draco had always been behind Harry because of his broom. Now, however, they were even. He launched into a nosedive, Harry right behind him. He stretched his arm out, felt his fingers close around the tiny winged thing, and pulled up quickly before he smashed into the ground. Harry had a mock-scowl on his face; Draco just smiled.
"Told you it was all the broom's fault that I wasn't as good as you. Look, I can catch it easy now." he said, letting it go again. They sped after it, laughing.
(End Flashback)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Harry heaved himself up off the couch and took a deep breath. Suddenly, he remembered the music box. It was still out in the car. He stood, stretching, and slowly, almost mechanically, went out to get it. After he had retrieved it, he walked up the stairs to his bedroom and opened his walk-in closet. He pulled out the box, the one that Rea had found the music box in, and he set the music box aside. He reached into the box and pulled out a ragged photo album; opening it, he smiled a little bit. Inside were pictures of his parents, Sirius, his friends...he looked at it for a moment before setting it aside. One more look and he found what he wanted: another photo album, not quite as worn as the last one. He opened this one as well, but didn't put it aside like the other, and his eyes looked over the pictures much longer.
Some of the pictures were muggle ones, they didn't move, but there were some wizarding photos, too, and they moved. The wizarding ones were in the front; there was Draco and himself, sitting on a park bench far away from one another. He remembered suddenly why he had always preferred muggle pictures, you could capture the moment and make it happy forever, not turn into something sad like this one. He flipped back to the muggle pictures and tears started to roll slowly down his face. He was startled when a soft sleepy voice came from behind him.
"Daddy...whatcha doin'...?" he turned around and saw Rea clutching her teddy bear and blankie, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
"Pumpkin, what are you doing up?" he asked, softly. She came over.
"Daddy, were you crying? And...what is that?" she asked, curious. He sighed.
"This? Oh, it's nothing hunny." he answered. She didn't believe him.
"Yes it is something." she answered, and before he could do anything about it, the curious little girl had pulled the photo album from his grasp and looked at it. Her eyes grew wide.
"Daddy...it's Mr. Malfoy!" she said, surprised. He looked at her with a sadness in his eyes unlike any she had ever seen. Suddenly she felt sorry for what she had done and dropped the album.
"I'm sorry, daddy! I didn't mean to, you didn't want me to look...I shouldn't have...I'm sorry, daddy!" she cried, teary eyed. He took a deep breath.
"Come here, Rea." he said. She did as she was told, and he picked her up and sat her on his lap, hugging her for a moment. Then he picked up the photo album and flipped to the front. Her eyes grew wide at the sight of moving pictures.
"Daddy, why do the pictures move? Pictures don't move, they're supposed to stay still! Are there real people in them?" she asked, curious. He smiled.
"No, hunny. They move because they were made to. See those two? Their names are Lily and James. They're my mom and dad. They died when I was a year old. The house caught fire and burned to the ground; my uncle got me out and took me to my Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon's house. You haven't met them, we don't exactly like each other. My uncle Sirius died when I was 15, you'd love him. All the rest of my relatives are dead." he explained.
"Do you have any pictures of Uncle Sirius?" she asked, smiling. He pointed to the picture of Sirius as Best Man at his parents' wedding.
"Here he is. He was my Godfather when my parents died, but I didn't even know him til I was 13. He had been....away for 12 years. Ever since he took me to my aunt and uncles house." he said, quiet. When he got no response, he looked down at Rea and smiled. She was fast asleep. Sitting down the album, he stood, and carried her back to her room. He put her in her bed, kissed her lightly on the forehead, and turned, leaving the room. He spent another hour or so crying quietly over pictures in the photo album.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Draco couldn't sleep. He was sitting in his living room, only a few candles were lit, and he had some classical music playing in the background. He only played classical music when he couldn't sleep, it helped calm his nerves. Which, he reminded himself, had only been after he had married Veronica. Before that, the last time was in his seventh year at Hogwarts, when Voldemort was still at large. He had way too much on his mind at the moment. As he sat there, staring into space, an idea suddenly came to him.
"If this Rea is his daughter, then surely he'll show up at the recital to watch her. And Ginny, too. If they do, then I'll know. Veronica wanted to go anyway, now I'll be sure to make the time. I can't stand ballet, but I'll sit through it if it means I can figure this out." he said to himself. He felt annoyed; this very rarely happened anymore unless it was annoyance with Veronica for being such a ditz. After all, he had only married so he wouldn't be so depressed. It had worked for awhile, but she was just so...annoying! There was no other word for it. It wasn't that she wasn't a good person, she just wasn't his type. And after awhile, their screaming matches had gotten old. Now they just regarded each other with an unnerving pleasantness that made him sick to his stomach sometimes. He wondered, 'Why have I put up with her for so long?' Then he just shrugged.
"I have no clue, but I've just about had enough of it." he said, standing. It seemed to him as if his body moved without his approval, taking him up the stairs and down the hall of the third floor, to the end room. He knew what this room was; fumbling with the key-ring he had in his pocket, he drew out a silver key with a black lining, putting it in the key- hole and turning it. The door creaked open and he went inside, switching on the lights. There wasn't much in this room, but he didn't seem to mind that, as he went straight to the closet and muttered a few words to some kind of spell, and the door opened. Inside was a room full of boxes, and trunks. They all had his writing on them, and labels as to what was in them. He had stored them here after he had moved out of the house he had shared with Harry.
Sighing, he wondered 'Why me?' and sat down, pulling the nearest box toward him. This was a mistake, he knew it, but something told him to want to remember. He took a deep breath and began to go through the contents of the long-forgotten box.
The first thing in the box was a watch. A pocket watch, actually. It was silver, with gold trim, and hung on a silver chain. He turned it over, looking at the inscription on the back. "To Draco, From Harry, with love: Happy 17th birthday" in beautiful, loopy cursive script. He closed his eyes and fought the onslaught of memories that threatened to appear in his mind's eye, and took a deep, calming breath before pulling the next thing out of the box. He smiled and laughed a bit, remembering. This was the flask to the potion Harry had snuck in his food in seventh year, to turn his skin purple, and it hadn't come out for weeks. That was the most humiliating, yet exceedingly hilarious, four weeks of his life. He could remember every day of it like it was yesterday, but he stopped himself because he didn't want to. Hell, he didn't even know what had possessed him to come up here in the first place!
The next thing was a picture frame. He pulled it out and turned it over, and the smile left his face to be replaced by a look of detached emptiness. It was a wizarding picture, so it moved. And what he saw disturbed him more than anything he had seen in a long time. Now, for the first time, he understood why Harry had always preferred Muggle pictures over wizard ones. Unfortunately, Draco had no muggle pictures of the two of them, he had found no reason to have them, since he had always enjoyed moving pictures so much better. Now he dearly wished that he had some. In the picture, when it had first been taken, he and Harry had been standing in front of Hogwarts, Draco had put his arm over Harry's shoulder, and they were laughing. Now, however, there was no Harry in this picture. Draco stood by himself, a sadness in his eyes that he himself hoped there had never been before in real life. But somehow he knew that there had been this sadness, not so very long ago. For the first time in years, he felt tears, white-hot, pulling at his eyes, before he dropped the picture, put his head in his hands, and cried. The seemingly emotionless Draco Malfoy had finally broken down and cried.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Harry fell asleep clutching the photo album, and about an hour later, he woke up from a soft tugging on his sleeve. He opened his eyes, blinking several times, an saw Rea standing there.
"What do you want, hun?" he asked, tired.
"I'm hungry, daddy." she said, bluntly. He smiled a bit.
"Well, how about you and I go out to eat?" he said, sitting up. She grinned.
"Really daddy?" she said, excited.
"Yes, hun. How 'bout it?" he said, standing, and putting the photo album back in the place he had found it.
"Yeah, that sounds like fun!" she said.
"Well, let me get cleaned up and then you get cleaned up, and how about we make a night of it? Eating, a little dancing, maybe some shopping?" he continued, wiping his eyes. Her eyes lit up; a wide smile broke out on her face.
"Yeah! Can we, daddy?" she said, as if she couldn't believe him.
"Of course, precious." he answered. She ran back to her room to pick out her outfit; he walked to the bathroom, grabbed one of the dark blue fluffy towels, undressed, and got in the shower. He turned on the spray and thought back to his dream; it had been about talking to a dragon, a pure white dragon, with piercing blue eyes. He had told the dragon everything; the pain, the love, everything. All his troubles. And the dragon listened, then it changed into a faerie, a little one that looked like Rea. She told him to follow her, then things took a very strange turn. But, even as he tried to remember the dream, it slipped from his grasp. He finished his shower and then gave Rea her bath. After they were both dressed, they went to one of the nicest restaurants the city had to offer. It was called Midnight Falls, it was a beautiful place. They ate in style, and during dinner, there was a band. It started to play a slow melody as many couples got up and started to dance. Harry got up, bowing low to his daughter.
"May I have this dance, Miss Potter?" he asked, cordially. She about bursted out laughing.
"Yes, sir, you may." she answered, in the sweetest voice she could muster when she was about to fall over laughing at the antics of her father. She giggled, and he picked her up; they started to waltz around the room. The song ended, and he put her down, bowing again. He offered her his arm and she giggled again, walking beside him. Soon after, they paid, and then Harry took her to a local toy store where she went straight to the stuffed animals and picked out a huge Care Bear. She put it in her daddy's arms and then went in search of others. She returned to him with a huge Cookie Monster, and a small teddy bear. He shook his head and refused to look her in the eyes, for just as it had happened long ago, he could deny no one with those eyes and the way they looked at him. Unfortunately, he was finally forced to look down and he saw her pouting; his angel. She was already spoiled beyond most childrens' wildest dreams. He sighed.
"Okay...but don't tell mommy. She is going to kill me for this." he said, serious. He paid for the items; they barely fit into the car. Rea was deliriously happy. He turned on the radio and almost gasped at the song. It was "Ordinary Boy" by Vanessa Carlton. He hummed along, then Rea asked:
"What song is this, daddy?" He answered and she declared she liked it. The next song on was his and Rea's song; it was the first song he remembered hearing after she was born. Rea smiled and started to sing. She had his singing voice; her personality, her voice, her face, all of it was his, not Harry's. When he got home, he parked the car in the garage and helped Rea lug her treasure into her room. He smiled and told her:
"You're going to need another room just for all your stuffed animals, soon enough."
"I know!" she said, and clung to her new teddy bear, smiling. She put the others in the closet. He helped her change into her pj's and then told her to pick out something to do while he changed too. He came back and saw she had pulled out her make-believe set. He smiled and she said:
"You can be the knight in shining armor, or the prince." she held up the two figures; he chose the prince, and Rea became the faerie princess, imprisoned by the evil Bear Lord. They played, and he left his daughter, once again, in hysterics with his antics.
"What do you want me to read tonight?" he asked, after they were done and she was in bed.
"I wanna hear your's and mommy's story." she decided.
"Okay..." he began. "I was at a train station to go to my new school, and your mommy was there with her family. That was the first time I ever saw her. The next year, I went to her house, and she was very shy. Things went from there. She came to the same school and one of her brothers was my best friend-" Rea interrupted.
"I don't have any uncles..." she said.
"Well see, mommy was different. And no, you don't have any uncles." he replied.
"Daddy?" she continued.
"Yes, hun?"
"Why don't I look like mommy? I mean, I look like you a lot, but I don' t think I look like mommy much. Why is that?" she asked.
"Because you got all your looks from my side of the family," he joked. "Anyway, we just got closer and closer as time went by, and after school we just thought it was right for us to marry." he finished the story.
"I like that story, daddy. Tell me another one...about you and Mr. Malfoy." she said.
"Later, hunny. How about you and I go watch TV?" he answered, abruptly.
"Okay." she decided, and they went downstairs. They were up all night, watching just whatever they wanted. They fell asleep around 6 in the morning; they were lucky that it was Saturday, otherwise neither of them would have gotten up in time for Rea to go to school, and Harry to work. When Ginny got home, she found them asleep on the couch, and cartoons were on the TV. She shut it off, kissed both of them on the cheek, then went upstairs without making a sound.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Draco awoke with a start. He realized, without really looking, that he was still in the closet, in that room that he had forbidden from himself five years ago. Angry with himself, he cursed rather loudly, and pushed the box that he had been going through back against the wall. Veronica probably hadn't even noticed he was gone. Tired, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, and looked out the closet door to the window across the room. It was daylight out, unlike when he had come up here. Around 3:00, he guessed, and he had always been good at telling the time by guessing.
Standing, he had to catch his balance. He was dizzy, for some reason. Telling himself it was because he had stood so quickly, he shut the closet door and hurried out of the room, trying to tell himself that he hadn't cried last night. That the defenses he had put up five years ago hadn't been broken. But in his heart he knew that this was wrong, and that eventually he would have to stop lying to himself. He wasn't invincible, in fact, he was the farthest thing from it. And if he could go back, change it all again, sure, he'd do things differently. But that didn't matter, now did it?
'What's done is done. It's over, Draco. It's been over for five years and you've forgotten about it. Why let the memories come back now?' he asked himself.
'You've never forgotten about it. Stop lying to yourself. Every night for a year you only slept three hours a night, and even then you'd wake up crying. You still find yourself thinking of him at random moments when you shouldn't be. And now you've seen the girl who could only be his daughter. What are you going to do, Draco? Keep lying to yourself? Because you've gotten very good at it.' he contradicted himself. Why? What was the use of all this except to drive him deeper into the depression that had hung over him for five years? And what could he do to stop this little nagging voice in the back of his head from driving him insane with truths about himself?
He drove the thoughts from his mind and set about getting himself breakfast.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: Hello, Lady Shaylee here. It's 12:47 PM and all is well, well I at least hope all is well. All is well in my room just listing to the local radio station and, you know, having a ball, and I hope all is well with you. *is hit with very large book by co author or plot babbits, who knows* Sorry, I ramble when I'm nervous. Well, I see you have come to take a look at our little fic, and since this is our first attempt *note emphasis on attempt* at slash. I can only hope you go easy on me. Hope you enjoy and it isn't the worst fic you have ever read. You might even like it! Either way, we didn't write this completely out of free will. Tthe plot bunnies attacked me and my co author and we were forced to write this fic. THE EVIL REAL ELVISH COIN OF DOOOOOOOOOOOM had a hand in this fic too, so the ideas aren't mine. My sanity and thoughts are not mine either, they belong respectively to my muse and plot bunnies,so please don't hold me accountable and if you do, Iplead temporary insanity.Please review or flame. The future of this fic depends on you:the reader,to review and save what is left of my sanity for goodness sakes.Don't make me beg.Okay,never mind.Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee review!Love ya all!*goes into hiding and waits for chaos to ensue* Oh,and one last thing:If indeed you feel the need to flame us,be warned that the plot bunnies won't take it kindly.Sorry,just to forewarn you.Consider yourself warned and *is hit with another book and is told to shut up they,get it already,then hears evil laugh of plot bunnies,shivers and goes back into hiding*
Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter. If we did, I would place dibs on Draco Malfoy. I know, I know: Who wouldn't? LOL. All characters belong to JK Rowling, except Veronica Malfoy and Rea Potter. They're ours. Don't steal em, please. We love em too much.
A/N: Shea here! This is just a little *cough* *huge* *cough* story that my co-author Shaylee thought up, and we've been writing together. It's all the plot babbits and REAL Elvish Coin of Doooooooooooooom's fault! This is our first attempt at a slash fic, and quite frankly, we're a bit scared that we even wrote it. Please, oh please, don't flame us! We are at the mercy of evil plot babbits, they're slave drivers! They made us write this, I swear, they're holding our sanity ransom. Read, review, and brace yourselves for this LONG, strange, scary thing that we call a story. *Braces self for barrage of flames that we will inevitably get for this horribly long fic* And, just as a note, the other chapters after this, won't be near as long if you guys don't want them to be. We're on Spring Break, and we had some spare time, that's why this is so long. If we write long chapters like this in the future, expect it to take a long time to update. Just a little warning. Now, on with the story.
Chapter One: Memories
"Happily ever after," said the dark-haired man, as he closed a rather large book of fairy-tales and put it on the shelf beside the bed. His green eyes looked down on the small girl with curly, raven-black hair. Her eyes were closed with sleep. His little girl...he had one hand intertwined with hers, small and pale, more pale than any skin he had ever seen, save one others'. He kissed her curly hair and sat there for a moment, a smile on his face, as he watched her chest rise and fall. There was almost a sadness in his eyes, behind the wall of happiness that one would see at first glance. He loved his little girl with all his heart. With a smile still on his face, he stood, turned off the light, and shut the door. Slowly, almost mechanically, he went down the stairs, and the smile seemed to vanish off his face. Weary, he collapsed on the couch, his head in his hands, and slipped off into his own little world.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(Flashback)
There he sat. The silk sheets, the bed, a smile on his face...and they were just talking, for once. He looked over at his companion, who at this moment was laughing, in hysterics. He fell off the bed with a loud cry, and yet still he was laughing. He found this strange. Not too long ago he'd have thought it impossible for his companion to laugh. After all, he had always had a sneer on his face before, hadn't he? He looked down at him, amusement in his eyes. The blonde haired boy mock-scowled at him, and pulled himself back up onto the rather large bed. His silver eyes held a laughter that rivaled his companions.
"Harry," he said, gasping for air from laughing so hard. "You really shouldn't make me laugh like that. It is hazardous to my health. I don't see how you haven't died from it by now! I mean..." he said, then he started laughing again.
"Wow. I think this has been our first real conversation in forever. Do you remember the last time we talked this much, Draco?" Harry answered. Draco shook his head. The two boys doubled over in unstoppable laughter, their faces flushed and their eyes shining with amusement. Harry had never been so happy in his life. (End Flashback)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
He shook himself out of his reverie as quickly as it had came, and trudged off towards the kitchen, his intent to get something to eat before he got sick from the memories. He got to the freezer and pulled out some chocolate ice cream, grabbed a spoon, and ate it straight from the carton, not caring if Ginny would mind or not. He really didn't care about anything at the moment. It was 10:56 PM, when he dropped the spoon down on the cherry tabletop, and his head followed suit soon after. He fell asleep with his day clothes on, consisting of a pair of worn out jeans and a blue long sleeved shirt, the light was on, and the ice cream was melting.
He woke up around 7:30 in the morning, swearing silently as he saw the time on the microwave clock across the room. Fixing his glasses, that hung lopsidedly off his face, he ran up the stairs, tripping more than once in his half-sleeping daze. As quick as possible, he took a shower, changed his clothes, and woke his daughter up. He dressed her, sitting her down at the table, and got her breakfast (a bowl of cereal drenched in milk, since he was hurried). He ran out the door with her behind him, and got into his mini Copper. Fumbling for a minute, he strapped her into the car seat and drove down town to a small school. It was a wonder he hadn't wrecked by the time he got there; he had been going 75 in a 40 mile-per-hour zone the whole way. Kissing her on the forehead, he said a rushed goodbye, before pushing her hurriedly into her classroom.
By this time, he was already worn out. But he drove down to his job, at the Central Grill and Pub where he worked as a bartender. As soon as he got there, he quickly downed a glass, then with a small smile, he set to work. His days were always like this, he was used to it by now. Rushing was second nature to him.
The day was uncommonly slow, to him the hours seemed to creep by. It was about lunchtime when, to his surprise, Ginny came by. 'Oh, great way to add to today's already great stresses.' he thought, annoyed. He felt like banging his head against a wall, but put a smile on his face, to make her happy. She was a good person, really...she had probably just got off from work, her nurse shift he was sure, was long and tedious, so he really had no right to complain. She greeted him with a kiss; he almost sighed.
"Hello, hunny! How are you today?" Ginny said, grinning from ear to ear.
"Hello, Ginny." Harry replied, with a note of tiredness and irritation in his voice.
"Did you get Rea to school okay? I mean, I know she's a handful, and I'm sorry that I can't be there to get her up and put her to bed...but I'll take her to her ballet lessons tonight to make up for it! You could use some sleep, you look exhausted...what did she do to you last night?" she said, rather quickly, and she was laughing. Harry resisted a sigh and a look of annoyance.
"Well, I put her to bed at the normal time, and I read her a story...but I overslept this morning so I've been a bit rushed. That's why I look so horrid. Ginny, you really don't have to worry about it-" he began, but she interrupted him in mid-sentence.
"Of course you woke up late, you always do. Harry James Potter...what am I going to do with you? But you don't have to worry about Rea's lessons tonight, I'm taking her. And that's final. Get some rest! You deserve it, you're a wonderful father to her." she said, still with an annoying smile on her face. Harry couldn't deny that she was pretty...but this was his best friends' sister, and...well, he didn't know what to say. He just nodded in reply.
"Well, I should probably get home and take a nap, take a shower, eat something. So I'll see you later tonight, hunny? Don't forget to pick up Rea from school in your rush!" Ginny finished, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before hurrying out the door. He stood there, exasperated.
"When will that woman learn...?" he wondered, a small smile on his face.
He fell asleep during his break, even though he tried to fight the tiredness off. He boss, Marie, came in and yelled at him, but he just shrugged it off, ignored her, and went back to work. He got off work at 2:30; grabbing his coat, he headed out onto the busy street. He was halfway home when he finally remembered that he was supposed to pick up Rea from school; cursing his forgetfulness, he turned around, ran a few stop signs, and took off towards the school. He had driven so fast that he got there just a few minutes after her school got up.
"How was your day, sweetie?" he asked, buckling her into her carseat. She smiled back at him, that smile that was so much like his. He smiled back.
"We did finger paints today, daddy! See, look!" she said, showing him her multi-colored hands. They were stained a bit. He chuckled; Ginny would have fun cleaning her up.
"I can see that. You didn't cause too much trouble, did you?" he said, joking. She laughed.
"Nope! Timothy got a time out today, for pushing Lindsay in the mud at recess. I haven't got any time outs yet, all year. Teacher says I'm a good little girl." she said, her pale face illuminated with radiance in Harry's eyes. He knew how much she loved to brag about being a "Good little girl" at school.
"Well, here we are! Your mother is here, she's going to take you to your ballet lessons tonight, okay? Don't cause her too much trouble. She's tired." he said, smiling, as he lifted her out of the car and carried her inside. He took her to the kitchen, got her a snack, kissed her on the forehead, told Ginny that he was going to take a nap, and went upstairs, where he almost literally passed out.
When Harry woke, it was to the sound of the door slamming; then silence. He was confused; he had been sleeping, yet...not quite. Finally he came to the conclusion that he wouldn't be able to sleep anymore at the moment, so he got out of bed and went into the huge master bathroom. He turned on the warm tap to fill the circular blue marble bath. He went to the sink and splashed his face with freezing cold water, then leaned on his hands against the marble counter top; he pressed his head against Ginny's lighted make-up mirror. The freezing cold glass did nothing to clear his overwhelmed mind.
He went over to the door and shut it, then turned off the taps and the thought came to him to use some of Ginny's aroma therapy candles and bath beads. After he lit the jasmine and lavender candles and dropped the bath beads(he didn't even know what kind they were except that they were purple and the beads said "aroma therapy" on them), he slipped into the almost-scalding water. He sighed and thought, 'Hey this stuff actually works!'.
He felt the tension leave his body; he sank back into the water. It had been awhile since he had been so calm; so clear-minded. After all, he had a hectic life. What with a five year-old daughter, a wife that worked 12-hour shifts seven days a week, and his own hectic job at the Central Grill and Pub, things were always on the edge. He rarely ever had a minute to just relax like this, and when he did it was always interrupted. But no interruptions today. He had made sure of that. Ginny and Rea were both out, Ginny had decided to go shopping while Rea was at ballet practice. Then she would come home, get ready for work, and go back to her 12 hour job. The only time she got to sleep was about 10 in the morning to 3 in the afternoon, Harry really didn't understand how his wife still functioned with that lack of sleep added on to all the stress that comes with the job of a nurse. He knew for a fact he wouldn't be able to do it; but then again, blood and things like it had always made him a bit queasy. There was good reason for this, of course, but...
His mind drifted.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(Flashback)
The sun was shining; the birds were singing. It was a good day. He was sitting, reading, listening to some song. He didn't know what it was. He sat on the leather couch in his newly acquired house. Smiling, he put his book down, leaning his head back, drinking it all in; his life could not have been more perfect at that exact second. But then....the rain clouds moved in.
It was pouring outside; rain was flooding the roads, there was no life outside of the houses on the small street. Harry sat in the bay window of the living room, his arms draped over his legs, that were pulled up to his chest, watching the drops of rain come down. He hated rain; every time it rained, something bad happened. It was just from experience that he knew this. Where was Draco? He had gone out, but where? It wouldn't do him any good to be out in this storm-CRACK! Lighting came crashing down, in the front yard, so close it nearly gave Harry a heart attack. The door opened, then shut quickly, and a dripping noise was heard in the hall. Harry grinned; Draco was home, and from the sound of it, he had been in a hurry. Draco loved the rain. He would stand out in the middle of thunderstorms like these, almost daring the lightning to come down on him. But, Harry thought, it never had. He stood, stretched, and walked out into the hall, a smile on his face.
Draco was soaked; Harry laughed. Draco looked up at him, smiling.
"It's a bit wet out today, isn't it?" he said, grinning. Harry nodded.
"Very observant, Draco. You look like you tried to drown yourself. What was so important that you had to go out in a storm like this for?" he asked. Draco laughed a little, taking off his boots. He held up a grocery bag.
"I got hot chocolate! I was looking in the cupboards earlier and I noticed that we were out, and I knew it was going to rain...so, I went and got some. You always want hot chocolate when it's raining." he said, handing him the bag. Harry took it, smiling. Draco remembered the strangest things.
(End Flashback)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Harry awoke with a start and realized immediately that he couldn't breathe; he was underwater. Reacting quickly, he pulled himself up, breathing hard from the memory, coupled with the fact that he had almost drowned. Gasping for breath, he wrapped a towel around himself and sat down on the floor with his head in his hands. He didn't want to remember, but it was inevitable. Every time he looked at her, his daughter, the memories came flooding back. And lately they had come back full-force.
"Why? It's been five damn years...why now? Why can't I just...forget?" he cried. Warm, salty tears mixed with the dripping water from the bath, he didn't bother to wipe them away. Slowly the air began to circulate and he didn't feel like he could hardly breathe anymore, and he began to calm. He stood, but quickly got dizzy again. He sat back down on a chair in the corner of the huge bathroom and stared blankly. Not having his glasses(they were on the other side of the room, on the counter top), he couldn't very well see. Sighing, he tried to clear his mind before he even began to get up and get dressed again.
Ginny found him there, still crying.
"What's wrong, Harry?" she asked. He didn't answer, just sat there, as if in a daze, staring blankly at the wall across from him. He wiped the tears away as fast as he could, so Rea wouldn't see him crying, and stood. He pushed past her and she looked after him, worriedly. She had known Harry Potter for a long time, though, well enough to know that whatever was bothering him would stay inside and most likely a secret from her, so she learned not to pry. She watched as he picked up Rea, and carried her down to her room to play with her. Sighing, she began to get ready for work.
Harry sat Rea down on the floor in her room, and pulled over a box of blocks from the closet. Sitting down beside her, he smiled.
"Did you have fun at ballet practice?" he asked, quiet. She nodded.
"Mostly we just listened to the instructor-lady talk, though. Since we have a recital coming up soon. I told mommy about it, and she says she's sure I'll get the lead role!" she laughed. He smiled, ruffling her hair.
"I'm sure you will. So...what are we going to build today?" he asked, getting out some blocks. She looked thoughtful for a moment, the spitting image of him...'No, Harry. Don't think about that. Just focus on your daughter. Forget...him.' he told himself, mentally shaking his head.
"A castle! A big one! With witches and wizards, and big ugly trolls!" she laughed, decisiveness in her voice. He laughed, shakily.
"Ok, so it's a castle, then. Well, first we have to get the shape of it..." he began, a single tear falling down his cheek.
He spent an hour making the castle with his beloved little girl. It was huge; half his size. Times like these were the only bit of sunshine in his otherwise bleak and depressing world. He didn't dwell on these thoughts, though.
"Hey, hun...we need to get you to bed, and I'm tired too. If I get to sleep earlier, you can watch Sesame Street in the morning, instead of me having to rush you to school like a madman. Okay, babe?" he asked. She nodded, smiling sweetly. She was tired; her eyes were drooping. He got her ready for bed with her little Care Bear pajamas and her Sesame Street blankie. She sunk down into her bed, fighting to keep her eyes open. Harry smiled down at her, his heart aching at the sight of her. He shook that feeling away and focused on the present, not the past.
"I love you, daddy." she said, smiling.
"I love you too, sweetheart. So...what story should I read to you tonight?" he asked.
"Rapunzel, daddy! Pretty please?" she begged. Not being able to deprive his daughter of anything, he picked up the book and started to read.
"Once upon a time..." he began, this night exactly like all the others. She would be asleep before the good part, but he would read it anyway, to the very end. It was habit. He couldn't start a story and not end it.
Quietly, he snuck out of the room, and, unlike the night before, he went to bed the right way. He brushed his teeth, changed his clothes, set his alarm and curled up in the very empty king sized bed. He couldn't stand satin or silk sheets anymore...soon enough, he fell into a fitful sleep, full of dreams and memories that he had thought were long forgotten.
The next morning, he woke up early, for once. Smiling and whistling softly to himself, he got Rea up and got her ready for school. He got ready for work while she sat downstairs in the living room watching Sesame Street, her favorite show in the world. He got ready for another chaotic day, and went downstairs, sighing.
"Today is tryouts for the recital, daddy! And...show and tell, too." she said, as he reached the landing. He went into the kitchen, grabbed a bowl of cereal, then came back to the living room and sat down next to her on the couch.
"Show and Tell? What are you bringing?" he asked. She shrugged.
"I dunno." she said, with a sweet smile on her face. Harry sighed again.
"Well, we'll have to figure something out fast, then. We should leave in five minutes." he said, smiling. She nodded, standing.
"We can find something!" she said, standing in front of him with a confident expression on her face. He smiled uneasily and stood, so he didn't have to look right into her face anymore.
'"Come on, then. There's got to be something around this place somewhere that you can bring." he said, looking around.
After Sesame Street went off, they went on a quick search, and Rea found a music box tucked away in his room. She snuck it into her bag and he yelled.
"Hey, we have to go, Rea!" She ran down the stairs quickly and he asked her if she had gotten anything.
"Yup! I found something!" she said, and they got in the car. The start to another normal, chaotic day.
When Rea got in the school building, she took out the music box and examined it. It was wooden, with lines and designs carved intricately into the surface. There was a phoenix carved into the lid; she opened it, to find it covered in red velvet. It played a song her daddy hummed sometimes. She thought a moment before she remembered the name. "Once Upon a Dream. That's what it's called. This is the best Show and Tell ever!" she said, smiling. She practically skipped off to her classroom, a radiant smile on her face.
The day was wonderful; they got to make pasta jewelry and color all day. Finally, after recess and snack time, the teacher told them it was time for show and tell.
"Who wants to go first?" she asked, smiling. Rea's hand shot up immediately. The teacher smiled.
"Go ahead, Rea." She took out the music box very carefully and went to the front of the class, sitting it on a desk in the front row.
"This is a music box...I found it in my daddy's closet. It's cherry wood, I think, and it's carved with a phoenix on it, see? And it's really pretty. I think someone might have gave it to my daddy as a present...anyways, it plays a really pretty song called "Once Upon a Dream" and it has pretty red velvet lining, see? And to turn on the music, you twist this little knobby thing and it plays. See?" she explained, demonstrating to the class. They 'ooohed' and 'awwed' and no one, no one wanted to follow her cool show and tell. They all loved it. The teacher said it was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen. Rea smiled and was so proud.
Class ended and her daddy picked her up. She had to go straight to ballet because it was the day for recital try-outs. When she got into the car, her daddy smiled at her.
"So...what did you bring for show and tell? I never did see." he asked as he buckled her into her car seat. She took out the music box and held it up with a smile. His face turned ashen.
"Where did you get that?" he asked. His voice was deadly quiet.
"Ummmm in your closet?" she answered, nervous.
"What were you doing in there?" he continued, not looking at her.
"Well you said I could go find something...so I did! You always have fun stuff, and I wanted to bring something extra special. I didn't think you would mind..." she explained, almost in a whisper. He closed his eyes, trying to even out his breathing.
"I never, ever want you to go in there again! Do you understand me young lady?" he said, angry. Rea was scared. Her daddy had never talked to her like that before, and she was a little frightened. He almost slammed the door shut, taking the music box with him and placing it in the passengers side seat. He started the car, trying not to cry or think about anything except getting his daughter to the ballet studio.
When he had gotten her to the ballet studio and given her her bag, and kissed her goodbye, he led her into the room and left. But when he got in the car he broke down, and he grabbed the music box. For a long time, he just sobbed, tears running in rivers down his face. After about an hour, he calmed himself enough to drive. He broke a few laws; he seemed to be doing that more and more as of late.
When he got home, he tried not to slam doors because Ginny was sleeping, but almost immediately he turned and got into his car again, and drove to a place that he knew all too well. He passed familiar landmarks, all bringing more memories back to him. Memories he had long tried to forget; that he had put in the back of his mind as nothings. But, it seemed the past always came back to haunt him. It always did.
'I have the worst luck...' he thought to himself, turning onto a one- way street, with nice, neat houses, all of which he recognized. He drove to the end of the street, where there was a white two-story house, with a bay window in the living room and a two car garage. The yard was nicely kept, with a small garden where there had once been a fountain when he had lived there. He wondered if anyone lived there; he hadn't been back here since a year after they had broken up, and it was empty then. By the looks of it, it was now too. He parked in the driveway, and took a deep breath before opening the car door and getting out. Closing it behind him, he walked slowly up to the front door. Examining the doorknob, he found it was the same one that had always been there, and he took a key out of his pocket, put it in the keyhole, and turned the knob. The door opened in front of him.
It was empty, except a few pieces of furniture here and there that Harry recognized. A recliner in the living room, the dining room table, and a desk in the study he recognized as things Draco had brought from home. There was a bookcase that Harry had bought, and a few old lamps that he had left, resolving that he would buy new ones later. He went up the stairs the same as he had done five years ago, tripping over the top step. He caught his balance, remembering at the last second, and turned to the right.
Here was the bedroom that he had shared. The only thing left in it now was the night stand, which had a small reading lamp on it that Harry recognized as Draco's. He closed his eyes to prevent tears from pouring down his face unbidden. Bad idea; an onslaught of memories attacked him, and he quickly sat down before he fell and hurt himself. He buried his face in his hands as they flooded him all at once.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(Flashback)
It was the same day as the last time; the rain had stopped in mid- afternoon, after Draco and Harry had sat in front of the fire, sipping hot chocolate and reminiscing about school. Draco had gone out again, this time to go to Ron's house and tell him that they wanted him over to dinner Friday night. Why he had wanted to go himself Harry couldn't understand, because owl post would be fine, but he had insisted to go in person.
The door opened, then slammed. Harry smiled a bit, but when Draco stomped in, his normally pale face bright red, and his eyes full of anger, he quickly stopped. Whatever had made Draco mad had to be something serious, he was rarely bothered like this. He had a "Don't talk to me unless you want to get a horrid curse put on you" look on his face, his silver eyes were hostile.
"Draco, what-" he began, but a glare from his companion quickly cut him off.
"Shut up, Harry. Just...shut up. Now." he snapped, and a startled Harry did as he was told, knowing from experience not to provoke Draco Malfoy when he was pissed off. He would talk about it when he was ready. In the meantime, he stomped off to the bookshelf in the corner, pulled a book down, and started to read, sitting in a chair across the room.
After a few minutes, he threw the book across the room and fixated his sight on Harry. Harry found this unnerving, and wondered why Draco seemed so angry at him.
"Ron told me something, Harry." he said, a mixture of hatred and sadness in his cold voice. Harry looked at him.
"What did he say? Whatever it was, it has you worked up." he said, rather nervous, but wise enough not to show it.
"He told me about that time back in seventh year when you disappeared during the dance and said you'd be right back. He told me why you never came back, after I had been waiting forever. I didn't betray you. I didn't go find SEAMUS FINNIGAN and make out with him in a corner! What in Merlin's name were you thinking, Harry?!" He cried. Harry felt like he was being suffocated...he didn't know what to say.
"Listen, Draco...I-I wasn't really...myself, that night. I was preoccupied, what with Voldemort and everything...and I just...I don't know..." he said, a desperate look in his eyes. Draco didn't look in the forgiving mood. He stood, grabbed his coat, and without glancing at him, said:
"I'm going to Hermione's, Harry. I'll be there if you want to come talk. But I can't be here right now, I just can't." he said. Without another word, he took off out the door. Harry broke down into wracking sobs. He put his head in his hands and cried.
(End Flashback)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
As the last memory ended, he thought about it, crying just as much, if not more, than he had that day. He cried so hard; and as he cried, he lost himself in another memory. This one was happier, not as depressing as the previous two, but still it hurt to even think about. He sighed and closed his eyes once more, letting the thoughts consume him once again.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(Flashback)
He was sitting on the back porch with Draco, on the swing. They were laughing, like always. They laughed a lot, now that Voldemort was gone. Things that were once serious could be amusing now that the threat was gone. This particular day, the Triwizard Tournament in their fourth year was the topic.
"I remember I was so jealous of you when your name came from that goblet. I think I wanted to kill you at that moment in time, I mean...it just wasn't fair, you know? I wanted so much to be in that tournament, but no, like usual, you got the better end of things. I got to sit around and worry about you the whole time. I was angry, so I did some pretty mean stuff, but it was only because I thought you'd end up dead. And you nearly did!" he said, grinning. Harry punched his shoulder.
"Like I'd die. Seems I'm invincible. After all, I survived Voldemort...five, six, seven times? Maybe eight? I lost track after awhile. It all got rather repetitive, after the first few times. That one I remember clear as anything though. I'd rather not talk about it again, though. Hey, so you were jealous of me? Why Draco, I'm flattered." Harry said, laughing. Draco went scarlet.
"Can it, Harry. I didn't mean to set you off on making fun of me again. Anyways...it's rather cold out here. I think I'll go in. You can stay out here and freeze, if you want." Draco answered, and with that he stood and walked inside, Harry doubling over in laughter.
(End Flashback)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Harry stood quickly, as if scared that the memories would keep coming harder if he stayed there; but they chased him. He ran his hands over everything, each thing having its own story.
While he did this, across town, his daughter had just gotten the lead role in the recital, even though she was only five. A platinum blond woman and a man of similar hair color came into the room. Everyone just stared; the dance instructor went up to him.
"May I help you?" she asked.
"Yes," said the man. "Actually, I own this little company." he said, smiling. She went white.
"Mr. Malfoy! I am so, so sorry, sir." she said, smiling back, a little shocked. Rea's head snapped up; she had heard her mommy and daddy both mention him before.
"It's quite alright," Malfoy said. "This is my wife, Veronica. She is interested in ballet, and wanted to come watch. I thought I would join her of course." he explained.
"We just finished up try-outs for our recital. This is our lead, miss Rea Potter." the dance instructor said, pointing to the five year old girl, who stared up at him with inquisitive eyes. Draco's face, if possible, went even more pale. He regained his composure and looked down at her. She looked a bit nervous, he thought.
"So you're the lead? You're rather young. How old are you?" he asked. She jumped a little.
"Ummm...I-I'm five, sir." she answered, so quiet that he could barely hear her.
'Five? Rea Potter...is she...? Could she be? She looks...' he thought to himself, confused. She had silver eyes, curly black hair, she was very pale. He stared at her for a moment.
"Well, congratulations on your lead role, Miss Potter. I'll be sure to come see you, if time permits. Veronica will want to come, won't you, darling?" he asked, smiling. She nodded.
"I'd love to! That is, if you'll bring me, Draco." Veronica answered, smiling.
"Well, then. I guess we'll be coming back soon. When is the recital?" he asked, at the door. The instructor looked extremely nervous.
"A month from Friday, sir." she said. He nodded.
"See you then. I'll make the time to drop by." he said, and he and his wife left. Rea watched them go with curiosity. Who was this man to her parents? Now she had some questions to ask them.
Finally, it was time for Harry to pick up Rea. Now that he was out of sight of the house, he was reminded once more why he had made a vow to never return to it again. He picked Rea up from practice, and the instructor came over and congratulated him on his daughter. He just smiled at her, pride evident on his expressive face. The first words out of her mouth when she was in her carseat, and they were pulling out of the studio were:
"Who is Draco Malfoy, daddy?" Harry's heart nearly stopped. He was so shocked that he nearly fainted; no, correction, he just nearly passed out. She continued.
"'Cuz I heard you and mommy talking about him one time..." she said, curious.
"Why do ask, hunny?" he managed to choke out.
"Well, he came by the studio today, and looked at me funny, and that's why." Harry stepped on the brake so hard that Rea jolted forward in her carseat. She looked at him funny, catching her breath. 'Daddy is acting strange...I've never seen him like this before.' she thought, confused. Finally, after about five minutes of silence(Something told Rea not to bother him until he talked first), he spoke.
"He's an acquaintance. That's all." he said, abrupt. This startled her from her daydream of living on Sesame Street, and immediately resulted in her bombarding him with questions, all of which Harry had never thought he would have to answer. At least, not to his daughter at five years old.
'Why? Why did all this have to happen? Why now?' he thought to himself, wanting to cry but stopping himself since he didn't want Rea to see him cry. The last thing he needed right now was to make his daughter wonder why he was crying. He was going through enough already. Why this? Why now? He just asked himself this over and over, and came up with no explanation.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Who is he? What does he do? How do you and mommy know him? Daddy, come on!" Rea begged, as they drove towards home.
"Not right now, Rea. I'll tell you when you're older, okay?" he answered, trying to get her to stop.
"But I wanna know! Please, daddy?" she continued, pouting.
"Not today, okay?" he answered, finality in his tone.
"But daddy, how do you know him? He looked all snotty and rich! Since when do we know anybody who's rich?" she said, annoyed.
"Rea Celestra Potter, how dare you? I think that deserves a time-out young lady." he said, looking at her through the rear-view mirror. She had a sad look on her face.
"But daddy-" she began.
"No buts, young lady! Why would you ever say such a thing?" he asked, serious.
"Because it's true, daddy." she replied, matter-of-factly. He sighed.
"Okay, well...I guess we need to talk, just you and me, when we get home." he said, quiet. He had no wish to explain all this to his daughter, not now. Not at her young age.
"About him..." he said, sighing. Rea perked up, interested.
"Yes daddy?" she asked, sweetly.
"I knew him from school. We were friends, that's all I can tell you. Honestly, sweetheart." he said, putting on a fake smile. They got home, and he put Rea down for her nap, then went to talk to Ginny, who was getting ready for work. She kissed him on the cheek, and he sat down on the bed and closed his eyes. All he could think was, 'Why does everything have to happen now? Why?' Suddenly he realized Ginny was talking to him, and he hadn't heard a thing she was saying.
"Hey, you in there? Earth to Harry!" she said, giggling a bit. He snapped out of it.
"Yeah, sorry...zoned out for a bit." he answered, shaking his head.
"Well, did Rea get the part?" she asked, smiling. He nodded.
"Yes, she got the lead." he said, quiet. She had a huge smile on her face.
"I told her she would. When is her recital?" she continued. He sighed.
"In a month." he explained. This was getting annoying.
"Well okay...I bet she is going to be the best ballet dancer in the world-" she said, but Harry cut her off.
"Do you miss it?" he asked, suddenly, his voice serious. She gave him a confused look.
"Miss what, hun?" she replied.
"Miss magic. Do you?" he asked, quiet. She sat down beside him on the bed and sighed.
"Not really...I mean, I use a type of magic every day, don't I? And I have you and Rea to come home to. It more than makes up for it." she said, just as quiet. She had a small smile on her face. "Do you miss it?" she asked, curious.
"No...no, I don't. I was just wondering if you had any regrets about living in the Muggle world..." he sighed.
"No." she said, sweetly. She kissed him quickly, her eyes shining.
"That was nice, you know. Just the two of us, talking. We haven't done that in a long time-" she said. His mind snapped quickly back to his memory from earlier, of himself and Draco, nearly saying that same thing. He pushed it away. "Well, talk to you later, hun!" she said, and was gone. He felt a migraine and more memories coming on, so he went downstairs to drown his sorrows in milk and cookies. After that he went to check on Rea, and when he looked in on her he realized just how much like an angel she resembled. He wondered how he had gotten so lucky to have such a daughter as her. He shook his head and went downstairs, turning on the television. On the channel he flipped past, there came a face he knew well. He smiled and turned up the volume, but not too loud because he didn't want to wake Rea. It was a hospital report; it showed Ginny, the best nurse to ever grace England in his opinion. The mother to his child...yet even though he was married to her, and he loved her dearly, it was never in the way Ginny loved him. She had found him and brought him back from the depths of despair, she loved him unconditionally not matter what the cost. Why? She didn't deserve this life, she didn't deserve to be used like this...
"Why could I never have the life I dreamed of? A white picket fence, two story house, white shutters, the damned annoying dog, why? Rea doesn't deserve to get caught up in this, neither does Ginny. Neither asked to be in this. Damn, why do I always end up hurting the ones I love?' he asked himself, tears in his eyes. None of this was supposed to happen. None of it. Ginny was a good friend to him, she had always been. She had crushed on him forever while they were in school, he had saved her life in their second year...yet, he had never loved her like that. He had treated her like a little sister, anything more was just awkward. He had never meant for any of this to happen. Why? His mind drifted to something Hagrid had once said to him.
"What's comin' will come, an' we'll meet it when it does."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Draco looked up from the book he was reading, unable to concentrate. Veronica was watching some soap opera, her eyes not leaving the screen. He honestly didn't understand why she like Muggle things like television so much, he found it rather annoying and a total waste of time. As a matter of fact, much of what Veronica did annoyed him, he just didn't have the heart to tell her that. She was much to sensitive to yell at, let alone criticize. So he just let her get on with watching whatever it was. It kept her away from him for awhile, anyway. He put his book down and went to the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of orange juice. He sat down at the table and pulled the muggle paper to him, and on the front page was the ballet studio's recital story. It listed the entire cast, and at the head of it was one Miss Rea Celestra Potter. He completely forgot his glass of wine, and just stared at the name, remembering the face of the little girl.
"Rea Celestra Potter...that's a very uncommon name...and she looks so much like him. She has to be his daughter. But...she doesn't look like Ginny at all. Well, I guess, a little bit, but that could just be me. Hmmm..." he wondered, absentmindedly running a hand through his straight blonde hair. He put down the paper, and his mind wandered.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* (Flashback)
It was a sunny day, he and Harry were at the Quidditch pitch at Hogwarts, throwing the Snitch and seeing who would catch it first. As always, Harry won. But Draco wasn't half bad either, and managed to get it a few times.
"You aren't going easy on me, are you, Harry?" he called. Harry laughed.
"Only if you think I am!" he answered, dropping the Snitch again. After a moment, Draco saw it and went lunging toward it. He had gotten a Firebolt for his last birthday, so his speed finally matched Harry's. They were both amazingly good at Quidditch, but Draco had always been behind Harry because of his broom. Now, however, they were even. He launched into a nosedive, Harry right behind him. He stretched his arm out, felt his fingers close around the tiny winged thing, and pulled up quickly before he smashed into the ground. Harry had a mock-scowl on his face; Draco just smiled.
"Told you it was all the broom's fault that I wasn't as good as you. Look, I can catch it easy now." he said, letting it go again. They sped after it, laughing.
(End Flashback)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Harry heaved himself up off the couch and took a deep breath. Suddenly, he remembered the music box. It was still out in the car. He stood, stretching, and slowly, almost mechanically, went out to get it. After he had retrieved it, he walked up the stairs to his bedroom and opened his walk-in closet. He pulled out the box, the one that Rea had found the music box in, and he set the music box aside. He reached into the box and pulled out a ragged photo album; opening it, he smiled a little bit. Inside were pictures of his parents, Sirius, his friends...he looked at it for a moment before setting it aside. One more look and he found what he wanted: another photo album, not quite as worn as the last one. He opened this one as well, but didn't put it aside like the other, and his eyes looked over the pictures much longer.
Some of the pictures were muggle ones, they didn't move, but there were some wizarding photos, too, and they moved. The wizarding ones were in the front; there was Draco and himself, sitting on a park bench far away from one another. He remembered suddenly why he had always preferred muggle pictures, you could capture the moment and make it happy forever, not turn into something sad like this one. He flipped back to the muggle pictures and tears started to roll slowly down his face. He was startled when a soft sleepy voice came from behind him.
"Daddy...whatcha doin'...?" he turned around and saw Rea clutching her teddy bear and blankie, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
"Pumpkin, what are you doing up?" he asked, softly. She came over.
"Daddy, were you crying? And...what is that?" she asked, curious. He sighed.
"This? Oh, it's nothing hunny." he answered. She didn't believe him.
"Yes it is something." she answered, and before he could do anything about it, the curious little girl had pulled the photo album from his grasp and looked at it. Her eyes grew wide.
"Daddy...it's Mr. Malfoy!" she said, surprised. He looked at her with a sadness in his eyes unlike any she had ever seen. Suddenly she felt sorry for what she had done and dropped the album.
"I'm sorry, daddy! I didn't mean to, you didn't want me to look...I shouldn't have...I'm sorry, daddy!" she cried, teary eyed. He took a deep breath.
"Come here, Rea." he said. She did as she was told, and he picked her up and sat her on his lap, hugging her for a moment. Then he picked up the photo album and flipped to the front. Her eyes grew wide at the sight of moving pictures.
"Daddy, why do the pictures move? Pictures don't move, they're supposed to stay still! Are there real people in them?" she asked, curious. He smiled.
"No, hunny. They move because they were made to. See those two? Their names are Lily and James. They're my mom and dad. They died when I was a year old. The house caught fire and burned to the ground; my uncle got me out and took me to my Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon's house. You haven't met them, we don't exactly like each other. My uncle Sirius died when I was 15, you'd love him. All the rest of my relatives are dead." he explained.
"Do you have any pictures of Uncle Sirius?" she asked, smiling. He pointed to the picture of Sirius as Best Man at his parents' wedding.
"Here he is. He was my Godfather when my parents died, but I didn't even know him til I was 13. He had been....away for 12 years. Ever since he took me to my aunt and uncles house." he said, quiet. When he got no response, he looked down at Rea and smiled. She was fast asleep. Sitting down the album, he stood, and carried her back to her room. He put her in her bed, kissed her lightly on the forehead, and turned, leaving the room. He spent another hour or so crying quietly over pictures in the photo album.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Draco couldn't sleep. He was sitting in his living room, only a few candles were lit, and he had some classical music playing in the background. He only played classical music when he couldn't sleep, it helped calm his nerves. Which, he reminded himself, had only been after he had married Veronica. Before that, the last time was in his seventh year at Hogwarts, when Voldemort was still at large. He had way too much on his mind at the moment. As he sat there, staring into space, an idea suddenly came to him.
"If this Rea is his daughter, then surely he'll show up at the recital to watch her. And Ginny, too. If they do, then I'll know. Veronica wanted to go anyway, now I'll be sure to make the time. I can't stand ballet, but I'll sit through it if it means I can figure this out." he said to himself. He felt annoyed; this very rarely happened anymore unless it was annoyance with Veronica for being such a ditz. After all, he had only married so he wouldn't be so depressed. It had worked for awhile, but she was just so...annoying! There was no other word for it. It wasn't that she wasn't a good person, she just wasn't his type. And after awhile, their screaming matches had gotten old. Now they just regarded each other with an unnerving pleasantness that made him sick to his stomach sometimes. He wondered, 'Why have I put up with her for so long?' Then he just shrugged.
"I have no clue, but I've just about had enough of it." he said, standing. It seemed to him as if his body moved without his approval, taking him up the stairs and down the hall of the third floor, to the end room. He knew what this room was; fumbling with the key-ring he had in his pocket, he drew out a silver key with a black lining, putting it in the key- hole and turning it. The door creaked open and he went inside, switching on the lights. There wasn't much in this room, but he didn't seem to mind that, as he went straight to the closet and muttered a few words to some kind of spell, and the door opened. Inside was a room full of boxes, and trunks. They all had his writing on them, and labels as to what was in them. He had stored them here after he had moved out of the house he had shared with Harry.
Sighing, he wondered 'Why me?' and sat down, pulling the nearest box toward him. This was a mistake, he knew it, but something told him to want to remember. He took a deep breath and began to go through the contents of the long-forgotten box.
The first thing in the box was a watch. A pocket watch, actually. It was silver, with gold trim, and hung on a silver chain. He turned it over, looking at the inscription on the back. "To Draco, From Harry, with love: Happy 17th birthday" in beautiful, loopy cursive script. He closed his eyes and fought the onslaught of memories that threatened to appear in his mind's eye, and took a deep, calming breath before pulling the next thing out of the box. He smiled and laughed a bit, remembering. This was the flask to the potion Harry had snuck in his food in seventh year, to turn his skin purple, and it hadn't come out for weeks. That was the most humiliating, yet exceedingly hilarious, four weeks of his life. He could remember every day of it like it was yesterday, but he stopped himself because he didn't want to. Hell, he didn't even know what had possessed him to come up here in the first place!
The next thing was a picture frame. He pulled it out and turned it over, and the smile left his face to be replaced by a look of detached emptiness. It was a wizarding picture, so it moved. And what he saw disturbed him more than anything he had seen in a long time. Now, for the first time, he understood why Harry had always preferred Muggle pictures over wizard ones. Unfortunately, Draco had no muggle pictures of the two of them, he had found no reason to have them, since he had always enjoyed moving pictures so much better. Now he dearly wished that he had some. In the picture, when it had first been taken, he and Harry had been standing in front of Hogwarts, Draco had put his arm over Harry's shoulder, and they were laughing. Now, however, there was no Harry in this picture. Draco stood by himself, a sadness in his eyes that he himself hoped there had never been before in real life. But somehow he knew that there had been this sadness, not so very long ago. For the first time in years, he felt tears, white-hot, pulling at his eyes, before he dropped the picture, put his head in his hands, and cried. The seemingly emotionless Draco Malfoy had finally broken down and cried.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Harry fell asleep clutching the photo album, and about an hour later, he woke up from a soft tugging on his sleeve. He opened his eyes, blinking several times, an saw Rea standing there.
"What do you want, hun?" he asked, tired.
"I'm hungry, daddy." she said, bluntly. He smiled a bit.
"Well, how about you and I go out to eat?" he said, sitting up. She grinned.
"Really daddy?" she said, excited.
"Yes, hun. How 'bout it?" he said, standing, and putting the photo album back in the place he had found it.
"Yeah, that sounds like fun!" she said.
"Well, let me get cleaned up and then you get cleaned up, and how about we make a night of it? Eating, a little dancing, maybe some shopping?" he continued, wiping his eyes. Her eyes lit up; a wide smile broke out on her face.
"Yeah! Can we, daddy?" she said, as if she couldn't believe him.
"Of course, precious." he answered. She ran back to her room to pick out her outfit; he walked to the bathroom, grabbed one of the dark blue fluffy towels, undressed, and got in the shower. He turned on the spray and thought back to his dream; it had been about talking to a dragon, a pure white dragon, with piercing blue eyes. He had told the dragon everything; the pain, the love, everything. All his troubles. And the dragon listened, then it changed into a faerie, a little one that looked like Rea. She told him to follow her, then things took a very strange turn. But, even as he tried to remember the dream, it slipped from his grasp. He finished his shower and then gave Rea her bath. After they were both dressed, they went to one of the nicest restaurants the city had to offer. It was called Midnight Falls, it was a beautiful place. They ate in style, and during dinner, there was a band. It started to play a slow melody as many couples got up and started to dance. Harry got up, bowing low to his daughter.
"May I have this dance, Miss Potter?" he asked, cordially. She about bursted out laughing.
"Yes, sir, you may." she answered, in the sweetest voice she could muster when she was about to fall over laughing at the antics of her father. She giggled, and he picked her up; they started to waltz around the room. The song ended, and he put her down, bowing again. He offered her his arm and she giggled again, walking beside him. Soon after, they paid, and then Harry took her to a local toy store where she went straight to the stuffed animals and picked out a huge Care Bear. She put it in her daddy's arms and then went in search of others. She returned to him with a huge Cookie Monster, and a small teddy bear. He shook his head and refused to look her in the eyes, for just as it had happened long ago, he could deny no one with those eyes and the way they looked at him. Unfortunately, he was finally forced to look down and he saw her pouting; his angel. She was already spoiled beyond most childrens' wildest dreams. He sighed.
"Okay...but don't tell mommy. She is going to kill me for this." he said, serious. He paid for the items; they barely fit into the car. Rea was deliriously happy. He turned on the radio and almost gasped at the song. It was "Ordinary Boy" by Vanessa Carlton. He hummed along, then Rea asked:
"What song is this, daddy?" He answered and she declared she liked it. The next song on was his and Rea's song; it was the first song he remembered hearing after she was born. Rea smiled and started to sing. She had his singing voice; her personality, her voice, her face, all of it was his, not Harry's. When he got home, he parked the car in the garage and helped Rea lug her treasure into her room. He smiled and told her:
"You're going to need another room just for all your stuffed animals, soon enough."
"I know!" she said, and clung to her new teddy bear, smiling. She put the others in the closet. He helped her change into her pj's and then told her to pick out something to do while he changed too. He came back and saw she had pulled out her make-believe set. He smiled and she said:
"You can be the knight in shining armor, or the prince." she held up the two figures; he chose the prince, and Rea became the faerie princess, imprisoned by the evil Bear Lord. They played, and he left his daughter, once again, in hysterics with his antics.
"What do you want me to read tonight?" he asked, after they were done and she was in bed.
"I wanna hear your's and mommy's story." she decided.
"Okay..." he began. "I was at a train station to go to my new school, and your mommy was there with her family. That was the first time I ever saw her. The next year, I went to her house, and she was very shy. Things went from there. She came to the same school and one of her brothers was my best friend-" Rea interrupted.
"I don't have any uncles..." she said.
"Well see, mommy was different. And no, you don't have any uncles." he replied.
"Daddy?" she continued.
"Yes, hun?"
"Why don't I look like mommy? I mean, I look like you a lot, but I don' t think I look like mommy much. Why is that?" she asked.
"Because you got all your looks from my side of the family," he joked. "Anyway, we just got closer and closer as time went by, and after school we just thought it was right for us to marry." he finished the story.
"I like that story, daddy. Tell me another one...about you and Mr. Malfoy." she said.
"Later, hunny. How about you and I go watch TV?" he answered, abruptly.
"Okay." she decided, and they went downstairs. They were up all night, watching just whatever they wanted. They fell asleep around 6 in the morning; they were lucky that it was Saturday, otherwise neither of them would have gotten up in time for Rea to go to school, and Harry to work. When Ginny got home, she found them asleep on the couch, and cartoons were on the TV. She shut it off, kissed both of them on the cheek, then went upstairs without making a sound.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Draco awoke with a start. He realized, without really looking, that he was still in the closet, in that room that he had forbidden from himself five years ago. Angry with himself, he cursed rather loudly, and pushed the box that he had been going through back against the wall. Veronica probably hadn't even noticed he was gone. Tired, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, and looked out the closet door to the window across the room. It was daylight out, unlike when he had come up here. Around 3:00, he guessed, and he had always been good at telling the time by guessing.
Standing, he had to catch his balance. He was dizzy, for some reason. Telling himself it was because he had stood so quickly, he shut the closet door and hurried out of the room, trying to tell himself that he hadn't cried last night. That the defenses he had put up five years ago hadn't been broken. But in his heart he knew that this was wrong, and that eventually he would have to stop lying to himself. He wasn't invincible, in fact, he was the farthest thing from it. And if he could go back, change it all again, sure, he'd do things differently. But that didn't matter, now did it?
'What's done is done. It's over, Draco. It's been over for five years and you've forgotten about it. Why let the memories come back now?' he asked himself.
'You've never forgotten about it. Stop lying to yourself. Every night for a year you only slept three hours a night, and even then you'd wake up crying. You still find yourself thinking of him at random moments when you shouldn't be. And now you've seen the girl who could only be his daughter. What are you going to do, Draco? Keep lying to yourself? Because you've gotten very good at it.' he contradicted himself. Why? What was the use of all this except to drive him deeper into the depression that had hung over him for five years? And what could he do to stop this little nagging voice in the back of his head from driving him insane with truths about himself?
He drove the thoughts from his mind and set about getting himself breakfast.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: Hello, Lady Shaylee here. It's 12:47 PM and all is well, well I at least hope all is well. All is well in my room just listing to the local radio station and, you know, having a ball, and I hope all is well with you. *is hit with very large book by co author or plot babbits, who knows* Sorry, I ramble when I'm nervous. Well, I see you have come to take a look at our little fic, and since this is our first attempt *note emphasis on attempt* at slash. I can only hope you go easy on me. Hope you enjoy and it isn't the worst fic you have ever read. You might even like it! Either way, we didn't write this completely out of free will. Tthe plot bunnies attacked me and my co author and we were forced to write this fic. THE EVIL REAL ELVISH COIN OF DOOOOOOOOOOOM had a hand in this fic too, so the ideas aren't mine. My sanity and thoughts are not mine either, they belong respectively to my muse and plot bunnies,so please don't hold me accountable and if you do, Iplead temporary insanity.Please review or flame. The future of this fic depends on you:the reader,to review and save what is left of my sanity for goodness sakes.Don't make me beg.Okay,never mind.Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee review!Love ya all!*goes into hiding and waits for chaos to ensue* Oh,and one last thing:If indeed you feel the need to flame us,be warned that the plot bunnies won't take it kindly.Sorry,just to forewarn you.Consider yourself warned and *is hit with another book and is told to shut up they,get it already,then hears evil laugh of plot bunnies,shivers and goes back into hiding*