Memories
Disclaimer: I own nothing. It all belongs to J.K.Rowling (except the plot which was all mine)
I quickly head to Platform nine and three quarters. It had been ten years since I had last done this and I was a little nervous. It was my ten year reunion and I had not seen my old friends since I left. Among those friends were Harry and Ron.
I lived among muggles now. I lived in London and worked as a curator at a museum. Art had always fascinated me. I lived in a one bedroom flat. Nothing fancy, but since I lived alone, it was perfect for me.
I knew that I had nothing to show off at the reunion. Most of the girls were probably married with children by now but I was still single. I didn't even have witch and wizard friends. The only one from the wizarding world who I kept in touch with was Ginny Weasley. She kept me informed on Ron and Harry's life. I was extremely upset when she told me she and Harry had married. It wasn't that I was jealous, but I wish they had invited me. I knew Harry still held a grudge towards me but I thought one day he would get over it.
Ginny once told me Harry and Ron became Quidditch players for the Chudley Cannons, so I decided to never miss a game. It was the only thing I ever kept up with in the wizard world. They were still in my heart regardless to if we were still in this fight. To be honest, I forgot what we had fought about. It was all so long ago.
I boarded the train and found an empty compartment. Good thing too. I was dreading this reunion and the longer I could stay away from everyone, the better. I felt at home on the Hogwarts Express and drifted off to sleep.
When I awoke, the train was pulling to a stop. I grabbed my old robes and threw them on. Then I got off the train and onto an empty carriage. Luckily, no one got on with me. I was happy that I had managed to avoid everyone thus far. It was a week long reunion and I knew I wouldn't have much time alone. I would be back in my old room with Lavender and Parvati and those two never shut up.
We reached the school and entered the Great Hall. Everyone ran to their house tables and began catching up. I just stood at the doors for a few minutes, taking in the atmosphere. Oh how I had missed Hogwarts. It was my home away from home. My life, my love. It was the ONLY place, and I do mean the only place, I had ever felt safe.
My peace was disturbed by a hand on my shoulder. Much to my surprise, it was Ron. "Hey, 'Mione." He said sheepishly. I could see on his face that he was hoping I wouldn't slap him and instead that I would forgive him for whatever it was that we fought over ten years before.
"Ronald Weasley, it has been far too long." I replied with a smile. "Come here and give your old friend a hug." We embraced and for a moment I considered never letting him go but soon enough I realized that he was cutting off my air supply. "Can't breathe!" I managed to say. He pulled away and his cheeks were red with embarrassment. "Ron you haven't changed." He smiled at this.
"You have though. 'Mi, just look at you." I smiled hearing my old nickname. No one had called me that in ten years. "Your hair is shorter than usual, shoulder length, and you're wearing make up!" he said with surprise in his voice. "And you're not carrying a book any longer."
It was my turn to blush. He knew me too well. I opened my purse for him to look inside. A small paper back novel was visible and he laughed. "I missed you 'Mi!"
"I missed you too, Hermione!" I whizzed around to see who else was speaking to me and there he was. The-Boy-Who-Lived, glasses, scar, and all. He smiled at me and I forgot all bones I had to pick with him.
"HARRY!" I shouted with glee. I wrapped my arms around him and smiled as his arms wrapped around me as well. Our embrace told both of us that all was forgiven but I wasn't sure really what there was to forgive, or even who was forgiving who. I pulled away and looked at him. He too had not changed save for the ring on his finger. "I missed you both so much." I felt tears forming in my eyes and I let one roll down my cheek.
"Let's go sit down and talk." Ron suggested. We made our way to the Gryffindor table. I sat down next to Harry and across from Ron.
"Mione, there's something we still can't figure out." Ron blurted out. I wasn't sure what was coming but I would be glad to answer any of their questions. "Why did you leave the wizarding community after the war? We looked around for you and were afraid that maybe you hadn't survived but Dumbledore said you had and that you wanted to be left alone. Why?"
I winced at the memory and the hurt in his voice. "I needed to start over. You guys, during the war, I lost a lot. So many of our friends, my own parents were killed and..." I knew there was something else I had lost but it was almost as if someone had performed a memory charm on me. "I was just drained. I thought that if I went to the muggle world, everyone here would just forget about me and I could start over. And I did. I started over, made a new life for myself." What was it that I couldn't remember? I could feel it. It was something so important to me, but... what? I seemed to have forgotten a number of things and for the life of me I couldn't think of what they were. The fight, what it was that I had lost. These were important things. Why couldn't I remember? "Listen guys. I've missed you two so much. Must we really bring up bad memories on such a joyous day? I haven't seen you in a decade!"
They smiled and Harry gave me a hug. Ron said, "Sorry, 'Mi. Didn't mean to. I just had to know."
"It's okay Ron." I put my hand over his to comfort him, let him know I was fine. "In all honesty, I wish I could tell you more but - I - well this will sound a bit strange but - I - I don't remember why I was in so much pain. I just remember feeling like, well killing myself. I don't know why though. It's as if some one erased my memory." The two boys looked straight at each other with odd expressions that I didn't really understand and then Harry spoke up.
"Oi! Hermione, I am so sorry. We had no idea. We thought you just hated us!" Harry exclaimed.
"NO! I could never hate you two. I love you both so much. Plus, it's okay now. Everything is fine now. I've healed from whatever pain it was that filled my heart. I'm just glad to be home."
They both smiled at me warmly and then Dumbledore stood at the teachers table.
"Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. My how you've grown. Let me tell you how proud I am of all of you and your accomplishments. This week, we have many activities planned for you. After the feast you may go to your rooms or stay up chatting and reacquainting yourselves with old friends. Now, let's eat!" With a swish of his hands, food appeared in front of them and everyone dug in.
"Guys, what happened to Malfoy?" I asked.
They both practically spit their food out. "M-Ma-Malfoy?" Ron squeaked.
"Yeah, I don't see him by Crabbe, Goyle, or Pansy. In fact, I don't see him anywhere. You guys are in the wizarding world. What happened to him?"
"Why do you ask?" Harry asked with paranoia in his voice.
"Curiosity." I said simply. I was just curious, nothing more.
"Oh... yes... well... he's in St. Mungo's."
"WHAT?" Harry and Ron exchanges glances and I knew they were hiding something from me. "What are you not telling me?"
"N-Nothing!" Ron shouted. "Just, let's forget about Malfoy. It's late. Let's go to sleep." I was so tired that I didn't press the issue any longer. We went up to the Gryffindor Tower and the Fat Lady looked at us with tears in her eyes.
"OH. IT'S YOU THREE! I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!" She cried with happiness. "I've been here for years and no group of friends have ever interested the school more than you have."
"It's nice to see you again, too." I said pleasantly. "Unfortunately, I'm so tired. So we'll have to catch up tomorrow." I stifled a yawn and said the password. "Goodnight, boys." I ran to my room, got changed, and went to sleep. My dreams were interesting but the second I awoke, they were gone. I couldn't remember a single one.
The sunlight poured through the windows and into my eyes, waking me up. I jumped up and got dressed into tight, blue denim shorts, and a pink camisole. It was summer and extremely hot outside so I wanted to stay as cool as possible. I ran down to the Great Hall and took a seat. It was early and not many were up yet including Harry and Ron, so I just took out a book and started reading while drinking my coffee. A few minutes after I had sat down, an owl came flying in. It looked familiar but I couldn't figure out whose it was. The owl dropped a small black box and a note on my lap. Then, he quickly flew off. I ripped open the note and it read:
You loved Hogwarts so very much
And were great at solving mysteries
You were so extremely smart
You'll most likely go down in history
It's time to solve
Just one more riddle
It plagues your mind
And makes you feel little
What you have forgotten
In a pensieve, it can be seen
Use the key inside
The pensieve's in the library
I looked inside the box and just as the note had said, there was a key. Hm... it's in the library? A pensieve? Lost memories? This reunion just got weird. My thoughts were interrupted when Harry and Ron showed up.
"Hey, 'Mi. What you got there?" Ron asked looking at the key that I now held in my hand.
"Nothing." I replied almost too quickly. I shoved the key in my pockets praying they wouldn't question any further. "So how did you two sleep?" They smiled at me.
"Like a log. I never realized how much I missed Hogwarts. I slept better than I have in years." Ron said looking surprisingly awake.
"Yeah, I know what you mean, Ron. I slept so great I didn't want to wake up." Harry said cheerily. "So 'Mione, we want to spend the whole day catching up with you. Are you in?"
"Yes of course. But wait. I overheard Professor McGonagall saying something about a wizard chess tournament today. Ron, aren't you going to enter the tournament?"
"WIZARD CHESS TOURNAMENT?!? Sorry guys, can we catch up tomorrow?" He didn't wait for an answer. He just left to go sign up.
"So it's just you and me, 'Mi. Want to go watch Ron beat everyone?"
"Yes of course, Harry." We went to watch the match and Ron was, dare I say, kicking some serious ass. Harry and I chatted back and forth all day reminiscing of the "good old times."
"So Hermione, what do you do now? Where do you work. To be honest, I always thought you'd make a great Minister of Magic."
"I imagine that would be fun, taking Fudge's spot" I chuckled. "But no, I work at a muggle art museum, as a curator." Dumbledore sneaked up behind us and decided to break in on the conversation.
"Really, Miss Granger? Well then I have an offer for you. We are offering a course for Hogwarts students to take, but we have yet to find a teacher. The course is art history, of course the curriculum consists of all magical paintings, sculptures and such but I think you'd be a great teacher. I always said I'd love to have you on my staff."
"Thanks Professor Dumbledore but-" he cut me off.
"Albus, please."
"OH... well thank you ever so much, Albus, but I really must think about it. I mean, I am happy where I live and work."
"I understand, take your time. But we need to know before school begins in a month."
"All right." We continued to watch the tournament and Ron won. We cheered and I gave him a loving hug. "Congrats, Ron." Then I turned to leave.
"'MIONE! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" Harry called out.
I turned to face him and smiled. "To the library." I kept going until I reached my destination. Now, if I were a pensieve in the Library, where would I be? That's the question. Maybe Madame Pince would know.
"Madame Pince, have you seen a pensieve someone left here for me?"
She looked at me like I had grown another head. "Dearie me, it's you Miss Granger. Good to see you . But no. I have not seen a pensieve. Sorry."
"Thanks, anyway." I said kindly. I then turned around. They must've hidden it. Where though? Hm... Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. The loose board in the Restricted Section. It is where I used to hide anything I wanted to keep away from prying eyes, namely Harry and Ron. But once again, I couldn't seem to remember what it was I was keeping away from my two best friends.
I sneaked into the back without Madame Pince noticing and found the squeaky board. I knelt down and picked it up, careful not to make much noise. When I opened it, I saw a number of things. There was a stack of letters all addressed to me, and a pensieve. I decided that the most important thing was the pensieve and everything else I could look at later. I picked up the pensieve and there was a note on top of it.
Now here's what you've been searching for. Once you watch the pensieve, all the memories will be restored. Then, read the letters. They are very important.
Hermione used the key to unlock the pensieve and then, watched as it spilled a number of events that Hermione wished she still couldn't remember.
-Flashback-
I was walking through the school, performing my usual Head Girl duties. It was late and I was extremely tired so I decided to head back to my dorm room. When I approached the portrait hole I quickly said the password. I didn't want to get sucked into another long, dull conversation with the Two Lovers. They always began interrogating me and I wasn't up to all of their questions.
When I entered the Head Common Room, I was quickly caught off guard by an arm around my waist. I squealed out of fear and turned around to see who it was.
"DRACO! DON'T DO THAT!" I exclaimed.
"Sorry love, it's just, well I couldn't resist. You were out late tonight. Were you patrolling the halls?" He asked while planting kisses all over my face.
"Yes. I found two Ravenclaw fourth years snogging each other senseless in the twelfth corridor."
"Maybe we should follow their lead." He said suggestively raising his eyebrows in a seductive fashion.
"Maybe tomorrow, Draco. I'm so tired. Can we just, go to sleep? Would you mind?"
"As long as I get to sleep in your bed."
"Of course, sweetheart. I wouldn't have it any other way."
I ran up to my room and got in my pajamas and he did the same. Soon I heard a knock on my door. "Hermione, are you decent?"
"Yes, Draco. Come on in." He opened the door and came in.
"Ready to sleep?" He got on the bed and laid down, motioning for me to join him. I walked over to him and rested my head on his strong, muscular chest. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I felt comforted.
"Hermione?"
"Mmm... yes Draco?"
"I wanted to tell you something. I've been thinking about it for a while now and I figured it out."
"What is it Draco?"
"Well, I-I think- No I know- I love you, Hermione Granger. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He place a ring on my finger and I felt like I was going to faint.
"Dr-Draco are- are you asking me to-to marry you?"
He laughed. "For the top student of our year, you sure don't catch on quick. Of course I'm asking you to marry me. I love you. Be my wife."
"I-I-I... I don't know what to say. I love you too, Draco. I love you so much. Yes, yes I'll marry you." I said with glee. I lifted my head off of his chest and placed a kiss on his lips. We laid there all night, neither one really asleep but neither of us were really awake either.
-End Flashback-
A tear formed in my eyes. I remembered now. I could remember everything. He was what I had lost, the baby was what I had lost. I lost my love and my family in the war.
-Flashback-
"Draco, we have to tell people. They're going to notice. I'm starting to show. I'm already four months pregnant."
"'Minnie, I told you. Whenever you're ready to tell people, I am. But remember, we graduate tomorrow. They don't even have to see you."
"I know Draco, but I'm hoping that if we tell them now, by the time we have the wedding in August, they'll already have forgiven me. And then maybe Ron or Harry will be the baby's godfather. I don't know. You and the baby are the only things in my life right now that aren't confusing."
"I know what you mean, Minnie. I do, really. But I'm ready to tell people. Hell, I'm ready to shout if off of rooftops. I love you Hermione Granger soon to be Malfoy. There's nothing anyone could ever do to make me change my mind about that."
"What will your father say? What will he do?"
"Well, he won't like it. But he's learned that I'm stronger than him. Last time he tried to use an unforgivable on me in order to 'discipline' me, I turned it around on him. He'll never try that again."
"Oh." He kissed my forehead and then took my hand in his as a sign of comfort.
"Let's go down to the Great Hall and talk to your friends."
"Can you hold my hand all the way there?" I asked. I knew that people would see but that was the point, right?
"Of course. I'll do anything for you. I love you. You're my fiancé and there's nothing in this world I want more than to take care of your every need, want, and desire."
"Thank you Draco. Let's go." We walked down bravely to the Great Hall where Harry and Ron were playing wizard chess. Draco led the way and I was so nervous. "Harry, Ron, we need to talk." I said when we approached them.
"'MI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THIS GIT? TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER, MALFOY!" Harry yelled.
"Now, now, Scarhead. Let's not go getting all overprotective of Hermione. She's a big girl. She can make her own decisions. Besides, I believe she said she had something to tell you, so why don't you just shut your hole and pay attention?"
I sighed with relief. He really was going to be at my side through the entire thing. I loved him so much. "Listen, guys. Since the Christmas Holiday, Draco and I we've been, well, seeing each other romantically."
"WHAT?!?" Ron and Harry shouted simultaneously.
"There's a lot more so don't interrupt. It started out as just a little fun. A snog here and there but neither one of us expected to fall in love. But we did. We fell madly, and deeply in love with each other. About two months ago, Draco proposed and I said yes."
"WHAT?!?" They roared once more.
"There's one more thing. I- I- Well... I'm kind of - pregnant!" I let out. "It's not why we're getting married but it is why we're rushing the wedding. The baby is due in November and the wedding is in August. You have until August to accept what Draco and I share together. If you cannot accept it by then, then do not expect to be part of our lives." I put my hand on my stomach and they followed my hand with their eyes.
"'Mi, it's just - NO! THIS IS WRONG! HE'S MALFOY! HE'S PROBABLY JUST USING YOU! HE'S TORTURED US FOR SEVEN YEARS AND NOW YOU'RE WILLING TO JUST FORGIVE HIM?!?" Harry roared.
"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS, HERMIONE! IT'S LIKE YOU'RE BETRAYING US! HE'S OUR WORST ENEMY!" Ron screamed with anger.
"Listen, Scarhead. You too Weasel. I love Hermione more than life itself. I would never hurt her. I would die for her!"
"Oh yeah?" Harry raged. "You know, Malfoy... there's a war coming. Voldemort's come out of hiding. Which side will you be on. Care to show us your dark mark?"
"I'm not a death eater, Potter. I'm just as much a servant of the dark Lord as you are."
I decided now was the time to break in. "Harry, Draco's changed. He's not the evil jerk you once knew. Can't you just trust me to know what I'm doing?"
"I'm sorry, 'Mi, but I can't. I can't accept this. You're baby is the spawn of Satan, an abomination, and I won't stick around to see it come to life!"
He and Ron ran off extremely upset. I can't say I didn't expect it from them.
-End Flashback-
So that was what our fight was about. I went up to the Gryffindor Common room with the pensieve and the letters in my hand. It was eleven o'clock and I had hoped that they would be asleep but there's no such luck. They were sitting on the couch and from what I could tell, they were waiting for me.
"Hey, 'Mi. Come sit down. We'd love to talk to you, like old times." Harry said while patting the seat on the couch next to him.
"But it can never be like old times, Harry. You two made sure of that. It wasn't my choice to end our friendship. You two did it. My baby wasn't an abomination!" I said, getting angrier with each spoken word.
They looked at each other and I knew what they were thinking so I answered their questions. "When my memory was erased, I left myself something... this pensieve. I knew you would try to erase my memory, make me forget Draco, my love for him, even my child. So I put my memories in the pensieve, along with my ring." I took it out and placed it on my finger. "I cast a spell so that if I was ever to get a hold of the pensieve and open it and watch it, all my memories would be restored to me. I sent myself an owl, to bring me the key at the ten year reunion. I remember everything, guys. Everything."
-Flashback-
The war had begun and Draco and I decided to fight on the side of the light. Well, he had tried to talk me out of it in my condition but I wanted to fight. I knew I would be a great asset to them.
I was separated from Draco and I was roaming the empty Hogwarts corridors, where the battle was waging. I had followed a Death Eater in there. I had my wand handy, in my right hand, prepared for an attack but I never saw it coming. Two attacked from behind and three more in the front. I had no time to even shout a spell. They quickly bound and gagged me and dragged me to the battle waging outside. I was near unconscious after one began to beat me. Another one stopped him and said, "This one is for our Lord. He gets the pleasure of taking this mudbloods life. Whatever you do to Draco's pregnant whore, don't kill her. Our Lord wants her." I willed myself not to shut my eyes. I needed to stay awake for my own life.
They dragged me to the Forbidden Forest and I could see even vampires and other evil creatures backing away in terror. I was thrown onto one mans feet and I just laid there, motionless.
"Draco, this is the price you pay for betraying your father, for lowering yourself. Now your little mudblood bitch will die by my hands." It was Voldemort, no doubt in my mind.
"NO! I'll do whatever you ask of me, just please don't hurt her. Or the child." He pleaded.
"Can you swear on your life, on the child's, that you will stay away from them for as long as you live, that you will never go near them, and that you will join me, and become my most loyal servant."
"You can't ask that of me! They're my family. I love them both too much to ever live without them."
"Wrong answer, young Malfoy." Voldemort hissed. Before I really knew what was happening, I heard him scream, "CRUCIO!" and extreme pain filled my body. "Join me, you fool."
"LET HER GO!" Draco screamed back.
The cruel man snickered. "No. CRUCIO!" More pain surged through me and I doubled over while clutching my stomach.
"The baby," I cried in a whisper. "You're killing my baby! Please stop!" I begged.
"That's enough of you, mudblood. I've heard enough out of your filthy mouth. It's time to see you die... Avada Kedavra!" I waited for my life to end, for the spell to hit me but it never came. I opened my eyes and saw Draco lying on the ground. I knew that since the spell wasn't meant for him, he wasn't dead. But I also knew that he was in serious pain. I called out to him but he didn't answer. I was hurt too much to move, and then I realized
THE BABY HAD STOPPED KICKING! IT WAS - DEAD!
-End Flashback-
"St. Mungo's? He survived? Well then, you two... I need to get some sleep. I have a long day tomorrow. If either of you try to stop me from leaving I swear on your lives, I will not hesitate to risk getting thrown into Azkaban for murder. Understood? I will not have my memory tampered with ever again. In case you didn't know, I have been told that I was the best witch ever to come to this school. That would mean that I could kick both your behinds at once in a wizard duel. Don't tempt me."
I headed up to my room for some sleep, but none came. I took out the notes and began to read. They were love notes from Draco. He used to write me cute little notes while he was in class. I reprimanded him of course. He should have been paying attention to the lesson but I was okay with his short attention span. I liked his notes. They always made me smile.
Still unable to find sleep, I mounted my broom, something I had only done once in my entire life, and that was with Draco right behind me. I flew all night until I reached the hospital. I flung the doors open, running with all of my might. It felt like I was running 100 miles per hour and it was the fastest I had ran in my entire life.
I stopped at the front desk, out of breath and cheeks red from windburn. "Excuse me, miss. But do you happen to know where I could find Draco Malfoy? He's a patient here at St. Mungo's and I desperately need to talk to him." I said to the clerk.
"Yes, ma'am. Go right down that corridor right here," she said while pointing. "Go up the stairs at the end. When you reach the top of the staircase, make a left. He's the fifth door down." I thanked her and turned to leave but she stopped me. "You know, he hasn't had a single visitor and it's almost ten years he's been here. If you don't mind me asking, how do you know him?"
I looked at her with pain in my eyes. How could no one come to visit him? He must have been so lonely. "I'm his fiance." I ran down the hall and up the stairs, to the left and down five doors. I knocked but got no response, so I tried again. Nothing. I twisted the doorknob and the door creaked open.
"Hello?" I asked while moving into the room. I noticed a figure in the bed. He had the room all to himself. That's the only way a Malfoy would live. He would never accept a room partner, unless of course it was me. We shared a room the whole time we were together at Hogwarts. "Draco? Are you there?"
A nurse came in and looked at me with curiosity. "Who are you?" She asked almost offensively.
"I'm here to speak with Draco. May I? I mean, can he... can he even speak? Why is he here exactly. I know he took one of the unforgivable curses but people have recovered from them. What's wrong with him?" There was concern in my voice and the lady looked at me with pity.
"He drove himself crazy, that's what's wrong with him. He babbles in his nightmares about this girl and his dead child. He cries himself to sleep every night and when he wakes up, says nothing. He just stares out the window. He doesn't acknowledge anyone who comes in here. He just sits and stares. He's become mute."
I let a tear fall down my face and a sob escape from my lips. I placed my hand on his shoulder and he shuddered at my touch. "Is he asleep?" I asked. She nodded. "Do you mind if I just sit here, and watch him sleep until he wakes?"
"We're not really supposed to let you, but beings how he's never had a single visitor I suppose he'll like seeing you here. Go ahead and take a seat. Just don't wake him up. It's hard enough just getting him asleep."
"All right." I pulled a chair over to his bed and sat down. My hand reached out and took his in it. It was a simple gesture that I had done every night at Hogwarts when I found him asleep so I knew it wouldn't wake him. I sat there for only god knows how long, just staring at him with wide eyes. He still looked the same, beautiful and perfect. I could tell that he still worked out in his spare time. I loved that body. Oh gods, I shouldn't have been thinking that when he was in a hospital bed.
I saw him moving and I could tell he was waking up, but I kept his hand in mine. I wanted him to know I was there from the moment he woke up. His eyes fluttered open and he looked at me as if I was a dream. A good dream, but a dream none the less. He moved over in his bed and made room for me, as he had done so many times before. I got in and cradled him in my arms. I sang to him a song that I was sure he would remember.
spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here
(a/n Sarah MacLachlan's "Angel")
He lifted his head off of my chest and looked me in the eyes. I knew he was still wondering if I was a dream and I had no way to answer that, so I ran my fingers through his hair and said the words I longed to tell him. "I don't blame you. I never did. It wasn't your fault, Draco." Tears welled up in his eyes as he began to cry.
"Minnie, if I had just said what he wanted. If I had just agreed to his demands then, then -" Minnie was his nickname for me, a loving name that made me feel cute and sweet.
"Then I would have lived a life of never seeing you again and the baby would never know its father. I couldn't have lived knowing that you were out there, killing people all for me. I couldn't have. Draco, sweetheart. Stop blaming yourself. This is not your fault." I kissed his forehead with love. "They say you stopped talking. Is that true?"
"I suppose. I haven't spoken since I told Voldemort I could never leave you." He snuggled into my chest once again and we just laid there for as long as we could without being disturbed.
"Draco?"
"Mmm...?"
"Are you ready to go home?" I wanted to take him out of St. Mungo's. Bring him to the home I had bought ten years ago when I thought we were going to marry. I bought it to be our family's home. It was in the wizarding world, where we both wanted to live.
"Yes," came his reply.
"Draco, why did you stay here all of these years? I know you were depressed but..." he put a finger to my lips. He always loved to shush me in mid sentence.
"I was waiting for you."
A/N... This is a one shot fic although I know I could have expanded it a lot more. If you liked this, be sure to check out my other fics - paralyzed, the sequel called Love Will Conquer All, Carpe Dium, and Time Passes Slowly. Thanks all. Review please.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. It all belongs to J.K.Rowling (except the plot which was all mine)
I quickly head to Platform nine and three quarters. It had been ten years since I had last done this and I was a little nervous. It was my ten year reunion and I had not seen my old friends since I left. Among those friends were Harry and Ron.
I lived among muggles now. I lived in London and worked as a curator at a museum. Art had always fascinated me. I lived in a one bedroom flat. Nothing fancy, but since I lived alone, it was perfect for me.
I knew that I had nothing to show off at the reunion. Most of the girls were probably married with children by now but I was still single. I didn't even have witch and wizard friends. The only one from the wizarding world who I kept in touch with was Ginny Weasley. She kept me informed on Ron and Harry's life. I was extremely upset when she told me she and Harry had married. It wasn't that I was jealous, but I wish they had invited me. I knew Harry still held a grudge towards me but I thought one day he would get over it.
Ginny once told me Harry and Ron became Quidditch players for the Chudley Cannons, so I decided to never miss a game. It was the only thing I ever kept up with in the wizard world. They were still in my heart regardless to if we were still in this fight. To be honest, I forgot what we had fought about. It was all so long ago.
I boarded the train and found an empty compartment. Good thing too. I was dreading this reunion and the longer I could stay away from everyone, the better. I felt at home on the Hogwarts Express and drifted off to sleep.
When I awoke, the train was pulling to a stop. I grabbed my old robes and threw them on. Then I got off the train and onto an empty carriage. Luckily, no one got on with me. I was happy that I had managed to avoid everyone thus far. It was a week long reunion and I knew I wouldn't have much time alone. I would be back in my old room with Lavender and Parvati and those two never shut up.
We reached the school and entered the Great Hall. Everyone ran to their house tables and began catching up. I just stood at the doors for a few minutes, taking in the atmosphere. Oh how I had missed Hogwarts. It was my home away from home. My life, my love. It was the ONLY place, and I do mean the only place, I had ever felt safe.
My peace was disturbed by a hand on my shoulder. Much to my surprise, it was Ron. "Hey, 'Mione." He said sheepishly. I could see on his face that he was hoping I wouldn't slap him and instead that I would forgive him for whatever it was that we fought over ten years before.
"Ronald Weasley, it has been far too long." I replied with a smile. "Come here and give your old friend a hug." We embraced and for a moment I considered never letting him go but soon enough I realized that he was cutting off my air supply. "Can't breathe!" I managed to say. He pulled away and his cheeks were red with embarrassment. "Ron you haven't changed." He smiled at this.
"You have though. 'Mi, just look at you." I smiled hearing my old nickname. No one had called me that in ten years. "Your hair is shorter than usual, shoulder length, and you're wearing make up!" he said with surprise in his voice. "And you're not carrying a book any longer."
It was my turn to blush. He knew me too well. I opened my purse for him to look inside. A small paper back novel was visible and he laughed. "I missed you 'Mi!"
"I missed you too, Hermione!" I whizzed around to see who else was speaking to me and there he was. The-Boy-Who-Lived, glasses, scar, and all. He smiled at me and I forgot all bones I had to pick with him.
"HARRY!" I shouted with glee. I wrapped my arms around him and smiled as his arms wrapped around me as well. Our embrace told both of us that all was forgiven but I wasn't sure really what there was to forgive, or even who was forgiving who. I pulled away and looked at him. He too had not changed save for the ring on his finger. "I missed you both so much." I felt tears forming in my eyes and I let one roll down my cheek.
"Let's go sit down and talk." Ron suggested. We made our way to the Gryffindor table. I sat down next to Harry and across from Ron.
"Mione, there's something we still can't figure out." Ron blurted out. I wasn't sure what was coming but I would be glad to answer any of their questions. "Why did you leave the wizarding community after the war? We looked around for you and were afraid that maybe you hadn't survived but Dumbledore said you had and that you wanted to be left alone. Why?"
I winced at the memory and the hurt in his voice. "I needed to start over. You guys, during the war, I lost a lot. So many of our friends, my own parents were killed and..." I knew there was something else I had lost but it was almost as if someone had performed a memory charm on me. "I was just drained. I thought that if I went to the muggle world, everyone here would just forget about me and I could start over. And I did. I started over, made a new life for myself." What was it that I couldn't remember? I could feel it. It was something so important to me, but... what? I seemed to have forgotten a number of things and for the life of me I couldn't think of what they were. The fight, what it was that I had lost. These were important things. Why couldn't I remember? "Listen guys. I've missed you two so much. Must we really bring up bad memories on such a joyous day? I haven't seen you in a decade!"
They smiled and Harry gave me a hug. Ron said, "Sorry, 'Mi. Didn't mean to. I just had to know."
"It's okay Ron." I put my hand over his to comfort him, let him know I was fine. "In all honesty, I wish I could tell you more but - I - well this will sound a bit strange but - I - I don't remember why I was in so much pain. I just remember feeling like, well killing myself. I don't know why though. It's as if some one erased my memory." The two boys looked straight at each other with odd expressions that I didn't really understand and then Harry spoke up.
"Oi! Hermione, I am so sorry. We had no idea. We thought you just hated us!" Harry exclaimed.
"NO! I could never hate you two. I love you both so much. Plus, it's okay now. Everything is fine now. I've healed from whatever pain it was that filled my heart. I'm just glad to be home."
They both smiled at me warmly and then Dumbledore stood at the teachers table.
"Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. My how you've grown. Let me tell you how proud I am of all of you and your accomplishments. This week, we have many activities planned for you. After the feast you may go to your rooms or stay up chatting and reacquainting yourselves with old friends. Now, let's eat!" With a swish of his hands, food appeared in front of them and everyone dug in.
"Guys, what happened to Malfoy?" I asked.
They both practically spit their food out. "M-Ma-Malfoy?" Ron squeaked.
"Yeah, I don't see him by Crabbe, Goyle, or Pansy. In fact, I don't see him anywhere. You guys are in the wizarding world. What happened to him?"
"Why do you ask?" Harry asked with paranoia in his voice.
"Curiosity." I said simply. I was just curious, nothing more.
"Oh... yes... well... he's in St. Mungo's."
"WHAT?" Harry and Ron exchanges glances and I knew they were hiding something from me. "What are you not telling me?"
"N-Nothing!" Ron shouted. "Just, let's forget about Malfoy. It's late. Let's go to sleep." I was so tired that I didn't press the issue any longer. We went up to the Gryffindor Tower and the Fat Lady looked at us with tears in her eyes.
"OH. IT'S YOU THREE! I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!" She cried with happiness. "I've been here for years and no group of friends have ever interested the school more than you have."
"It's nice to see you again, too." I said pleasantly. "Unfortunately, I'm so tired. So we'll have to catch up tomorrow." I stifled a yawn and said the password. "Goodnight, boys." I ran to my room, got changed, and went to sleep. My dreams were interesting but the second I awoke, they were gone. I couldn't remember a single one.
The sunlight poured through the windows and into my eyes, waking me up. I jumped up and got dressed into tight, blue denim shorts, and a pink camisole. It was summer and extremely hot outside so I wanted to stay as cool as possible. I ran down to the Great Hall and took a seat. It was early and not many were up yet including Harry and Ron, so I just took out a book and started reading while drinking my coffee. A few minutes after I had sat down, an owl came flying in. It looked familiar but I couldn't figure out whose it was. The owl dropped a small black box and a note on my lap. Then, he quickly flew off. I ripped open the note and it read:
You loved Hogwarts so very much
And were great at solving mysteries
You were so extremely smart
You'll most likely go down in history
It's time to solve
Just one more riddle
It plagues your mind
And makes you feel little
What you have forgotten
In a pensieve, it can be seen
Use the key inside
The pensieve's in the library
I looked inside the box and just as the note had said, there was a key. Hm... it's in the library? A pensieve? Lost memories? This reunion just got weird. My thoughts were interrupted when Harry and Ron showed up.
"Hey, 'Mi. What you got there?" Ron asked looking at the key that I now held in my hand.
"Nothing." I replied almost too quickly. I shoved the key in my pockets praying they wouldn't question any further. "So how did you two sleep?" They smiled at me.
"Like a log. I never realized how much I missed Hogwarts. I slept better than I have in years." Ron said looking surprisingly awake.
"Yeah, I know what you mean, Ron. I slept so great I didn't want to wake up." Harry said cheerily. "So 'Mione, we want to spend the whole day catching up with you. Are you in?"
"Yes of course. But wait. I overheard Professor McGonagall saying something about a wizard chess tournament today. Ron, aren't you going to enter the tournament?"
"WIZARD CHESS TOURNAMENT?!? Sorry guys, can we catch up tomorrow?" He didn't wait for an answer. He just left to go sign up.
"So it's just you and me, 'Mi. Want to go watch Ron beat everyone?"
"Yes of course, Harry." We went to watch the match and Ron was, dare I say, kicking some serious ass. Harry and I chatted back and forth all day reminiscing of the "good old times."
"So Hermione, what do you do now? Where do you work. To be honest, I always thought you'd make a great Minister of Magic."
"I imagine that would be fun, taking Fudge's spot" I chuckled. "But no, I work at a muggle art museum, as a curator." Dumbledore sneaked up behind us and decided to break in on the conversation.
"Really, Miss Granger? Well then I have an offer for you. We are offering a course for Hogwarts students to take, but we have yet to find a teacher. The course is art history, of course the curriculum consists of all magical paintings, sculptures and such but I think you'd be a great teacher. I always said I'd love to have you on my staff."
"Thanks Professor Dumbledore but-" he cut me off.
"Albus, please."
"OH... well thank you ever so much, Albus, but I really must think about it. I mean, I am happy where I live and work."
"I understand, take your time. But we need to know before school begins in a month."
"All right." We continued to watch the tournament and Ron won. We cheered and I gave him a loving hug. "Congrats, Ron." Then I turned to leave.
"'MIONE! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" Harry called out.
I turned to face him and smiled. "To the library." I kept going until I reached my destination. Now, if I were a pensieve in the Library, where would I be? That's the question. Maybe Madame Pince would know.
"Madame Pince, have you seen a pensieve someone left here for me?"
She looked at me like I had grown another head. "Dearie me, it's you Miss Granger. Good to see you . But no. I have not seen a pensieve. Sorry."
"Thanks, anyway." I said kindly. I then turned around. They must've hidden it. Where though? Hm... Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. The loose board in the Restricted Section. It is where I used to hide anything I wanted to keep away from prying eyes, namely Harry and Ron. But once again, I couldn't seem to remember what it was I was keeping away from my two best friends.
I sneaked into the back without Madame Pince noticing and found the squeaky board. I knelt down and picked it up, careful not to make much noise. When I opened it, I saw a number of things. There was a stack of letters all addressed to me, and a pensieve. I decided that the most important thing was the pensieve and everything else I could look at later. I picked up the pensieve and there was a note on top of it.
Now here's what you've been searching for. Once you watch the pensieve, all the memories will be restored. Then, read the letters. They are very important.
Hermione used the key to unlock the pensieve and then, watched as it spilled a number of events that Hermione wished she still couldn't remember.
-Flashback-
I was walking through the school, performing my usual Head Girl duties. It was late and I was extremely tired so I decided to head back to my dorm room. When I approached the portrait hole I quickly said the password. I didn't want to get sucked into another long, dull conversation with the Two Lovers. They always began interrogating me and I wasn't up to all of their questions.
When I entered the Head Common Room, I was quickly caught off guard by an arm around my waist. I squealed out of fear and turned around to see who it was.
"DRACO! DON'T DO THAT!" I exclaimed.
"Sorry love, it's just, well I couldn't resist. You were out late tonight. Were you patrolling the halls?" He asked while planting kisses all over my face.
"Yes. I found two Ravenclaw fourth years snogging each other senseless in the twelfth corridor."
"Maybe we should follow their lead." He said suggestively raising his eyebrows in a seductive fashion.
"Maybe tomorrow, Draco. I'm so tired. Can we just, go to sleep? Would you mind?"
"As long as I get to sleep in your bed."
"Of course, sweetheart. I wouldn't have it any other way."
I ran up to my room and got in my pajamas and he did the same. Soon I heard a knock on my door. "Hermione, are you decent?"
"Yes, Draco. Come on in." He opened the door and came in.
"Ready to sleep?" He got on the bed and laid down, motioning for me to join him. I walked over to him and rested my head on his strong, muscular chest. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I felt comforted.
"Hermione?"
"Mmm... yes Draco?"
"I wanted to tell you something. I've been thinking about it for a while now and I figured it out."
"What is it Draco?"
"Well, I-I think- No I know- I love you, Hermione Granger. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He place a ring on my finger and I felt like I was going to faint.
"Dr-Draco are- are you asking me to-to marry you?"
He laughed. "For the top student of our year, you sure don't catch on quick. Of course I'm asking you to marry me. I love you. Be my wife."
"I-I-I... I don't know what to say. I love you too, Draco. I love you so much. Yes, yes I'll marry you." I said with glee. I lifted my head off of his chest and placed a kiss on his lips. We laid there all night, neither one really asleep but neither of us were really awake either.
-End Flashback-
A tear formed in my eyes. I remembered now. I could remember everything. He was what I had lost, the baby was what I had lost. I lost my love and my family in the war.
-Flashback-
"Draco, we have to tell people. They're going to notice. I'm starting to show. I'm already four months pregnant."
"'Minnie, I told you. Whenever you're ready to tell people, I am. But remember, we graduate tomorrow. They don't even have to see you."
"I know Draco, but I'm hoping that if we tell them now, by the time we have the wedding in August, they'll already have forgiven me. And then maybe Ron or Harry will be the baby's godfather. I don't know. You and the baby are the only things in my life right now that aren't confusing."
"I know what you mean, Minnie. I do, really. But I'm ready to tell people. Hell, I'm ready to shout if off of rooftops. I love you Hermione Granger soon to be Malfoy. There's nothing anyone could ever do to make me change my mind about that."
"What will your father say? What will he do?"
"Well, he won't like it. But he's learned that I'm stronger than him. Last time he tried to use an unforgivable on me in order to 'discipline' me, I turned it around on him. He'll never try that again."
"Oh." He kissed my forehead and then took my hand in his as a sign of comfort.
"Let's go down to the Great Hall and talk to your friends."
"Can you hold my hand all the way there?" I asked. I knew that people would see but that was the point, right?
"Of course. I'll do anything for you. I love you. You're my fiancé and there's nothing in this world I want more than to take care of your every need, want, and desire."
"Thank you Draco. Let's go." We walked down bravely to the Great Hall where Harry and Ron were playing wizard chess. Draco led the way and I was so nervous. "Harry, Ron, we need to talk." I said when we approached them.
"'MI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THIS GIT? TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER, MALFOY!" Harry yelled.
"Now, now, Scarhead. Let's not go getting all overprotective of Hermione. She's a big girl. She can make her own decisions. Besides, I believe she said she had something to tell you, so why don't you just shut your hole and pay attention?"
I sighed with relief. He really was going to be at my side through the entire thing. I loved him so much. "Listen, guys. Since the Christmas Holiday, Draco and I we've been, well, seeing each other romantically."
"WHAT?!?" Ron and Harry shouted simultaneously.
"There's a lot more so don't interrupt. It started out as just a little fun. A snog here and there but neither one of us expected to fall in love. But we did. We fell madly, and deeply in love with each other. About two months ago, Draco proposed and I said yes."
"WHAT?!?" They roared once more.
"There's one more thing. I- I- Well... I'm kind of - pregnant!" I let out. "It's not why we're getting married but it is why we're rushing the wedding. The baby is due in November and the wedding is in August. You have until August to accept what Draco and I share together. If you cannot accept it by then, then do not expect to be part of our lives." I put my hand on my stomach and they followed my hand with their eyes.
"'Mi, it's just - NO! THIS IS WRONG! HE'S MALFOY! HE'S PROBABLY JUST USING YOU! HE'S TORTURED US FOR SEVEN YEARS AND NOW YOU'RE WILLING TO JUST FORGIVE HIM?!?" Harry roared.
"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS, HERMIONE! IT'S LIKE YOU'RE BETRAYING US! HE'S OUR WORST ENEMY!" Ron screamed with anger.
"Listen, Scarhead. You too Weasel. I love Hermione more than life itself. I would never hurt her. I would die for her!"
"Oh yeah?" Harry raged. "You know, Malfoy... there's a war coming. Voldemort's come out of hiding. Which side will you be on. Care to show us your dark mark?"
"I'm not a death eater, Potter. I'm just as much a servant of the dark Lord as you are."
I decided now was the time to break in. "Harry, Draco's changed. He's not the evil jerk you once knew. Can't you just trust me to know what I'm doing?"
"I'm sorry, 'Mi, but I can't. I can't accept this. You're baby is the spawn of Satan, an abomination, and I won't stick around to see it come to life!"
He and Ron ran off extremely upset. I can't say I didn't expect it from them.
-End Flashback-
So that was what our fight was about. I went up to the Gryffindor Common room with the pensieve and the letters in my hand. It was eleven o'clock and I had hoped that they would be asleep but there's no such luck. They were sitting on the couch and from what I could tell, they were waiting for me.
"Hey, 'Mi. Come sit down. We'd love to talk to you, like old times." Harry said while patting the seat on the couch next to him.
"But it can never be like old times, Harry. You two made sure of that. It wasn't my choice to end our friendship. You two did it. My baby wasn't an abomination!" I said, getting angrier with each spoken word.
They looked at each other and I knew what they were thinking so I answered their questions. "When my memory was erased, I left myself something... this pensieve. I knew you would try to erase my memory, make me forget Draco, my love for him, even my child. So I put my memories in the pensieve, along with my ring." I took it out and placed it on my finger. "I cast a spell so that if I was ever to get a hold of the pensieve and open it and watch it, all my memories would be restored to me. I sent myself an owl, to bring me the key at the ten year reunion. I remember everything, guys. Everything."
-Flashback-
The war had begun and Draco and I decided to fight on the side of the light. Well, he had tried to talk me out of it in my condition but I wanted to fight. I knew I would be a great asset to them.
I was separated from Draco and I was roaming the empty Hogwarts corridors, where the battle was waging. I had followed a Death Eater in there. I had my wand handy, in my right hand, prepared for an attack but I never saw it coming. Two attacked from behind and three more in the front. I had no time to even shout a spell. They quickly bound and gagged me and dragged me to the battle waging outside. I was near unconscious after one began to beat me. Another one stopped him and said, "This one is for our Lord. He gets the pleasure of taking this mudbloods life. Whatever you do to Draco's pregnant whore, don't kill her. Our Lord wants her." I willed myself not to shut my eyes. I needed to stay awake for my own life.
They dragged me to the Forbidden Forest and I could see even vampires and other evil creatures backing away in terror. I was thrown onto one mans feet and I just laid there, motionless.
"Draco, this is the price you pay for betraying your father, for lowering yourself. Now your little mudblood bitch will die by my hands." It was Voldemort, no doubt in my mind.
"NO! I'll do whatever you ask of me, just please don't hurt her. Or the child." He pleaded.
"Can you swear on your life, on the child's, that you will stay away from them for as long as you live, that you will never go near them, and that you will join me, and become my most loyal servant."
"You can't ask that of me! They're my family. I love them both too much to ever live without them."
"Wrong answer, young Malfoy." Voldemort hissed. Before I really knew what was happening, I heard him scream, "CRUCIO!" and extreme pain filled my body. "Join me, you fool."
"LET HER GO!" Draco screamed back.
The cruel man snickered. "No. CRUCIO!" More pain surged through me and I doubled over while clutching my stomach.
"The baby," I cried in a whisper. "You're killing my baby! Please stop!" I begged.
"That's enough of you, mudblood. I've heard enough out of your filthy mouth. It's time to see you die... Avada Kedavra!" I waited for my life to end, for the spell to hit me but it never came. I opened my eyes and saw Draco lying on the ground. I knew that since the spell wasn't meant for him, he wasn't dead. But I also knew that he was in serious pain. I called out to him but he didn't answer. I was hurt too much to move, and then I realized
THE BABY HAD STOPPED KICKING! IT WAS - DEAD!
-End Flashback-
"St. Mungo's? He survived? Well then, you two... I need to get some sleep. I have a long day tomorrow. If either of you try to stop me from leaving I swear on your lives, I will not hesitate to risk getting thrown into Azkaban for murder. Understood? I will not have my memory tampered with ever again. In case you didn't know, I have been told that I was the best witch ever to come to this school. That would mean that I could kick both your behinds at once in a wizard duel. Don't tempt me."
I headed up to my room for some sleep, but none came. I took out the notes and began to read. They were love notes from Draco. He used to write me cute little notes while he was in class. I reprimanded him of course. He should have been paying attention to the lesson but I was okay with his short attention span. I liked his notes. They always made me smile.
Still unable to find sleep, I mounted my broom, something I had only done once in my entire life, and that was with Draco right behind me. I flew all night until I reached the hospital. I flung the doors open, running with all of my might. It felt like I was running 100 miles per hour and it was the fastest I had ran in my entire life.
I stopped at the front desk, out of breath and cheeks red from windburn. "Excuse me, miss. But do you happen to know where I could find Draco Malfoy? He's a patient here at St. Mungo's and I desperately need to talk to him." I said to the clerk.
"Yes, ma'am. Go right down that corridor right here," she said while pointing. "Go up the stairs at the end. When you reach the top of the staircase, make a left. He's the fifth door down." I thanked her and turned to leave but she stopped me. "You know, he hasn't had a single visitor and it's almost ten years he's been here. If you don't mind me asking, how do you know him?"
I looked at her with pain in my eyes. How could no one come to visit him? He must have been so lonely. "I'm his fiance." I ran down the hall and up the stairs, to the left and down five doors. I knocked but got no response, so I tried again. Nothing. I twisted the doorknob and the door creaked open.
"Hello?" I asked while moving into the room. I noticed a figure in the bed. He had the room all to himself. That's the only way a Malfoy would live. He would never accept a room partner, unless of course it was me. We shared a room the whole time we were together at Hogwarts. "Draco? Are you there?"
A nurse came in and looked at me with curiosity. "Who are you?" She asked almost offensively.
"I'm here to speak with Draco. May I? I mean, can he... can he even speak? Why is he here exactly. I know he took one of the unforgivable curses but people have recovered from them. What's wrong with him?" There was concern in my voice and the lady looked at me with pity.
"He drove himself crazy, that's what's wrong with him. He babbles in his nightmares about this girl and his dead child. He cries himself to sleep every night and when he wakes up, says nothing. He just stares out the window. He doesn't acknowledge anyone who comes in here. He just sits and stares. He's become mute."
I let a tear fall down my face and a sob escape from my lips. I placed my hand on his shoulder and he shuddered at my touch. "Is he asleep?" I asked. She nodded. "Do you mind if I just sit here, and watch him sleep until he wakes?"
"We're not really supposed to let you, but beings how he's never had a single visitor I suppose he'll like seeing you here. Go ahead and take a seat. Just don't wake him up. It's hard enough just getting him asleep."
"All right." I pulled a chair over to his bed and sat down. My hand reached out and took his in it. It was a simple gesture that I had done every night at Hogwarts when I found him asleep so I knew it wouldn't wake him. I sat there for only god knows how long, just staring at him with wide eyes. He still looked the same, beautiful and perfect. I could tell that he still worked out in his spare time. I loved that body. Oh gods, I shouldn't have been thinking that when he was in a hospital bed.
I saw him moving and I could tell he was waking up, but I kept his hand in mine. I wanted him to know I was there from the moment he woke up. His eyes fluttered open and he looked at me as if I was a dream. A good dream, but a dream none the less. He moved over in his bed and made room for me, as he had done so many times before. I got in and cradled him in my arms. I sang to him a song that I was sure he would remember.
spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here
(a/n Sarah MacLachlan's "Angel")
He lifted his head off of my chest and looked me in the eyes. I knew he was still wondering if I was a dream and I had no way to answer that, so I ran my fingers through his hair and said the words I longed to tell him. "I don't blame you. I never did. It wasn't your fault, Draco." Tears welled up in his eyes as he began to cry.
"Minnie, if I had just said what he wanted. If I had just agreed to his demands then, then -" Minnie was his nickname for me, a loving name that made me feel cute and sweet.
"Then I would have lived a life of never seeing you again and the baby would never know its father. I couldn't have lived knowing that you were out there, killing people all for me. I couldn't have. Draco, sweetheart. Stop blaming yourself. This is not your fault." I kissed his forehead with love. "They say you stopped talking. Is that true?"
"I suppose. I haven't spoken since I told Voldemort I could never leave you." He snuggled into my chest once again and we just laid there for as long as we could without being disturbed.
"Draco?"
"Mmm...?"
"Are you ready to go home?" I wanted to take him out of St. Mungo's. Bring him to the home I had bought ten years ago when I thought we were going to marry. I bought it to be our family's home. It was in the wizarding world, where we both wanted to live.
"Yes," came his reply.
"Draco, why did you stay here all of these years? I know you were depressed but..." he put a finger to my lips. He always loved to shush me in mid sentence.
"I was waiting for you."
A/N... This is a one shot fic although I know I could have expanded it a lot more. If you liked this, be sure to check out my other fics - paralyzed, the sequel called Love Will Conquer All, Carpe Dium, and Time Passes Slowly. Thanks all. Review please.