The Buffy Crossover Bible

By: Polgara ([email protected])

Rating: G

Disclaimer: I don't own BtVS or the Techie Bible.

Spoilers: None

Summary: This is a humorous look at the creation of the Buffy Crossover World... At least, I hope it is.

Note: Many of my normal readers know that I work in the theatre. But what they may not know is the fact that I'm a techie, a completely different breed from the actor. Most of us techies are very familiar with something called The Techie Bible. You can go here to read a sample of it: . Now, the Techie Bible exists in many different forms so there are many ways I can do this, but I'm only going to write three books... At least at the moment.

Note2: I'm sorry if I offend anyone with this. It really wasn't my intention, it's just a little fun.

Note3: The next book will be the Book of Exodus, followed by the Book of Proverbs. I don't need any help with the Book of Exodus, but I would appreciate help with Proverbs. If you can think of anything like: Thou shalt not speak in fanfiction terms to the uninitiated for they will not perceive thy meaning. I would love it if you would send it to my email: [email protected] Thanks!

The Book of Genesis

In the beginning there was the TV and the TV was without vampires, demons, a female hero, and there was sadness in the hearts of the viewers. And then Joss Whedon (hereinafter referred to as God) said, "Let there be a female hero!" And he worked feverishly into the night constructing a girl who was not only beautiful, but also strong and full of witty quips. She was not the brightest, but was full of passion. When he was finished he called her Buffy, and it was good. And the evening and the morning were the First Day.

And then God looked upon Buffy and realized that although she was heroic, she had no evil to vanquish, and he was moved to pity. He said, "Let there be enemies!" And through the night he created vampires, demons, hellgods, and even a geek trio - each more vile and sinister than the - wait, scratch that - each with their own twisted sense of self-worth. He stepped back and saw that they were good. And the evening and the morning were the Second Day.

And God saw that his heroine Buffy had enemies to vanquish, but had no one to stand beside her, or to guide her and he knew that that wouldn't do. And God said, "Let there be friends and family!" And with much gusto he created a mother, two best friends, a possible sister, and a watcher to guide her. He invented others to share in her life and her burden. Then God looked upon the support system and saw that they were good. And the evening and the morning were the Third Day.

And God looked upon Buffy and saw that she had no love in her life and in his heart he was moved to pity. And God said, "Let there be a boyfriend!" And from his imagination he devised a man that could equal her in strength and passion - a souled vampire. But knowing that love would never last forever on his show he devised others - some a waste of space, others with the personality of a limp noodle, and yet another vampire. And God examined his work and decided it would do. And the evening and the morning were the Fourth Day.

And lo, all of these wonders were done and the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer was born.

And TV viewers watched the show and rejoiced in the humor and action. They fell in love with the characters and shared in their joys and tears. But some viewers began to wonder - What if? And they wrote out their what ifs, creating new plots and posted them on the web - creating Buffy fanfiction. And the writers looked upon their creations and saw that they were good. And the evening and the morning were the Fifth Day.

And the writers of Buffy fanfiction were introduced to other types of fanfiction. And again the question of What if? entered their creative minds. And they began taking characters from other shows and books and placed them into the Buffy universe and vice versa. The number of crossed fics grew and the writers read them and saw that they were good. And the evening and the morning were the Sixth Day.

And lo, the Buffy Crossover fanfiction was born, bringing laughter and tears to readers everywhere.