Chapter 10: Hard Choices
The Ebon Hawk: Now
Carth and Min sat in strained silence, staring out at the black void of hyperspace. Finally, Carth swiveled his bucket seat towards her, so that he could look at her face. It was uncharacteristically blank, and it startled him, since whatever she was thinking or feeling usually played across her face for everyone to see. He was afraid of what this meant.
He didn't know what to say or where to start, and he cursed the fact that when he seemed to need them the most, words often failed him. But he knew he needed to do something, because he could see that Jolee was right; she was drowning, and if he didn't do something now, he could lose her to madness or despair or the dark side.
So he turned her chair around to face his, their knees almost touching in the cramped space, and met her dark eyes. Carth found the words that he hadn't been able to find before.
"I love you, Min."
She flinched as if he'd slapped her, and tears began to spill down her cheeks.
Coruscant: Eight Years Ago
Malak stood at the door to Revan's living quarters in the Jedi Temple, rubbing his hands together nervously as he waited for her to answer. It was late, and the corridor that connected the Jedi Knights' apartments was deserted.
Nervous, he smoothed out his long Jedi robes and ran a hand through his sandy blonde hair.
At length, the door opened, revealing an astonished-looking Revan, shrugging a silk ivory robe over a long matching nightgown. Even to Malak's untrained eye, he could tell that the silk was of the finest quality, with delicate floral patterns embroidered into it. It was not modest, and it clung to her long, athletic body in all the right places. Her ebony hair, usually bound back in thick, intricate braids, spilled over her shoulders in dark waves.
They had argued over the length of it for years. While beautiful, her hair was completely impractical in hand-to-hand combat, and Malak worried that one day her stubbornness and vanity was going to get her killed. But tonight he bit back the rebuke and just appreciated her beauty.
She looked exactly like what she was: a woman waiting for her lover. Unfortunately, it wasn't him. That he had no one to blame but himself for that fact was not a comfort.
He tried to suppress his raging jealousy by reciting the Jedi Code in his mind. It didn't really work, but at least he managed to keep his outward appearance calm.
"Am I interrupting something?" he asked, even though he already knew the answer.
"No. I was just waiting for Nico, but his transport has been delayed." Revan stepped aside so he could enter. "Come on in."
Jedi Knight Nico Kor-vas was Revan's latest lover, despite the strong and very vocal disapproval of the Jedi Council. He and a contingent of Jedi Knights were in transit to the Jedi Temple. The Jedi Council had called a conclave of its Knights to debate the Republic's petition for assistance in the continuing Mandalorian war. The debate was mostly academic, and meant to placate the disgruntled rumblings of many of the Jedi Knights who were in favor of joining the Republic's cause. Rumor was that the Council had already decided to deny their petition. The next day was going to be very interesting indeed.
He walked past her, into the interior of the spacious apartment, a place that was as familiar as his own. The furniture was expensive, classic and understated, and Malak knew that the sale of just one of the pieces could feed an entire village for a month on his homeworld of Deralia.
He settled into a chair made of beautifully polished pleakwood that overlooked the spectacular Coruscant skyline and the Jedi Temple below. Revan had bought the chair especially for him, when he'd complained that the other furniture was too fragile and far too expensive to sit on. It pleased him that she'd buy a chair just so he'd feel comfortable in her rooms, although he still felt guilty because, knowing Revan, she'd probably spent a small fortune on it. However, it fit his large frame perfectly, so he tried not to think about it too much and enjoyed the gesture.
She disappeared into the small kitchen area and said, "Do you want something to drink? Wine, caf, tea?"
"Tea? Since when did you start drinking tea?" he asked, frowning. Both he and Revan hated tea, and she had once declared that tea was a wimpy version of caf, which was why most of the members of the Jedi Council seemed to prefer it.
"I haven't, but Nico likes it, so I keep some for him."
Anger and jealousy reared their ugly heads again; Malak struggled to control his emotions, trying not to let this invasion of another man get to him, but it was difficult. The knowledge that she'd done something special just for Nico bothered him, just as much as the fact that she and the older Jedi Knight were sleeping together. If she took extra time to do something like this for Nico, that meant she was much more serious about her lover than he'd thought. It was then that Malak started to notice small, subtle changes in her apartment. His stomach churned as he realized that many of the belongings scattered throughout the apartment were Nico's.
The only outward display of his inner turmoil was his fingers gripping the chair arm. His knuckles turned white as he calmly answered, "Wine."
Malak was grateful that the Jedi stoicism was something that he'd mastered, at least outwardly, unlike Revan, who seemed to be genuinely incapable of hiding her emotions. Usually, what she was thinking played across her face for everyone to see. It was one of the things he loved most about her.
She appeared with two glasses and a bottle of fine Tallian wine. Revan poured him a glass and took a seat in the matching chair opposite him, setting the bottle next to the flower arrangement of crimson starblooms on the low end table between them.
They sat in companionable comfort for a while, drinking their wine, enjoying each other's company, trading temple gossip and taking in the view.
At length, the conversation turned to the next day's events. Malak poured himself another drink, the bottle clinking against the fragile glass as he spoke. "I can't believe that the Council is going to turn down the Republic's petition."
"I know." She shook her head in disgust. Revan and Malak, as well as their former Master, Vrook, had been sent as part of an investigation team to observe and assess the Mandalorian situation, and report their findings back to the Council. The team had just returned from Moft, a planet on the edge of the Outer Rim, where they'd been touring a large munitions plant. They'd had to intervene when the garrison responsible for protecting the plant was attacked by a contingent of Mandalorian war basilisks. Only the presence of Revan and Malak had stopped the fortification from being completely overrun. Because of Revan's quick thinking and their combined fighting skills, they had been able to beat the Mandalorians back, making it one of the few victories in the Republic's favor. The Republic brass had been impressed, asking the two of them to stay and help them fight, but Vrook had been insistent that they return to the Council and await their decision. Revan and Vrook had argued bitterly, but eventually she had complied, if only because she wanted the chance to persuade the Council to intervene.
They had already presented their report to a very lukewarm Council. Malak couldn't understand how the Council could stand by as the Mandalorians pushed the Republic forces further and further back. Especially since, more and more frequently, shock waves could be felt through the Force as the Mandalorians obliterated planet after planet.
"The Council seems to think that, if they hide their heads in the sand long enough, the Mandalorians will just go away. They need our help, Mal. The Republic's in big trouble."
She rose, walked over to her desk, and picked up an official encoded military datapad. "I was going to show you this tomorrow, but since you're here..." She tossed it to Malak, who caught it deftly in his large, callused hands.
He reviewed it for a minute in stunned silence. It was from Admiral Dodonna, whom Revan and Malak had met during their investigation mission. The Mandalorians had successfully blockaded the Corellian trade route, essentially cutting the Republic's forces in half, blocking off their most important supply line, and crippling the Republic forces. The Admiral was asking Revan to try to persuade the Council with this new information, and if she couldn't achieve that, the Admiral appealed to Revan directly, asking for her help anyway.
When he was finished, he looked up at her. She was perched on the arm of her chair, looking out into the night.
"You've already shown this to the Council, haven't you?"
Revan's frustration shone through her voice. "Yeah. They said they'd take it under consideration."
He set the datapad on the end table. "You don't think this will make a difference?"
"No. I don't." She paused, searching his face. "If the Council denies them, I'm going to go anyway."
Malak stared at her. This was huge. Revan had always walked her own path, and her defying the will of the Council was nothing new, but she'd never done it on this scale. It was almost unthinkable, except that here she was, telling him that she was going to do it. He knew how much this cost her; as much as she grumbled about the Jedi Council and occasionally defied the will of the Masters, the Jedi Order was the only home she had, and to her it was her family. He felt the same way himself.
She stood and began pacing, too agitated to remain still, the silk gown swooshing around her legs. "How can the Order stand by and watch this happen when we have the power to stop it? What's the point in having all this power, if we don't use it when it is needed? If we stand by and do nothing, we're just as guilty as the Mandalorians."
Malak rose and took her hand, trying to soothe her obvious upset. "You're right. We can't stand by and watch this happen. If you leave, I'm going with you."
"Are you certain?" She met his eyes, concerned.
He didn't even think twice. Revan was going and that was enough for him. "Yes."
She smiled, her face reflecting her gratitude and relief. "Good. I don't think I could do this without you."
Lost in the depths of eyes so dark that they were almost black, Malak found it difficult to breathe. Malak knew he should let go of her hand, but he was tired of dancing around their unspoken feelings. He decided that it was time to confront them. In a gesture of infinite tenderness, he brought her hand to his mouth and kissed her palm. Then he placed her hand over his heart and covered her fingers with his. Wide-eyed, Revan gasped, but Malak noticed that she didn't pull away. He knew that there was no going back now.
"Revan-"
"Don't." Her voice was thick with emotion. "Don't say something that we'll both regret."
"You have to know how I feel."
"It's too late."
Her words cut him raw, but he wouldn't accept it. "No. I know you love me."
As she pulled her hand from him and backed away, Malak saw the flush under her dark skin. "That was five years ago. I was just a kid."
"So was I." And there hadn't been a day since then that he didn't wish he could take his words back.
Five years ago, Revan, Malak and their Jedi Master, Vrook, had been on the Outer Rim planet, Kashyyyk, because Vrook had discovered that one of his old friends had taken up residence in the Shadowlands. While there, Revan had shocked Malak by fearlessly confessing that she loved him, and with the infinite wisdom of a nineteen-year-old boy, he hadn't handled the situation very well. Turning her away clumsily, he'd almost destroyed their friendship in the process. When they'd returned to Coruscant, she left to study at the University on Alderaan. For three long years.
Gradually, they had resumed their friendship through correspondence, but that hadn't prepared him for the day when she returned to Coruscant. At twenty years of age, she'd walked down the gangplank as a beautiful, attractive and confident woman; she was no longer the skinny, gawky teenager who'd left. From that point on she'd pretty much turned his world upside-down. The kicker was that underneath her newfound beauty, she was still Revan. Malak felt like a bastard when he realized that he was, in fact, in love with his best friend, and he was ashamed that he hadn't realized it before.
Revan, for her part, acted as though that day on Kashyyyk had never happened, resuming her friendship with him, but also taking a string of lovers, much to the dismay of both Malak and the Jedi Council, although for different reasons. Romantic attachments, while not exactly against the rules, were highly frowned upon by the Jedi Council. But there wasn't actually a written rule, and unless there was, Revan generally did as she pleased, treating the Council's warnings as mere suggestions.
Still, Revan had hardly been the first or last Jedi Knight to have a lover, but it was the way she had done it that bothered them. She did it openly, refusing to hide her relationships, believing that the Council was a bunch of hypocrites. Worse, when pushed by the disapproving Council, she was vocal in her criticism, and a lot of the younger Jedi Knights agreed with her.
For the last two years, Malak had kept his mouth shut, afraid of destroying their fragile, renewed friendship and not wanting to defy the Council, but every day it became harder to keep silent, and he just couldn't do it anymore.
Malak spoke, trying to explain the actions of an embarrassed and confused teenager that he no longer was. "I treated you badly, and I'm sorry for that. I wish I hadn't been scared and stupid." Malak knew that it was now or never, so he steeled himself and said, "I love you, Revan."
She flinched as if he'd slapped her, and her eyes shimmered with unshed tears. Her voice trembled as she spoke, "No."
"Yes." He moved towards her as he spoke, trying to convince her of the truth, but she backed away. "I've loved you since we were kids. I just didn't realize it until you came back from the University. I missed you so much-"
Anger flashed in Revan's eyes; she stopped and faced off against him. "You're telling me this now? Now that I'm finally happy with someone else? You've had two years! Do you have any idea what it took to get over you?"
Malak's voice was strong and even. "I was scared. This goes against everything we've been taught. I tried to control my emotions, to not love you, but I can't." He cradled her face in his hands. "We belong to each other. You know we do," he stated with absolute certainty. Then he dropped his mental defenses and showed her how he felt, laying his mind bare before her.
Tears streamed down her cheeks and over his fingers, and Malak could feel her emotions raging around her, but buried underneath all of the anger, confusion and fear, he could feel her love for him.
Malak leaned down and gently kissed the tears off her face, and inevitably they came together, tentatively at first, then with more and more intensity as their minds and bodies touched. Completely overwhelmed by her, he soaked in her presence, breathing in her spicy scent and reveling in the feel of her body. But she abruptly jerked away and slapped him; her hand connected with his jaw, hard.
He rubbed his jaw with his large callused hand, but stood his ground. Remarkably, he felt calmer and more centered than he had in years; the decision to finally take action had seemingly freed him of his inner turmoil. Revan, on the other hand, was spitting mad.
Revan touched her lips with trembling fingers. "You son of a bitch! Get out!"
Malak crossed his arms in front of him and stated simply, "No."
Revan's voice was low and dangerous, her eyes narrowing. "Get out, before I throw you out."
Malak knew she was so angry that she just might try to do it. Realizing he would gain nothing except antagonizing her by pushing her tonight, he turned to leave, but not before meeting her eyes and saying, "You can deny this all you want, but you know it's true. This isn't over."
Although he left her standing by the window glaring daggers at him, his heart was strangely lifted. As the door closed behind him he smiled, because now he knew, with absolute certainty, that it was just a matter of time before she would face the truth and he could take his place by her side.
The Ebon Hawk: Now
Carth watched the tears stream down her face, and it damned near killed him. He was shocked. This was not the reaction he'd been expecting, and it hurt. He wanted to go to her, but he really couldn't in the cramped quarters of the gun turret. Instead, he reached for her hands, but her words stopped him cold.
"Do you know what I did to the last man who said that to me?" Her voice was dead and hoarse, and self-loathing lit her eyes with a feverish glow. Carth shivered; he wasn't sure he wanted to know.
"I crushed his jaw."
Struck dumb, Carth sat back in his chair as Min rose, climbed down the ladder and walked away.
Feeling like he'd just been sucker punched, he sat by himself for a few seconds, completely stunned. The more he thought about it, the less surprised he was, since there had always been rumors in the fleet that Revan and Malak were lovers. At the time, Carth hadn't really paid attention to it. Under Revan and Malak's leadership, they'd been winning, and that was all he'd really cared about.
Carth took a deep breath and made his decision. Min had almost reached the starboard quarters when he caught up with her.
Catching her by the shoulder, he turned her to face him. "I don't care."
Min backed away silently into the room, her eyes haunted. He followed close on her heels, temper rising.
Juhani and Mission looked up from a game of Pazaak at their entrance; he stopped in the doorway. Carth realized that she'd come here deliberately, hoping that faced with an audience he'd leave her alone, but there was no way in hell he was going to back off now.
His voice started to rise as his frustration grew. "Listen to me, woman! It doesn't change anything!"
Min retreated to her bunk, catching herself when her knees buckled, and slumped onto the bed. She brushed away the tears with the back of her hand as her shoulders trembled; Carth could see that she was trying to regain control of herself.
Barely managing to meet his eyes, she begged, "Don't." Min's face twisted as her voice broke in raw pain. "Don't you dare be nice to me, Carth Onasi!"
He tried to make her understand. "It doesn't matter to me. I still love you."
She closed her eyes tightly and choked back a sob. "I can't take your kindness! It hurts too much! Please, just leave me alone."
Carth stood firm, his jaw settling into a hard, determined line. "No. I'm not letting you run away this time."
Concerned and indecisive, Mission and Juhani watched them, and Carth hoped they'd leave so that he could talk to Min alone. But they sat there, transfixed by the scene before them, unsure of what to do.
Determined not to let Min hide behind them, he tried his best to remain civil as he asked, "Would you mind leaving us alone?" When they still hesitated, he added, "Please?"
Juhani finally nodded and headed out the door, pulling a very reluctant-looking Mission behind her.
The door shut behind them, leaving the Jedi and the pilot alone. Carth approached her slowly, as if he were afraid he was going to spook her. "Let me help you."
"Why are you doing this?" she demanded, her voice almost accusing. "Why don't you hate me?"
"I can't hate you, Min."
"If it wasn't for me, you'd be with your wife and son on Telos."
"If it wasn't for you, the Mandalarians might have killed them, killed us all," he said. "You didn't order that attack, Malak did."
She hit him with the brutal truth. "I created the war machine, and I led it against the Republic. If bombing Telos had been a good strategic move, I would have done it without a second thought. Malak was under my command, and I'm responsible because I created him. I might not remember it, but that doesn't make me innocent." Her words cut through him, but it didn't change the way he felt. She looked at him with a pleading look on her face that he didn't understand and said, "I felt them die. All those people on Taris. I did that to people. You have to hate me!"
Carth raked a hand through his hair and tried to explain. "I wanted to hold you responsible for all the things you've done; for Morgana, for Dustil, for Telos, but I can't. I got the revenge I wanted when Saul died, but it hasn't brought me the peace I thought it would. All I can think of now is the promise I made to protect you. You've given me a reason to look past simple revenge." He stepped closer cautiously, desperately wanting to close the distance between them. "Min-"
Her voice cracked as she choked out, "Stop calling me that! That name is a lie!"
"It's not a lie. I know that there is darkness inside of you, Min. I saw Revan, remember? But you have a choice; you don't have to be her. You can be so much more."
She held her hands out as if to ward him off. "No! I'm her, Carth, I'm the same, and I remember pieces..." she trailed off, unable to finish.
"Whatever the Jedi did to you, they've given you a chance to choose your path now. You're a good person, Min, and I want to give you a reason to make the right choice. You gave me a future. I want to give you a future, too...with me." He sat down gently on the bunk next to her and took her trembling hands. "You don't have to do this alone."
"No. I do." She shoved him away so hard that he almost fell off the bunk. "I could hurt you. I almost killed you once. The fact that I love you doesn't change that. I loved him too – and I led him to the dark side. I don't want you hurt protecting me."
But Carth wasn't going to take no for an answer. "I'm not going to stand by while you self-destruct. Let me help you. I'll be hurt far worse if you don't let me try." He took her into his arms and murmured the words into her soft hair. "Please, let me try."
It was too much for her to bear. The word was ripped from her lips, filled with pure anguish, "No!"
She completely fell apart then, and for the second time Carth held her while she wept, her hitching sobs echoing throughout the silent room. Sorrow and grief poured out of her in waves and she went wild, screaming and howling incoherently as she struggled violently against him, but he simply refused to let her go. Finally, she stopped struggling, her sobs becoming whimpers and then silence as she lay in his arms, broken.
Carth stroked her hair and held her, resolving to find a way to put her back together.
Min, Jolee and Carth waited in the cockpit for the Ebon Hawk to drop out of hyperspace. The ninety-four-hour trip to the mysterious Star Forge coordinates was almost over.
Standing behind Carth, who was in the pilot's seat, Min closed her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose. She was exhausted, and most of the reason for that had to do with the man sitting in front of her.
Over the last four days, Min had tried her hardest to push Carth away, knowing that there were so many reasons why they shouldn't be together, but he'd absolutely refused to let her. She'd yelled and screamed for him to leave her alone, and he'd stubbornly refused. When she'd tried to lock him out, he'd gotten T3 to open the door. Worse, it appeared that he'd enlisted almost the entire crew on his campaign, and she'd had no place to take refuge for the entire trip. While she could have used her Force powers to keep him at bay, that was a line she was unwilling to cross.
What he didn't understand was that his love hurt. She didn't know how he could stand to be in the same room with her, when she couldn't even stand herself. Although she loved him fiercely, he was a living, breathing reminder of all the sins she'd committed and the people she'd wronged. It hurt terribly to be near him, and the fact that he still loved her, when she truly didn't deserve it, was unbearably painful. But in the face of his rather amazing stubbornness and tenacity, Min had finally caved. She just didn't have the strength or the will to fight him anymore, and to fight something that--while painful--she so desperately wanted. Min hated herself for being weak, and her complete inability to do the right thing.
The ship decelerated and dropped out of hyperspace, and the three of them were greeted by the awesome sight of what had to be the Star Forge, a large diamond-shaped space station the size of a small moon. Sith destroyers and other ships swarmed around it. It hung over the system's only star, and, unbelievably, they could see a line of yellow energy being sucked from the star into the station.
The three of them were dumbfounded by its sheer magnitude. Carth recovered first, switching on the comm. "Mission, are the sensors getting this?"
Mission's voice was breathless, and Min knew that she must be watching on the screens in the computer bay. "Yeah. T3 says they're working perfectly."
"Do you feel it, Jolee?"
Jolee nodded. Carth asked, "Feel what?
Min shivered. "I can feel the power of the dark side emanating from that space station. It almost feels like... like it's alive."
Carth was careful to keep their small ship on the very edge of sensor range. He was going to have to move them out of range in a minute, or risk being picked up by the Sith fleet. A tense minute passed, and the scan was complete.
Min stared at the Star Forge, and the lone planet that orbited the system's sun that was coming up before them, with a strange sense of déjà vu. Something nagged at the edge of her mind, and she knew it was important, but she just couldn't remember.
Carth began to transmit the data to the Republic fleet. He'd just finished and had moved the ship closer to the small planet when the ship lurched. The Ebon Hawk's instrument panel lit up, lights blinking and flashing as alarms went off.
Min grabbed the back of Carth's chair, to prevent herself falling flat on her face. Carth's hands flew over the instrument panel as a grim, focused and amazingly calm look covered his face. Even with her weak empathic abilities, she could feel the waves of tension coming from him, and Min knew that things were really bad before he even spoke.
He confirmed it. "Disrupter field. Damn! All my instruments are jammed and we've got massive overloads on all systems!" he said as the Ebon Hawk began to vibrate violently, and Min was having a hard time standing. "Our stabilizers are blown. We're going to crash."
"Can we figure out where it's coming from?" Min asked through gritted teeth.
Jolee checked the readout on one of the screens. "T3 has the coordinates."
She looked to Carth. "Can you land there?"
"Yes. But you need to strap in. Hold on - this might be a rough landing."
Min stumbled to the computer bay, holding on to the wall for support. She took a seat next to Mission and strapped herself in. The girl looked scared, but she tried to cover it with false bravado. "What's Carth doing up there? Flying with his eyes shut?"
She tried to flash Mission a reassuring smile and made a weak attempt at humor. "He said he needed the challenge. It was getting too boring flying milk runs."
Mission laughed feebly, but any response was lost as the Ebon Hawk pitched again as the ship entered the atmosphere.
Min stretched her senses, and she could feel the tension coming off of Carth, grim determination combined with a spike of fear. The ship was vibrating so hard that her teeth rattled, and when it pitched and dropped sickeningly, Min fought down her nausea. After a bone-jarring minute where the world turned into one giant, smeared blur, the ship hit the surface, tossing the pair of them like rag dolls in their seats and stealing their breath away. The safety harness burned into Min's skin from the force of the impact, and as the ship made a series of small bounces as it skipped across the surface, finally coming to rest. Min could sense the waves of relief coming from the pilot.
Unbuckling her harness, she set off to find the others and determine the extent of the damage. Even though they had just crashed, she felt a strange sense of relief that, after four hellish days, she finally had something tangible to do.
Sand crunched under Canderous' boots as he followed Revan and the small astromech droid up the steep trail under the hot tropical sun. They stopped at the summit of the hill, taking in the sight of the ancient temple that loomed above them.
T3 beeped and squawked excitedly.
"That's it," she said, translating the droid burble into Mandalorian for him. "That's where the disruptor field is coming from.
The situation was less than ideal. The stabilizers were completely shot, and many of the Ebon Hawk's critical systems had been overloaded, including their communications systems. Even if they could scrounge the parts from the other ships that had crashed because of the disrupter field, they still had to find a way to shut the field down before the unprepared Republic fleet arrived. Otherwise the tropical planet was going to become populated by much more than the hostile, primitive sentients and wild rancors they'd already encountered.
Carth, Mission and Zaalbar were searching the other nearby wrecked ships for potential parts, while Juhani, Jolee, Revan, Canderous and T3 scouted out the island. The overprotective pilot hadn't wanted to let Revan out of his sight, but had relented when she pointed out that, in the interest of time, they didn't really have a choice. Carth really couldn't argue with the fact that it was the most efficient division of labor, but he'd scowled when they'd left.
Shortly thereafter, they had split into pairs, Juhani and Jolee taking the western half of the island, while he and Revan searched the eastern half. Revan had claimed that it would be faster, but Canderous was damned certain that wasn't why she'd suggested it, and he knew that Carth would be livid when he found out. He didn't give a damn. As far as he was concerned, Revan was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Although he couldn't understand why she put up with the pilot, he didn't really care what went on between the two of them, as long as it didn't affect him.
HK was left to guard the ship, a duty that the droid was, at first, petulant about, but after it discovered the frequency of the native meatbag attacks, the droid became mollified.
Canderous surveyed the situation. A pair of wild rancors sunned themselves on the grass, between them and the temple. The rancors weren't as big as some that he'd seen, but they seemed to run in packs of two or three, which made up for their lack of size.
He looked down at her as she studied the ugly, clawed creatures. "Well?"
"We should probably go get the others, come up with a plan or something. It would be safer."
Canderous made a noncommittal grunt, wondering where this was going.
She looked up at him, and the look in her eyes was almost wild. He recognized it; it was the way she had looked on Manaan before she did something reckless. "But I don't feel like being safe today."
Without warning, the leather satchel she carried all of her tools in hit the sand with a small thump. Revan ignited her lightsabers and walked towards the rancors. Canderous cursed under his breath, because he was feeling a rare and completely unwelcome crisis of conscience, wondering whether or not he should stop her.
Highly irritated, he powered up his repeater and followed her, deciding that the former Dark Lord of the Sith was capable of making her own damned decisions. The rancors were stirring now, sensing her approach, and as she raised her lightsabers and charged, Canderous realized that the reason she'd insisted on bringing him, and no one else, was because he was the least likely to object to her actions. He wasn't sure how he felt about that.
Canderous opened fire as she caught the nearest rancor across the nose with one of her golden lightsabers. The creature roared in pain and lashed out with its gigantic spiked claws, barely missing her as she sidestepped. The second rancor came thundering up to her at full speed, sharp teeth and claws flashing. Canderous turned his repeater on it, and while the blaster bolts didn't appear to do much damage to the thick-skinned creature, it did slow it to a stop, preventing Revan from being trampled underneath its bulk.
He dropped the repeater and drew his vibroblades. By the time he reached her, he'd realized that she was holding back and was only using her lightsabers. She was holding both of them off now; Canderous chose the closest one and attacked. The rancor was currently focused on Revan, which left its side open to attack. He jabbed with one vibroblade, and it penetrated the rancor's thick hide. The rancor screeched as it turned its attention and body to Canderous before he could pull the blade out of its thick skin. Canderous backed off as the rancor advanced, swiping madly with its claws. He waited for an opening, trying not to get impaled. Rearing up to its full height, the animal let out an ear-splitting scream. Canderous recovered quickly and swiped across its exposed belly, the sharp blade eviscerating the creature. When the rancor fell forward into a crumpled, screeching ball, Canderous stabbed it through the eye, putting the monster out of its misery.
As he caught his breath, he noticed the smell of burned flesh and saw scorch marks on the animal's back. He looked up to see T3, beeping cockily behind the rancor and realized that the droid must have set the animal on fire. Revan, who had already killed the other rancor, looked at the droid, eyebrows raised. Canderous pulled his other vibroblade out of the smoking creature and wiped the gore off on the grass. By the time he'd finished cleaning his blades and retrieving his repeater, Revan had gathered her satchel up and was heading towards the temple, the droid rolling along confidently at her heels.
He watched her while she pulled her equipment out of the satchel and began working. Hunkering down on the stone walkway, he kept an eye out for more rancors or hostile natives. Canderous settled into a shady spot, fished a cigarra out of his pocket and lit one. Inhaling deeply, he felt the delicious burn go through his lungs, before exhaling through his nose. By the time he lit his third one, the sun was sinking towards the horizon. She stopped working and sat back, studying the door.
As he took another drag, she turned to him and asked, "Can I bum a smoke?"
Frowning, he tossed her the pack and the lighter. "Since when do you smoke?"
"Since now." She pulled a cigarra out of the pack, and looked at it as if she didn't quite know what to do with it. "I figure I've got enough vices as Darth Revan that one more can't hurt."
"Did you smoke before?" He decided to see if she could figure out how to light it herself.
"I highly doubt it."
From the way she was fumbling with the cigarra, he highly doubted it as well. He watched her struggle with it for a while, amused. Eventually, she managed to get it lit. She took a deep drag, which resulted in a coughing fit as her eyes watered.
Laughter thundered out of him. Watching the former Dark Lord of the Sith try to smoke a cigarra was the funniest thing he'd seen in a long damned time.
Grimacing, she blinked back the tears watering her eyes, and choked out, "This is vile."
He shook his head, still laughing at her. "Don't inhale yet. Just puff on it for a while. Work up to inhaling."
She puffed on it as she studied the door to the temple, and he asked the question that had been bugging him for a long time now. "I know what you think of me. Why do you let me stay?"
He'd told her stories about his days as an enforcer for Davik, a time he was not proud of, and his years spent as a Mandalorian warrior, a time he was proud of. Although sometimes she found his stories amusing and always interesting, he wasn't a fool. From many of the barbed remarks that she'd made, he knew that she'd disapproved and was sometimes horrified by what he told her. Combined with the way her lover felt about him, he wasn't sure why she kept him around.
"In the beginning, because you were useful." After a short pause, she added as an afterthought, "And entertaining. Being entertaining helps a lot." She flicked the ash from her cigarra and continued as she looked him in the eye. "After a while, I guess I just got used to you. I like you. I shouldn't, but I do. You're a bastard, Canderous, but so am I. And we bastards have to stick together. It would be pretty hypocritical of me to kick you out, considering what I am." She paused, taking a much smaller drag from her cigarra, this time managing not to choke. "What are you going to do after this is over?"
"I don't know. I haven't thought about it. Why?"
She shrugged. "I was just wondering."
"Once my time with you is done, once you have moved on to greater things, I'll find my own way once again. I remember a time when I could do anything I wanted. Kill, maim, murder--it was all the same to me. But now that I'm older, I can look back and regret." Canderous drew one of his vibroblades from its sheath on his back and studied it intensely. "This thing with Jagi... I don't know."
It had shaken him up more than he'd wanted to admit to anyone. "Give me some time and I'll be able to sort this out on my own. I'm not happy with the way my life has turned out. I'm not the Mandalore I once was. I don't even think I'm the merc I was when I joined you. I think I need something more than killing and fighting in my life. I need a purpose or something like that."
Revan raised her eyebrows, and he saw something in her eyes that he'd never seen when she'd looked at him before. Approval.
Pinning him with her intense gaze, she asked, "What about the Code of the Mandalore? Honor in battle. Cheating death. Comrades-in-arms."
"The way the Mandalorians - we - fought holds no appeal for me. To rape and ravage worlds for the thrill of battle gets old. Very old. I think I'm something different now. Maybe more, maybe less. I don't think there is really any place left in the galaxy for the Mandalorian clans like they were. I don't know if I can go on forever fighting as I have. Even warriors get insightful in their old age. I look back and regret all the chances I had as a warrior, and then all the chances I've had since then." Frowning, he sheathed his blade; the blade slid home with a soft, deadly hiss. "I shouldn't be getting like this, not when so many other things are happening, but it feels like something has changed inside and I don't know what it is." He dismissed his words with a wave of his hand, hating the unwelcome introspection taking place.
"Growing a conscience, Canderous?"
He crushed the butt of the cigarra into the temple steps, extinguishing it. "Bah! Hardly! This is unbecoming of a warrior! Let's get on with everything before I start getting sentimental or something."
She gave him one last intense look, then changed the subject. "We're stuck." In explanation, she nodded toward the temple. "This temple combines the Force with technology. There's a Force barrier on this door that I can't get around. We're going to have to find another way in."
"Got something in mind?"
"No. But I found a way around this barrier before. The answer has to be on this island somewhere; we just have to find it."
A day later, she found her answer, and it came in the form of an entire race she'd screwed over.
The nameless planet they had crashed on was the home of the race of sentients who had built the Star Maps and the Star Forge. The Rakata had once ruled over the galaxy with their Force-wielding technology, but now were reduced to warring tribes and doomed to Force blindness, unable to control the technology they had created.
They found an enclave of Rakata priests, a grey, bipedal, high-domed race who, unlike their primitive brethren who attacked on sight, actually seemed to be mostly peaceful and far more advanced. They allowed the Jedi into their temple, where they informed Min, who could understand the warbling language, that they had met her before. The last time she'd been on the planet, she'd tricked them into allowing her into the temple, by promising that she would help destroy the terrible Star Forge technology. Instead, she'd betrayed them, and the rest was, well, history.
The Rakata weren't so welcoming this time around. They, quite understandably, didn't believe her, and Min was at a loss as to how to convince them that this time she was sincere. It was Jolee who came up with a solution; after a series of probing questions, translated through Min, they discovered that a high-ranking Rakata elder was being held by one of the neighboring, warlike tribes. An agreement was struck. If the Jedi rescued their companion as proof of her good intentions, then the Rakata would allow her access to the temple. It helped greatly that the Rakata had nothing to lose by allowing her access, since the temple was now firmly under Sith control.
So the Jedi had done as the Rakata had asked. They tried to negotiate the release of the Rakata priest with the rival tribe, but their primitive, warlike thinking wouldn't allow it. In the end, after a horrible bloodbath, they were able to save the Rakata priest, and the elders agreed to allow her access to the temple.
At sunrise the next day, the Rakata started the long, laborious ritual which would drop the Force barrier and open the temple. The Rakata priests chanted in their strange, deep monotone as the sun burned across the sky. Jolee sat in the shade, leaning against the trunk of a massive palm tree, and watched the priests as they worked. Juhani sat next to him cross-legged, in deep meditation, while Min, unable to contain her nervous energy, paced in front of him.
Originally, the plan had been for Min to enter the temple alone, since despite saving their companion, the Rakata were still wary of her motives, and would not allow the others to join her. But both Juhani and Jolee had received a powerfully vivid, albeit brief, vision of the dangers that waited inside the ancient temple, and had raced to the summit, insisting that Min needed to convince the Rakata to allow them to join her. Min had refused, but after a short argument between the three of them, Juhani and Jolee prevailed when they pointed out that they were going to accompany her whether or not she wanted them to. After another argument, this time with the Rakata chieftain, they'd convinced the Rakata of the wisdom of allowing the three of them in, since the odds of success were greater that way.
Knowing that it was going to be a while, Jolee settled in and tried to get some rest. It was difficult. Nervous tension was high because they had less than one day left before the Republic fleet was due to attack the Star Forge. Using the techniques that he'd honed over his lifetime, Jolee relaxed his body and calmed his mind, drifting into sleep.
After forty years, the memory still haunted his dreams.
It was the eerie silence smothering his house that told Jolee something was wrong. Putting aside the gardening tools and brushing the dirt from his hands, Jolee rose and followed the rock trail through his beloved garden and into his house.
He found her in their bedroom. Nayama was shoving clothing into a traveling bag, and Jolee's chest tightened as he realized she was going to leave him again. The thought was unbearable.
He stood in the doorway, frozen. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he said, "Don't do this."
Nayama paused and looked up at him, her handsome face drawn and tense. "Come with me."
"You know I can't do that," he said softly.
"You mean you won't do it. Not even for me." Bitterness echoed through her voice. Months earlier, she had left Ossus with a group of young Jedi to follow Exar Kun, despite Jolee's pleading and protests. A few days ago she had returned, and Jolee had been relieved and overjoyed that she'd come back to him, until he realized that she'd returned to try to convince him to join Exar Kun in his quest for power. Nayama had come back changed, cold and distant, and several bitter arguments had followed, none of which resolved the issue.
She threw her bag over her shoulder and hooked her lightsaber to her belt. "Get out of my way."
Heart breaking, he let her pass. He followed her through the house, her brisk pace eating up the distance quickly. When she reached the front door, Jolee tried one last time.
"I love you, Nayama. Please stay."
She stopped and turned to face him, and for one brief second, hope shot through him. But then he saw her face. Nayama's green eyes burned with a cold, angry fire.
She spat her words at him as her hands clenched into fists. "You love me? Please. You don't love me. If you did, you wouldn't try to hold me back. If you did, you'd come with me."
"Following Exar Kun will only lead to death and sorrow. This is madness."
"What do you know about it? You're a coward, Jolee. You hide behind the Jedi Council's old and tired platitudes, afraid to reach your potential and take the power they deny you." He felt the pain flowing from her, underlying all of her hateful words. "You don't even believe half of what they say, and yet you choose them over me."
"That's not true. I am choosing you." He grabbed her shoulders roughly, as if by touching her he could get her to face the truth. "Look at yourself! Can't you see what's happening to you? You're being twisted by hate and anger, and it's leading you to the dark side."
"No. It's not. It's setting me free." Nayama's expression softened and she touched his cheek. His heart ached, because at that moment, she looked like the wife he remembered. "Come with me, Jolee. Think of all the things we can use this power for. We could do anything, be anything. Think of all the people we could help. It would be wonderful. Both of us together, the way we were meant to be."
Torn between love and truth, Jolee hesitated for several long, tense seconds. He'd always known that one day he'd be tempted to follow the dark path, but he never thought it would come in this form. He cursed himself for teaching her to wield the Force. If he hadn't, she wouldn't be doing this right now.
Going against everything he wanted, he closed his eyes and dropped his hands. "No."
A primal, angry scream erupted from her lips. Catching him by surprise, she hit him with a Force wave that sent him flying down the hallway, knocking him flat on his back and making him slide headfirst into the far wall.
The snap-hiss of her double-bladed lightsaber igniting cut through his painful haze and made him scramble to his feet. Frozen, he watched her charge; his mind tried to process the fact that Nayama was actually trying to kill him. Even with all of the arguments and fights that they'd had, he'd never thought it would come to this. Pure survival instinct kicked in as he ignited his own lightsaber and blocked her attack. Sparks flew and green met red. Somewhere in back of his mind, it registered that she'd already changed her lightsaber color.
He pushed her backwards, and she fell back a few steps, allowing him to retreat from the hallway into the dining area, giving him room to maneuver and time to think.
Holding out an outstretched hand, Nayama lifted the heavy wooden dining table with her mind and hurled it at Jolee. He stopped it from colliding with him by redirecting the table's direction, and it crashed into the far wall, shattering the glass decorations that she'd given him on their last anniversary.
"Nayama! Stop this!"
But she was beyond reason, and she attacked with full force. Their lightsabers clashed and hummed as they fought. She attacked while Jolee defended; he was unable to bring himself to hurt her. She drove him back to the kitchen and lightning cascaded from her hand. Jolee dodged the bolt, barely, and it zipped past his head, making black scorch marks on the wall.
He tried throwing a stasis field around her, but she shrugged it off. That was when Jolee knew that he was in serious trouble. While they were equals with lightsabers, he had always been stronger than she was when he used the Force. Between his extra strength and years of training, she would have never been able to resist an attack like that before. It had to be because of the boost the dark side power was giving her. Fear trickled through him as Jolee realized that she might actually be able to kill him.
He tried another tactic, the same one she had. He reached out with his mind and hurled the dishes sitting on the counter at her. Red dual blades spinning, she blocked them all with her lightsaber, cutting through them effortlessly. Porcelain shards clattered to the floor.
They stared at each other across the kitchen, panting.
Jolee frantically tried to think of something to say, something that would get her to stop, but words seemed inadequate in the face of her mindless anger.
"What's the matter, Jolee?" she taunted, her lips curled in a vicious sneer. "You didn't think I had it in me, did you? You thought I was weak, like you."
"No. I never thought you were weak, Nayama."
"I was weak. My love for you held me back, but not anymore."
Nayama sprang at him and lightsabers met again. She forced him back through the kitchen and the common area, and finally out into the garden, laying waste to their home as they went. By the time they were out in the garden, Jolee was covered in sweat and beginning to tire. He was going to have to make a decision to end it, or die.
Jolee stopped holding back and hit her with a chain of Force lightning that she couldn't block. Nayama arched backwards, screaming. She dropped her lightsaber, which fell to the ground and extinguished. He felt the invisible fingers tighten around his throat, and for a minute their wills clashed as he struggled to stay conscious. Jolee focused and brushed her attack aside, hitting her with a Force wave that pitched her backwards into the side of the house. Her shoulder connected with the wall and he heard bones snap before she slid to the ground. She tried to call her lightsaber to her, but he got it first; it flew to his outstretched hand. He towered over her, holding his own lightsaber to her throat. The pale skin of her neck was bathed in the green glow of his weapon as he struggled with what to do.
Nayama cradled her arm and looked up at him. "Are you going to kill me, Jolee?" she asked, in a remarkably calm voice.
Jolee looked down at the face of the woman he loved more than anything, and saw a stranger. Hatred and corruption flowed through her like a horrible cancerous growth. She had completely succumbed to the dark side, and he knew that he should end it now. If he let her go, there was no telling what she would do.
"Do it, Jolee. Kill me. Prove that you're not weak."
He snapped his lightsaber off. Nayama threw her head back, laughing. It was a terrible sound that crawled along his skin, making him shiver.
She stood and shook her head. "I knew you wouldn't be able to do it. You really are pathetic."
Without another word, she turned her back on him and walked out of his life, leaving him shattered.
"Jolee, wake up." Jolee woke with a start to see Min kneeling before him, looking concerned. "Are you alright?"
Shaking, he rubbed his eyes with his hands. His face was covered with a film of cold sweat. "Yes," he said hoarsely.
He was surprised that he'd had that dream. It had been years since he'd had it, especially since he'd learned mind-focusing techniques that helped curb the nightmares. It was a technique he'd offered to teach to Min, but she'd tersely refused, stating that she didn't want his help. Jolee wondered why now, of all times, it had returned.
Still shaken, he snapped at her, "Stop hovering over me like some kind of nattering nursemaid."
Min blinked and sat back on her haunches. "Whatever, old man."
Jolee instantly regretted his cranky words, but she walked away before he could take them back. Since their 'talk' on Manaan, she'd spoken to him only when absolutely necessary.
He stood and stretched his stiff muscles. Looking around, he saw that the sky had darkened into twilight, and that soon it would be full dark. Juhani was still sitting cross-legged next to him in meditation. Min sat on a small boulder and watched the still-chanting Rakata priests.
Jolee joined her, easing down onto the warm, hard stone and folding his hands in his lap. "How much longer, do you think?" he asked, trying to get a conversation started again.
"I don't know. It shouldn't be much longer." She turned, and met his eyes. "She's waiting for us."
Jolee frowned. "Who?"
"Bastila. I can feel her presence through the bond. She's in the temple, waiting."
Jolee delicately probed the temple, but he couldn't get past the Force shield that surrounded it. "You're certain?"
"Yeah. I haven't been able to feel her since the Leviathan, because she was blocking her end of the bond. I'm sensing her now because she wants me to. I don't know what that means."
Jolee was afraid that he did know, but he didn't see any point in voicing his fears to the kid.
They listened to the chanting for a few minutes. At length she said, "Jolee?"
"Yes?"
She asked the question without looking at him, staring off into the fading sunset in the distance. "Why did you come with us if you knew who I was?"
"I thought it was important. More important than remaining in my home and pretending the galaxy doesn't exist." At her questioning look he said, "Perhaps the best way to illustrate it is by telling you a story."
Min rolled her eyes and his heart lightened a bit. Jolee was glad to see her healthy disrespect for his crotchetiness returning, and he took her mocking of him as a sign that she wasn't quite so angry with him anymore. It was far better than the cold shoulder he'd been getting since Manaan.
"Great. I can't wait," Min said sarcastically. "I should have known better than to get a straight answer from you."
"You just keep quiet there, you! You'll listen to the story, damn it!" He cleared his throat. "Now, then. A young man sees a terribly venomous snake in his small village. Nervous, he watches the snake carefully until it leaves. The young man follows the snake into the forest. He clears the branches out of its path and helps it over obstacles. He even works to keep it fed."
The nonplussed look she gave him spoke volumes. "Is this going to be a long story? Because I've got a lot of things to do today. Fight the good fight, save the galaxy. You know, the usual."
He waved her quiet with his hand. "Shush! Many nights pass and still the young man continues to follow the snake. He even follows it into the sands of the great desert. In the desert, the snake eventually grows hungry. It turns and bites the young man, its poison quickly working its way into his system. Finally curious, the snake looks at the boy as he lays dying and asks, 'Why were you foolish enough to follow me all the way out into the desert?' The boy looks back and replies, 'Did I follow you? I thought I was leading you away from everyone else.' And then he died."
"Wow, that was cheerful, Jolee. Don't you know any happy stories?"
"No. I find happy stories terminally boring."
She arched an elegant eyebrow at him. "Let me guess. I'm the snake."
"Well, now, that's what I wanted to see for myself. I've told you before that you have a destiny before you. This does not mean, however, that your future is already written. They are not the same thing. You have the choice of which direction you take your destiny in. I'm not here to judge you or tell you which path to take. I'm here, ready to offer you my help... should you ask for it."
She hesitated. Jolee knew that a great weight was pressing down on her, smothering her; he held his breath, hoping that she'd tell him what it was.
"Jolee, you know how you told me that how someone deals with the bad part of love determines your character?"
"Yes."
Min stared off into the distance, and when she spoke, it was barely above a whisper. "Malak and I were lovers. I remember only bits and pieces. Enough to know that we loved each other."
Jolee nodded. "I can't say I'm surprised, considering the way you were mooning over him on Kashyyyk."
She shot him a pained and embarrassed look. "I was mooning over Malak?"
"Oh, yes. The way that only a lovesick teenager can."
She sighed and looked up into the night sky. "I'm going to have to fight him. All of this," her hand swept in a gesture that encompassed everything in sight, "is building up to that. It's going to come down to the two of us." She spoke with an absolute certainty that he didn't question. "I don't know if I can do this," she said softly. "I don't know if I can kill him, but I'm afraid of what will happen if I can't."
"I don't know what to tell you, Min. I'm not going to lie to you; it won't be easy. I wasn't strong enough to do it. But you're a tough kid. I think you'll do what needs to be done, whatever that may be."
She looked at him for a long time before she spoke. "I'm glad you came, Jolee." Her words warmed him more than he wanted to admit.
Jolee sighed and bowed his head. "I'm rather glad I came, too, really. I wish I had something better to say, some simple truth or wisdom that would help you."
"It's okay. It's enough to have someone around who understands." She favored him with a slight smile. "Even if they are only a padawan."
He reached out and squeezed her hand. "You're a fine young lass. I hope things turn out well for you."
Jolee saw the utter resignation in her eyes. "Honestly, I don't see how that's going to be possible."
Before he could think of anything to say, the Rakata priests finished their chanting, and he felt the Force shield surrounding the temple drop. Juhani looked up and joined them. The three of them advanced on the temple, and Jolee wondered if they would make it out alive.
A soft, salty breeze washed over Bastila's hardened face as she stood on the top of the Rakatan temple, waiting for Revan. She'd felt Revan's entrance into the temple, as well as Jolee and Juhani's less than half an hour ago. Bastila knew it wouldn't take long for them to make their way to the summit, where the ancient controls for the powerful disruptor fields were. Lord Malak had sent her here to prove her worth by killing Revan. It was a task that she was eager to accomplish.
She reached out with her mind and touched her newfound power, letting it sweep through her, dark and intoxicating, and Bastila couldn't believe that she'd once tried to deny herself this power. But then again, she'd been a cowering fool, frightened and weak until Malak had shown her what could be hers.
As a slave to the Jedi Council, she'd lived her whole life in fear. Afraid that she'd displease the Masters, she'd become the perfect, dispassionate Jedi, until she met Revan. The woman's power was intoxicating, and Bastila could feel both the power and the darkness through the bond. At first it had frightened her, but as she'd been exposed to it, day after day, it became familiar, and then seductive. However, to her shame, it had taken Lord Malak to show her what she really wanted. Bastila looked back at herself, and was disgusted. Now all she had to do was kill Revan.
She looked at the door and a cold, ruthless smile crossed her face.
Bastila didn't have to wait long. After a few more minutes, Revan entered, flanked by Juhani and Jolee. As always, Bastila was struck by the sheer power that pulsed around the woman. Revan and Bastila locked eyes, and then Bastila, using her very powerful empathic abilities, forced open the bond.
Revan.
Revan almost jumped out of her skin, and Bastila could feel surprise flood through the bond.
Yes, that's right. I can speak to you through the bond.
To her credit, Revan recovered almost immediately. Bastila could feel the other emotions pouring through the woman, relief that Bastila was still alive, guilt and sorrow for what she'd become. She was overwhelmed by the depth of Revan's feelings, and she struggled to maintain her anger and hatred.
I'm so sorry, Bastila. I let you down in the worst way.
Bastila could tell that she truly was, and she was shocked. She'd expected Revan to be angry with her for lying about the bond, and to hate her, but while there was anger and hate, it was directed inward and not at Bastila. Profound grief was something she was unprepared for. As the two of them stood frozen, staring at each other across the top of the temple, Bastila realized too late that opening the bond was a crucial mistake.
Bastila clung tightly to her anger. Do not be sorry for me! I am going to kill you and take my rightful place as his apprentice.
This isn't the answer.
Bastila panicked. Revan's emotions were too strong, and uncertainty began to worm through her. It was difficult to maintain her hatred when she could feel the other woman's emotions. She tried to close the bond, but Revan sensed her hesitation, and kept the bond open through sheer force of will. With the bond already open, it was impossible to deny Revan's will. There was no elegance or skill to it; Revan just overpowered Bastila through sheer brute force.
Juhani and Jolee stood in tense silence, watching them; Bastila ignored the confusion and fear that flowed from them.
You are stronger than I would have thought possible, after what the Jedi Council did to you. Seems that Malak was wrong - the power of the dark side is not lost to you after all, Revan. Your mind was too badly damaged to ever fully restore your memories. But your power, your strength of will, the essence of who and what you are: these things still remain! With the power of the dark side, you would be unstoppable. How can you turn your back on it?
How could I accept it? Bastila, come back with us. Don't make me fight you. You know I'll win.
Bastila did know, and fear rippled through her as she realized how outmatched she was; she would never be able to defeat all three of them. Hesitating, she realized that there was a large part of her that wanted to go back to the Ebon Hawk with them, and renounce the path that she'd chosen. But she remembered her old, frightened self, and it stopped her. She had no desire to become that frightened, powerless girl again. Looking at the Jedi, Bastila realized that she had seriously underestimated the woman, and knew that she wouldn't be able to defeat Revan. Even worse, she wasn't sure that she really wanted to. Caught in the middle of conflicting emotions, she tried a different tactic.
Join me. You deserve to be the true Master of the Sith, not Malak. Together we can destroy your old apprentice. Join with me and reclaim your lost identity! Join me and taste true power once again!
While there was a brief flicker of temptation, it was astonishingly underwhelming. Almost all she felt through the bond was grief and sorrow. Bastila couldn't believe it.
No. This is a mistake, Bastila. Come back with us.
Mistake? No, Revan - the only mistake you are making is the one you are making now! You deny yourself the power that is yours by right! You can deny what you are, Revan, but you are only fooling yourself. I know the truth. I have seen the shadows inside your mind.
The guilt pouring off the Jedi was almost tangible. I'm not denying anything. I know exactly what I am. I'm a monster, Bastila, and I don't want you to become like me.
Bastila swept away her doubts with her hate. You are a pathetic fool, Revan! Together we could have defeated Malak and ruled over an Empire, but now I will be at Lord Malak's side instead! You will be crushed with the Republic, and all the fools who bow down to the Jedi Council!
Bastila hit a button on the remote in her hand, and the hidden attack droids sprang to life. Using the momentary lapse in Revan's concentration, Bastila slammed her mental shields up. She knew that they wouldn't hold Revan for long, so she sprinted towards the small craft sitting on the launch pad. Behind her she could hear the sound of blaster bolts and lightsabers, and then a loud buzzing hum, followed by dying squawks. She raced up the gangplank and into the cockpit; by the time Revan had defeated the droids, she was airborne, racing away from the temple, back to the Star Forge. As she flew, she tried to ignore the uncertainty that ate away at her resolve.
Carth dragged a tired hand over his face, and took a second to focus his weary mind on the task at hand. Stepping back from the control panel on the hull of the Ebon Hawk, he spoke into the wrist comm. "Alright, Mission, try it now."
The air crackled with energy as the Ebon Hawk's rear shields shimmered into existence; Zaalbar roared his approval. Carth, Mission and Zaalbar were systematically testing the ship's systems. Carth knew there was a big battle coming, and he wanted to make sure the Hawk was completely functional. The disrupter field had overloaded most of the ship's systems, and the crash on the planet had done even more damage. Fortunately, they were able to scrounge the parts from the many other ships that had suffered the same fate. The planet was a graveyard of wrecked ships, from enormous, ancient battle cruisers that loomed ghostlike on the horizon, to small personal craft, all of them victims of the ancient disruptor field.
"Now try the forward shields."
It had occurred to Carth over the last few days, as he frantically worked to get the Ebon Hawk up and running again, that Morgana would have loved to see this place. With all of the ancient wrecked ships, she would have been in engineering heaven. Morgana hadn't just loved ships like he did--she'd lived for them, and he knew that she would have loved the Ebon Hawk as well, poking and tinkering with it for hours on end. Many of the tricks he'd used to cobble the systems back together, he'd learned from her. He resolved to have a full diagnostic and overhaul done if they lived through this mess; Morgana would have wanted him to take care of the ship that had treated him so well.
The forward shields flickered on, and he felt weary satisfaction. All of the necessary functions were now working; they were prepared for the upcoming battle.
"Good. Shut it down." The shields blinked off. Carth had just finished putting his tools back into the toolbox, when a small, sleek ship streaked across the sky. He was wondering who could be flying that ship, and whether or not the disrupter field was down, when he heard a loud explosion coming from the nearby temple. Canderous and Mission came running down the gangplank while Carth switched frequencies on the comm.
"Min! Are you alright?"
To his immense relief, her tinny voice came through right away. "Yeah. That was just us destroying the disrupter field. Jolee thought a thermal detonator would take care of it permanently. We'll be back shortly."
Sighing, Carth ran a hand though his hair. "You could have warned us. I swear, woman, if I go prematurely grey, it's going to be all your fault."
Instead of making her laugh as he'd intended, she said curtly, "We'll just have to add it to the long list of things that are my fault." Before he could respond, she cut the link, and he cursed himself for unintentionally sticking his foot in his mouth.
Carth sat on the gangplank to wait for their return, and Mission joined him. Canderous grumbled and went back inside the ship, and Zaalbar followed.
"Geez, Min, just because you found out you were Darth Revan doesn't mean you had to lose your sense of humor," Mission muttered as she rolled her eyes. She sat down next to him and dangled her legs over the edge of the ramp, carelessly swinging them.
"She's having a hard time." That was, perhaps, the understatement of the century. He'd hoped that he'd be able to get through to her, but the more he pushed, the more distant she became. While she had stopped trying to run away and hide, she was still distant and aloof, and he could tell that he wasn't getting through to her. Since they'd been on the planet, she'd taken every chance to go off by herself, or with Canderous, and he could tell that guilt and grief was still eating up her up inside. It was frustrating; he simply didn't know what else to do.
"That doesn't mean she should take it out on you," Mission muttered. Carth looked down at Mission in amazement. It was the first time he'd seen the little Twi'lek angry with Min. "You love her. She shouldn't talk to you like that."
"I just have to be patient." He grimaced at that thought; he knew damn well that patience wasn't one of his strengths. "It's just going to take time." He said it more forcefully than he meant to, trying to convince himself. He didn't want to even consider the alternative. "Maybe when this is finished, I can take her somewhere nice and peaceful, you know?" At Mission's worried look he quickly added, "You'll have to come with us."
Mission snickered, "Someone's got to keep you two out of trouble. I can't wait to see the look on Dustil's face when he sees me."
Oh, hell, Dustil!
In the insanity that had followed their escape from the Leviathan, Carth hadn't even considered how Dustil was going to take the news of Min being Revan. As Mission happily burbled on, plotting elaborate schemes to get back at his bratty son, the knot of worry that was already in his gut tightened. He had no idea how he was going to handle that inevitable confrontation. Sighing, he shoved the worry aside, since there was nothing he could do about it at the moment.
I'll just have to deal with that when the time comes. Now I just need to concentrate on getting us through this alive.
Finally, the three Jedi appeared, and he stood as they approached. All three of them looked tired, but that didn't stop him from hammering them with questions. "What happened up there?"
"Bastila was there. She has fallen to the dark side," Juhani explained, as Min just stood silently.
"The dark side? Bastila? No! How could that happen?"
Jolee answered. "She was always in danger of being seduced by the dark side, Carth. Bastila was strong, but she was always impatient and headstrong. Malak preyed upon her weaknesses."
"He tortured her." At their shocked expressions, Min elaborated in a hoarse voice. "I saw it when she opened her mind to me. Between that and the darkness that she felt through the bond from me, she didn't stand a chance."
Jolee shook his head. "While I'm sure it didn't help, in the end we all choose our own path. Malak has a strong hold on Bastila now - it will be difficult for her to break free of his influence."
Mission piped up. "But there's still hope for her, right? I mean, you rejected the dark side, so Bastila could, too, right? We still might be able to save her."
"I don't know," Min said, hard resolve showing in her face. "But I'm not going to just write her off. She'll be waiting for us on the Star Forge. I want to go after her."
Carth looked up at the night sky. "The fleet is due to drop out of hyperspace in a few hours. When the fleet attacks, we can try to board it then."
Jolee gave Min's shoulder a soft pat. "I must say that it's good to have you with us, my dear. For a minute there I thought you might decide...well, never mind what I thought."
Carth's attention snapped back to Min. "Decide? Decide what?"
"She wanted me to join her, to become my apprentice and kill Malak. She wanted me to reclaim my title as Dark Lord."
"But you turned against Revan once and for all! I knew she wasn't part of you anymore! I knew it!" Grinning, he pulled her into a bear hug; Jolee and Juhani herded Mission up the gangplank, leaving the two of them alone. "I told you that you would have to make a choice eventually, that you would be tested. I think that was it, I can feel it."
"Carth-"
But he wasn't going to let her interrupt him; he tucked her head under his chin, feeling the soft curls of her hair brushing against his jaw. "And you did exactly what I'd hoped you would. It couldn't have been easy. I'm very proud of you. I...I love you." Suddenly the heavy weight on his shoulders seemed much lighter, and hope surged through him. Somehow, they would make it work. "I can't wait until all of this is over with."
She pulled back and looked away. "Carth, it's not that simple-"
He grabbed her shoulders and looked her directly in the eyes. They were dark pools of sorrow, but he simply refused to let her give in to her despair. "It is that simple," he said firmly.
Min looked as though she was going to say something, but she stopped and merely nodded. While it wasn't the enthusiastic response he was hoping for, it was at least a start.
Hoping to improve upon that beginning, he thoroughly kissed her, and was gratified when she responded, kissing him back, almost desperately. For a while, he just held her, until finally they entered the ship, leaving the beach and Carth's doubts behind them.
It was a complete disaster.
Min watched the Republic and Sith fleets collide on the Ebon Hawk's three-dimensional projection screen, represented by red and blue markers respectively, and it made her sick. The Republic fleet had dropped out of hyperspace less than twenty minutes ago. Outnumbered two-to-one, and flying into a battle against an entrenched defender that knew they were coming, they didn't stand a chance. With Bastila using her battle meditation, the situation was practically hopeless. The attackers had now become defenders, and were getting decimated. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Min's rusty tactical knowledge, a skill she didn't realize she still had, creaked to life, and told her that this battle would be over in less than an hour if they didn't do something.
It was scary, really. Min looked at the battle before her; what should have been a series of incomprehensible dots made perfect sense, as she recognized maneuver and counter maneuver. All the possibilities unfolded before her eyes, like some kind of galactic game of Dejerik, where the pieces were living, breathing and dying.
In awe, she watched the effects of what had to be Bastila's battle meditation on the projection. The Republic fleet was beginning to fray at the edges. Their lines, which were already getting pummeled, were starting to break apart prematurely, and occasionally one of the ships would do something completely idiotic which invariably resulted in it getting picked off by the Sith fleet. Compared to the Sith fleet, the Republic ships seemed sluggish and slow; their reaction times were off, and it was resulting in a massacre.
Carth's tense voice came over the comm. "I just spoke to Admiral Dodonna. The Jedi are sending landing parties to try and stop Bastila, and they've asked for our help. I'm going to try to take her in now. Strap in, it's going to get rocky."
She heard the sound of Mission's and Canderous' boots thumping on the deck of the ship as they ran towards the gun turrets. Taking a seat next to an extremely worried-looking Juhani, Min silently strapped in and waited for Carth to take her home.
Carth took a steadying breath, guided the Ebon Hawk into a graceful loop and headed for the Star Forge. Jolee sat next to him in the co-pilot's seat, barking out quips and relevant data as they went. The old Jedi's words barely registered, because as he flew, he could feel his automatic reflexes taking over while his focus narrowed to something akin to tunnel vision, shutting out all other distractions as he flew them through the battlefield toward their goal. He pushed the Ebon Hawk to the limit, guiding the ship in a series of elegant spins and turns through the middle of the battle. Past the dog-fighting sublight fighters, past the large Sith battle cruisers, until the Star Forge loomed before them.
But they almost didn't make it. Carth could feel a slight tugging on his mind as they approached, slowing him down, and for a few seconds, it was like he was underwater, trying to see the surface. Realizing that it must be an effect of Bastila's battle meditation, he forcefully shook it off, just in time to avoid colliding with a sublight Republic fighter that came within meters of them. The fighter wasn't as lucky; it rocketed past, careening into a nearby Republic frigate.
"Jolee, we need a place to land."
"I'm working on it, sonny," came the terse reply. "Don't get your knickers in a twist."
Carth didn't have time to point out to Jolee that his knickers, in fact, were not twisted, because one of the Star Forge's defensive ion cannons had just targeted and locked on the Ebon Hawk. Pushing the Ebon Hawk into a tight barrel roll, Carth dodged behind a Sith fighter, just as the cannon fired. The fighter was vaporized, but the spillover energy from the ion blast washed over the ship, almost taking out the port shields completely. Between that and the pounding they were taking from the sublight fighters, Carth knew that they weren't going to last much longer.
Thankfully, Jolee finally found them a place to land. A Jedi landing party had already managed to board the Star Forge, and had taken control of one of the landing bays. Republic command was directing all the boarding parties to land there. Relieved that he finally had a place to land, Carth focused on bringing them in one piece.
The nine members of the Ebon Hawk's crew gathered in the common room, adjusting their armor and gathering their gear. Canderous strapped his vibroblades to his back and shouldered his repeater. Turning to Juhani, he handed her a satchel filled with grenades. Her eyes widened and then narrowed, but she took the sack.
"Thank you," she said warily, but not unappreciatively.
"I figured it would be better than giving you a blaster." Smirking, he added, "Safer for everyone that way."
She smiled slightly, fangs glinting, and threw the satchel over her shoulder. "You are probably correct."
Steel grey eyes met glinting yellow ones. "You are a fine warrior, Juhani. It has been an honor, fighting by your side." He offered her his hand. After a moment's hesitation, she nodded and took it.
Juhani opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, Min spoke. "Okay, everyone, listen up." Everyone stood in silence, turning their attention to her. She looked tired and grim, with dark smudges underneath her eyes, but Canderous could tell that she was completely focused on the task at hand. Outside the ship, he could hear the sounds of blaster fire, and his blood quickened in anticipation. "This is it. Juhani, take HK, Mission and Zaalbar and hold this bay as long as you can. If it looks like you're going to get overrun, leave. The rest of you are with me."
Mission protested. "But what about you guys?"
"We'll find another way off the Star Forge." Min cut Mission's protest short, using the same logic Carth had to get her off the Leviathan. "If you're dead, you can't help us. Do as I say. Okay?"
Mission looked as though she'd swallowed something sour, but she nodded. Juhani chimed in, "We will do as you ask."
Nodding, Min shot Juhani a grateful look. "Good. Thank you."
Canderous followed the others down the boarding ramp into the enemy fire, and joined the battle of a lifetime.
As they fought their way through the Star Forge, Min could feel the dual presence of Bastila and Malak, tugging her along. The four of them and the little astromech droid slaughtered their opposition; Min and Jolee fought in front with their lightsabers while Carth and Canderous covered them with their blasters. They cut through wave after wave of Dark Jedi, battle droids and Sith troopers, leaving a wake of broken parts and dead bodies, until finally they reached the command center. They used T3 to crack though any locked doors in their path.
Stepping over the battle droids that lay smoking at her feet, Min opened the door, and the Sith technicians who manned the computers looked up in surprise at their entrance. Bastila sat in the center of the room, on her hands and knees in a meditative position, underneath a large three- dimensional holo-vid which showed the battle in progress. At a quick glance, Min could tell that the battlefield situation had only gotten worse.
Blaster fire lit up the room, and Min used her lightsabers to deflect the bolts back at their owners. Behind her Canderous and Carth opened fire, while Jolee paused and used his mind to cripple the remainder of the technicians, who grasped their heads in pain. They were specialists, not soldiers, and went down easily and quickly. Throughout the fight, Bastila didn't even look up from her meditative position, completely defenseless in her battle meditation. So she was still kneeling when the fight was over.
As T3 began to interface with the now-vacant computers, Min held up her hand, indicating that the three men should stay back. She snapped off her lightsabers, hooked them to her belt and silently approached. Min kneeled in front of Bastila on the hard, cool floor. When they were eye to eye, she dropped her mental defenses.
Reaching out with a tentative hand, Min gently shook Bastila's shoulder, and the young Jedi's eyes fluttered as she came out of her meditative trance. Bastila looked up. Her face was devoid of emotion, but Min could see the conflict in her eyes as they swept over the carnage in the room.
She spoke softly. "Revan. You came."
"I wasn't going to leave you with him."
"Are you going to kill me?"
"No." She touched Bastila's hand. "I'm going to take you home."
Bastila jerked back as though she'd been scorched, and darkness clouded her regal features. "I am going to kill you," she snarled. "I am going to use the power of the Star Forge to strike you down."
Min shook her head. "No, you're not, Bastila. I don't believe that you could kill me." She could sense the conflict in Bastila. While there was darkness writhing inside her, there was still a good bit of humanity left.
Bastila rose with deadly grace and ignited her lightsaber, the red blades sparking to life in the dark, cold room. Min didn't move; she stayed kneeling before Bastila as she heard the scuffle break out behind her. Although she couldn't see them since they were behind her, Min heard Carth's objecting cry, and felt the stasis field Jolee threw over him. Min ignored them, remaining focused on Bastila.
"I won't raise my blade against you, Bastila."
"Why?" Bastila demanded as her blade hovered within millimeters of Min's unprotected neck. The red blade hummed underneath Min's ear. "We are not friends or comrades. I lied to you about who you were, and kept your identity from you. Why do you risk your life this way? You don't even like me!"
Min told her the truth. "You're right. We're not friends, and that is entirely my fault. I simply can't kill you, Bastila. You saved my life twice when you didn't have to. You tried to protect me, even when I was angry with you. You protected me from Malak when I couldn't protect myself." Min had beat herself up daily for that. If she hadn't given up on the Leviathan and wanted Malak to kill her, Bastila would have had no reason to interfere. "It's my fault you are here and I owe you too much."
"You play a dangerous game, Revan. I could end your life and gain Malak's favor with a single stroke of my lightsaber."
"You could," Min agreed, "or you could choose to turn away from this path. Let the hatred go."
Bastila's voice cracked as her internal struggle played across her face. "It is too late. There is too much anger inside me now. Too much hatred and fear. I do not see any way I could atone for my betrayal."
"I don't see any way that I can atone for what I have done either, Bastila. But I do know that this is not the way. This is not the answer. Come with me, Bastila, and we'll figure it out together."
As they stared at each other, Min could see the conflict play across Bastila's face. Rage, fear, indecision, sorrow, guilt and hope warred against one another. Min held her breath, wondering which one would win.
"I..." Bastila extinguished her lightsaber and it fell from her limp hand.
Min took the chance she'd been given and made the most of it. "I know how we can start." At Bastila's desperate, questioning look, she explained. "By using your battle meditation to help the Republic fleet. They need our help, Bastila. They're getting decimated, but I think together we can stop them."
"How?"
"By using our combined power though the bond. I don't know if it will be enough, but we can at least try."
Min held out her hand; Bastila took it, and knelt down again. Bastila opened her mind and let Min in. For the first time, the two of them used the bond willingly. As the power flowed between them, Min had an idea.
Let's get to work.
The stasis field surrounding Carth dropped with a snap; he rounded on Jolee, madder than hell.
"Why did you do that?"
"You would have interfered." Jolee stated with infuriating calmness. "This was something she needed to do on her own."
"She could have been killed!"
"Yes. I'm well aware of that. But it was her choice to take the risk."
"Hey!" Canderous barked, interrupting the two of them. "We're in the middle of the command center of the Star Forge. Don't you two think that you can do something more useful than bitching like old women?"
Carth reined in his temper as he realized that Canderous was right. Glaring at the old Jedi, he checked on T3's progress, while Jolee and Canderous kept watch for guards or anyone who would interfere. In the next ten minutes, the only sound was the hum of the computers as the droid sabotaged the communications array and shut down many of the Star Forge's defensive systems. Once he had access to the systems, Carth redirected the large, devastating ion cannons that were firing into the Republic fleet and turned them onto the Sith ships, who were completely unprepared for their assault.
As he was working, he took a second to look over at Min and Bastila, who were both still kneeling in their meditative trance. The giant, three-dimensional map above them caught his eye, and Carth stopped what he was doing to watch what was happening on the screen. Over the course of the few minutes they'd been working, the battle scene had changed dramatically, and Carth couldn't believe it. The Republic was winning.
Enthralled, he watched the battle unfold before his eyes. In the twenty years of his Republic service, he'd never seen anything like it. Canderous, who had also stopped working, was looking at the screen as well. The Mandalorian's eyes met his, and both men knew what had to be happening.
Canderous said it first. "Revan. She has to be doing that."
"Yeah," Carth agreed, his voice barely above a whisper.
The ranks of the Sith fleet were in complete chaos. Carth had seen Bastila's battle meditation in action before, and it was already an impressive power. But as far as he'd seen, the young Jedi had never used it with such effectiveness. The Sith fleet's reaction times were off, while the Republic ships worked as a decisive, cohesive whole. While that was a normal effect of the battle meditation, the mind that was directing the power this time clearly had tactical knowledge. Min took advantage of the disarray Carth had caused with the ion cannons and exploited it for all it was worth, creating huge gaping holes in the Sith defenses.
Carth could see the panicked Sith ranks, now being attacked by both sides, coming apart at the seams. She tightened up the Republic formations, which were now striking with deadly, relentless accuracy. The Sith fleet tried to rally, but the damage was already done; after a few more minutes, it was clear that the Sith were on the run.
Bastila and Min began to stir out of their meditative state, and Bastila pitched forward into a boneless heap. Min caught her, and cradled the young Jedi on her lap.
"You did good, Bastila," she said, as she stroked the young Jedi's damp hair. Bastila nodded feebly and lost consciousness. Carth picked up Bastila so that Min could stand on shaky legs.
"We should get moving," Canderous said, picking up his repeater and slinging it over his shoulder.
Carth nodded. "T3 deactivated the shields around the Star Forge's generators. Once the Republic fleet realizes it, they can target them and open fire. It should send the station crashing into the sun below."
Carth carried Bastila out the door into the corridor that was littered with dead bodies, followed by Canderous, Jolee and T3. He turned around, and saw Min standing in the doorway.
The look on her face made his chest tighten, and he knew what she was going to do.
He saw the silent apology in her eyes as she stepped backwards. The door closed in front of her.
Min touched the control panel on the door, focusing on the circuitry inside, and crushed it with her mind. Sparks sputtered from the metal facing, damaged beyond repair.
I'm sorry, Carth.
Following her tired Jedi senses, she walked to the other door and stepped through, searching for Malak.
"Damn it!"
Carth almost dropped Bastila, trying to get to the door before it closed. He placed Bastila gently on the floor and ran over to the door. He stopped when he saw the sparks coming from the lock. "I should have known!"
He took a couple seconds to calm down and reason his way out of this mess she'd just created. He knew she was going after Malak, he just needed to find another way to get there. He was not going to let her die.
Carth looked over at Canderous. "Take her back to the ship. T3, come with me," he barked as he strode off down the corridor. Behind him he heard Jolee and Canderous exchange a few words; after a minute, Jolee came trotting up behind him. "You're going the wrong way, lad. I can sense them. Follow me."
Min paused in front of the large blast doors and gathered her waning strength. Joining Bastila during her battle meditation had drained her, but not as much as it had Bastila, who had provided the brunt of the power. Between that and fighting her way through the Star Forge, she was nearing the end of her strength. But she had to finish this, one way or another.
She could sense his burning presence on the other side of the door. She wasn't sure what she was going to do when she faced him, she only knew that she had to.
Taking a deep breath, Min opened the door. The heart of the Star Forge was enormous in size; there were two levels of open space surrounded by enormous viewing windows. Malak stood with his back to her, observing his fleet getting obliterated. Min stepped through and approached; she climbed up the stairway, past a series of glowing green tanks that held bodies twisted in horrific pain, until she was only a few meters from him.
He spoke without turning to face her; his synthetic baritone harsh and cold. "Well done, Revan. I was certain the defenses of the Star Forge would destroy you, but I see there is more of your old self in you than I expected. I shouldn't have underestimated you." He turned and raked her with his gaze. His kind hazel eyes were now a cruel red. "You have proven remarkably resilient. Fate and destiny have conspired to keep you alive despite all my efforts."
Min's heart twisted in grief as she took in his unnaturally white skin and once-handsome face, now twisted by hatred. Her eyes lingered on the metal plate where his jaw used to be.
She was sure that if he still had the ability, his lips would have been twisted into a malicious smile. "Ah, you remember," Malak said.
"Pieces."
"Do you remember doing this to me?" He ran his large hand across his metal jaw.
Guilt flooded through her. "Yes."
"Do you remember how you taunted me? You were so good at being cruel, Revan. One minute I was your friend and lover, the next, your broken apprentice. You toyed with my emotions daily, sometimes hot, sometimes cold, until finally you humiliated me in front of the entire fleet."
"Mal, I-"
"You're what? Sorry?" His voice was cold and sneering. "Don't be. I was a fool. In a way, you did me a favor. I loved you so much, even then. But that killed any love that I had left for you." It was undeniably true. Min could feel nothing except a deep, burning hatred directed at her. Anything that he had once felt for her had been completely destroyed. "It set me free. And now it's time to end this, once and for all." He ignited his lightsaber, the single red blade shining in the near darkness.
Min didn't know what to say. She could sense the darkness coming from him and, unlike Bastila, there was no flicker of light or any trace of humanity left. He was just a cold, angry husk; the warm, loving man from her memories was gone.
She tried anyway. "We don't have to do this. You've already lost, Mal. Look out there. It's over."
"And what would I do? Go back to the Council? Return to the Light?" With a flick of his wrist, he flourished his lightsaber, the simple, elegant blade burning bright in his hand. "No, Revan, this time our confrontation can only end in death... yours, or mine."
Malak lifted his lightsaber and Min braced herself for his assault.
Carth and Jolee raced through the chaos and pandemonium in the corridors of the Star Forge. The remaining Sith, realizing that the battle was lost, were scrambling to flee. The pair didn't meet much opposition; most just ignored them and concentrated on staying alive.
As they raced down yet another identical corridor, Carth fervently hoped that Jolee knew where the hell he was going. The comm on his wrist chirped.
"Carth!" Mission's voice came from the comm.
"Yeah?"
"We're getting a transmission from Republic command. They're ordering us to evacuate. They're going to start firing on the Star Forge's generators."
Damn!
"Are Canderous and Bastila there yet?"
"No."
He looked at Jolee. The old Jedi gave him a slight nod. "When they get there, take the Hawk and go."
"But-"
"Don't worry about us. We'll find another way off." He cut the comm before she could argue any further.
After what seemed like forever, but was probably less than a minute, they reached a doorway at the end of the hallway. It opened into an observation room that overlooked the heart of the Star Forge. Carth looked down and his guts filled with ice water. Min and Malak were locked in a duel on the catwalk below, moving so quickly that he could barely tell what was happening.
He ran over to the far door, but it was locked. T3 warbled, rolled over to the nearest wall interface and began working, as Carth and Jolee looked down and watched the fight, helpless.
Malak's attacks were brutal and relentless, his lightsaber just a red, humming blur, and it was all that Min could do to defend herself. She could feel the dark power flowing from the Star Forge into him, and his power was almost blinding. And she was tiring, her arms and legs growing heavy as he wore her down.
"Still using that foolish dueling style, I see." He laughed and it was a vile sound, completely without joy or mirth. "You can't win. I taught you everything you know."
Realizing that she wasn't going to be able to beat him using her lightsabers, she hit him as hard as she could with a series of Force waves. Malak blocked most of them with his mind, but he still flew backwards, far enough that Min could momentarily catch her breath. Taking advantage of his distraction, she threw one of her lightsabers at him, and it whipped across the open space, a golden, deadly blur. He dodged, barely managing to keep from being decapitated, but the blade cut through his armor, biting into his shoulder, and he roared in pain. He staggered, catching himself on the catwalk railing.
Min saw her chance and took it. Pushing as hard as she could, she sent a Force wave at him, which pushed him through the railing. Malak fell, hitting the floor with a horrible crunch. Min called her lightsaber back to her, walked over to the railing and looked down. Malak was lying at an odd angle, and it looked like his back might be broken, but he wasn't in pain. He looked up at her, and laughed.
She felt him manipulate the Force, wrenching the dark energy from one of the vats holding the bodies directly into him, knitting his bones back together. Within a matter of seconds he was standing again.
"You continue to amaze me, Revan. If only you had been the one to uncover the true power of the Star Forge, you might have become truly invincible. But you were a fool. All you saw was an enormous factory; all you ever imagined was an infinite fleet rolling forth to crush the Republic. You were blind, Revan - blind and stupid! The Star Forge is more than just a space station. In some ways, it is like a living creature. It hungers. And it can feed on the dark side that is within all of us!
"Look around you, Revan. See the bodies?" His hand swept over the bodies in the glowing vats. "You should recognize them from the Academy. These are Jedi who fell when I attacked Dantooine. For all intents and purposes dead, except for one difference: I have not let them become one with the Force. Instead I have brought them here. The Star Forge corrupts what remains of their power and transfers the dark taint to me!" Min shuddered involuntarily; she couldn't imagine a fate worse than that. "You cannot beat me, Revan. Not here on the Star Forge. Not when I can draw upon the power of all these Jedi! And once you are beaten I will do the same to you. You will be trapped in a terrible existence between life and death, your power feeding me as I conquer the galaxy!"
Min's mind raced. As long as he could use those vats, he was truly unstoppable. She tried to come up with a plan as Malak leapt into the air and back up onto the catwalk before her.
Carth stood, hands pressed against the cool glass, powerless as Malak beat back Min's attacks, forcing her into a completely defensive stance, backing her up against the far wall with nowhere else to retreat. Then one of his swipes grazed her right thigh, cutting through the armor and burning her skin. Carth watched in frozen horror as Min went down, and Malak moved in for the kill.
Malak loomed above her, lightsaber raised, and Min acted on pure instinct, wrapping the Force around his neck and squeezing as hard as she could. Malak dropped his lightsaber; his hands instinctively went to his throat. Their wills clashed as Malak concentrated and tried to break free. Releasing the grip on his neck, Min picked him up, levitating him for a few seconds, then threw him as hard as she could at the nearest glass vat. Malak crashed through the glass and was cut to a bloody pulp, but he was still alive as he hit the floor. She could feel him reach out again, trying to draw energy from the trapped Jedi. Closing her eyes, she called on the last bit of strength that she had to try and stop him.
When Min called the lightening, she could feel the air charge and her hair stand on end. An enormous chain of electricity materialized and ripped through the green-blue vats, overloading them. The world turned white-hot, as a storm of sparks rained from them, their overloaded circuitry popping and exploding. Malak, who was lying at the base of the tank with a jagged piece of bloody glass through his stomach, twitched as the electricity she had set loose crashed down the vat, over his wet body, electrocuting him.
Unable to walk, Min crawled through the glass and blood to get to Malak. Small sparks of electricity rippled around his body as his blood pooled on the floor. Amazingly, he was still alive, but barely. While she knelt over Malak, she could feel his life force slipping away.
His hand clutched his bloody stomach as he struggled to speak. "Impossible. I... I cannot be beaten. I am the Dark Lord of the Sith."
Min touched his face, weeping. "I'm so sorry, Mal."
His next words cut straight through her heart. "I cannot help but wonder, Revan. What would have happened had our positions been reversed? What if fate had decreed I would be captured by the Jedi? Could I have returned to the light, as you did?"
"I wish you had," she said through her tears. "I would give anything to switch places with you."
"I followed you, always. If you had not led me down the dark path in the first place, what destiny would I have found?"
She tried one last, desperate time. "Follow me one more time, Mal, back to the light."
"No. It's too late." He reached up and caressed her face with his fingers, and Min felt the sticky warmth of his blood on her face. "Savior, conqueror, hero, villain. You are all things, Revan... and yet you are nothing. In the end you belong to neither the light nor the darkness. You will forever stand alone."
His eyes rolled back in his head, and she could feel his life force fading away. Min reached out with the Force and tried to do what Bastila had done for her. Latching on to the last spark of life he had, she held him back from death by sheer force of will.
T3 let out a series of triumphant beeps as the door slid open. Carth raced down the catwalk, and the smell of smoking circuitry and charred flesh choked him. Min was slumped over Malak's bloody body, in some kind of trance. Her skin, covered in cold sweat, had gone sallow, and her breathing was rough and irregular. Carth could see that she was dying. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her, but she didn't respond. Carth looked up at Jolee, who had caught up with him, but the old Jedi looked as confused as Carth felt. Gently laying her down, Carth searched for wounds, finding only a few blaster burns, some shallow cuts from the glass, and the non-fatal lightsaber burn on her thigh. Jolee knelt beside him, and together they tried to figure out what to do.
Min's and Malak's minds touched as she fought to keep him alive. Malak resisted, twisting and turning in her mental grip, struggling to free himself. Realizing that her will was too strong to deny, he stopped struggling to break free, instead wrapping his will around her, dragging her into darkness and death with him. She could feel her own life force slipping away, and she let him pull her down. The part of her mind that was still functioning knew that it would be easy to go with him; to let him pull her down into that blissful oblivion where there was no guilt or fear or despair. Her work was done, and the Sith were defeated. As she teetered on the edge of the murky black depths, she knew that she had to decide.
Choose, Revan. Live or die. Life or death.
And then she felt Carth's presence. Worried and scared, but strong; she knew that she couldn't leave him like this. Min chose life, letting Malak slide into darkness while she returned to the living.
When Min's eyes fluttered open, Carth almost passed out from relief.
"Hey, beautiful," he choked out as he pulled her up into a bear hug. "You scared the hell out of me."
He could hear the distant explosions and knew that they had to get moving. He helped Min to her feet and began to guide them away, when she stopped and looked at Malak's body.
"We can't leave him here."
"Min, we have to go now."
"Please, Carth, I can't leave him here. I owe him that much."
Against his better judgment, he caved at the pleading look in her eyes. Min leaned against Jolee while Carth picked up Malak's body, staggering under Malak's heavy weight. Jolee must have done something to ease the burden, because after a few seconds the burden seemed lighter.
They barely made it out in time. The three of them raced back to the Ebon Hawk, which was still in the hanger bay, despite being told repeatedly and vigorously to leave. Moving quickly through the completely deserted corridors, they could hear the explosions as the Republic fleet turned its guns on the Star Forge's massive generators. Finally, after a tense eternity, they made it aboard the Ebon Hawk. Carth guided the ship away from the Star Forge with only a few short minutes to spare. Generators obliterated, it fell into the sun below, destroying the ancient dark side technology.
Carth wanted to report to the Republic flagship, but Min insisted on returning to the Rakatan planet first. Although they were bruised, battered and weary, they complied.
They returned to the beach where they had crashed, leaving the droids to guard the ship. It was still night, and Carth couldn't believe that they had stood on this beach only a few hours before. Completing her duty under the Mandalorian blood oath she'd sworn, Min burned Malak's body.
They all watched in solemn silence for a long time. One by one, the companions slipped away, leaving Min and Carth alone on the dark beach. Mission was first; the little Twi'lek was yawning mightily. She was followed immediately by Zaalbar, who growled softly that Mission needed to watch out for wild rancors. Juhani was next, giving Min a slight bow before disappearing into the darkness, and then Jolee, muttering something about his old bones being worn out by obnoxious youngsters. Bastila stayed for a long time, until she slowly walked away, her regal features inscrutable, her eyes never leaving the man who'd tortured her. Finally, only Canderous was left. He turned his eyes to the pair and favored them with a curt nod, before lighting a cigarra, smiling and striding off into the night.
Min leaned against him, and he held her tightly, simply relieved and grateful that they'd lived through this mess. At length, she spoke. "Thank you."
He looked down at her and searched her face, hoping for some sign that she'd be alright. "For what?"
She met his gaze, love burning in her eyes. "For not giving up on me. For not hating me. For just being...yourself."
Hope swelled in his chest, and he was overwhelmed. Struggling to express how he felt, he eventually settled on, "You're welcome."
A faint, bittersweet smile crossed her lips, and she turned back to the fading pyre. Drawing strength from each other, they stood on the beach, facing the uncertain night, together.
End.
I can't believe I made it! I apologize greatly for the lateness of this chapter. It was caused by a severe case of writer's block, the Olympics, City of Heroes, The Sims 2, the end of summer and life in general.
A big thank you to everyone who read and reviewed this story. I really appreciate the feedback and support that has been sent my way. While I'd probably write anyway without the reviews, it makes it so much more enjoyable to have them.
A big, huge thanks to xenzen for beta reading this chapter.
As you can tell there are a lot of unresolved issues here, so there will be the inevitable sequel to this story. I've already started on the first chapter, which should be out in a few weeks. I was going to include the prelude as a teaser, but it was (quite rightly) pointed out to me that it would be too cruel. So we'll see how I do when I have to work with my own plot.
Anyway, thanks again!