"Oh, for goodness sakes, Ron, virgin and virginal do not mean exactly the same thing."

"So you are a virgin," he said, relief in his voice.

"I never said that."         

"You're not a virgin?"

"I never said that either," Hermione huffed. "Honestly Ron, it's none of your business!"

Ron looked at her expectantly, but Hermione turned back to the rather large fic she was reading and he slumped in his chair. He wasn't getting any more of an answer than that, and he really didn't want to think about what she could possible be reading.

He sighed and reached out to an untouched pile on his left. He picked up the top fic to find that it was relatively short. Apparently PWP, whatever that meant. He continued to scan the disclaimer and author notes, rather bored and wanting, instead, to get to the good stuff. He paused momentarily at the pairing, trying to figure out what GWHG stood for. After a moment he glared at his brother, but George was completely oblivious. He continued for a moment longer before turning to the nearest person. Unfortunately said person was Draco.

"What's femslash?" he asked.

The Slytherin rolled his eyes, glancing at the fic. "You seriously possess no higher brain function, do you?" he drawled. "Think about it, Weasel. What's slash?" Ron's face contorted into a grimace. "I see you recall reading that. Although, what could possibly be so bad about me and Harry having sex on the-"          

"Draco," Harry said warningly and the blond smirked and rolled his eyes.           

"Back to the matter at hand. You know what slash is, what do you think the fem is? What on earth could it possibly be short for when the listed pairing is the Granger and the mini Weasel?"

"Mini Wea-" Ron paled. "Ugh!" he protested a moment later. "Ginny and Hermione? That's just wrong!"

"Why?" Ginny asked, suddenly defensive. "What's wrong with that?"

"My, aren't we suddenly liberated after only discovering slash a few minutes ago."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "I've always known what slash was, Malfoy, I just didn't know the word. I simply didn't want the mental images of the boy I crushed on as a child doing, well, nasty things to you."

"What, you'd rather join in?"

Ginny shrugged. "Wouldn't say no. You're both hot, and a Ginny sandwich could be fun." She heard the twins and Ron spluttering but chose to ignore them. "But back to me and Hermione. What's wrong with that?"

"Yes, Ron, what is wrong with that?" Hermione asked, briskly, noting that Snape's head snapped up.

Ron looked squeamish and shifted in his chair. "I mean it is better than Snape," he said, not daring to look at his Potions Master. He hadn't been able to do that for a while now. "But still, she's my sister and she's…well…"

"A woman?" Hermione provided.

"Yes!"

"You would be amazed at how much fun that is to watch, Weasel."

"She's my sister, Malfoy!"

Draco smirked. "I'm glad she's not mine. I hear redheads are real…fiery. Wouldn't mind a go sometime."

Unfortunately for Draco, he had forgotten that he was sitting next to Ron and soon found himself in a rather painful headlock. Luckily for Draco, he was still in possession of his wand and Ron seemed to have more inclination to forget he was a wizard and resort to physical violence, and less to remember to protect himself from hexes.

As Ron hit the floor, Draco straightened out his shirt, and flattened his hair, before leaning back and picking up, Second Chances, which he continued to read. "I am actually sickened by the fact that I had sex with Pansy."

"Hello, I'm right here," the Slytherin said with a glare.

"I'm not blink, Parkinson," he said with a bland voice, "although, I clearly was in this fic. The kids are nice, if nothing else."

Lavender frowned. "Are you kidding, Damien is a little sh-"

"Hey, watch your mouth! That's my…theoretical son you're talking about," Draco said defensively. "Sera may be the smartest, but Damien is by far the coolest. I'd never have let him dictate my love life, though."

"Aren't you forgetting about Adrian?" Lavender asked. "What about him."

"He's a Hufflepuff. What more can I say."

"I certainly hope you'd be nicer to our kids, Draco," Harry said with mock severity.

Draco frowned. "In case you haven't noticed Potter, and you really should have noticed, given what I've done with it-"

"Spare my friends the details, Draco and get to the point."

"My point is that one of us lacks the correct anatomy for that one."

Harry snorted. "Not according to all those fics." He indicated a barely touched pile in the corner. Draco frowned and he smirked. "Mpreg." All the males in the room shuddered collectively…apart from Neville, who was still crouched in the corner babbling incoherently.

"Where did this conversation begin again?" George asked. "I'm rather more keen to get back my sister being gay than the thought of giving birth."

"I never said I was gay, George," Ginny said, looking up from her fic. "Although, everyone in this fic is. Herm, remember lending me Lord of the Rings?" The girl nodded and she smiled. "You read the Very Secret Diaries yet?"

Hermione snorted with laughter. "Oh, yes."

"Doesn't Gollum make you think of Filch a little? Oh, and isn't Legolas just Draco in these ones?"

Hermione burst out laughing. "Still the prettiest!"

"What?" Draco asked, looking a little confused. In fact there were few people who seemed to know what the girls were talking about. "I know I'm the prettiest, but what are you talking about?"

"It's a Muggle thing, Draco," Ginny said with a smile. "You wouldn't understand."

"I wouldn't want to." Draco rolled his eyes. "Where did you get it anyway?"

"Harry's bag."

Draco turned to Harry who shrugged. "So I'm a pervy hobbit fancier! If you saw those films, you'd agree." Draco remained silent, still looking at him. "Stop it." Silence. "Let's go back to talking about Ginny being gay."

"Ginny just said she isn't gay," Ron ground out.

"You're far too tense, Ron," Hermione said, "loosen up a little." When Ron glared at her she grunted in frustration. "Oh, for goodness sakes." She leaned over the empty chair separating her from Ginny, grabbed the girl and kissed her.

No one moved.

The Weasleys watched in abject horror while the others watched in fascination. Snape even put down his latest obsession, Veils of Illusion, to watch. Draco noticed.

"Hey, Uncle Severus, there's one to add to your pile of Hermione, Hermione, Hermione, Hermione, Hermione." He indicated to the kidding girls. "You can do both of them."

Draco quickly found himself pounced on by more Weasleys than he could count, and it was not until Harry finally cast a few spells that he was finally released. Ron glared at him again as Draco straightened his hair and sorted out his clothes, casting a few quick ironing spells on his robes. He sent death glares at everything with red hair, except, of course, the youngest Weasley, who was no longer in a Granger lip lock.

"Where's Percy?" Ron asked, trying to change the subject and refrain from punching the blond next to him.

"He's locked himself in that room," George said, aimlessly waving his hand in the direction of a small door to Ron's right as he settled back to read, A Night in Paris, noting that his twin was also reading a fic where he had Hermione in the starring role. Something about the bookishness, he decided.

"What's he doing?" Ron asked, but George ignored him and allowed his twin to answer.

"Oh, he discovered the joy that is smut. He hasn't come out of in over an hour, and judging by the noises-"

"Fred!" Ginny cried, wrinkling her nose in disgust. "That's almost as creepy as the Dumbledore/Umbridge/Harry fic I just threw out."

"And there goes my lunch." Draco handed Harry his wand. "Please. Obliviate me. Now."

"Me first." Harry said before shaking his head and turning back to his fic. He frowned and grunted. "Why is it," he asked Draco, distracting the blond from his disturbing thoughts, "that when we're together, I'm always completely gay, but you get to be bi?"

Draco shrugged. "You're my bitch."

"Given that you tend to be the girl most of the time, I don't see how."

"How am I the woman?"

"Ooh, don't touch my hair! I bruise easily! I'm just a poor, mis-understood son of a Death Eater, pity me! Oh, not the face! What did I say? Don't touch the hair! I'm - ouch, Draco, that hurt!"

"Good."

Harry glared for a moment, but couldn't help the smile that broke his face at the adorable pout on Draco's face.

I am not pouting!

Yes, you are!

Wait a minute, Draco thought, you can hear me?

Would appear so.

Why?

Fic writer's prerogative?

People write fic where we can read each other's minds? Draco asked aghast.

Haven't you read Gold Tinted Spectacles? Or Adamo Redamo? I'm sure I gave them to you.

Draco frowned. I started the Adamo one, but was disturbed by the thought of reading Weasley's mind, so I stopped. Draco shuddered. We were friends. He said, as if it were a poisonous thought. I got worried.

Harry smiled and kissed him. It was us that got together, you know.

"I didn't think otherwise! The very thought of me and the Weasel is disgusting!"

Harry laughed. Ron looked ill. Everyone else looked confused.

"Wait a minute," Draco said, "if the telepathy is fic related…"

Harry's eyes widened and they both looked up, suddenly realising that there was no ceiling. The roof just kept on going until there was nothing put a point in the distance. "Are we in a fic now?"

"Wait a minute," Ron asked, oblivious to the dilemma that Harry and Draco were having. "Where's Hermione?"

"More to the point," George continued. "Where are Hermione and Snape?"

* * *

TBC…?

Seriously. Someone stop me. I'm just going to keep on going. I borrowed Purple_Shoes' muse but he joined my muses and they ganged up on me. *sigh* I promise to have something substantial written soon. I'm in the process of rewriting chapter 3 of Every Little Thing… so, hopefully not long.

For those that don't know. I'm offline this week (except to update) so that I can try to get my homework done, and some fic written…we'll see how that one goes! ;)

Fic List  - again, all fics mentioned are fabby! Go! Read!

Second Chances is by kishijoten

Veils of Illusion is by Rilla

A Night In Paris by purebloodgryffindor

Gold Tinted Spectacles is by Beren

Adamo Redamo is by Jedi Ginny

And I know it's not Harry Potter, but the Very Secret Diaries are definately worth being mentioned! They're by Cassandra Claire. GO! READ!

If you can think of a fic I can get something out of to mention in the next part (if I write more!), rec me! ;)