Title: Dancing in Milk
Author: Heath07
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own anything...
Summary: Anna and Ryan always knew that one day they would dance...they just had to find the right song first.
Notes: This is another fic in the Anna/Ryan series. They follow in this order "Queen of Reasonable," "Interlude," "Balance," and finally "Dancing in Milk." This will make more sense if the other parts are read first. It really sucks that Anna is gone. :(
March 1, 2004
Anna Stern was in a funk. And not just a run of the mill, the-sun'll-come-out-tomorrow, somewhat-depressed, kind offunk.No, this was full-on blue funk.She was in a the-sky-is-falling, everyone-has-deserted-me, over-the-top-guilt-riddled-panic-attack-because-she-slept-with-someone-else's-boyfriend-and-no-amount-of-apologizing-can-ever-make-up-for-that, kind of funk.
Her friends from Pittsburgh had stopped returning her phone calls, dismissed her e-mails and instant messages as inconveniences.She never knew if her carefully crafted hand-written letters ever made it to their mailboxes since she never heard back. It had taken a while, butshe finally got the hint. She guessed what they said was really true: it was easy to forget what wasn't in front of a person. Everyone she used to know had moved on and it was up to her to suck it up and get over it. It was a good lesson, one that she hoped to put to use in her own life...her new life.
Truthfully, she didn't really miss anyone as much as she had when she first arrived in Newport, except maybe Carrie and her advice on sex. So, really, forgetting Ryan should have been simple. She had ignored him in the hallways, kept her guard up in study hall--even though she could feel his eyes burning into her. She started to eat lunch by herself because there was only so much Summer/Seth cuteness she could take between classes and she really liked the tuna melt. Why should she have to risk losing her lunch just for a little verbal stimulation?No one seemed to notice or, if they did, they didn't say anything. Seth and Summer were too absorbed in each other to notice anything.Not that she blamed them...
Avoiding Marissa was the easiest and safest plan of attack. How do you look someone in the eye, knowing you've betrayed them? Anna didn't know how, so she didn't and it really wasn't all that hard to avoid Marissa considering she had taken to being involved in every possible school activity there was. Marissa couldn't help being an overachiever, it was how she was raised; the pressure was a security blanket, the one thing that kept her breathing. Marissa's social standing was desperately important to her and she was beginning to crawl her way up the social ladder again and that kept her far away from Anna. So Anna spent time with Seth after school going over articles for the literary magazine, The Plank, and occasionally went to the beach with Summer to work on her tan -wearing SPF 50 sunblock. There was no need to stop being reasonable even though she had done a completely unreasonable and un-Anna-like thing with Ryan. Her skin should not have to pay the price for one momentary block of judgement. She hid whenever she saw Ryan coming.No one seemed to mind too much. And it pissed her off.
Anna had started to wonder if she really was that forgettable. Her worst fears had been confirmed. She didn't fit in and she never would fully engulf herself in this life, even if Ryan did. As much as she had told herself that her fling with Ryan was just that, a night of good sex, she couldn't move past the feeling in her gut every time she saw him. And she knew it shouldn't have made her want to cry when she saw him put his arm around Marissa in the hall and walk off to class like she never existed, but it did. It hurt so fucking bad she couldn't take it.
Three weeks, twenty-two hours, forty-seven minutes and five seconds. That's how long ago it had been since Ryan had been inside of her. A part of her. If she concentrated hard enough sometimes she could almost feel him right there inside of her, moving with a force and energy that was palpable. Her body felt different. Different how, she couldn't say. Just different. Like his time inside her had changed her somehow. She felt grown up, not more mature, just old. Too old and too tired to just be seventeen. Maybe she had absorbed some of Ryan and the heavy burdens that he carried so well on his shoulders. Or maybe hiding from her friends --and she used that term loosely these days because if she was honest, none of them were really her friend...well, not the kind of friends they were too each other-- was beginning to weigh on her. Whatever it was, she wanted it to go away.
Nothing was working to help clear her head and she didn't even want to think about her heart, because that section of her body was officially closed. Her legs, though, that was a different story, if she ran into Ryan on the street--just Ryan, in leather, with a smug little smile on his face--she couldn't be sure that she wouldn't drag him to the nearest, dirtiest alley and open wide for him. So it was best if she stayed in her room, surrounded by childhood and innocence.Because, yes, pre-sex with Ryan and post-sex with Ryan were two different worlds and made her two different people. In her room she could pretend only one version of the world existed, one where floppy-eared stuffed bunnies, silly little hearts scrawled on her notebooks and daydreams, were enough to keep her occupied. In the other world--the post-Ryan-sex world--Anna barely recognized herself.
Ryan had made her a lot less innocent and not even because he was involved with someone else. Ryan had awakened parts of herself she never knew existed.He'd made her feel sexy and sensual and wanted.And damn her if that didn't make her hot. So, yeah, staying in her room was all she could do not to act like a cat in heat and satisfy her feline urges. It could be called her sexual awakening, because suddenly everything was related to sex and it was all Ryan's fault. Ryan and his damn dick! If she were a witch she would put a curse on everything even remotely phallic looking.
Alternating between listening to angry chick rock, doing sit-ups and reading graphic novels had been her plan to stay occupied, but she was getting no enjoyment out of any of it. For one thing, Wolverine was starting to look really, really good and she began to picture Ryan with mutton chops...not a good visual. Laser beam sunglasses were also not a good look for Ryan, and Ryan in a trench coat just made her laugh.Though, when Ryan touched her, it did feel like tiny explosions going off on her skin... And forget working on the chopper out in the garage, there were too many reminders of Ryan. Too many dirty thoughts that got her blood pumping and her body tingling. So she resigned herself to regain some normalcy and to not think about Ryan and that's what she was doing until a knock on her door woke her out of her revelry.
Of course it was a Saturday, it wouldn't have seemed right, him coming to her on any other day. She now lived and died for Saturdays.Maybe hoping a little that Ryan might come to her, just as he appeared now, standing awkwardly inside her bedroom door with her mother standing behind him and beaming --not that her mother had ever played into this particular fantasy.But she had to roll with the hand dealt. Saturdays were her curse and salvation.
"Ryan's here to see you," her mother said, patting Ryan on the back and pushing him forward, further into the room. Somehow she didn't think her mother would be as enthused if she knew exactly why Ryan hadn't been around. She contemplated telling her right then just to get a rise out of her, but thought better of it.
"Thanks." Anna spared a glance at Ryan, immediately shielding her eyes with the comic book she'd set on her lap. "Come in," she offered, hearing her mother swish away.
Anna could feel his eyes on her and she hated it. Hated that he could make her burn just with a simple look.
Ryan cleared his throat. From the corner of her eye she could see the bed dip where he sat, tentatively, at the bottom. "So... uh, h-how have you been?"
"Fine," Anna said, sounding more exhausted than she wanted to. It didn't seem right, him being in her room, sitting on her orange comforter, with her yellow walls and green carpet. It was too colourful for him. Sometimes too colourful for her, too, when her mood was dark. But Ryan looked so out of place, so unlike himself. The cockiness and confidence she had found so sexy was missing. This wasn't the Ryan she had come to lust after.This was Marissa's Ryan, all apologies and soft looks.
"I haven't seen you in a while," he said, stretching out. No, don't get comfortable! her head screamed. She wanted to tell him to get off her bed, to get out of her house, to stop looking so goddamn good, but she didn't say anything, she just continued to stare.
Ryan looked like he was working up to speak again and she wished for once that he wouldn't and she wanted to laugh for all the times she'd yearned for the opposite...now she wanted to shut him up. "Look, I'm not mad at you or anything if that's what you're thinking. I just needed some time... I knew what was going to happen," Anna said, hoping her voice wasn't as shaky as it sounded in her head.
Something flickered in his eyes and she expected him to apologize regardless. Boys like Ryan were always apologizing for doing nothing wrong because girls like Marissa had trained them that way. Anna knew how things would go and had told him she was fine with it --even if it was a lie.
His hands smoothed down his thighs and she followed the action, her mouth watering, her brain calculating just how quiet they would have to be for her mother not to hear them putting her bed to good use. He took a breath and she liked the way it made his chest puff out. "Marissa and I broke up."
That was not what she was expecting. What was she supposed to say to that? "Oh."
He stood, his old, scuffed boots sounding heavy against her carpeted floor. She wondered if she touched him would she get shocked. His mouth was set in a hard line and his bottom lip looked a little chapped.
Anna stayed on the floor, comic book still in her lap, the CD changing quietly in her stereo, her eyes wide, her mouth opening but no words coming out.
"I just thought you should know," he said, and then he left, closing the door behind him.
Anna sat there for a long time, not seeing or hearing anything, until her mother banged on the door and told her dinner was ready. She went to bed instead.
Anna didn't know what she expected when she got to school on Monday, but it was not to be hauled into the janitor's closet by Summer.
Anna whipped around, her fist ready to connect with whatever boy thought she would be interested in him. What she saw instead was Summer grinning like an idiot, her high-heels putting them nearly at eye level. "What the...? Summer, I really think you're spending too much time in the sun if you think I'm Seth."
Summer rolled her eyes. "Good one, Anna. No, seriously, we need to talk."
"About?"Anna looked around the small space, desperate to avoid eye contact. Using her arms to support her, she pulled her weight up and sat down on the air-conditioning unit that was noisily humming.
Summer's arms flailed out in front of her. Obviously she'd picked up some of Seth's more endearing habits. "Chino totally wants you."
Anna felt her cheeks heat up. She was not entirely sure discussing Ryan with Summer was a good idea. "What?!"
Summer cocked her hips, resting her perfectly manicured hand just above the roundness of her ass. "He broke up with Marissa --not that I blame him," she said, her eyes on the ceiling as she scoffed, "God knows I love her, but she can be so selfish and clingy." Summer scrunched her nose up in distaste. "Really, I don't know how he lasted this long. No wonder Luke cheated on her."
Anna's jaw dropped. "Isn't she your best friend?"
One perfectly plucked eyebrow raised. "Yeah, so? They're so wrong for each other."
"Uh...okay. What makes you think Ryan and I are right for each other?"
"Well, duh! I've seen the way you look at each other. Don't worry, I so have a plan."
Suddenly Anna felt claustrophobic. The room was way too small for two people and way too big to be discussing who she did or didn't look at.
Anna hated to even ask. "What kind of plan?"
"A plan for you two to hook up," Summer answered, cheerily. Anna couldn't believe she wanted the other Summer back --the one that hated her for stealing Seth under her nose, the one that would rather spit on her than help her.It would make everything so much easier. Summer should hate her for what Ryan and her had done to Marissa, but she didn't seem to. Not that she knew what they really had done. She was no better than Luke and Holly. She felt her stomach knot up.
"Summer, no." Anna hopped down and tried to open the door. Summer blocked her path.
"Look, I know things didn't work out with Seth, but there's no reason for you to be miserable and I guess I feel a little guilty about the whole thing--not that I'd ever admit that in public--but despite everything, you've been a good friend and I just thought that maybe I could help you get Chino."
"I don't want Ryan, Summer. Really."
Summer crossed her arms under her breasts and smiled that I-don't-believe-a-word-you're-saying smile. "Right."
"I don't!" Anna repeated, indignant.
Summer let her arms drop to her sides. "Well that's too bad, because he wants you."
Anna shook her head. "Shut up, he does not."
"Oh no? Why do you think he broke up with Marissa?"
"Because she reminds him of his mother?" she answered sardonically.
Summer waved her hand in the air as if she could brush out that particular detail. "Okay, so there's that, too, but there's more to it than that."
"Look, Summer, I just don't want to go down this road again. I've had enough triangles to last me a decade."
Summer's eyes softened and she moved from the door. "Okay, I won't push, but the offer's there."
Anna smiled faintly. "Thanks."
It was strange how different things had become; how one person could seem one way on the outside and be completely the opposite on the inside. Summer was like that. On the outside she was flawless, like the perfect nail polish and lipsticks she spent way too much money on, and, on the inside, she was like an apricot--Anna's favourite fruit--sweet and soft when really ripe and comforting; something that always tasted the same. Marissa was like a carrot stick, orange on the outside and orange on the inside, bland. Ryan was an onion, layers and layers of depth and the ability to make Anna cry...
It was obviously close to lunch because all Anna could think about was food.
Anna opened the door and Summer followed her out. Seth was leering at them from his locker.
"Ladies!" he said, jerking his chin as if to say 'what's up'. Seth was Mac and Cheese, comforting and delicious and easy to eat too much of. Anna knew now they were better off as friends.She didn't need that second helping she had been so eager to have, one bowl full was enough, filling.
Anna smiled politely. "I've got to get to class.Thanks again, Summer."
Seth raised his eyebrows. "Should I be jealous?
Summer rolled her eyes. "You wish, Cohen."
"You have no idea." Seth eyes were bright, his mind working overtime.
"Eww!"
Anna could still hear them bantering all the way down the hallway. Turning the corner, she looked up just in time to see Ryan slam his locker shut and watch as his books tumbled to the ground. Her steps were slow as she made her way to him.
"Tough day?" she asked, crouching beside him and handing him his history text.
"Anna," he said, sounding surprised. He took the book and stood.
She shifted her weight, bit the inside of her cheek. It must have been her stomachguiding herbecause to get to the cafeteria she had to bypass Ryan and that's all she had really been thinking about. Talking to Ryan had never been this hard before. Of course, before he was still going out with Marissa and they hadn't had sex, but now everything was different and she wasn't sure how to act.
She ignored the ache in her stomach that she wasn't entirely sure was from hunger any longer and forced herself to look Ryan in the eye. "So listen, I got in the oil tank for the chopper and I was having a little trouble putting it on by myself, so I thought that maybe, I mean, if you weren't busy-"
"I'm free the whole day Saturday. I could..." Ryan's eyes widened just slightly, but Anna noticed.
Anna nodded, the butterflies in her stomach fluttering. "Yeah, that would be..."
Ryan's lip turned up slightly, an almost smile. "Okay."
"Okay. See you then. I, uh, I'm late for class."
"Yeah, yeah me, too."
"Well, bye," she said and she was down the hall and around the corner before she had time to tell him to forget about it.
It was only Monday, by the time Saturday rolled around, she was going to be one giant ulcer.
When Ryan stepped into the garage that Saturday morning, Anna had already rearranged her tools seven times. She was going for eight when she heard his heavy footsteps and smelled his sandalwood soap. She didn't want to look up, didn't want to discover that she was still laying in bed and that none of this was real, but she forced her eyes toward the door and smiled a little when she caught his eye. Ryan smiled back and slowly removed his jacket. Anna took in a deep breath.She had not come all this way on the maturity metre to be done in by a stupid white wife-beater.
"Hey," she said.
"Hey," he echoed.
He stepped over to her and picked up the oil tank by her feet, examining it. His fingers slipped into the deep grooves at the side. "Custom made? I've never seen one like this before."
"Yeah, I know a guy who gives me good deals. I know it's going to lose some of the effect once we mount it, but it'll be something people won't initially notice.It'll be a little hidden treasure," she answered, animatedly.
Ryan was watching her and she felt her face get hot. "Was I babbling?"
Ryan shook his head and smiled. He set the tank on the work bench and picked up the drill, a mounting bracket and a pair of mounting studs. He shoved a measuring tape into his back pocket and walked over to the frame of the bike, crouching down and examining it. Anna was still fixated on the workbench and it took her a moment to snap out of it and join him on the cool garage floor.
The tension, while still real, seemed to melt a little. They were just two comrades come together to work on a bike and nothing else mattered. They fell into a routine and although it still made Anna aware of what was bubbling under the surface every time their fingers happened to bump, she decided to suck it up and ignore it for the greater good of everyone involved.
That first Saturday back in the garage felt so far away and as one Saturday slipped into two and two into three and three into ten, Anna realized that a friendship with Ryan could work. That life in Newport could work as long as she had someone else by her side stumbling in the dark and wading through all the rituals and customs that seemed so important to rich people, though, she was pretty sure they still committed every social faux pas that had ever been entertained.
Things in general had improved for her. Seth and Summer were still madly in love and even the tiny iota of resentment she still harboured just a month before had somehow drained away.
Marissa didn't look at her like she hated her anymore. She'd started dating some jock from the water polo team, Luke of all people, had set them up, and she seemed happy and that made Anna feel less guilty but not entirely guilt-free.
Things were easier between Ryan and her. They didn't avoid each other at all anymore, Saturdays had become their day to spend together, working on the bike and the silences weren't nearly as awkward. They had developed a routine. But that in no way meant there still wasn't a giant, all-consuming ball of sexual tension that hung over their heads every time Ryan smoothed his hand over his chest and smeared his shirt with grease, or when Anna wore her highest heels, or when the Lexus was parked a few feet away, taunting them. They had learned to deal with it, to find outlets for their...frustration. Anna had taken up swimming and Ryan found himself in a Lacrosse league. It tired them out. It made it easier. But, despite it all,the tension was still there and it was growing.They both could see it. Feel it.
"Craig Fuller asked me out," Anna blurted out, not entirely sure why she was confiding in Ryan. Did she want to make him jealous? Maybe. Or maybe she just needed a friend. Summer was still busy coming up with strategies of how to get Ryan or in Summer's words: 'Get over himself and rev her engine.' Summer was not one for subtly and stealing the whip cream scene from Varsity Blues was not high on Anna's priority list, no matter how many times Summer assured her it would work.
Ryan was silent for a long time. "Did you- I mean, what did you say?"
Anna stopped polishing the chrome on the front fender long enough to look at Ryan. "Well...I kinda laughed."
Ryan smirked, his eyebrows raised. "You laughed?"
Anna covered her mouth. "I thought he was kidding. I felt so bad..." Ryan looked relieved and Anna wasn't really sure what it meant. "To make up for it, I said I'd go with him to that party at Holly's next Saturday."
Ryan's head whipped up so fast he hit it on the gas tank.Blood pooled at the corner of his eye where he'd been cut. "Fuck!"
Anna dropped her rag and scooted over to him. "Here, let me see," she said, touching the side of his face.
"I'm okay," he lied, pressing the heel of his palm into the cut.
"Stop it, you're going to get it all dirty," she scolded, forcing his hand out of the way. Ryan looked at her and she winced as the blood ran down his cheek. "Come in the house and I'll clean it up."
"I'm okay, really," he protested.
"Just come on, no one's even home. My parents went to Pittsburgh to visit J.D., they won't be back for a week."
"You're here alone for a week?" he asked, squinting so more blood wouldn't get into his eye.
Anna laughed. "Don't get all protective on me, I can take care of myself."
"I know, it's just...forget it, let's go."
Ryan settled into a chair and Anna went upstairs to get the first aid kit. Ryan fiddled with the salt and pepper shakers on the table.
"They were a wedding present my aunt got my parents. It was the seventies," she said as way of explanation for their ugliness. Anna had never liked them. Who gave people ceramic pink flamingo salt and pepper shakers for their wedding? Her aunt had always been the wild one in the family...at least compared to Anna's conservative mother. Those pieces of memorabilia were the only kitschy thing in the entire house, aside from the funny looking toy Robots Anna had a collection of in her room --she'd found them in a great flea market just before she left for Newport and took it as a sign of things to come.
Anna covered a cotton-ball with antiseptic and blotted around Ryan's cut and then blew on it to take away the sting. She could feel the heat coming off of him and she forced herself not to pay attention to it.
"I feel like I'm seven years old," Ryan said, looking at her.
Anna laughed. "Did your mom do this when you used to get hurt?"
Ryan shook his head, averting his eyes. "No."
"Never?" she asked, her voice a little unsteady.
Ryan's eyes were intensely blue when he caught her attention again. "I mostly took care of myself."
Anna wanted to cry for him. Now he really did look like that little boy she kept picturing and she knew for certain he'd never been allowed to be so young. She lost eye contact before he saw her tears and let her hand massage his scalp before she pulled the hair that hung over his eyes away from his forehead. The bandaid looked unnatural on him and she knew as soon as he left, he'd pull it off and throw it to the ground, but she put it on him anyway and kissed him over it. "There," she said.
"Thanks. I should go," he said, standing.
Anna nodded and watched him leave. When she went to bed the only thing she could picture was Ryan's eyes and the haunted, sad look she had pretended wasn't there.
Anna had slept until noon. It felt good to be able to do what she wanted when she wanted and could only hope that her parents would decide to stay in Pittsburgh forever. She laughed inwardly, knowing J.D. must have been going nuts having their parents around all the time. Better him than her, she thought with a snicker. Not bothering to dress, she brushed her teeth before plodding downstairs and into the kitchen.
She grabbed a slice of leftover pizza from the fridge.It was as good a breakfast as any and she ate it without guilt or her mother's disapproving stare. Something felt off, and her neck began to prickle, her body began to tingle. She pushed the feeling aside and reached back into the refrigerator, pulling out a container of milk. With no one to scrutinize her, she drank right from the spout and wiped off her milk-moustache with the back of her hand. A sharp knock at the door picked her up out of her bones and sent the carton crashing to the floor, foaming like suds over the tiles her mother had imported from Spain. Her Spider-sense kicked in and she knew who was behind the door as she clamoured for the mop. "Just a second!"
Her body began that familiar hum. There was no need to look out the window to know who was on the other side of the door. Her hair was a mess, her make-up, forgotten from the day before, was smudged and her clothes--a pair of checkered boxers and an oversized shirt--were crumbled.
Her bare toes were like ice against the cool floor as she popped the latch.
"Hey," she said, stepping aside. He didn't answer her, just walked in. The cigarette in his hand was a surprise, it had been a while since she'd seen him smoke.
It was his eyes that always haunted her. Like she suspected, the band-aid was gone, he wore the cut naked and it added to the James Dean bad-boy image he hadn't meant to cultivate. When she was seconds away from sleep, it was those grey-flecked eyes that startled her awake and kept her up for hours. Ryan had a way of looking at a person like he could tell everything they were thinking. Anna hoped that really wasn't the case because she had a lot of thoughts where Ryan was concerned.
His eyes roamed her body making her clothes feel a little tighter and her skin begin to heat. He took a long drag. The disintegration of cigarette smoke made the air seem warmer, staler.
She shifted, her top slipping down so the thin strap of her bra was exposed. When she pulled it up, it fell again and after the third try she gave up altogether.
"So...what're you doing here?" she finally asked.
"I thought we could work on the bike." The air crackled, making his words seem hollow the same way static through a phone line always made someone seem so far away, like at any moment the line would go dead and all that would beleft was silence and the empty feeling of a cordless in her palm.
She swallowed. Hard. "It's Sunday."
"So?"
She didn't look at him, she couldn't. "We usually do that sort of thing on Saturdays."
His eyes were so blue, and she had a feeling of deja vu. "It's good to change things up every once in a while."
She could hear the hint of a smile and her lips curled involuntarily. "Right, we wouldn't want to get boring. Have you been talking to Seth?"
He shook his head. "That's not what I meant."
Anna had been waiting for the curse to lift; waiting for Ryan to come to her on any day that wasn't Saturday and she knew the waiting was over. She wiped her eyes. "Then what did you mean?"
He didn't tell her.He showed her instead. There was no finesse to his actions, no focus or plan and she didn't know what was going to happen because he had this look in his eye that was a little bit dangerous, frightening.
He scared her in the good kind of way, like when she rode on a motorcycle and when her brother finally let her ride alone for the first time. The faster she pushed the bike, the more it scared her and thrilled her at the same time. She could have crashed, run off the side of the road, been chased by a cop, she could have done any number of things, but she was safe and free and that's what looking at Ryan did to her, too.
He kissed her, hard, splintering her into prisms of light that flashed in the air and hung like pixies. He tasted like the bitter aftertaste of stale cigarettes and under that there was the hint of mint toothpaste.
Ryan pushed her back, slipping slightly and holding her close to steady them. He gave her a questioning look.
"I spilt the milk," she offered in way of explanation, before claiming his mouth again.
Anna hit the counter, she reached out to brace herself as Ryan lifted her onto the marble surface. She couldn't stop touching him.Her hands were everywhere.
Ryan's tongue slipped over her teeth and explored her mouth. She didn't know how long they had been kissing, but it was long enough that the need for oxygen was making her feel dizzy.
Anna pulled back, breathing hard. "What are we doing?"
Ryan shrugged. "I was thinking Craig Fuller's kind of an ass."
Anna tried not to smile. "Oh, you were, were you?"
"Yeah," he answered and his voice was like pure sex.
"So you don't think I should go out with him?" Anna asked, teasingly.
Ryan shook his head.
"Think you might know someone better?"
"I might."
At Cotillion they had swayed awkwardly...now they danced. Not perfect, not quite on the beat, but they had a rhythm, a purpose now. And it wasn't like before, it wasn't because he couldn't have Anna.Because Marissa had moved on a long time ago and Anna doubted Ryan had ever been that interested inMarissa's lankybody or her eager needsto begin with. Anna had been over Seth for a long time, too. Now they had something real, something that wasn't entirely based on physical attraction or the rush from doing something wrong.
Now, they danced.
end.