The Jellicle Of Oz
We begin on a cold, windy night... a young tom slowly padded down the streets of New York...
"WAIT!" Sillastrap screamed storming out. "This story is the Jellicle of Oz. I don't even KNOW what
you're talking about! Now get to Kansas and talk about the RIGHT story!" The lights faded and brighten to a country road. Sillastrap came running down the road with her faithful dog, Pouncival, at her side. An old wrinkled lady walked by and scowled at Dorothy.
"Hey, why's she looking at me like that?" Sillastrap exclaimed loudly.
"SSSHH" said the other Jellicles, "get on with the story" Okay, so the old lady was looking at Sillastrap (meanie - shsh Silla!) And Pouncival, Sillastraps' faithful doggie ran to the old lady and bit her in the ear!!
"Pouncival!! You are suppose to bite her leg, her leg!!" shouted Sillastrap. Pouncival shrugged and bit the Old lady's leg. "Run Toto!!!!!!" shouted Sillastrap.
"Its Pouncival you dip." said Pouncival. Sillastrap shrugged and her and Pouncival ran down the dirty road.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH" shouted Sillastrap. They came to a stop the two panting.
"Why do I have to be the dog?" asked Pouncival.
"Cause what else could you have been?" she asked.
"I could have been OZ!"
"Stupid dog" Sillastrap said as they ran into the house. Pan to dirt road... old Lady Cherbell,
"HEY!" Cherishbel shouted. Everyone giggled. ANYWAY! She was riding her bike to Sillastraps's house where she would get the dog to be tested for rabies.
"I've got rabies?" Pounce asked.
"Yeah, now shut up." Sillastrap said. Cherishbel knocked at the door. Munkustrap answered.
"Cherishbel, what do you want? Go home!!"
Sillastrap, uhm Dorothy hid under her bed while old lady Cherish (Hey, I heard that!) and Munkustrap were talking. Then she went out into the garden and sang... and sang... AND SANG!!!!
"No way, I'm not going to sing for this lousy pay!" Sillastrap said.
"But you get the same as the others," Stargazer, the editor, wailed...
"But I'm the star!!"
"Yeah, well we had budget cuts so sing!!! Or else Pouncival gets your role!
"ARG! Not Pouncival!!!" shouted Sillastrap and sang really fast you cant even understand her.
"What do you want Cherishbel?" asked Munkustrap.
"I'm here about Sillastrap's dog," said Cherish in a goofy voice Munkustrap tried not to laugh.
"Oh what about her dog?" he asked.
"Biting."
"Ohhh you bit Pouncival huh? We better give him a rabies shot," said Munkustrap.
"HEY!" shotued Cherishbel
"No. Her dog."
"She bit her dog?"
"NO! Her bloody dog bit me." Cherishbel took the dog and stuff him in a basket Jennyanydots walked up to her.
"You know, Cherishbel, you years I've wanted to tell you what I think of you and now that I have the chance... well being a Christian Queen I can't say it!!" Jenny walked away.
"Well, la de da!" Cherishbel said, and walked out.
The old, naughty Cherish, whoops lady walked away from the house with the basket and Pouncival
"Hey, Cherishbel! Want to run off to Vegas and get married?" Pouncival said hopefully.
"Shut up, Pounce. You're a dog!" the old lady answered. Then she walked some more, but Pouncival cried, because he really, really wanted to run off to Vegas and get married, but since the old, wrinkled, grumpy lady. (Hey, I heard that!) didn't want to, he jumped out of the basket and ran back to Sillastrap. She awaited him with open arms and said,
"Pouncival! My dear little dog!" She crushed him in her arms till he turned blue and then looked at her new Teletubby (Watch yer mouth, yer stupid writer!)...Silla let go.
"Thank you." squeaked Pouncival.
"Alright we have to run away!" said Sillastrap packing.
"We going to Vegas and are we going to get married?!?!?!?!?!" asked Pouncival.
"NO! We are going umm somewhere and I'm NOT going to marry you," said Sillastrap packing her bag. The two climbed out the window and walked down a dusty path.
"We're off to see the wizard.." began Pouncival but Sillastrap kicked him.
"NOT YET!"
They came to an old circus wagon. Pouncival went and did his business on it.
"Eww... you nasty dog!!" Sillastrap said. They went in.
"I am the great... uh.. Fortune teller cat thingy" Razzle said... she was dresses up like a gypsy.
"Right...." Sillastrap said.
"Hey, I bet I can see what you're going to have for supper!" Razzle said.
"Um.. no thanks"
"Oh.. Ok," Razzle said.
Razzle looked at Sillastrap,
"You got to go home and help your auntie! She's in trouble!"
"Oh, no!" Sillastrap exclaimed in horror,
"What happened?"
"She lost her glasses!!"
"Oh, my!!" Sillastrap turned and ran home. Pouncival looked at Razzle,
"Will you run off to Vegas and marry me?"
"NOO!" Razzle screamed and kicked Pouncival out of the wagon.
When they got home, there was a horrible blizzard just outside the house "That's me!"
"Shut up, Leylyn, you're not a blizzard! And it's a twister, not a blizzard!!!"
"Whoops!" (Stupid writer!) Anyways, Sillastrap screamed and ran away from the twister... but the horrible twister took her and blew her away to Hawaii (Oz!!!!!) uhm, Oz.
"HEY!!!!! Where is my house?!" shouted Sillastrap. Her house dropped down and she walked into it. "Thank you," she said. She tried to pick Pouncival up but he was to heavy so they just walked out. Soon everything was in color!! "Whoa!!! I'm prettier in color than black and white! Those just aren't my colors," said Sillastrap.
"Pounce I think we aren't in Bixbi anymore." she said.
"Silla, we never were in Bixbi! That's in Missouri!! Its Kansas; Kansas!!" shouted Pouncival.
"Fine, I don't think we are in Arkansas."
"KANSAS!!!!!"
"I don't think we are in Kansas. Happy?"
Sillastrap heard some laughing and saw the bushes move.
"Oh, everlasting cat, prowlers!!" She yelled and picked up a pipe. The bushes moved again and she smacked whatever was in there HARD! Then a giant floating, pink bubble came and landed in front of her.
"Uh..." Sillastrap backed away. The bubbles formed into a fairy.
"Hey," The fairy said, "I'm Demeter the All-around-good witch from the North. What are you doing with that pipe?"
"Oh. Uh, This pipe?" Sillastrap asked... "Nothing"
"Well, when you hit the bush you killed a bad witch."
"Hey!! I thought the house landed on her!!" Etcetera yelled.
"Oh shut up!" everyone yelled.
"Sorry," Etcetera muttered and sat down again.
"Your turn!" Everybody screamed and Etcetera jumped up in her 'little man costume'.
"Hey, ho, hey, ho, from off our work we go," she sang off key.
"Wrong song!!"
"Whoops." Etcetera, Electra and a bunch other kitties came out in 'little people
costumes' and started singing.
"Uhm thanks, but where am I?" asked Sillastrap and looked around.
"You're in Oz my dear," the good witch Demeter (I hate being a witch!) said.
"Is that close to Vegas?" Pouncival asked.
"I'm sorry about my dog. He's mute."
"No I'm not."
"I SAID. HE'S MUTE!!!"
"I WANT MY LAWYER!!!" shouted Pouncival walking off stage.
"POUNCIVAL!!!" shotued Sillastrap. Tumblebrutus came in as a substitute doggie. "Like I said he cant talk." said Sillastrap petting Tumblebrutus. "Now where in the Heavyside am I?" she asked.
"I already said it pay attention! Now are you a good witch or a bad witch?" asked Demeter.
"I'm not a witch at all!" Sillastrap said. (YEAH RIGHT!!!) "I HEARD THAT!" Demeter looked at her,
"Listen, girlie, if you're not a witch. What are you?"
"I'm a girl, from Kansas!" Sillastrap said, "What are these little people?"
"They're the little people of the land. And they're happy because you killed the witch..." Demeter gave a big sigh. . (Do I gotta?) (YES!) Demeter sang.. "Come out, come out..."
And the good witch Demeter sang and sang, but suddenly the wicked witch of the west (Cherishbel that's you!) appeared in a puff of smoke!!
"Ah, ha, ha, ha, haaa!!"
"ARGH," screamed Sillastrap.
"Ow, my ears," complained the good witch (Stick to your script, Demmie!!), "I mean, run little girl, run as fast as you can... hey wait! You got to take this ruby red
collar with you. Go to the wizard, he'll help you!" And the good witch dressed up like Rambo and
took on the wicked witch!
"I'll get you my pretty, and your substitute dog too." said Cherishbel and vanished.
Sillastrap skipped down the yellow brick road with Tumblebrutus by her side. She came to a fork in the road. There she saw a scarecrow. She looked around. "Now which way do I go?" she asked.
"How about north?"
"Hey who said that?" asked Sillastrap looking around.
"Or it could be east."
"Who the heck is saying that?!?!?!?!"
"I am!" said a scarecrow.
"Why, you're just an old scare crow! You can't talk!" Sillastrap said.
"Yes, I can! My name's Star Crow... (I really hate that name)" (We could call you Scare Baby!!!)
"Like, I said. My name's Star Crow. Could you help me down?" Sillastrap helped Star Crow down and she landed on her bum.
"Owe. Uh. Thanks." Silla and Star Crow talked.
"You see. I haven't got a brain," Star said (Well, DUH!!!) "I heard that!!!" Star did a little song and dance. It was cute... No! It really was. Ok, well she looked silly and we all laughed at her. (HHAHAHAHAHA!!!)And poor Star Crow started to cry, because she didn't have a brain (do ya have to keep mentioning that?) Yesss!! And then Sillastrap said,
"Come with me, poor Star Crow. I'm going to the Jellicle of Oz to go home. You can ask him, er her, for a brain!"
"Yes!" cried Star Crow and danced another silly little dance.
"We're off you see the Jellicle, the wonderful jellicle of oz." they sing and they enter lock arms and they sing down the yellow brick road.
They came upon a forest full of lush apples.
"Oh I'm hungry," she said. She grabbed an apple and was about to bite into it when the tree that was being played by Pouncival slapped her hand.
"Hey! POUNCIVAL!!! You are suppose to be the dog!" she shouted.
"Not anymore, I'm a tree." (He sounds WAY too proud of that!)
"Well," Sillastrap said, "Give me an apple!"
"I don't think so!!" Pounce said.
"Come on, Sillastrap, you don't want any of THOSE apples, they probably have little green worms!"
Plato's ears perked up.
"Little greens worms??? I WANT SOME!!!" He dove at Pounce and bit the apple as well as his hand.
"Stupid tree," said Star Crow,
"I bet yer apples are all nasty and you're really dumb!" Pouncival just laughed at Star Crow, took an apple and threw it at her.
"Owe," yelled Sillastrap, because Pouncival didn't aim very well (did too!) did not (did too!) did not!! Anyways. Our little friends ran away from Pouncival and his flying apples, but suddenly they saw something. A rusty tin thing was just standing outside the yellow brick road.
"My, my, a big kettle!" exclaimed Sillastrap.
"A big kettle??" asked Star.
"Over there!!" shouted Sillastrap.
"OH!! That's Tin Ley!! She was waiting to cut up her tail and it began to rain and she rusted," explain Star.
"CUT OFF HER TAIL!!!!!" shouted Silla. Star nodded. Silla went and banged on Ley.
"WAKE UP YOU PEICE OF JUNK!!" she shouted.
"Hey you have to oil her up first." said Star.
"And how do you know? You don't have a brain."
"Just common sense. Now come on!" They took the oilcan and oiled up Ley. Ley came to life and began to break dance.
"Oh yeah!! Tin Ley has come back to this world. OH YEAH!" shouted Tin Ley.
"NO!!!!!!!!!" Misto shouted...
"Misto! Shut up and get back to doing the lighting effects!!" Cherishbel yelled. Anyways.
"THE WICKED WITCH CAME!!!!!" Cherishbel shouted! "GET HER MY MONKEYS!!!"
"NO!" Star yelled... "NO, monkeys yet!!"
"No?" Cherishbel asked. Star shook her head. "Aw man..." Cherishbel grabbed her monkeys and headed off stage right.
Tin Ley was really, really happy that she wasn't rusty anymore, so she did a funny little dance and started singing her song in a very rusty, off-key voice (Humph!).
"Okay, that's enough!" Sillastrap exclaimed, "let's go! We still haven't seen the Cowardly lion!" (Yer not supposed to know that yet!!!) "I mean, let's see what's beyond the next tree over there!" Suddenly the wicked witch appeared!
"I don't want you near that girl!" shouted Cherishbel in her haggy voice (HEY!!!!!)
"And why not?" asked Star.
"Umm because...she is allergic to you all!!!"
"No I'm not you stupid witch," said Sillastrap.
"Well you like fire??" asked Cherishbel throwing fire at Star setting some of her straw on fire.
"AHHHHH" shouted Star. Ley shoved Star on the ground and pounded her till the fire was out.
"I better be going my soap operas are just getting started! Bye bye "she said and she
disappeared.
'What a weird witch." said Sillastrap. They all interlocked arms and sang as they skipped into the forest
"Wait." Cherishbel said... "Monkeys?" everyone shook their heads. "Darn."
The three skipped into the forest. "Oh. It's dark in here." Star said
"Yeah, stupid... it's a forest" said Ly.
"But there's animals in here..."Star said.
"Like lions," Sillastrap said.
"And tigers," Star added.
"And CHEESE!!" Cherishbel yelled from off stage. The three walked down the forest chanting
"Lions, and tigers and cheese" "OH MY"
"Lions and tigers and cheese! OH MY! Lions and tigers and." (Yeah, enough! Get on with the
story!) The three pals skipped along the yellow brick road, until they heard a sound... I SAID they heard a sound. (I don't want to!) THEY HEARD A SOUND!!
"Growl!" said a tiny little voice.
"Who was that?" Screamed Sillastrap.
"Growl!" Said the tiny voice again, "I'm the Cowardly Tugger!" Everyone backstage laughed. Tugger chased after Tumblebrutus...ahem...I said he CHASED after Tumblebrutus. Tumblebrutus didn't move.
"Oh come on!!!" shouted Tugger. Tumblebrutus barked.
"AH!!" shouted Tugger and ran around in circles
Tugger did a corny song and dance number... much like he did in cats... (HEY!!!) IT'S TRUE!!
"We're going to see the Jellicle of Oz. maybe he can give you some courage!!" Sillastrap said.
" You think? You, golly gee wiz! That's be just swell!!!" Tugger said
And then the now four pals went on down the yellow brick road to find the Jellicle of Oz.
"Oh, lookie there! Pretty flowers!" Sillastrap grabbed her dog (He's too heavy!). Uhm called her doggie and ran towards the flowers.
"Will they hurt me?" Tugger asked shivering.
"Not if you don't bite them first," Tin Ley said in her rusty, little voice. Then Tugger hid
behind Tin Ley and Star Crow...
They all ran and soon the smelled something funny. They all collapsed and fell asleep. All but.... POUNCIVAL????
"Yeah I want to be the doggie again. Being a tree is boring," he said. He pounced on everyone and they all got up. He booted Tumblebrutus out and they walked up to the Emerald city
They rang the bell... nothing. They rang it again. Suddenly Razzle dressed all in green
answered.
"Who rang that bell??" She demanded
"We did!" they all said.
"Can't you read the sign?"
"What sign?" Razzle looked down and realized there was no sign. So she put one up and shut her little window.
"Bell broken, please knock" They read, so they knocked. (Talk about picky!!)
"That's more like it! Welcome my little friends! Won't you have some tea?" (NO, no, no! That's all wrong!!)
"Uhm, hi there folks! Want to buy a car??" (Wrong again! Shees ya can't hire people nowadays)
"LET US IN ALREADY!!!" shouted Star.
"Alright! That's a horse of a different color!" shotued Razzle and let them in. They
walked in and saw a horse that was red then it turned green.
"Cool!" shouted Ley. They green people lead them in and sang a song while they cleaned them up, because they were all dirty and nasty and smelt bad... (SHUT UP!!!) Fine, anyways. They cleaned them up and they asked if they could see the wizard. Of course they said no, so Tugger broke into a really long boring song about being king.
"HEY CHEESE HEADS!!!!" Cherishbel yelled,
"Look up here!" Sillastrap looked up. Cherishbel was writing Cheese Heads in the sky.
They all looked up at Cherish in the sky and made faces at her. Then they went to the wizard.
"Will he eat me?" asked the Cowardly Tugger.
"Yes probably," said Tin Ley, cause she had no heart.
"Hey, you heartless monster!" wailed Cowardly Tugger.
"Why do you think I'm here, goofy!" Then Sillastrap hit Tin Ley in the head so Star Crow had to carry her into the crown room where the Jellicle of Oz was waiting.
"Who are you little creatures?" He asked.
"We're cats," Pouncival said,
"Will you run off to Vegas and marry me?"
"NO WAY!!" (Hey, Pounce!! You're a dog, and Sillastrap is a human and the rest are... creatures!!!
Stupid!!) "Sorry."
"DONUT TIME!!!" shouted Exotica walking in.
"OVER HERE!!" shouted Tugger.
"Exotica go away, it's not time!" shouted Silla.
"Well sorry." said Exotica leaving. They all rolled their eyes.
"Can you send me home?" asked Silla.
"Can I have a brain?"
"Can I have a heart?"
"Can I have some courage?"
"NO!" Oz said...
"Well, Why not?" Silla asked...
"I really don't feel like it. That's how I am you known. I'm the Oz I can do whatever I want. You see..." Oz Continued. When Oz was done she looked at the 4. They were sitting playing cards.
"Got any 4's?" Star asked.
"Go fish..." Silla said.
"I want some fish!!" Tugger said.
"Hey!!" Oz yelled," pay attention to me!!!" They all looked up at Oz.
"Why?" asked Sillastrap.
"Because I am the all-powerful Oz and you must obey me!!! Now how about those fish?"
"You want to play too?" asked Star Crow and brushed off a few hay straws.
"Sure thing," said the all-powerful Oz and sat down, "Hey wait!!! That's not what I'm supposed to do!!"
"Well what do we got to do you all power butt ship to get what we want?" asked Ley.
"Get me the witches broom stick!" commanded the all might butt ship Oz person.
"What if we don't wanna?" asked Tugger. The oz person barked at Tugger.
"AHH!" he shouted and ran through ha window.
"TUGGER!" shouted Ley and they all ran after him leaving.
'What a day." said oz person.
They all wandered out into the forest to find the witched castle. Cher watched them from her magic 8 ball up in her tower.
"Monkeys?" Munku sighed,
"Yes, monkeys..."
"YES!! Go my monkeys!! Go get that girl, and her ugly dog too!! Bring them to me, then you may have all the fish heads you want!!" Cherishbel yelled and pushed the monkey out the window. It fell to the ground. "Oh right!" She smacked her head.
"FLYING monkeys... " She opened a cage of flying monkeys.
"GO FLYING MONKEYS!!! Same goes for you, get the girl and her ugly dog and you may have all the
fish heads you want!!" Cher danced around.
"Monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys." She sang.
"OH SHUT UP!" Munku yelled
The flying monkeys took off in a puff (Hey that's only the witch!!!) okay, they flew out of the window and looked for Sillastrap and her friends.
"You go and knock on the door," Sillastrap said.
"ME? WHY ME?" wailed Cowardly Tugger.
"Because you're too afraid to say no to Sillastrap!" snickered Tin Ley. Cowardly Tugger cowered (what else?) and slowly sneaked up towards the wicked witch's castle...
They suddenly appeared back in the forest.
"HEY!!" shouted Silla.
"Darn." said Tugger. Just then the flying monkeys come and grab Silla and Pouncival and flew away.
"We have to save Sillastrap!!" shotued Ley.
"But first PUT ME BACK TOGETHER!!" shouted Star. They put her back together.
The monkeys flew Sillastrap into the tower.
"Good work, monkeys!" Cherishbel said. She gave them a bucket of fish heads. "Eat up!" The monkeys dove in. "Now, Silla... give me your collar!"
"Never!!" She shouted.
"Fine," Cher threw her in a cage and flipped a sand timer over.
"You see... when this runs out you'll die. Then I can have the collar." (Why doesn't she just kill her now?) "Shut up!! My motive!!"
Sillastrap looked bravely at the wicked Cherish-witch.
"Somewheeeerreeee over the Heavyside," she sang (No wait, we're doing the movie version here!!) Sillastrap shut up and looked at the witch's crystal ball,
"Hey what a nice thingy you have there. Can I have it?"
"No," the wicked Cherish snickered. Sillastrap started to cry but then she saw in the crystal ball that her auntie was in trouble.
"Oh, my! My dearest auntie! Help me somebody!!"
The wicked witch was mad since Pouncival got away. Pouncival ran to the 3 friends. They were found by guards but knocked them out and dressed up as them. They walked into the castle and looked around for Sillastrap. They found her and knocked the door down. They began to run but Sillastrap tripped.
"Have a nice trip?' asked Pouncival.
"Shut up." said Sillastrap. Just then the witch began to chase them. Cherishbel set the end of her broom on fire.
"Have a little fire, Star Crow??" She asked pointing it at her. Sillastrap picked up a bucket of water and threw it on the fire.
"AH!!! I'm melting!! MELTING!!" Cherishbel said sinking down. Just then an old lady with a young man by her walked up to Cherishbel and handed her a piece of paper.
"I'm the original wicked witch. I have the "I'm melting" Copywrited. You are not following the rules. I'll see you in court." Cherishbel opened the paper.
"What?!?!" She screamed and ran to Munkustrap.
"Munkustrap, I'm being sued! You said it was ok to do it!! YOU TOLD ME TO!!" Munkustrap tried to calm the frantic Cherishbel.
"It's ok... we'll get a lawyer!!" he said.
"You'd better!" Cher burst into tears and ran off the set, dropping her broom. Sillastrap looked at the crying Cherish-witch,
"Oh poor witch! Here, you can burn us if that makes you feel better." She handed some matches to Cherish.
"No thanks," Cherish sniffled, "I don't feel like it now." Then Sillastrap and her doggie and her friends took the witch's broom and ran to the Jellicle of Oz.
"Oh, he'll be so happy when he gets the vacuum cleaner," Star Crow exclaimed.
"Broom Star Crow," Pouncival corrected,
"Gee, she really doesn't have a brain."
"Can you speak again?" Star Crow asked angrily and stuffed some hay in Pouncival's mouth.
"Here is the broom sir," said Sillastrap taking the broom and playing it down.
"Very good, but I don't feel like doing any of your wishes now go away." said the wizard. Pouncival went and drew back to curtain to revile something pink. The cat looked back and screamed. It was a girl.
"So the wizard is a girl!!!!! COOl!!" shouted Pouncival runnign up to Razzle.
"May you run off to Vegas and become my wife?" he asked. Razzle smiled.
"I'll thin about it." she said
Silla walked up to the Oz.
"Hey! It's Razzle!! " (DUH!!)
"Well, you'd better give us our wishes or I'll chop your tail off!" Tin Ley said.
"Fine," Razzle pouted.
"What do you want?"
" I want a heart!"
"Ok." Razzle went to the butcher and got a pig's heart and gave it to Ley.
"There!" Tin Ley stapled it to her chest, and walked away happily. "Who's up next?" Cowardly Tugger hid behind Star Crow.
"He is!" Sillastrap said and pushed Cowardly Tugger out in front of the Oz.
"AAARRGGH!" screamed Cowardly Tugger in fear.
"Hm, let me guess," sighed Oz, "you want some courage?"
"That's right," snickered Pouncival. Star Crow sent Pouncival a threatening look and he shut up.
"Here's some magic hair gel that'll make you courageous!" said Oz and handed Cowardly Tugger a bottle of goo.
"Gee thanks Oz!" said Cowardly Tugger and bounced away from Oz.
"Razzle!! I want a brain!!!!!!" shouted Star. Razzle nodded and gave her a brain. She stuck it under her hat.
"Wow!!!! I know right from left.cool." she said all cheeky.
"I want to go home," said Sillastrap.
"Umm you can come back with me in my weather balloon and we can take you back to where you come from. Arkansas right?" said Razzle.
"ITS KANSAS!!" shouted Pouncival. Razzle got into the weather balloon while Sillastrap said goodbye.
"Bye Tin Ley, you were cool. Bye Tugger, you were got. And Star Crow... I'm not going to miss you at all!" She looked up to see Razzle floating away in the balloon.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Razzle laughed, but a bird poked a hole in the balloon and she fell into a river.
"DANG IT!!" Sillastrap yelled. "Now I'm stuck here with that weird Star Crow..."
Silla looked over at her dog, Pouncival. He was making passes at the little green people.
"Oh dear... we got to get out of here."
Then suddenly Demeter the good witch appeared! They were all happy to see her and dumped loads of tinsel all over her (HEY!!!)
"Good witch, help me, I can't get out of this frickin' story!!"
"You have your ruby red collar! You must use it!" The good witch said under the tinsel.
"But how?" said Sillastrap in agony. She really wanted to go home now!
"Just hit your head on the pavement three times and say 'there's no place like Arkansas (KANSAS!!!), uhm Kansas'" Sillastrap looked at the witch and then pounded her head into the pavement three times.
"There's owwww no place like owww home. There's no owwwww place like OWWWW home. There's no place like OWWWWWWWWWWWWW HOME!!" she said as she hit her head. She then was knocked unconscious.
When she awoke she was home.
"DANG IT!" she said. And Pouncival was there. And Ly and star and Tugger...
"You hit your head pretty hard," Jenny said looking at Sillastrap.
"Yeah... that witch was really weird." She said (HEY!!! It's called acting you twit!)
Demeter rushed in.
"We almost forgot the moral!!" she looked at Sillastrap. "Now, what have you learned?" Sillastrap looked at her blankly. Tumble came over and whispered something in her ear.
"OH!" Silla said "If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my back yard, because if it's not there." She looked over and saw Pouncival hitting on a tree.
"HEY!!! STOP THAT"
"DONUT TIME!!" shouted Exotica.
"DONUTS!!!" shouted everyone and swamped Exotica.
The End!
Cher ran in waving the paper at Munku. "WHERE"S MY LAWYER!!!!!"
The Real End
"Hey, my heart fell out!!" shouted Tin Ley. She stapled it back in.
"Good you got it before Tumble ate it." said Cherishbel.
"You guys!!!!! It's the end!! Go home already!!" shouted. Star Crow.
The End.
A/N: I don't own CATS and I don't own Wizard of Oz. I don't own any of the cats but Stargazer who is Star Crow. DONT SUE!
We begin on a cold, windy night... a young tom slowly padded down the streets of New York...
"WAIT!" Sillastrap screamed storming out. "This story is the Jellicle of Oz. I don't even KNOW what
you're talking about! Now get to Kansas and talk about the RIGHT story!" The lights faded and brighten to a country road. Sillastrap came running down the road with her faithful dog, Pouncival, at her side. An old wrinkled lady walked by and scowled at Dorothy.
"Hey, why's she looking at me like that?" Sillastrap exclaimed loudly.
"SSSHH" said the other Jellicles, "get on with the story" Okay, so the old lady was looking at Sillastrap (meanie - shsh Silla!) And Pouncival, Sillastraps' faithful doggie ran to the old lady and bit her in the ear!!
"Pouncival!! You are suppose to bite her leg, her leg!!" shouted Sillastrap. Pouncival shrugged and bit the Old lady's leg. "Run Toto!!!!!!" shouted Sillastrap.
"Its Pouncival you dip." said Pouncival. Sillastrap shrugged and her and Pouncival ran down the dirty road.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH" shouted Sillastrap. They came to a stop the two panting.
"Why do I have to be the dog?" asked Pouncival.
"Cause what else could you have been?" she asked.
"I could have been OZ!"
"Stupid dog" Sillastrap said as they ran into the house. Pan to dirt road... old Lady Cherbell,
"HEY!" Cherishbel shouted. Everyone giggled. ANYWAY! She was riding her bike to Sillastraps's house where she would get the dog to be tested for rabies.
"I've got rabies?" Pounce asked.
"Yeah, now shut up." Sillastrap said. Cherishbel knocked at the door. Munkustrap answered.
"Cherishbel, what do you want? Go home!!"
Sillastrap, uhm Dorothy hid under her bed while old lady Cherish (Hey, I heard that!) and Munkustrap were talking. Then she went out into the garden and sang... and sang... AND SANG!!!!
"No way, I'm not going to sing for this lousy pay!" Sillastrap said.
"But you get the same as the others," Stargazer, the editor, wailed...
"But I'm the star!!"
"Yeah, well we had budget cuts so sing!!! Or else Pouncival gets your role!
"ARG! Not Pouncival!!!" shouted Sillastrap and sang really fast you cant even understand her.
"What do you want Cherishbel?" asked Munkustrap.
"I'm here about Sillastrap's dog," said Cherish in a goofy voice Munkustrap tried not to laugh.
"Oh what about her dog?" he asked.
"Biting."
"Ohhh you bit Pouncival huh? We better give him a rabies shot," said Munkustrap.
"HEY!" shotued Cherishbel
"No. Her dog."
"She bit her dog?"
"NO! Her bloody dog bit me." Cherishbel took the dog and stuff him in a basket Jennyanydots walked up to her.
"You know, Cherishbel, you years I've wanted to tell you what I think of you and now that I have the chance... well being a Christian Queen I can't say it!!" Jenny walked away.
"Well, la de da!" Cherishbel said, and walked out.
The old, naughty Cherish, whoops lady walked away from the house with the basket and Pouncival
"Hey, Cherishbel! Want to run off to Vegas and get married?" Pouncival said hopefully.
"Shut up, Pounce. You're a dog!" the old lady answered. Then she walked some more, but Pouncival cried, because he really, really wanted to run off to Vegas and get married, but since the old, wrinkled, grumpy lady. (Hey, I heard that!) didn't want to, he jumped out of the basket and ran back to Sillastrap. She awaited him with open arms and said,
"Pouncival! My dear little dog!" She crushed him in her arms till he turned blue and then looked at her new Teletubby (Watch yer mouth, yer stupid writer!)...Silla let go.
"Thank you." squeaked Pouncival.
"Alright we have to run away!" said Sillastrap packing.
"We going to Vegas and are we going to get married?!?!?!?!?!" asked Pouncival.
"NO! We are going umm somewhere and I'm NOT going to marry you," said Sillastrap packing her bag. The two climbed out the window and walked down a dusty path.
"We're off to see the wizard.." began Pouncival but Sillastrap kicked him.
"NOT YET!"
They came to an old circus wagon. Pouncival went and did his business on it.
"Eww... you nasty dog!!" Sillastrap said. They went in.
"I am the great... uh.. Fortune teller cat thingy" Razzle said... she was dresses up like a gypsy.
"Right...." Sillastrap said.
"Hey, I bet I can see what you're going to have for supper!" Razzle said.
"Um.. no thanks"
"Oh.. Ok," Razzle said.
Razzle looked at Sillastrap,
"You got to go home and help your auntie! She's in trouble!"
"Oh, no!" Sillastrap exclaimed in horror,
"What happened?"
"She lost her glasses!!"
"Oh, my!!" Sillastrap turned and ran home. Pouncival looked at Razzle,
"Will you run off to Vegas and marry me?"
"NOO!" Razzle screamed and kicked Pouncival out of the wagon.
When they got home, there was a horrible blizzard just outside the house "That's me!"
"Shut up, Leylyn, you're not a blizzard! And it's a twister, not a blizzard!!!"
"Whoops!" (Stupid writer!) Anyways, Sillastrap screamed and ran away from the twister... but the horrible twister took her and blew her away to Hawaii (Oz!!!!!) uhm, Oz.
"HEY!!!!! Where is my house?!" shouted Sillastrap. Her house dropped down and she walked into it. "Thank you," she said. She tried to pick Pouncival up but he was to heavy so they just walked out. Soon everything was in color!! "Whoa!!! I'm prettier in color than black and white! Those just aren't my colors," said Sillastrap.
"Pounce I think we aren't in Bixbi anymore." she said.
"Silla, we never were in Bixbi! That's in Missouri!! Its Kansas; Kansas!!" shouted Pouncival.
"Fine, I don't think we are in Arkansas."
"KANSAS!!!!!"
"I don't think we are in Kansas. Happy?"
Sillastrap heard some laughing and saw the bushes move.
"Oh, everlasting cat, prowlers!!" She yelled and picked up a pipe. The bushes moved again and she smacked whatever was in there HARD! Then a giant floating, pink bubble came and landed in front of her.
"Uh..." Sillastrap backed away. The bubbles formed into a fairy.
"Hey," The fairy said, "I'm Demeter the All-around-good witch from the North. What are you doing with that pipe?"
"Oh. Uh, This pipe?" Sillastrap asked... "Nothing"
"Well, when you hit the bush you killed a bad witch."
"Hey!! I thought the house landed on her!!" Etcetera yelled.
"Oh shut up!" everyone yelled.
"Sorry," Etcetera muttered and sat down again.
"Your turn!" Everybody screamed and Etcetera jumped up in her 'little man costume'.
"Hey, ho, hey, ho, from off our work we go," she sang off key.
"Wrong song!!"
"Whoops." Etcetera, Electra and a bunch other kitties came out in 'little people
costumes' and started singing.
"Uhm thanks, but where am I?" asked Sillastrap and looked around.
"You're in Oz my dear," the good witch Demeter (I hate being a witch!) said.
"Is that close to Vegas?" Pouncival asked.
"I'm sorry about my dog. He's mute."
"No I'm not."
"I SAID. HE'S MUTE!!!"
"I WANT MY LAWYER!!!" shouted Pouncival walking off stage.
"POUNCIVAL!!!" shotued Sillastrap. Tumblebrutus came in as a substitute doggie. "Like I said he cant talk." said Sillastrap petting Tumblebrutus. "Now where in the Heavyside am I?" she asked.
"I already said it pay attention! Now are you a good witch or a bad witch?" asked Demeter.
"I'm not a witch at all!" Sillastrap said. (YEAH RIGHT!!!) "I HEARD THAT!" Demeter looked at her,
"Listen, girlie, if you're not a witch. What are you?"
"I'm a girl, from Kansas!" Sillastrap said, "What are these little people?"
"They're the little people of the land. And they're happy because you killed the witch..." Demeter gave a big sigh. . (Do I gotta?) (YES!) Demeter sang.. "Come out, come out..."
And the good witch Demeter sang and sang, but suddenly the wicked witch of the west (Cherishbel that's you!) appeared in a puff of smoke!!
"Ah, ha, ha, ha, haaa!!"
"ARGH," screamed Sillastrap.
"Ow, my ears," complained the good witch (Stick to your script, Demmie!!), "I mean, run little girl, run as fast as you can... hey wait! You got to take this ruby red
collar with you. Go to the wizard, he'll help you!" And the good witch dressed up like Rambo and
took on the wicked witch!
"I'll get you my pretty, and your substitute dog too." said Cherishbel and vanished.
Sillastrap skipped down the yellow brick road with Tumblebrutus by her side. She came to a fork in the road. There she saw a scarecrow. She looked around. "Now which way do I go?" she asked.
"How about north?"
"Hey who said that?" asked Sillastrap looking around.
"Or it could be east."
"Who the heck is saying that?!?!?!?!"
"I am!" said a scarecrow.
"Why, you're just an old scare crow! You can't talk!" Sillastrap said.
"Yes, I can! My name's Star Crow... (I really hate that name)" (We could call you Scare Baby!!!)
"Like, I said. My name's Star Crow. Could you help me down?" Sillastrap helped Star Crow down and she landed on her bum.
"Owe. Uh. Thanks." Silla and Star Crow talked.
"You see. I haven't got a brain," Star said (Well, DUH!!!) "I heard that!!!" Star did a little song and dance. It was cute... No! It really was. Ok, well she looked silly and we all laughed at her. (HHAHAHAHAHA!!!)And poor Star Crow started to cry, because she didn't have a brain (do ya have to keep mentioning that?) Yesss!! And then Sillastrap said,
"Come with me, poor Star Crow. I'm going to the Jellicle of Oz to go home. You can ask him, er her, for a brain!"
"Yes!" cried Star Crow and danced another silly little dance.
"We're off you see the Jellicle, the wonderful jellicle of oz." they sing and they enter lock arms and they sing down the yellow brick road.
They came upon a forest full of lush apples.
"Oh I'm hungry," she said. She grabbed an apple and was about to bite into it when the tree that was being played by Pouncival slapped her hand.
"Hey! POUNCIVAL!!! You are suppose to be the dog!" she shouted.
"Not anymore, I'm a tree." (He sounds WAY too proud of that!)
"Well," Sillastrap said, "Give me an apple!"
"I don't think so!!" Pounce said.
"Come on, Sillastrap, you don't want any of THOSE apples, they probably have little green worms!"
Plato's ears perked up.
"Little greens worms??? I WANT SOME!!!" He dove at Pounce and bit the apple as well as his hand.
"Stupid tree," said Star Crow,
"I bet yer apples are all nasty and you're really dumb!" Pouncival just laughed at Star Crow, took an apple and threw it at her.
"Owe," yelled Sillastrap, because Pouncival didn't aim very well (did too!) did not (did too!) did not!! Anyways. Our little friends ran away from Pouncival and his flying apples, but suddenly they saw something. A rusty tin thing was just standing outside the yellow brick road.
"My, my, a big kettle!" exclaimed Sillastrap.
"A big kettle??" asked Star.
"Over there!!" shouted Sillastrap.
"OH!! That's Tin Ley!! She was waiting to cut up her tail and it began to rain and she rusted," explain Star.
"CUT OFF HER TAIL!!!!!" shouted Silla. Star nodded. Silla went and banged on Ley.
"WAKE UP YOU PEICE OF JUNK!!" she shouted.
"Hey you have to oil her up first." said Star.
"And how do you know? You don't have a brain."
"Just common sense. Now come on!" They took the oilcan and oiled up Ley. Ley came to life and began to break dance.
"Oh yeah!! Tin Ley has come back to this world. OH YEAH!" shouted Tin Ley.
"NO!!!!!!!!!" Misto shouted...
"Misto! Shut up and get back to doing the lighting effects!!" Cherishbel yelled. Anyways.
"THE WICKED WITCH CAME!!!!!" Cherishbel shouted! "GET HER MY MONKEYS!!!"
"NO!" Star yelled... "NO, monkeys yet!!"
"No?" Cherishbel asked. Star shook her head. "Aw man..." Cherishbel grabbed her monkeys and headed off stage right.
Tin Ley was really, really happy that she wasn't rusty anymore, so she did a funny little dance and started singing her song in a very rusty, off-key voice (Humph!).
"Okay, that's enough!" Sillastrap exclaimed, "let's go! We still haven't seen the Cowardly lion!" (Yer not supposed to know that yet!!!) "I mean, let's see what's beyond the next tree over there!" Suddenly the wicked witch appeared!
"I don't want you near that girl!" shouted Cherishbel in her haggy voice (HEY!!!!!)
"And why not?" asked Star.
"Umm because...she is allergic to you all!!!"
"No I'm not you stupid witch," said Sillastrap.
"Well you like fire??" asked Cherishbel throwing fire at Star setting some of her straw on fire.
"AHHHHH" shouted Star. Ley shoved Star on the ground and pounded her till the fire was out.
"I better be going my soap operas are just getting started! Bye bye "she said and she
disappeared.
'What a weird witch." said Sillastrap. They all interlocked arms and sang as they skipped into the forest
"Wait." Cherishbel said... "Monkeys?" everyone shook their heads. "Darn."
The three skipped into the forest. "Oh. It's dark in here." Star said
"Yeah, stupid... it's a forest" said Ly.
"But there's animals in here..."Star said.
"Like lions," Sillastrap said.
"And tigers," Star added.
"And CHEESE!!" Cherishbel yelled from off stage. The three walked down the forest chanting
"Lions, and tigers and cheese" "OH MY"
"Lions and tigers and cheese! OH MY! Lions and tigers and." (Yeah, enough! Get on with the
story!) The three pals skipped along the yellow brick road, until they heard a sound... I SAID they heard a sound. (I don't want to!) THEY HEARD A SOUND!!
"Growl!" said a tiny little voice.
"Who was that?" Screamed Sillastrap.
"Growl!" Said the tiny voice again, "I'm the Cowardly Tugger!" Everyone backstage laughed. Tugger chased after Tumblebrutus...ahem...I said he CHASED after Tumblebrutus. Tumblebrutus didn't move.
"Oh come on!!!" shouted Tugger. Tumblebrutus barked.
"AH!!" shouted Tugger and ran around in circles
Tugger did a corny song and dance number... much like he did in cats... (HEY!!!) IT'S TRUE!!
"We're going to see the Jellicle of Oz. maybe he can give you some courage!!" Sillastrap said.
" You think? You, golly gee wiz! That's be just swell!!!" Tugger said
And then the now four pals went on down the yellow brick road to find the Jellicle of Oz.
"Oh, lookie there! Pretty flowers!" Sillastrap grabbed her dog (He's too heavy!). Uhm called her doggie and ran towards the flowers.
"Will they hurt me?" Tugger asked shivering.
"Not if you don't bite them first," Tin Ley said in her rusty, little voice. Then Tugger hid
behind Tin Ley and Star Crow...
They all ran and soon the smelled something funny. They all collapsed and fell asleep. All but.... POUNCIVAL????
"Yeah I want to be the doggie again. Being a tree is boring," he said. He pounced on everyone and they all got up. He booted Tumblebrutus out and they walked up to the Emerald city
They rang the bell... nothing. They rang it again. Suddenly Razzle dressed all in green
answered.
"Who rang that bell??" She demanded
"We did!" they all said.
"Can't you read the sign?"
"What sign?" Razzle looked down and realized there was no sign. So she put one up and shut her little window.
"Bell broken, please knock" They read, so they knocked. (Talk about picky!!)
"That's more like it! Welcome my little friends! Won't you have some tea?" (NO, no, no! That's all wrong!!)
"Uhm, hi there folks! Want to buy a car??" (Wrong again! Shees ya can't hire people nowadays)
"LET US IN ALREADY!!!" shouted Star.
"Alright! That's a horse of a different color!" shotued Razzle and let them in. They
walked in and saw a horse that was red then it turned green.
"Cool!" shouted Ley. They green people lead them in and sang a song while they cleaned them up, because they were all dirty and nasty and smelt bad... (SHUT UP!!!) Fine, anyways. They cleaned them up and they asked if they could see the wizard. Of course they said no, so Tugger broke into a really long boring song about being king.
"HEY CHEESE HEADS!!!!" Cherishbel yelled,
"Look up here!" Sillastrap looked up. Cherishbel was writing Cheese Heads in the sky.
They all looked up at Cherish in the sky and made faces at her. Then they went to the wizard.
"Will he eat me?" asked the Cowardly Tugger.
"Yes probably," said Tin Ley, cause she had no heart.
"Hey, you heartless monster!" wailed Cowardly Tugger.
"Why do you think I'm here, goofy!" Then Sillastrap hit Tin Ley in the head so Star Crow had to carry her into the crown room where the Jellicle of Oz was waiting.
"Who are you little creatures?" He asked.
"We're cats," Pouncival said,
"Will you run off to Vegas and marry me?"
"NO WAY!!" (Hey, Pounce!! You're a dog, and Sillastrap is a human and the rest are... creatures!!!
Stupid!!) "Sorry."
"DONUT TIME!!!" shouted Exotica walking in.
"OVER HERE!!" shouted Tugger.
"Exotica go away, it's not time!" shouted Silla.
"Well sorry." said Exotica leaving. They all rolled their eyes.
"Can you send me home?" asked Silla.
"Can I have a brain?"
"Can I have a heart?"
"Can I have some courage?"
"NO!" Oz said...
"Well, Why not?" Silla asked...
"I really don't feel like it. That's how I am you known. I'm the Oz I can do whatever I want. You see..." Oz Continued. When Oz was done she looked at the 4. They were sitting playing cards.
"Got any 4's?" Star asked.
"Go fish..." Silla said.
"I want some fish!!" Tugger said.
"Hey!!" Oz yelled," pay attention to me!!!" They all looked up at Oz.
"Why?" asked Sillastrap.
"Because I am the all-powerful Oz and you must obey me!!! Now how about those fish?"
"You want to play too?" asked Star Crow and brushed off a few hay straws.
"Sure thing," said the all-powerful Oz and sat down, "Hey wait!!! That's not what I'm supposed to do!!"
"Well what do we got to do you all power butt ship to get what we want?" asked Ley.
"Get me the witches broom stick!" commanded the all might butt ship Oz person.
"What if we don't wanna?" asked Tugger. The oz person barked at Tugger.
"AHH!" he shouted and ran through ha window.
"TUGGER!" shouted Ley and they all ran after him leaving.
'What a day." said oz person.
They all wandered out into the forest to find the witched castle. Cher watched them from her magic 8 ball up in her tower.
"Monkeys?" Munku sighed,
"Yes, monkeys..."
"YES!! Go my monkeys!! Go get that girl, and her ugly dog too!! Bring them to me, then you may have all the fish heads you want!!" Cherishbel yelled and pushed the monkey out the window. It fell to the ground. "Oh right!" She smacked her head.
"FLYING monkeys... " She opened a cage of flying monkeys.
"GO FLYING MONKEYS!!! Same goes for you, get the girl and her ugly dog and you may have all the
fish heads you want!!" Cher danced around.
"Monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys." She sang.
"OH SHUT UP!" Munku yelled
The flying monkeys took off in a puff (Hey that's only the witch!!!) okay, they flew out of the window and looked for Sillastrap and her friends.
"You go and knock on the door," Sillastrap said.
"ME? WHY ME?" wailed Cowardly Tugger.
"Because you're too afraid to say no to Sillastrap!" snickered Tin Ley. Cowardly Tugger cowered (what else?) and slowly sneaked up towards the wicked witch's castle...
They suddenly appeared back in the forest.
"HEY!!" shouted Silla.
"Darn." said Tugger. Just then the flying monkeys come and grab Silla and Pouncival and flew away.
"We have to save Sillastrap!!" shotued Ley.
"But first PUT ME BACK TOGETHER!!" shouted Star. They put her back together.
The monkeys flew Sillastrap into the tower.
"Good work, monkeys!" Cherishbel said. She gave them a bucket of fish heads. "Eat up!" The monkeys dove in. "Now, Silla... give me your collar!"
"Never!!" She shouted.
"Fine," Cher threw her in a cage and flipped a sand timer over.
"You see... when this runs out you'll die. Then I can have the collar." (Why doesn't she just kill her now?) "Shut up!! My motive!!"
Sillastrap looked bravely at the wicked Cherish-witch.
"Somewheeeerreeee over the Heavyside," she sang (No wait, we're doing the movie version here!!) Sillastrap shut up and looked at the witch's crystal ball,
"Hey what a nice thingy you have there. Can I have it?"
"No," the wicked Cherish snickered. Sillastrap started to cry but then she saw in the crystal ball that her auntie was in trouble.
"Oh, my! My dearest auntie! Help me somebody!!"
The wicked witch was mad since Pouncival got away. Pouncival ran to the 3 friends. They were found by guards but knocked them out and dressed up as them. They walked into the castle and looked around for Sillastrap. They found her and knocked the door down. They began to run but Sillastrap tripped.
"Have a nice trip?' asked Pouncival.
"Shut up." said Sillastrap. Just then the witch began to chase them. Cherishbel set the end of her broom on fire.
"Have a little fire, Star Crow??" She asked pointing it at her. Sillastrap picked up a bucket of water and threw it on the fire.
"AH!!! I'm melting!! MELTING!!" Cherishbel said sinking down. Just then an old lady with a young man by her walked up to Cherishbel and handed her a piece of paper.
"I'm the original wicked witch. I have the "I'm melting" Copywrited. You are not following the rules. I'll see you in court." Cherishbel opened the paper.
"What?!?!" She screamed and ran to Munkustrap.
"Munkustrap, I'm being sued! You said it was ok to do it!! YOU TOLD ME TO!!" Munkustrap tried to calm the frantic Cherishbel.
"It's ok... we'll get a lawyer!!" he said.
"You'd better!" Cher burst into tears and ran off the set, dropping her broom. Sillastrap looked at the crying Cherish-witch,
"Oh poor witch! Here, you can burn us if that makes you feel better." She handed some matches to Cherish.
"No thanks," Cherish sniffled, "I don't feel like it now." Then Sillastrap and her doggie and her friends took the witch's broom and ran to the Jellicle of Oz.
"Oh, he'll be so happy when he gets the vacuum cleaner," Star Crow exclaimed.
"Broom Star Crow," Pouncival corrected,
"Gee, she really doesn't have a brain."
"Can you speak again?" Star Crow asked angrily and stuffed some hay in Pouncival's mouth.
"Here is the broom sir," said Sillastrap taking the broom and playing it down.
"Very good, but I don't feel like doing any of your wishes now go away." said the wizard. Pouncival went and drew back to curtain to revile something pink. The cat looked back and screamed. It was a girl.
"So the wizard is a girl!!!!! COOl!!" shouted Pouncival runnign up to Razzle.
"May you run off to Vegas and become my wife?" he asked. Razzle smiled.
"I'll thin about it." she said
Silla walked up to the Oz.
"Hey! It's Razzle!! " (DUH!!)
"Well, you'd better give us our wishes or I'll chop your tail off!" Tin Ley said.
"Fine," Razzle pouted.
"What do you want?"
" I want a heart!"
"Ok." Razzle went to the butcher and got a pig's heart and gave it to Ley.
"There!" Tin Ley stapled it to her chest, and walked away happily. "Who's up next?" Cowardly Tugger hid behind Star Crow.
"He is!" Sillastrap said and pushed Cowardly Tugger out in front of the Oz.
"AAARRGGH!" screamed Cowardly Tugger in fear.
"Hm, let me guess," sighed Oz, "you want some courage?"
"That's right," snickered Pouncival. Star Crow sent Pouncival a threatening look and he shut up.
"Here's some magic hair gel that'll make you courageous!" said Oz and handed Cowardly Tugger a bottle of goo.
"Gee thanks Oz!" said Cowardly Tugger and bounced away from Oz.
"Razzle!! I want a brain!!!!!!" shouted Star. Razzle nodded and gave her a brain. She stuck it under her hat.
"Wow!!!! I know right from left.cool." she said all cheeky.
"I want to go home," said Sillastrap.
"Umm you can come back with me in my weather balloon and we can take you back to where you come from. Arkansas right?" said Razzle.
"ITS KANSAS!!" shouted Pouncival. Razzle got into the weather balloon while Sillastrap said goodbye.
"Bye Tin Ley, you were cool. Bye Tugger, you were got. And Star Crow... I'm not going to miss you at all!" She looked up to see Razzle floating away in the balloon.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Razzle laughed, but a bird poked a hole in the balloon and she fell into a river.
"DANG IT!!" Sillastrap yelled. "Now I'm stuck here with that weird Star Crow..."
Silla looked over at her dog, Pouncival. He was making passes at the little green people.
"Oh dear... we got to get out of here."
Then suddenly Demeter the good witch appeared! They were all happy to see her and dumped loads of tinsel all over her (HEY!!!)
"Good witch, help me, I can't get out of this frickin' story!!"
"You have your ruby red collar! You must use it!" The good witch said under the tinsel.
"But how?" said Sillastrap in agony. She really wanted to go home now!
"Just hit your head on the pavement three times and say 'there's no place like Arkansas (KANSAS!!!), uhm Kansas'" Sillastrap looked at the witch and then pounded her head into the pavement three times.
"There's owwww no place like owww home. There's no owwwww place like OWWWW home. There's no place like OWWWWWWWWWWWWW HOME!!" she said as she hit her head. She then was knocked unconscious.
When she awoke she was home.
"DANG IT!" she said. And Pouncival was there. And Ly and star and Tugger...
"You hit your head pretty hard," Jenny said looking at Sillastrap.
"Yeah... that witch was really weird." She said (HEY!!! It's called acting you twit!)
Demeter rushed in.
"We almost forgot the moral!!" she looked at Sillastrap. "Now, what have you learned?" Sillastrap looked at her blankly. Tumble came over and whispered something in her ear.
"OH!" Silla said "If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my back yard, because if it's not there." She looked over and saw Pouncival hitting on a tree.
"HEY!!! STOP THAT"
"DONUT TIME!!" shouted Exotica.
"DONUTS!!!" shouted everyone and swamped Exotica.
The End!
Cher ran in waving the paper at Munku. "WHERE"S MY LAWYER!!!!!"
The Real End
"Hey, my heart fell out!!" shouted Tin Ley. She stapled it back in.
"Good you got it before Tumble ate it." said Cherishbel.
"You guys!!!!! It's the end!! Go home already!!" shouted. Star Crow.
The End.
A/N: I don't own CATS and I don't own Wizard of Oz. I don't own any of the cats but Stargazer who is Star Crow. DONT SUE!