Chapter One: Childish Games

I am Sirius Black. From the Noblest Most Ancient House of Black. A whole lot of bullshit if you ask me. A family so deep in the dark arts and pureblood mania I was surprised none of them became Death Eaters until my generation was born and hell broke loose. This is the story of how I survived over the years before I met my downfall by the person I used to love so much.

I grew up closest to my cousin Bellatrix. We were closest in age but as we grew older we grew more apart until what was left of our love were the memories of happy summer days and the not so happy memories that led us through our childhood. The day we stopped talking came as a surprise for everyone, even my mother...

"Hey," said Bellatrix that day she came back from her first year at Hogwarts. I was lying on my bed staring at the ceiling and my gaze didn't change direction. "Why didn't you answer any of my letters?"

During the year, she had written letters that had remained unanswered and I really was not in the mood for explaining anything to her.

"If it wasn't because I didn't have time, it was because I didn't feel like it," I said shrugging. I looked at her just in time to see the pain in her eyes changing rapidly to hostility. I was being harsh on her for a reason and she knew it: She had been sorted into Slytherin.

"Why are you acting like that? Why do you ignore me?" she inquired. I ignored her sudden outburst and looked back at the ceiling. I wished she had gotten the point, but apparently, she didn't. Bellatrix was not one to let her questions remain unanswered. "Answer me you muggle loving fool!"

Her eyes widened as she registered what she had just said, but before she could say anything, I was on my feet and pushing her out the door while answering coldly, "You just answered your own question, Bellatrix."

She tried to talk to me but I slammed the door on her face. She tried to talk to me through the door but almost immediately gave up, as I wouldn't utter an answer.

I successfully avoided her for the rest of the summer. I was trying miserably to enjoy the few hours I had left at the hole I had to call a home, when I met her again. The last time I talked to her like we used to back to the previous year.

"Bored?" asked a voice from the fireplace. I was already planning my escape plan but she spoke before I could. "Sirius, I'm sorry."

"For what?" I asked, curiously as though I didn't know what she was talking about.

"For failing you," she said quietly. "Our promise. Everything."

I stared at her for a moment before sitting on the couch opposite from her. "What happened?"

"I don't know I just think that what we dream of is never going to happen," she said. "I don't think I can keep that promise much longer, Sirius. I've changed."

A year. Just a year and she fails to try to succeed. She fails to follow her dreams. Bellatrix Black no longer existed in my world. The Bellatrix I loved was sweet, caring, and independent. This Bellatrix was cold, ambitious... A monster that wanted to haunt my memories. In addition, she was only an eleven year old. Two minutes before I was praying for the hours between me and Hogwarts to vanish in a second, now I feared what I would encounter. I feared what it was going to be like to meet Bellatrix Black of Slytherin House.

"Am I not aloud to change my views from when I was ten years old?" she said, innocently. That just didn't fit. This was not the same person. I couldn't bring myself to express how I felt calmly, so I exploded with anger.

"You changed your views in a year, Bella! Only because you befriended people who have the same pureblood mania as our parents! I don't think I even know you anymore! Do you realize how much it meant to me the promise that we made about following our instincts? No, of course you don't 'cause you'd rather please everyone else than please yourself!" I had no idea where that came from, but I felt older. I felt as though I had aged in a second fifty years that weighed a ton on my shoulders. I was furious. My mind was racing with pain, suffering, anger, and frustration and before I could put my thoughts in order, I said the words I never intended to say, but didn't regret them either. "Bellatrix Black is dead to me. You are no longer my cousin."

I stormed out of the room, not waiting for an answer. Only to be followed by my mother, who had been listening from the doorway.

"Why do you say such things, Sirius?" she said, calmly. My mother was never really that bad, that was until I was sorted into Gryffindor. "Do you know how much he cares for you? She's just following her heart, as should you. You can't just go socializing with muggle-born and half-bloods."

...Then there were times when she wasn't so nice...

"Apologize immediately."

I stared at my mother before going up to my room. "You know what, Mother. I think I'll let this one pass." I slammed the door behind me and I could fell my mother glaring daggers at the door. She cared for me and my cousin, but she didn't care enough to let me be.

Years at Hogwarts weren't very easy for the both of us. We mostly tried to avoid each other but the times we did encounter we both tried our best to embarrass each other in front of our friends, but mostly she was the one who got embarrassed.

Fifth year was really the turning point of my life. Regulus was sorted into Slytherin and was added to the list of scumbags trying to take my pride away. If my parents didn't have time for me before Hogwarts, they had even less now. They were too busy kissing the ground Regulus, Bellatrix and Narcissa walked on. The only time I got attention was when I got detention or just to brag about my intelligence to friends and other family members.

Sixth year, I finally opened my eyes completely the moment Bellatrix wanted to talk to me, as we had done six years before...

"Siri?" she said as she opened the door to my room. I stiffened; I had not heard that tone in so long it even made me shiver.

"What do you want?" I said curtly, I was not in the mood for a friendly conversation with her.

"I only wanted to know if you will ever forgive me."

I snorted. If it were not because I was in no mood to laugh, I would have probably died.

"I want to ask you something, Bella," I said, coolly. "D'you think I should forgive you? I really want to know what you think because it would really help in the easy mental debate I would have to answer your question," she looked away from me ashamed. She knew I could not bring myself to forgive her; it was just not in my nature to forgive betrayers. "You see, Bella. I think I made clear you were not my cousin anymore. The life you are living is not what you deserve, or at least what the old Bella deserved. She deserved a man who loved her and really cared for her but look at the bloody bastard you're going to marry! D'you think I feel proud of what you've become? D'you think I like not talking to you? I hate it! I hate the tense silence there is every time we are in the same room! I hate that I'm still trying to get accustomed to not having someone to understand me and is not an outside person! I hate not having you, but right now I don't think you deserve forgiveness."

She stared at me, silent tears running down her face. It took me aback to see her cry, because Bellatrix Black never cried.

"I hate," she started softly. "The way you're the only one that can see through me, Sirius. But I can't back out–"

"You don't want to back out, Bella," I said, my anger remaining passive. "And this time I won't do anything to stop you, 'cause you made your decision. Now please, leave."

She opened her mouth to say something but immediately closed it and left.

The last time I ever saw Bellatrix. Unless you count that glimpse I got of her coming in to Azkaban. Okay so I got a good look at the remains of my beloved cousin...

I saw her as she approached my cell. It was a though it was another person, my beautiful cousin had vanished and in her place was a cold, horrible woman. Her long black hair was pulled back in a ponytail and it had lost its life, just like her piercing blue eyes now looked cold, dark, and haunted. She looked at me with pure hatred and I looked at her the same way.

"These were not childish games, Bella," I said as she passed by.

"They were, in my mind," she replied. I knew she had regretted not listening to me all those years ago. Now, she was paying for it.

Bellatrix never thought she would be thrown in Azkaban. Hell, when we were kids she always said she would never kill anyone. Well, many years later she did as well as if she had killed them, she drove innocent people insane because she was blinded by malice. However, no matter what side we were on we would always lose. I was in the good side, she was in the bad. Nevertheless, I Sirius Black and my cousin Bellatrix Black were both imprisoned for the same reason: we never thought about the consequences of our actions.

Disclaimer: I have no reason to kill a hot-sexy-drop-dead-gorgeous man.

A/N: I kind of fixed the chapter a little. I got some reviews and I decided to read back on my work and damn did this chapter and chapter two suck? Lol... hope you enjoyed it this time. Don't forget to review... always review.