Final Chapter: TO INFINITY
Shock filled Xiao Yo as she drank in the sight of him. The last time she saw Xi Men was the day she flew back to Minnesota. How she missed him...
Xiao Yo tore her gaze away and looked back at Drew, who was looking at her strangely.
"Wh-what's going on here, Drew?"
"We're all here," he said simply.
In agitation, Xiao Yo glanced at Xi Men but he also looked as confused as she was.
"What is this?" she asked Drew.
In front of her eyes Drew took her hand and removed the ring.
"I arranged this. I told him to come."
"You?" she asked in disbelief.
Drew let go of her hand and she looked at it, now devoid of the diamond ring. "I'm setting you free, Raine."
"What ? "
He cut her off. "You have always belonged to him. I merely took care of you for a while. Now I am giving you back."
He turned to look at Xi Men, nodding at him slightly. "I won't ask you to love her, because I know you already do. I only ask that you take care of her."
Like a statue rooted to the spot she stood there. When he moved past her she could not move a muscle. Not an inch.
Xi Men was having difficulty grasping everything fully. He heard Drew's words, even felt him tap him lightly on the shoulder as he left.
Xiao Yo had not moved. In truth, he feared she had drawn into herself and had retreated to a catatonic state. But he could not find the strength to go to her.
About five minutes after Drew left, she seemed to have woken up.
Turning abruptly, she only gave him the briefest glance and sprinted past him, out of the doorway, leaving him alone at the rooftop, racing after Drew.
Trying hard not to break down, Drew got into the waiting car and nodded at his friend behind the wheel. But before they could move, the door beside him opened and Xiao Yo let herself in.
Xiao Yo spoke to the driver without looking at him. "Drive," she said. "I don't care where, just step on it!"
Drew and the man behind the wheel exchanged helpless glances through the mirror and Drew merely nodded. Xiao Yo finally heaved a sigh when the car moved forward.
She moved to face Drew fully.
"I am getting tired of this runaround, Drew," she said wearily.
He remained facing forward, willing himself not to look at her. "So am I. That's why I am doing this. I want a rest, Raine."
"But why!?" She wanted to scream at him.
His voice was calm when he spoke. "Because, contrary to what you have led yourself to believe, I am a very selfish person. I could never bear the thought of having to share you with anyone. I am no saint, Raine. I'm just a man, and I am not blind. At least...not any longer."
A heavy breath released from him. "I can see you still love Xi Men the way you did before...unconditionally...probably even more now. And I also see it is not unrequited."
"But I have made my choice, Drew. I chose you."
"Your heart belongs to another."
"But I - "
"Don't say it. Please..." He closed his eyes, and opened them again. "I do not think I can handle hearing you speak them."
He turned to look at her finally and he saw the tears already spilling out of her lovely eyes. He swallowed.
"I do not hate you. I could never hate you. I know in your own small way, you also found it in your heart to love me, just...not enough. I guess it was wishful thinking for me to hope I could make you forget him."
When she was about to say something, he held up his hand and stopped her.
"Wait, let me finish." He sighed. "We could go back to Toronto right now and pretend the past months never took place. We could pretend we forgot all that's happened...all about him. We could live the life we originally planned together. But we both know it wouldn't last."
He looked deep into her eyes and for a moment she thought she was looking into the deep blue orbs of old.
"Sooner or later, you'll realize your mistake in choosing me - someone you don't love - over him. I couldn't bear the thought of having you look at me with regret in your eyes. Or worse, hate."
"You know that would never happen," she whispered.
"Perhaps." His eyes took a faraway look as he remembered something. "Do you remember when we first met and became friends? I thought, 'this girl is so unhappy.' I swore there and then that someday I will make you the happiest woman. Now I find that the only way I could fulfill that promise is to let you go."
"What if I don't want to go?" she asked with a sniff.
"That's up to you," he said airily, having a hard time putting up a brave front when his heart is breaking. "But I would not keep you. I already told you. I am a selfish guy. I don't want to share."
She wiped a wayward tear but soon it was replaced with yet more. "Don't you love me anymore?"
His voice was filled with emotion as he answered her. "I love you...so much it is killing me. But I also want to live, Raine. So I have to turn away." He reached for her hand and resisted the urge to pull her against him. "You love Xi Men, I can see it in your eyes."
"I don't want to have to choose again..."
"You have made your choice a long time ago. You just didn't know it then." He gave a wistful smile. "Don't be guilty. There's no need for that. I came into this with my eyes wide open. I came into your life when you were at your lowest, and even the despite the knowledge that you were in love with someone else. I was so persistent. You haven't done anything of which you should be guilty about."
A scornful laugh issued out of her. "Just like Hua Ze Lei."
"No." His denial was firm, as he remembered all the stoires he's been told of Hua Ze Lei and his involvement with Dao Ming Si and Shancai. "Unlike Hua Ze Lei, I do not think I can stick around while the two of you bask in your happiness together. I'm brave, but not that brave. After this, you might never see me again. I might never see you again. But if he ever hurts you - even once - if he makes you cry, call me."
He looked deep into her teary eyes. "Call me...and I'll come running."
"You have done so much for me..."
"Then let me do this one last thing. You once told me your greatest fear. Now I am giving you the chance to conquer that fear. Follow what your heart tells you, Raine."
She stared hard at him.
"DON'T FAIL ME NOW."
She searched his eyes. "What about your greatest fear?"
Drew shook his head. "I could never lose you...because I never fully had you."
To his surprise she wrapped her arms around him, holding on tight. "You'll always have me...Always..."
She held on to him...so tight...as though she didn't want to let go.
He had been walking for a while now - probably for an hour already, without direction, without aim.
Xi Men looked around and noticed the sun had fully risen, and people were now rushing to their work. He could not even figure out exactly where he is right now.
Like a man lost he wandered the streets, his mind blank, his heart empty.
Xiao Yo left him at the rooftop...and went after Drew. Clearly she had made her choice. That was it. Simple as that.
Weakly he leaned against one of the post, completely oblivious of the world moving fast around him. Slowly he slid to the ground until he was seated there, his head down. He was totally unaware of the curious glances the passers-by were giving him.
He closed his eyes and laid his head on his arms wrapped around his knees. For a while he remained in that position, wanting nothing else but for the earth beneath him to open up and swallow him whole.
Suddenly he felt a shadow creep over him, but he still wouldn't look up.
"Xi Men?" a voice said.
He must be hallucinating. Maybe the sun has gotten to him. Maybe he's losing his mind.
The voice came on again, now with a slight trace of amusement in it. "This scene is vaguely familiar. I think it has happened before. Only...I was the one down there...and you were up here."
This time, he knew he wasn't hallucinating. Slowly he lifted his gaze and there she stood.
Xiao Yo, looking down at him, smiling tearfully.
"What are you doing here?" he heard himself ask in a voice that wasn't his. "Aren't you supposed to be leaving for Canada right now?"
"Something tells me I should stay. With you. Forever. I think it was my heart that said it, I'm not sure." She lifted her shoulders in a small shrug. "You don't mind, do you?"
His eyes slid down and spotted her empty fingers. They flew up to her face. She was smiling even wider now.
"Drew..." he began.
"...wants me to be the happiest woman alive. Now I am making sure his wish comes true. Will you help me?"
Slowly he straightened and moved forward, holding her on the shoulders, as though making sure she is real.
"Am I dreaming?" he whispered.
"Want me to wake you up?" She stood on tiptoes and kissed him on the lips. When he felt the sweetness only she could give him, he deepened the kiss, happiness rushing through him in profusion.
When their lips parted she buried her face in his neck. "Oh, why do I love you so much? You're a cad, you're cold, unfeeling...stoic...and I love you so damn much."
Her tirade was stopped by another swoop of Xi Men's lips on hers and, once again she let herself go freely, basking in his love.
"I love you," he whispered repeatedly, feeling as though he could say those words forever and he would never tire of it.
From afar Drew watched the spectacle unfold before him. But, being the son of a Marine, he dug deep within him for the courage not to cry.
From the driver's seat, Liam turned around and stared at his friend.
"So, that's it, huh? You?re just gonna leave her to that...that guy?"
He turned and smiled at Liam. "That guy is the reason she's alive."
"That guy is the reason she was miserable for the longest time. He is the kind who would do more damage than good to her. He's not worth throwing your happiness away, Drew...He doesn't deserve Raine."
Drew silently looked at his friend, wondering where this hostility for Xi Men was coming from. He said, "In my opinion, nobody deserves her. But he is her one true love. I don't want to take that away from her."
"You're crazy," Liam stated flatly and Drew merely smiled even more.
After throwing Xi Men and Raine another glance, smiling at the sight of the two who were still kissing at the side of the street, oblivious to the cars honking at them. He patted Liam on the shoulder.
"Let's go," he said. "I don't want to miss my flight."
As the car drew away and joined the stream of traffic leading away from where Xi Men and Raine stood, Liam threw one last glance at them, his eyes taking on a dark glint as it settled on Xi Men. Through the mirror he looked at Drew who sat there thoughtfully.
Then they left.
To have her in my arms - like this - seemed unreal...like a scene in one of those countless dreams I've had that were filled with her. Nothing but her.
I have come full circle. We both have.
I pushed her away, and lost her. She came back at a time when I wanted her finally...and she was the one who once again left...
And I still could not believe I have her in my arms, speaking those words I so longed to hear...those words I never thought she'd say to me.
Whatever's up ahead is bound to be a tricky ride, of that much I am sure. How ever world-wise I claim to be, I know I still have much to learn. But I will learn.
With Xiao Yo beside me, I could not go wrong.
To love Xiao Yo - the woman who has filled my every thought, dream, and my very heart - is like breathing. Once it stops, life itself ends. It's a sign of life. My life.
To be held in his arms - so tight - is everything. I felt like I have been on a long trek and finally I have found home, where I truly belonged.
It had been an arduous journey, and a few people along the way have been hurt. The most wonderful persons were shattered, ultimate sacrifices have been made...dare I throw them away and render them fruitless?
To love Xi Men - a man both simple and complex - takes both courage and willpower...traits I had long believed were lost to me forever.
Now I have found those traits again...and that strength I drew from the one person I least expected. Drew.
To let her go was nothing short of ending my very life, but it was the only thing that made sense. Just to see her smile - with no remorse, no regret...no longing - is enough.
I have not been blind; I was merely too bull-headed. I refused to see then.
I am selfish. I am not an angel. I am not a martyr, either. I am a realist.
To love her and to set her free was my ultimate way of showing her how I truly felt.
Do not hate me for loving her and wanting her only to be happy...
Do not hate me for loving her and wanting her...
Do not hate me for loving her...
Do not hate me.
Across town, in the porch at Xi Men's parents' home, the forgotten book fell on the floor and the pages ruffled to the last page.
An endless stream
of loneliness freely spill
through these weary eyes
as I stare 'cross the street
held up by lofty dreams
and soaring hopes
of you finally seeing me...
of you finally hearing...
of you finally feeling...
of you finally being
my beloved
FIN.
Note from Jeffer: And so it ends. Gomenasai, mina-san. This took so long. Thank you for sticking with it. :) Happy New Year, too!
Hopefully I will also upload the sequel to this story (yes, there is one. And with quicker updates, too, because it is already actually finished being written.)
Until then. Mata ne!