This story was inspired by a flash film on megaman-universe, called
'A big black guy named Bass'. I do not own said film, and I do not own X,
Alia, Sigma, Sigma's goons, or poor Axl and Zero(you'll see). The
character's belong to Capcom. happens just before 'Command Mission' starts.
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X had just got promoted. This was bad for Zero on several counts. First, it gave X authority. Second, it gave X bragging rights. Third, it made X his boss. And finally, reason number four was that Signas would give him a 'commanders' vehicle(which included 'pimped out' rims, a stereo the size of Manhattan, and various weapon systems), which was great for picking up girls. The last part was the worst by far.
"I really don't see WHY you bothered to bring me along X. I mean, it's just a date with Alia! It's not like your going to be swarmed by mavericks!"
"Zero, you know that Sigma still hold's a grudge against us. He might try something! Besides, you don't have anything better to do, do you?" X gripped the steering wheel of his new 'commanders' SUV a little harder.
"Actually, I did have something planned!" Zero lied, trying to get out of the job.
"Well, was it more important that your job?" X raised his eyebrows.
"No..." Zero grimaced in defeat. 'I'll get you back for this X. Just you wait.'
X pulled into Alia's drive way, almost running over said woman's cat. "Oops! Sorry about that patches!" The cat hissed at X. "Mou, I think her cat hates me..."
"No, she just doesn't like people trying to get me out of the house." Alia smiled at X, but frowned when she saw Zero in the back. "Uh, to what do I owe the pleasure of Zero's company?"
"He's just here to guard the car." X got out of the car and opened the passenger door for Alia.
"Thank you X. Where are we going for our date?"
"We'll, he's planning on taking you out to 'Strings'. Some fancy Italian restaurant. After that, he's planning on going to a movie of your choice, then going out to watch the sun set on the beach, where he'll probably propose marriage or something."
"Zero! You just ruined all the surprises!" X pouted in the driver's seat, the car door still open. Suddenly, Alia's cat jumped in the car and started using X as a scratching post. This incited mass panic inside of the car.
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After X recovered from the cat incident, the trio drove over to the coast. X and Alia left Zero in the car with the cat.
"Mou." Zero complained. "Oh well, at least I didn't get stuck guarding X's quarters..." (at X's house, Axl sneezed.) Zero pulled out his GBA, and started playing Metroid Fusion. "Well, at least I won't be bored." Zero had no idea how right he was.
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Sigma was not happy. He had been defeated for the 7th time straight! "Yeah. I'd say I'm not happy, ya stupid author guy!"
"Sigma, who are you talking to?" Miscellaneous Maverick 1 asked.
"The author, of course! Now get back to work!" Sigma pointed at a nearby 'Pre-Sigma-boss' maverick.
"Yes sir!" Misc. Maverick 1,598 scurried off to help build the machine.
"Hmm... I need a way to get back at X. He just got promoted. I could use that... Yes... Yes... YES!" Sigma screamed out at last, scaring the daylight our of all the nearby Misc. Mavericks.
"W-What is it sir?" Misc. Maverick 274 asked.
"I have a mission for those of you daring enough to accept it!" Sigma stood and pointed out eight Mavericks. "You eight! Your all promoted to level bosses! Go steal some eggs, and attack X's house with them!"
The entire base sweat dropped.
"What? My new body isn't complete yet, and if we tried to attack right now, we'd just get our faces kicked in again!" Sigma waved his incomplete arms around, throwing a few chips and wires out of them. "Dang it! Someone get over here and fix me! And you eight freaks had better COVER X's house with egg, and see if you can steal his car too!"
"Yes sir!" The eight Mavericks ran off, giggling like girls.
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Axl sat in front of X's house, polishing his guns. "Why did I get pulled into this? So lame!" Axl shot a nearby rock for fun. "Stupid! Stupid- stupid-stupid!" He was about to just leave when an egg smacked him in the head. Egg poured down his face, enraging him. "WHO THE HECK THREW THAT! GET OUT HERE YOU STUPID FREAKS!"
Four Mavericks came out of hiding, all holding egg cartons. "HA! We are Sigma's minions, and we come to egg and Tee-Pee X's house!" They suddenly realized who they were speaking to. "Oh... Crap..."
Axl went berserk, and fired his pistols of at an insane rate. The four Mavericks screamed and ran away. Axl gave chase.
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Zero had left X's car for only a moment to get some Burger King. He pushed open the door and walked inside, only to cover his ear's from the screams.
"IT'S ZERO!" A few of the girls in the restaurant glomped onto Zero.
"Ow. Could you please get your hand out of my face? Hey! Stop that!" Zero stumbled backward, a woman pulling on his hair. "ARRG!" Zero shoved himself into the counter. "I'd like a triple cheese burger, extra large fries, and a large chocolate milkshake to go. OW!" Zero was pulled away from the counter by the fan girls again.
Cries of "Will you have my baby?", "Will you be my boy friend?", and "MARRY ME!" stained Zero's ears. After Zero removed the girls from his person, he paid for his food and made a hasty exit. Upon his return to the car, he sat in the driver's seat, eating his burger and attempting to not drip sauce on the leather seats. His dinner was interrupted by the sound of four masked Reploids approaching the car. Zero raised his eyebrows and got our of the car. He then noticed the fact that they were holding crowbars.
"HEY! GET AWAY FROM THE CAR!" Zero yelled pulling out the Z Saber.
"Who the...?" The four Mavericks prepared for a fight, only to turn and run for their lives when Zero stepped into the light. "RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!" Zero gave chase.
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X and Alia were having a wonderful time at dinner. Everything was perfect. The music, the food, the Mavericks...
'Wait... THE MAVERICKS?!?' X was about to 'pop the question' when Zero and four Mavericks burst through the restaurant doors.
"Get back here you sissies!" Zero yelled, slashing a nearby table in half and killing one of the four. The remaining three were still screaming like pansies. X stood, firing a charge shot at two of them. They had little time to dodge the blast, and were ripped apart (along with the wall and tables behind them). The final one was caught by Zero. "OK! What did you want with X's car?"
"Sigma told us to! Sigma told us to!" Misc. Maverick 100,384,281 screamed. Zero cut him in half.
"Sorry 'bout that X. They tried to steal your car." Zero put away his saber and walked out like nothing happened.
"O... kay... Everything WAS perfect..." X hung his head.
"It's okay X." Alia patted his shoulder. "I understand. Want to go to the movie now?"
X sighed. "Sure." X escorted Alia out of Strings, leaving a $20,000 tip for property damage. 'Commander's pay rocks!'
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End chapter 1. Hope you people laughed. It's meant to be stupid, and has absolutely no meaning.
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X had just got promoted. This was bad for Zero on several counts. First, it gave X authority. Second, it gave X bragging rights. Third, it made X his boss. And finally, reason number four was that Signas would give him a 'commanders' vehicle(which included 'pimped out' rims, a stereo the size of Manhattan, and various weapon systems), which was great for picking up girls. The last part was the worst by far.
"I really don't see WHY you bothered to bring me along X. I mean, it's just a date with Alia! It's not like your going to be swarmed by mavericks!"
"Zero, you know that Sigma still hold's a grudge against us. He might try something! Besides, you don't have anything better to do, do you?" X gripped the steering wheel of his new 'commanders' SUV a little harder.
"Actually, I did have something planned!" Zero lied, trying to get out of the job.
"Well, was it more important that your job?" X raised his eyebrows.
"No..." Zero grimaced in defeat. 'I'll get you back for this X. Just you wait.'
X pulled into Alia's drive way, almost running over said woman's cat. "Oops! Sorry about that patches!" The cat hissed at X. "Mou, I think her cat hates me..."
"No, she just doesn't like people trying to get me out of the house." Alia smiled at X, but frowned when she saw Zero in the back. "Uh, to what do I owe the pleasure of Zero's company?"
"He's just here to guard the car." X got out of the car and opened the passenger door for Alia.
"Thank you X. Where are we going for our date?"
"We'll, he's planning on taking you out to 'Strings'. Some fancy Italian restaurant. After that, he's planning on going to a movie of your choice, then going out to watch the sun set on the beach, where he'll probably propose marriage or something."
"Zero! You just ruined all the surprises!" X pouted in the driver's seat, the car door still open. Suddenly, Alia's cat jumped in the car and started using X as a scratching post. This incited mass panic inside of the car.
------
After X recovered from the cat incident, the trio drove over to the coast. X and Alia left Zero in the car with the cat.
"Mou." Zero complained. "Oh well, at least I didn't get stuck guarding X's quarters..." (at X's house, Axl sneezed.) Zero pulled out his GBA, and started playing Metroid Fusion. "Well, at least I won't be bored." Zero had no idea how right he was.
------
Sigma was not happy. He had been defeated for the 7th time straight! "Yeah. I'd say I'm not happy, ya stupid author guy!"
"Sigma, who are you talking to?" Miscellaneous Maverick 1 asked.
"The author, of course! Now get back to work!" Sigma pointed at a nearby 'Pre-Sigma-boss' maverick.
"Yes sir!" Misc. Maverick 1,598 scurried off to help build the machine.
"Hmm... I need a way to get back at X. He just got promoted. I could use that... Yes... Yes... YES!" Sigma screamed out at last, scaring the daylight our of all the nearby Misc. Mavericks.
"W-What is it sir?" Misc. Maverick 274 asked.
"I have a mission for those of you daring enough to accept it!" Sigma stood and pointed out eight Mavericks. "You eight! Your all promoted to level bosses! Go steal some eggs, and attack X's house with them!"
The entire base sweat dropped.
"What? My new body isn't complete yet, and if we tried to attack right now, we'd just get our faces kicked in again!" Sigma waved his incomplete arms around, throwing a few chips and wires out of them. "Dang it! Someone get over here and fix me! And you eight freaks had better COVER X's house with egg, and see if you can steal his car too!"
"Yes sir!" The eight Mavericks ran off, giggling like girls.
------
Axl sat in front of X's house, polishing his guns. "Why did I get pulled into this? So lame!" Axl shot a nearby rock for fun. "Stupid! Stupid- stupid-stupid!" He was about to just leave when an egg smacked him in the head. Egg poured down his face, enraging him. "WHO THE HECK THREW THAT! GET OUT HERE YOU STUPID FREAKS!"
Four Mavericks came out of hiding, all holding egg cartons. "HA! We are Sigma's minions, and we come to egg and Tee-Pee X's house!" They suddenly realized who they were speaking to. "Oh... Crap..."
Axl went berserk, and fired his pistols of at an insane rate. The four Mavericks screamed and ran away. Axl gave chase.
------
Zero had left X's car for only a moment to get some Burger King. He pushed open the door and walked inside, only to cover his ear's from the screams.
"IT'S ZERO!" A few of the girls in the restaurant glomped onto Zero.
"Ow. Could you please get your hand out of my face? Hey! Stop that!" Zero stumbled backward, a woman pulling on his hair. "ARRG!" Zero shoved himself into the counter. "I'd like a triple cheese burger, extra large fries, and a large chocolate milkshake to go. OW!" Zero was pulled away from the counter by the fan girls again.
Cries of "Will you have my baby?", "Will you be my boy friend?", and "MARRY ME!" stained Zero's ears. After Zero removed the girls from his person, he paid for his food and made a hasty exit. Upon his return to the car, he sat in the driver's seat, eating his burger and attempting to not drip sauce on the leather seats. His dinner was interrupted by the sound of four masked Reploids approaching the car. Zero raised his eyebrows and got our of the car. He then noticed the fact that they were holding crowbars.
"HEY! GET AWAY FROM THE CAR!" Zero yelled pulling out the Z Saber.
"Who the...?" The four Mavericks prepared for a fight, only to turn and run for their lives when Zero stepped into the light. "RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!" Zero gave chase.
------
X and Alia were having a wonderful time at dinner. Everything was perfect. The music, the food, the Mavericks...
'Wait... THE MAVERICKS?!?' X was about to 'pop the question' when Zero and four Mavericks burst through the restaurant doors.
"Get back here you sissies!" Zero yelled, slashing a nearby table in half and killing one of the four. The remaining three were still screaming like pansies. X stood, firing a charge shot at two of them. They had little time to dodge the blast, and were ripped apart (along with the wall and tables behind them). The final one was caught by Zero. "OK! What did you want with X's car?"
"Sigma told us to! Sigma told us to!" Misc. Maverick 100,384,281 screamed. Zero cut him in half.
"Sorry 'bout that X. They tried to steal your car." Zero put away his saber and walked out like nothing happened.
"O... kay... Everything WAS perfect..." X hung his head.
"It's okay X." Alia patted his shoulder. "I understand. Want to go to the movie now?"
X sighed. "Sure." X escorted Alia out of Strings, leaving a $20,000 tip for property damage. 'Commander's pay rocks!'
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End chapter 1. Hope you people laughed. It's meant to be stupid, and has absolutely no meaning.