The Devil's Workshop
MysticShadowWanderer
Disclaimer: You are... my... keeper.
*****
Chapter Twenty Five: To Meet The Dawn
The next few days were uneventful for both Kaoru and Battousai, with Kaoru feeling tired and oftentimes sleeping, and Battousai watching over her and trying not to drive himself insane with worry. At times he would stop to think about how they got to the point that they were at; he'd never expected or wanted to fall in love. His life, he had once assumed, would continue cold and alone until the gods decided to have mercy and finally let him die in a state that at least resembled peace. But here he was now, with a beautiful woman at his side that was bearing his child. Somehow that didn't factor in to the path his life was supposed to have taken. Despite his generally arrogant and over-confident manner, he was terrified of the prospect of raising a child. Could he care for a fragile life like that? At one time he'd thought that Kaoru was such a fragile creature as a child, but she proved him wrong, time and again; if he hadn't come along, she would have been able to fend for herself and survive quite well. But an infant was not as strong as his Kaoru, he would require care and attention, and Battousai didn't know if he could provide that.
What would happen if he trained their child to be a hitokiri? To love the scent and taste of blood? Would that be wrong? Would Kaoru let him? He didn't know. Battousai strode out into the corridor, heading for the top deck. When he got there, he stopped at the railing and leaned heavily against it, watching the water below him slip away into an endless nothingness. Though his expression was blank, his mind was reeling with the possibilities presented by bringing a child into the hell that was considered life. It seemed kinder to kill the babe before it knew what it was to be in the world, but even he could not bring himself to commit such an act of grotesque monstrosity, even the Battousai would not go so far.
If anything, he would greatly envy the child's innocence. Infants were such honest creatures, in a way; he had never possessed anything that resembled their naivety. That was the reason he had always despised children when he interacted with them, though the chance came up very infrequently, but envied and respected them from a distance. The simple unsophisticatedness that was, in essence, a child, offspring of the human race. Then again, what would the child of a semi-mortal even be? He rubbed the bridge of his nose and pressed his fingers to his forehead; this was all far too confusing and complicated to be thinking about for such a long stretch of time. Kaoru would miss him if he was gone too long.
***
The voyage, to Kaoru, promised to elongate until they reached the edge of eternity and then went further. She was quickly developing an intense dislike of the ocean, and sailing at the very least.
'There has to be a faster, less sickening way to cross the sea.' She thought with a grimace as her stomach turned.
Wearily, she let herself fall back down into the mattress and pillows that had become imprinted, perhaps permanently, with her shape from the amount of time that she'd spent in bed. Though she did have to admit the western-style bed was extremely comfortable, it was rather lackluster in the area of finding something to entertain herself with. Still, it would be hard to go back to sleeping on a futon, which somehow dulled in comparison, although she'd always been quite at ease with her slumber arrangements. All at once, she realized that it was unlikely that she would be sleeping on a futon anytime in the near future. Almost having forgotten that their destination was Hawaii, and then possibly further on to the mainland of America, she allowed tears to well up in her eyes. It was still difficult to believe that she had left her homeland, a place so full of memories.
Long ago she'd quit worrying about her dojo. Battousai had dragged her off before she could get anyone to look after it, and though it was a greatly vexing idea that the chances of it being used for some sort of illegal gambling hall or being taken over by the yakuza were exceptionally overwhelming, she'd learned, with time, to ignore the pricking of pain in her heart that she felt when she let herself think of the home she'd left behind, the dojo that her father and she had been so very proud of. She simply had to remind herself that those things were in the past and she had Battousai now; some days it seemed a fair trade although on some occasions she thought that she'd rather have the dojo, student-less though it may have been.
It was almost as if she'd left her entire life behind without ever once looking back. Sometimes she regretted it, but every time she looked at Battousai, she remembered why it was that she didn't shove a blade through her throat and snap her spinal cord.
***
'I don't want to control her, I want to love her.'
It was becoming clear to Battousai that the line between the two was thin and blurring, devotion and mastery were blending into one. He'd been thinking about how many restrictions he'd placed upon her since he'd first met her, prohibiting her from practicing her swordsmanship just one of many things. The swirling, frothing waters below him seemed to agree that he had done no wrong. Everything he'd forced her to do, or not let her do, was for her own protection.
'But she's still been in danger, despite that,' a voice in the back of his head taunted. 'She's still had to kill and use the skills she learned from her father. Just because you made her quit swordsmanship doesn't mean that it isn't natural to her, as is the way with other things. She's strong by herself, and only stronger with you by her side. Let her live a little more loosely.'
But giving up control was a difficult concept for Battousai to grasp, especially with all that had happened in recent days, and he let the thoughts slip away to be remembered at a later time, when his mind wasn't in such turmoil. With a sigh, he shoved away from the railing and walked slowly in the direction of their room, still letting his mind race in contemplation, despite the fact that all he wanted to feel at the moment was numbness.
For someone who had never cared about anyone else but himself, such emotions as he now constantly felt were a bit frightening yet. Love was so demanding upon him; if he were the type to turn to alcohol to solve his problems he would constantly reek of sake. Kaoru herself made all of this easier, it was only too simple to love her completely, but he sometimes didn't know what to make of himself and his life.
Certainly it would get easier; he thought. Life couldn't always be so difficult and hard to comprehend. Pausing in front of the door to their cabin, he wondered briefly what Kaoru was thinking about before he shoved his way inside. Kaoru looked up at him from where she sat on the bed idly flipping through the pages of a book that she'd found buried at the bottom of the clothing she'd hurriedly thrown together so long ago at her dojo. Battousai sat next to her and pulled her into his arms as she began to cry. He held her head to his chest and she clutched his gi, helplessly twisting it in her fingers.
"I know, love," he murmured. "I know you miss your home."
Kaoru coughed and attempted to answer, but couldn't put into words how she felt.
"I promise you that one day we'll come back," he continued. "It's not safe right now, though."
Making a gesture that was somewhere between nodding and shaking her head, Kaoru tried to signify that he didn't completely understand. "Home is... wherever you are," she whispered. "But I just... I don't know..."
Battousai held her closer and kissed the top of her head, overwhelmed by her sentiment. "Thank you, sweetling." She nodded. "Why don't you get some sleep, precious. I think we're going to be disembarking tomorrow morning."
Kaoru wiped her eyes and sniffed once, not answering him vocally but instead choosing to lie down and pull him down with her. He buried his nose in her hair and breathed deeply, helping to calm both of them; him with her scent and her with his closeness.
***
Battousai, as was usual with the two, woke far earlier than Kaoru, with the idea in mind to take a walk on the top deck. Glancing upward, he marveled at the brilliant colors of the breaking dawn for just a moment. The wind whipped at his hair as he leaned over the ship's railing to look out ahead.
'Land... much as I expected. We'll be on solid ground again by mid afternoon.'
He quickly returned to his cabin, opening the door to find Kaoru completely outstretched across the entire bed. Slipping carefully into bed next to her, he simply watched her deep, even breathing as she slept. Even after spending so much time with her, he couldn't help but marvel over how beautiful she looked when she was completely at ease and her body was relaxed. Unable to help himself, he reached out a hand and stroked her cheek tenderly, attempting to pull her out of her dreams and back to him. She sighed quietly and he let his hand drift down, lightly trailing his fingers down the smooth skin of her throat to play with the collar of her yukata.
"Kaoru," he whispered, his lips brushing her ear. "Wake up, lovely."
Her response was to mumble something incoherent and to stretch her body in a way that was unintentionally enticing to Battousai. For a few seconds, he considered the fact that they would have to leave later, but ignored the rational part of his mind that told him she was already tired. Shifting his body over hers, his hands on either side of her face, he pressed soft kisses over her cheeks and eyes, which were slowly opening. A smile curved her lips upward, and she snaked her arms around his back, pulling him tighter to her.
"Battousai," she breathed into his ear. "I love you."
***
"Hurry yourself, love, we're late," Battousai urged.
"Whose fault is that?" Kaoru threw back at him as she quickly pulled on the kimono that Battousai bought her back in Hagi.
Battousai shoved all of her other belongings into her bag as she finished tying her obi, then grabbed their things and, with a hand on her back, gently pushed her out the door. She was too nervous about stepping off a ship in a different country to protest the way he was currently treating her.
Kaoru twisted her hands in front of her as they stood looking out at the island in front of them. It was hard to fathom that not so long ago, she had been alone in her father's dojo in Tokyo, with little hope of carrying on without breaking down inside. Silently, without a sideways glance, Kaoru reached out and took Battousai's hand in hers. He looked down at their joined hands and then up to meet Kaoru's gaze. They stood for a moment that seemed to stretch on forever, and Battousai squeezed her hand reassuringly. On impulse, Kaoru stepped forward and lifted her other hand to the back of Battousai's head to bring his lips down to hers. The kiss was gentle, passionate, filled with the love and fears that they both shared.
"This is America, lovely," Battousai murmured against her lips.
"Whatever happens, Kenshin," Kaoru said softly. "Just know that I'll always be with you. I love you."
Molten gold met mellow sapphire, and without words they understood each other.
*****
A/N: And that is my grand finale. I'm just getting tired of writing this story. BUT FEAR NOT!!! This summer, I hope to start writing the sequel. At the moment, I'm just so swamped with schoolwork, all the ideas for fics that are in my head, the book that I'm writing, and the start of horse show season that I don't have time to continue this fic. Not to mention the fact that I just don't have any inspiration or motivation to write any more of the story. But don't worry, I'm not going to leave you guys hanging with no idea of what happens next. Eventually, I promise I will complete the story. Think of it as a really messed up Star Wars, which took forever to get finished (or... still isn't finished... yeah....
To all my readers and especially my reviewers:
Thank you all so very much! I love you guys! I'm STILL overwhelmed by the fact that I got so many reviews, especially after I deleted this fic and all the reviews and wound up with so many. Hugs and Kenshin-shaped cookies for all of you!
This is Shadow, bidding you all a very fond farewell. Sayonara!
MysticShadowWanderer
Disclaimer: You are... my... keeper.
*****
Chapter Twenty Five: To Meet The Dawn
The next few days were uneventful for both Kaoru and Battousai, with Kaoru feeling tired and oftentimes sleeping, and Battousai watching over her and trying not to drive himself insane with worry. At times he would stop to think about how they got to the point that they were at; he'd never expected or wanted to fall in love. His life, he had once assumed, would continue cold and alone until the gods decided to have mercy and finally let him die in a state that at least resembled peace. But here he was now, with a beautiful woman at his side that was bearing his child. Somehow that didn't factor in to the path his life was supposed to have taken. Despite his generally arrogant and over-confident manner, he was terrified of the prospect of raising a child. Could he care for a fragile life like that? At one time he'd thought that Kaoru was such a fragile creature as a child, but she proved him wrong, time and again; if he hadn't come along, she would have been able to fend for herself and survive quite well. But an infant was not as strong as his Kaoru, he would require care and attention, and Battousai didn't know if he could provide that.
What would happen if he trained their child to be a hitokiri? To love the scent and taste of blood? Would that be wrong? Would Kaoru let him? He didn't know. Battousai strode out into the corridor, heading for the top deck. When he got there, he stopped at the railing and leaned heavily against it, watching the water below him slip away into an endless nothingness. Though his expression was blank, his mind was reeling with the possibilities presented by bringing a child into the hell that was considered life. It seemed kinder to kill the babe before it knew what it was to be in the world, but even he could not bring himself to commit such an act of grotesque monstrosity, even the Battousai would not go so far.
If anything, he would greatly envy the child's innocence. Infants were such honest creatures, in a way; he had never possessed anything that resembled their naivety. That was the reason he had always despised children when he interacted with them, though the chance came up very infrequently, but envied and respected them from a distance. The simple unsophisticatedness that was, in essence, a child, offspring of the human race. Then again, what would the child of a semi-mortal even be? He rubbed the bridge of his nose and pressed his fingers to his forehead; this was all far too confusing and complicated to be thinking about for such a long stretch of time. Kaoru would miss him if he was gone too long.
***
The voyage, to Kaoru, promised to elongate until they reached the edge of eternity and then went further. She was quickly developing an intense dislike of the ocean, and sailing at the very least.
'There has to be a faster, less sickening way to cross the sea.' She thought with a grimace as her stomach turned.
Wearily, she let herself fall back down into the mattress and pillows that had become imprinted, perhaps permanently, with her shape from the amount of time that she'd spent in bed. Though she did have to admit the western-style bed was extremely comfortable, it was rather lackluster in the area of finding something to entertain herself with. Still, it would be hard to go back to sleeping on a futon, which somehow dulled in comparison, although she'd always been quite at ease with her slumber arrangements. All at once, she realized that it was unlikely that she would be sleeping on a futon anytime in the near future. Almost having forgotten that their destination was Hawaii, and then possibly further on to the mainland of America, she allowed tears to well up in her eyes. It was still difficult to believe that she had left her homeland, a place so full of memories.
Long ago she'd quit worrying about her dojo. Battousai had dragged her off before she could get anyone to look after it, and though it was a greatly vexing idea that the chances of it being used for some sort of illegal gambling hall or being taken over by the yakuza were exceptionally overwhelming, she'd learned, with time, to ignore the pricking of pain in her heart that she felt when she let herself think of the home she'd left behind, the dojo that her father and she had been so very proud of. She simply had to remind herself that those things were in the past and she had Battousai now; some days it seemed a fair trade although on some occasions she thought that she'd rather have the dojo, student-less though it may have been.
It was almost as if she'd left her entire life behind without ever once looking back. Sometimes she regretted it, but every time she looked at Battousai, she remembered why it was that she didn't shove a blade through her throat and snap her spinal cord.
***
'I don't want to control her, I want to love her.'
It was becoming clear to Battousai that the line between the two was thin and blurring, devotion and mastery were blending into one. He'd been thinking about how many restrictions he'd placed upon her since he'd first met her, prohibiting her from practicing her swordsmanship just one of many things. The swirling, frothing waters below him seemed to agree that he had done no wrong. Everything he'd forced her to do, or not let her do, was for her own protection.
'But she's still been in danger, despite that,' a voice in the back of his head taunted. 'She's still had to kill and use the skills she learned from her father. Just because you made her quit swordsmanship doesn't mean that it isn't natural to her, as is the way with other things. She's strong by herself, and only stronger with you by her side. Let her live a little more loosely.'
But giving up control was a difficult concept for Battousai to grasp, especially with all that had happened in recent days, and he let the thoughts slip away to be remembered at a later time, when his mind wasn't in such turmoil. With a sigh, he shoved away from the railing and walked slowly in the direction of their room, still letting his mind race in contemplation, despite the fact that all he wanted to feel at the moment was numbness.
For someone who had never cared about anyone else but himself, such emotions as he now constantly felt were a bit frightening yet. Love was so demanding upon him; if he were the type to turn to alcohol to solve his problems he would constantly reek of sake. Kaoru herself made all of this easier, it was only too simple to love her completely, but he sometimes didn't know what to make of himself and his life.
Certainly it would get easier; he thought. Life couldn't always be so difficult and hard to comprehend. Pausing in front of the door to their cabin, he wondered briefly what Kaoru was thinking about before he shoved his way inside. Kaoru looked up at him from where she sat on the bed idly flipping through the pages of a book that she'd found buried at the bottom of the clothing she'd hurriedly thrown together so long ago at her dojo. Battousai sat next to her and pulled her into his arms as she began to cry. He held her head to his chest and she clutched his gi, helplessly twisting it in her fingers.
"I know, love," he murmured. "I know you miss your home."
Kaoru coughed and attempted to answer, but couldn't put into words how she felt.
"I promise you that one day we'll come back," he continued. "It's not safe right now, though."
Making a gesture that was somewhere between nodding and shaking her head, Kaoru tried to signify that he didn't completely understand. "Home is... wherever you are," she whispered. "But I just... I don't know..."
Battousai held her closer and kissed the top of her head, overwhelmed by her sentiment. "Thank you, sweetling." She nodded. "Why don't you get some sleep, precious. I think we're going to be disembarking tomorrow morning."
Kaoru wiped her eyes and sniffed once, not answering him vocally but instead choosing to lie down and pull him down with her. He buried his nose in her hair and breathed deeply, helping to calm both of them; him with her scent and her with his closeness.
***
Battousai, as was usual with the two, woke far earlier than Kaoru, with the idea in mind to take a walk on the top deck. Glancing upward, he marveled at the brilliant colors of the breaking dawn for just a moment. The wind whipped at his hair as he leaned over the ship's railing to look out ahead.
'Land... much as I expected. We'll be on solid ground again by mid afternoon.'
He quickly returned to his cabin, opening the door to find Kaoru completely outstretched across the entire bed. Slipping carefully into bed next to her, he simply watched her deep, even breathing as she slept. Even after spending so much time with her, he couldn't help but marvel over how beautiful she looked when she was completely at ease and her body was relaxed. Unable to help himself, he reached out a hand and stroked her cheek tenderly, attempting to pull her out of her dreams and back to him. She sighed quietly and he let his hand drift down, lightly trailing his fingers down the smooth skin of her throat to play with the collar of her yukata.
"Kaoru," he whispered, his lips brushing her ear. "Wake up, lovely."
Her response was to mumble something incoherent and to stretch her body in a way that was unintentionally enticing to Battousai. For a few seconds, he considered the fact that they would have to leave later, but ignored the rational part of his mind that told him she was already tired. Shifting his body over hers, his hands on either side of her face, he pressed soft kisses over her cheeks and eyes, which were slowly opening. A smile curved her lips upward, and she snaked her arms around his back, pulling him tighter to her.
"Battousai," she breathed into his ear. "I love you."
***
"Hurry yourself, love, we're late," Battousai urged.
"Whose fault is that?" Kaoru threw back at him as she quickly pulled on the kimono that Battousai bought her back in Hagi.
Battousai shoved all of her other belongings into her bag as she finished tying her obi, then grabbed their things and, with a hand on her back, gently pushed her out the door. She was too nervous about stepping off a ship in a different country to protest the way he was currently treating her.
Kaoru twisted her hands in front of her as they stood looking out at the island in front of them. It was hard to fathom that not so long ago, she had been alone in her father's dojo in Tokyo, with little hope of carrying on without breaking down inside. Silently, without a sideways glance, Kaoru reached out and took Battousai's hand in hers. He looked down at their joined hands and then up to meet Kaoru's gaze. They stood for a moment that seemed to stretch on forever, and Battousai squeezed her hand reassuringly. On impulse, Kaoru stepped forward and lifted her other hand to the back of Battousai's head to bring his lips down to hers. The kiss was gentle, passionate, filled with the love and fears that they both shared.
"This is America, lovely," Battousai murmured against her lips.
"Whatever happens, Kenshin," Kaoru said softly. "Just know that I'll always be with you. I love you."
Molten gold met mellow sapphire, and without words they understood each other.
*****
A/N: And that is my grand finale. I'm just getting tired of writing this story. BUT FEAR NOT!!! This summer, I hope to start writing the sequel. At the moment, I'm just so swamped with schoolwork, all the ideas for fics that are in my head, the book that I'm writing, and the start of horse show season that I don't have time to continue this fic. Not to mention the fact that I just don't have any inspiration or motivation to write any more of the story. But don't worry, I'm not going to leave you guys hanging with no idea of what happens next. Eventually, I promise I will complete the story. Think of it as a really messed up Star Wars, which took forever to get finished (or... still isn't finished... yeah....
To all my readers and especially my reviewers:
Thank you all so very much! I love you guys! I'm STILL overwhelmed by the fact that I got so many reviews, especially after I deleted this fic and all the reviews and wound up with so many. Hugs and Kenshin-shaped cookies for all of you!
This is Shadow, bidding you all a very fond farewell. Sayonara!