Rhapsody

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Thanks to a bunch of wonderful readers and reviewers, here's the sequel to Wrestling Emotions.

In my opinion, this chapter's almost sickeningly sweet. You've been warned…

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Merriam-Webster Online

Main Entry: rhap·so·dy
Pronunciation: 'rap-s&-dE
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -dies
Etymology: Latin rhapsodia, from Greek rhapsOidia recitation of selections from epic poetry, rhapsody, from rhapsOidos rhapsodist, from rhaptein to sew, stitch together + aidein to sing -- more at ODE
1 : a portion of an epic poem adapted for recitation
2 archaic : a miscellaneous collection
3 a (1) : a highly emotional utterance (2) : a highly emotional literary work (3) : effusively rapturous or extravagant discourse b : RAPTURE, ECSTASY
4 : a musical composition of irregular form having an improvisatory character

Chapter 1: Unbelievable

Sydney wasn't sure what she had expected. A flash of anger, a hint of regret, fear, sadness; confusion, perhaps, uncertainty wrinkling his forehead, flitting through his eyes and over his features, invading her own until they were both so far wrapped up in it that it would be nearly impossible to escape with their lives.

She had thought for certain that he would have been stunned to silence, shocked to stillness; too upset, too disappointed for immediate words or actions. She could hear the words she had expected to froth from his mouth and flood the air, snarling hopelessly in her ears, painfully bruising her heart.

Caustic questions, stinging statements, agonizing accusations…

What? How? When? Didn't we…? Aren't you on…? How could you have…? I can't believe you could…

But this was anything but what she had anticipated, the complete opposite of what she would have expected from anyone… anyone else, forgetting that he wasn't anyone else, that he wouldn't react the same way.

Because he was different.

He was Vaughn…

Kissing her with such rabid desperation that he stole the breath from her completely, victoriously naming himself its sole possessor, refusing to relinquish his hold. What would have been a nearly frightening display of pent-up passion and desire had it been anyone but him contrasted deliciously with the delicate, whispering caresses of his fingers lightly dancing along the skin of her stomach. The vibrant mosaic of colliding sensations that even such simple signs of affection brought forth was so intense that it was nearly enough in itself to hurtle her into oblivion.

Vaughn seemed on a mission to breathe the life from her lungs and stir her heart, bombarding her senses in order to make her forget everything else. It was as if he were out to prove something, even though he didn't have to, hadn't ever had to, not even that very first time.

Whether they were in the confines of a cramped closet, walking hand in hand on the streets of LA, or out underneath the twinkling expanse of the night sky… no matter where they were or what they were doing, something would wash over them, rain down upon them. Something so burning, so sweet, so brimming with raw emotion that it almost didn't seem right to merely call it love… but no other word existed that could describe it even half as adequately as that not quite prefect one did.

This feeling, whatever it was that had swathed itself around them and bound one to the other, fell now from the ceiling in drizzling droplets, so softly, so gently, that neither of them felt it. Neither needed to feel it to know that it was there, couldn't have imagined being together feeling any differently, any other way than it did at that very moment.

Existing solely for each other, in the here and now. Everything else evanescing, fading swiftly from their universe and melting away, lying in wait somewhere far off for a time when it could all return. Almost everything else, that is. Because there was one distraction that was persistent, that was able to worm its way back into being despite how they yearned to push it away; burning its way into their chests, adding to the lightheadedness and the pounding of their hearts.

The ability to hold one's breath for an interminable amount of time may seem a superfluous or silly wish to those not in fear of drowning, by water, passion or any other means, but neither Sydney nor Vaughn had ever wished for anything more desperately than they did for that in those few, too short moments.

Sydney gasped when he pulled away, frantically sucking in the oxygen of which she had been more than willing to let his lips deprive her. The slight fraction of space that wedged itself between their faces was barely enough to let the air in; her sudden, deep breaths causing her to shudder as she desperately gulped at the air, her lips quivering, brushing unintentionally against his.

Concern etched its familiar carvings into his forehead, eyes glistening with something resembling fear but not in the way she had expected them to. He seemed almost nervous about what he had done to her, immediately remorseful, more afraid than ever of breaking her, putting her in any position that might cause pain.

One of his hands was still resting against the smooth skin of her stomach, its fingers brushing softly back and forth in a sweet, almost apologetic caress. His other came up to frame her face, his thumb running tenderly against the edge of her bottom lip as she sighed into him.

"Sorry," Vaughn mumbled breathlessly, almost shyly, his lips trembling against hers as he spoke, guilt dripping madly from his words, flooding what little space there was between them.

But she tore that solitary word from his lips with abandon, pressing her own back against them, unable to remain apart from him for a moment longer. It was more than was needed to serve as her response; told him that it was okay, that he was welcome to steal the breath from her whenever he wished, that he hadn't hurt her but it wouldn't have mattered if he had… that she trusted him, that she loved him, that she felt fifteen again, too…

It was remarkable how such a small gesture could mean so much, how so many words could be conveyed in a single action, a solitary second. It never failed to blow his mind, no matter how many times this seemingly miraculous trick was performed, when her lips stole his and told him so much more than she was capable of giving voice to.

When they drew back this time, both were sufficiently out of breath, pausing for a moment to see if it could catch up with them, her forehead resting against his to keep her upright, to prevent her from melting into his arms.

"God… Syd…"

Vaughn's chest was still heaving as he spoke, the words barely able to fight their way through his panting breaths. He could just make out the glimmer of fear that had returned to her eyes, barely visible in the darkness, but to him it seemed glaringly out of place.

Sydney was the first to recover, the first to murmur something that resembled a full sentence, a complete thought. "I'm sorry, Vaughn… I…"

She wanted to tell him that she hadn't meant for it to happen, definitely hadn't planned it. That she hadn't tried to forget her birth control on that one long mission in Düsseldorf seven weeks ago, that she should have known better than to let his seduction tactics work during the seemingly interminable waits and plane trips, should have warned him that…

"Sydney."

Her full name from his lips, and she felt like a little girl whose mother had discovered her sneaking into the cookie jar; crumbs all over her face, chocolate smeared across the front of her once clean dress. Wrong, all wrong. And in such big trouble. She was supposed to have waited until after dinner, waited until…

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he continued softly, stealing her typically habitual gesture for a moment and tucking a stray lock of hair back in place behind her ear.

His words soothed her, not so much with their collective meaning as the soft tone they were spoken in, the way they trickled from his lips in a jumble of commanding tenderness that somehow couldn't be any more right.

Anything he could have uttered in that tone of voice would have been enough to warm her, no matter what his words were. Yet, even this perfectly chosen phrase was not enough to kill off the doubt, to burn away the anxiety and sterilize her of it completely.

"But Vaughn, this changes everything. You, me… the CIA…"

"Sydney, listen to me."

He took his hands off her as he said it, the loss of contact nearly painful until he placed one on the back of her head and the other against her shoulder, pushing her gently back onto the bed. And it was oh so hard to do nothing more than listen to him when his face was so close to hers, his body draped over her own but not completely, insanely careful of her stomach and the little life growing within it.

But she did listen. Didn't have any other choice when his voice somehow transformed into an intoxicating blend of sugar and honey, sweetness and life, a hypnotic chant and the most soothing lullaby, a tender ballad and a whispered prayer…

"Syd…" His lips brushed against her forehead and peppered kisses on her face, resting for a moment on the tip of her nose before he pulled back and gazed into her eyes. "Screw the CIA… We've done it before and we'll do it again." The words were punctuated with an ironic smile, but the laughter soon left his eyes. "This is more important. You're more important."

"But Vaughn…"

His eyes had adjusted just enough to the darkness, his heart was so attuned to her own, that even with his own shadow falling over her, he could tell that the fear had not quite left her eyes, was slinking somewhere within their dark depths, hoping to escape further into them without being found.

She was right, of course; at least partly. This was going to change something; it had to. And it was frightening. A curveball thrown to the two of them that was so different than anything they had had to deal with before. So wildly, crazily normal that it was almost too much to deal with.

What they had had with Ilya had been far from normal, at least in the beginning. Not once had one of those perfect television families Vaughn used to watch as a kid brought home a child that had survived a Russian massacre and babysat it as part of their job for the CIA…

And then, just as it had started to approach something resembling normalcy, just as the child had begun to feel like their own, he had been taken away, soon to be nothing more than a fleeting memory in the ever-changing tumult that was their lives.

It was strange how something so seemingly normal could throw them so completely off balance. There was so much room for error, much more so than on any mission, any assignment. Nuclear weapons and secret codes were child's play. But they would soon have a whole kid's life that could be screwed up if they made so much as one wrong move.

She had every right, every reason to be scared, but…

"Some things will change, Syd," he murmured, his lips just far enough away from her own so that he could look clearly into her eyes. "But I love you. Nothing's ever going to change that."

"Vaughn…"

"Don't…" he interjected, quickly cutting her off before pausing, eyes locking on hers. He had been expecting her to protest, to need more than his words to be convinced, knew better than anyone how stubborn she could be. But she had murmured his name so softly, so innocently that… "Syd, baby?"

His hand had returned to her stomach, his fingers inching under her shirt and stroking a soft, tickling pattern. She smiled faintly at him, bringing her hands up to run them through his hair.

"Thank you." I love you, too…

Vaughn didn't tell her not to thank him, not this time. He heard the four words that echoed in its wake, knew she needed as much reassurance as she could get, that this could be a difficult time for both of them. No matter how many truths he fed her tonight, how many sticky-sweet not-quite-lies-but-not-quite-truths he provided on any other day, both of them knew that to say the CIA was not going to be pleased with their newfound information was a bit of an understatement.

So instead, he planted a quick kiss against her lips, inching his way down to her stomach in a gesture that meant more to both of them than an infinite amount of the sweetest words ever could have. Tenderly lifting her shirt, he sprinkled a whispering ring of kisses around her belly button, his murmured, "Unbelievable," trembling against her skin.

"Mmm," she agreed softly, a sigh escaping where words should have been, allowed because they had already talked so much that night, because the confusion, contentment and anxiety that had tangled itself around that one breath of air spoke more to him than her words could have.

She had softened, but had yet to be completely convinced. Strange because it was something she had subconsciously been dreaming of for weeks, even more so the past few days, letting her mind wander through the fanciful gates of What It Would Be Like to Have Children of Their Own. But she had only had the courage to wiggle her toes a few inches within that dreamlike meadow before retreating back to stark reality; it had still seemed more a fantasy than anything else, a pink candy cloud that would eventually float through the air and join all other lost dreams in the hidden depths of the sky.

Silence enveloped the two of them in its comfortable embrace, and she took a few seconds to gaze into his face, his expression one that she had only seen a few times before. Lighting up his eyes the moment after he had first kissed her; when she had answered his mumbled Are you sure…? by searing her lips onto his, pulling desperately at his arms and yanking him into the closet; when he had taken her hand and led her into his apartment for the first time, the rest of the house waiting until they had thoroughly examined the bedroom…

She had memorized it, savored it each and every time and here it was again. It had been dancing in his eyes for awhile, since the second she had told him; but she had been blind to it, just now able to open her eyes and finally see the joy and almost childlike wonder that had grabbed hold of his features, refusing to let them go.

And as if his face alone wouldn't have been enough… His voice was a dream floating to her on the wings of truth, fluttering in that small space between his lips and her ears and singing softly into them.

"We're going to have a baby."

There was that breathtaking, heart-stealing, blindingly gorgeous smile; the only action that could truly make her understand the emotion behind his words without bringing a screeching, if desirable, end to their conversation. Michael Vaughn had been taken captive by wonderment, given himself up freely, didn't know how long it was going to take him to break free into belief, reality, and didn't care if it took forever.

Six months ago, he would have never thought it could have been possible… Okay, possible was probably (no, definitely) the wrong word. He couldn't remember how many times he had almost initiated activity that could have had the very same end result, thrown her up against the chain-link fence, a storage crate, that metal chair, and…

A baby… One of their very own, that they didn't ever have to give up, give back, that could never be taken away. A child that could be cared for by both of them, grow up with its mother and father, shown to the world.

He tilted his face up to intercept her gaze once again, making sure she understood his words full well, that there could be no mistaking how he felt about all of this; that in a world brimming with uncertainty, it could be the one thing she would never have to fear or doubt.

"Amazing, Syd… This. You… You're amazing."

Just the right amount of emphasis placed on that one word. Both of them remembered the exchange that had taken place before they had gotten together, well over a year ago; both of them noticed the switch. The words were the same, but this time he didn't have to hide the fact that he really and truly meant them for her, didn't even have to try to play the game, to remember the rules.

They were equally aware of it; both caught the difference, one that might have seemed so slight, but in truth meant the world. Vaughn's voice was a little softer than it had been that day by the flower stand, a little more stress placed on that first syllable; just the way he would have whispered it back then if…

"I am not amazing."

But her response was the same. The sentence coming just as quickly after his, in the exact same order. Except this time, instead of drifting through a hint of a smile as she tried to hide her pleasure at his implied compliment, the words fell from her lips and scattered before them, crumbling like the blocks of a four-year-old's tower, threatening to shatter the whole of their carefully constructed fantasy world in its aftershocks.

"Syd…"

Vaughn raised his upper body, propping himself up on his elbows, looking into her eyes in an effort to wash them clean of all doubt, fight away any leftover fear. His lips parted as he searched for the words, grasping at any letters that might be able to form them.

I love you.

He wanted to tell her everything, to show her how wonderful, how truly unbelievable this was, let her know that there couldn't be anything better that could happen to two people who were so much in love, who wanted to spend the rest of their lives together.

I love you.

He wanted to tell her not to be afraid, to reassure her as no one else could, but somehow he lost the words. The reins of speech flew from his grasp, most of the letters of the alphabet slinking out of his reach and hiding in the shadows, only five stepping forward, nearly tripping over themselves in their effort to leap to his tongue and…

"Marry me."

Flying out of his mouth before he had a chance to think, to stop it, not sure if he would have wanted to, would have even tried to prevent its exit. Straight from the beating of his heart to the vibrations of his voice without any interjections from reason, seeming to startle them both with its quick confidence and tender intensity.

A plea, not a question. Nearing a command, while still lingering on the edge of a request. His tone so soft and gentle, still so afraid that she would reject him, that this all had been a mistake, the biggest one he would or could ever make in his entire life.

But Vaughn didn't regret the words. Not even during that tenuous, tedious split second after they had been spoken, when the silence was thick and heavy, nearly blocking her from his line of vision. Nearly, but not quite, because he could see her eyes screaming to him in answer, the yes so loud that he could feel it rumbling through his soul, that its echo nearly burned into his ears. But snagged on the way to her lips, intercepted by reason, twisted by thought, pummeled by uncertainty and…

"Really?"

A question that seemed so absurd that there was a part of him that almost wanted to laugh, to shake her, to pick her up and take her from whatever nightmare had grabbed hold of her, carrying her with him into his living dream.

"Yes, really…" Of course, really… Come on, Syd, don't you know only truth can be spoken in the dark?

In all honesty, he didn't know if he could ever survive without her, would certainly drown in sorrow, lose himself to despair; could never find anyone else he could ever love and cherish and respect as much as he did her. He had to bite his tongue to stop the strangled please? that threatened to jump from it, didn't want to beg, to force her into a decision she didn't want to make…

"And not just because of the baby," he added, shifting his weight and grabbing her hand as it slipped instinctively towards her stomach, interweaving her fingers with his own and pressing his lips against her knuckles before continuing, wishing he could pretend to possess even a thread of control when he was around her, that he could somehow make this better, more romantic, more…

"Syd… Ever since I kissed you, ever since I met you, I've been waiting for the perfect moment... But every second I spend with you is more than perfect and I'm tired of waiting. I know I don't have the ring yet, and we don't have to do it now or even soon… I just want (need) to know if (that)…"

"Yes."

The word had barely left her mouth when he sought out her lips again, unable to get enough of them now that they were finally together, alone, that she was his forever. He was drawn to them, to her, as if she had bewitched him, put him under her spell. And he wouldn't have cared if she had; if this was a spell, he hoped it was one that would never break.

"You don't know how many times I've been dying to ask you that," he breathed into her ear, breaking from her lips to nibble gently on her neck. She could feel him smile against her skin, laughing at the memory of his fever-induced delirium. "Well…"

"You know…" Sydney interrupted, bringing her hands up to pull his face in front of hers the split second before his tongue reached the spot just below her ear, the place they both knew would drive her completely mad with want and pulverize any hope of continuing coherent conversation.

She found his eyes searching hers, burning into them once he was satisfied that even the smallest specks of fear had disappeared. It was enough to nearly drown her in the urge to pull him back to her again, almost made her forget what she had been about to say.

"I wanted to say yes that night, even though I knew it wasn't…"

Vaughn's lips silenced hers, diving back in for another taste of the syrupy sweetness he was so insanely addicted to, a drug so powerful that it should have been declared illegal, that he would have continued to use even if it had been.

"It's real now, Syd."

But still so much like a dream. A fairy tale sprung to life and presented in vivid color, people taking over for the puppets, every sense heightened, every feeling magnified a thousand times until they were so colossal that she thought the sheer weight would crush them both.

Was it possible for something to be both real and imaginary at the same time? Had her life somehow gained the ability to delve into the world of fantasy and still manage to be better than any dream, any thought she had ever had?

She had known before that it was real. It had hit her with a sickening slap the moment she had dared to open her eyes and steal a quick glimpse at the results of the store-bought pregnancy test. The split second after the sudden, strange elation had left her and she realized that it probably wasn't such a good thing, that it shouldn't be happening…

But this was the first time that it really sunk in. His words drawing it deeper and deeper beneath her skin, through the thousands of pathways her veins provided, plunging into her heart and pumping back out again, never changing. The intensity of feeling so overwhelming that she just barely saw Vaughn's dimpled smile making its stunning entrance as he watched her, felt his breathing grow shallow as the air tangled in his lungs, knew that he couldn't believe it either.

This was real…

Her stomach swelling with the child she carried… their child.

That look on Vaughn's face again, the one that spoke truly of love and amazement, when they first heard the heartbeat, saw the ultrasound…The way he was so overcome with emotion that he nearly cried right in the middle of the doctor's office. She saw the tears glistening in his eyes, but didn't say anything; they were a reflection of her own…

His eyes lighting up when they felt their baby kick that very first time, still retaining their glow all the times after. It never failed to astound him, never failed to bring that look into his eyes, to stop him from whatever he was doing, render him speechless…

The way he continued to worship her as no one else ever had, rubbing her back through morning sickness, holding open doors, making dinner, cleaning the apartment, doing the grocery shopping, continuing to show her each and every day how much he loved her, how absolutely normal this was, how perfect…

A living dream that had sprung from a living nightmare, from her life with SD-6… or the life she had been denied because of it. But now it wasn't dress-up or pretend or even part of her job. It wasn't something they would have to give back, give up when a week was through, something that would be fake, a lie.

It was life. It was real. It was theirs. It was…

"Vaughn…" she began, his last name falling from her lips by force of habit, because she was still used to it, it still seemed so right. But he needed to hear something else from her tonight; she knew it and provided it willingly. "Michael… we're going to have a baby…" We're getting married…

The incredulity and amazement was in her voice now; her smile genuine, all the fear melted away with the sweet caresses of Vaughn's lips and hands, the gentle words he had spoken, and the bright prospect of life, a normal life, that lay before her.

He nodded and smiled, beyond words at this point, couldn't put together a single coherent thought aside from the fact that even by laying next to her, nearly on top of her, it felt too far away; that he wanted nothing more at that moment than to…

Neither of them got much sleep that night, spending the hours memorizing each others' bodies once again, making sure that even though everything had changed, some things hadn't, that they were still the same. Each needing the other more than anything, never able to get enough; having to remind themselves of tastes, sights, scents, smells and sensations minute after minute, hour after hour until they both nearly passed out from fatigue. They drifted off to sleep practically on top of each other, not bothering to move, get dressed, or do much more than pull a sheet over their exhausted bodies as the sun threatened to infringe upon their sweet darkness.

It was a sleep so deliciously satisfying that not a single dream dared to trespass within its borders. Jealous of how real life had taken a sudden turn into their realm and frightened of the competition it forced upon them, all dreams decided to leave the two slumbering agents to their rest until they could come up with something better and once again give reality a run for its money, not realizing that they would have to wait well beyond daylight until that would happen…

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My apologies for any sickness or cavities that resulted from reading this chapter.

If you do want more, there should eventually be a plot, there a just a few things that have to be taken care of first…

Please tell me what you thought, and let me know if I should quit while I'm ahead. We could always write this off as a late epilogue…

Thanks for reading! :D