Title: Deeper Into the Light

Author: sbender333 (sbender333yahoo.com)

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Leo disengages himself from the Elders. Chris opens up to his aunts. Leo and Piper bond over their two sons. Chris finally cracks and opens up to his father. Piper plans to go off to MagicSchool until the birth of their child.

Spoilers: "SpinCity"

Author's Note: Alright, this one ties up the SpinCity scenes. The next one will around Witch Wars, more or less. And this chapter itself contains yet another flashback. I really like exploring Chris' past. Maybe, I'll add one layered into each chapter of the current time. Oh and thanks to ChrisOriented for inspiring the flashback. Check out the poem called "Fireflies at Night." And, the minute-long review: Haha, well that was meant more of as an "It won't take but a minute" but that's even better. Thank you all for the feedback and encouragement, and please continue to review. Remember, feedback is an author's inspiration. And it only takes a minute of your time.

With solely the dim light of the refrigerator offering him a source of sight in the darkness of the kitchen, Chris stood at the counter making himself a sandwich. He slowly sliced a piece of bread off the loaf.

As his knife hit the cutting board, finishing the cutting of the slice, Chris saw orbs appear without looking up. Knowing it could only be one person, he sighed. He'd have to deal with this sooner than he had hoped.

"Hey," Leo greeted.

"Hey," Chris replied. Great—Leo he thought they were good terms now. 'Well why wouldn't he?' a voice in Chris' head challenged. 'You cried on his shoulder!' Chris internally cringed in disgust at showing that kind of emotion at his father. His purpose here was to protect Wyatt. He reminded himself of this, once again.

"So…can't sleep?" Leo prodded.

Chris shook his head in response and sliced the second piece.

"Like father, like son," Leo considered.

Looking up abruptly, Chris questioned, "What?"

"Well, I tend to get a midnight snack if I have trouble sleeping."

Chris turned back to his sandwich and opened a jar of mayonnaise. He glanced around for a knife, and then realized Leo was holding it out to him.

Reaching for it, Chris muttered, "Thanks." He turned back to the sliced bread and slated mayo onto the sandwich. Through the corner of his eye, he could see his father studying him, waiting for some sort of comment. The silent treatment worked when he was a kid, and maybe it'd work now.

"Chris, what's wrong?" Leo asked, concerned.

Chris laid several slices of turkey on the bread.

"Come on, Chris. I thought we made a little headway last night. You can talk to me."

"No I can't! Okay?" Chris said frustrated, slamming pieces of the holey Swiss cheese on top of the turkey. "Look I'm only here to protect Wyatt. That's my purpose, my goal."

"But what about Piper!" Leo said in indignation. He didn't mean it as if he was competing against Chris' mother, but he just wanted to understand.

"That's different. It's so much easier…She's my mom," Chris replied, thinking about life without her the last eight years of his life.

"But I'm your dad…" Leo questioned quietly.

"No, you…" Chris started, but then looked down. God, this was so much harder then he had imagined. The man in front of him was trying, desperately trying to connect with his son. And one part of him wanted to soak in this attention and love, but his other side was suppressing him. It was too painful to deal with the past, and he would be hurt by this man again…. But, knowing Leo wasn't going to relent, Chris decided, looking him in the eye, that he had to give him some sort of reason.

"Look, I know you aren't the same person as my fath-" he began but then adamantly edited that to, "the Leo, of my time. You feel hurt that I'm not opening up or whatever-" his voice turned more somber as he continued, "but I can't just forget what happened to me in the past. Be a father to Wyatt and the Chris of your time." At this he slammed the final piece of bread onto his sandwhich and orbed out.

Sitting on the Golden Gate Bridge overlooking the city, he sighed in memory of his past life. Why did his plans always go awry? He really should have thought things through. But that was Bianca's job, and she was gone now. He closed his eyes at the pain he felt. That's what his entire life was: pain…but he was here to change that, wasn't he? Yes, but all he was here to change was Wyatt, nothing else.

Why was he sitting here and wallowing in his self pity? Because his happiest memory was riddled with such sorrow of an opportunity lost...

"Piper? Where are you guys." Leo asked, his head turning as he took a quick survey of the rooms.

"Daddy!" Leo heard the excited squeal of his six-year-old from the backyard, answering his question. "We're here. Come quick. We're catching fireflies!" Leo smiled at the eagerness, remembering his own childhood innocence of watching fireflies by night. He quickened his steps at his son's request but couldn't fail to notice the serenity that had blanket Halliwell Manor.

Upon reaching the kitchen a strong smell of grill smoke hit his nose, and as he walked on he saw the late-twilight sky through the open door.

Catching sight of Leo, his son opened his cupped hands, releasing a firefly into the air. It lit up as it rose higher into the sky, indicating the hundreds of others that were luminously blinking on and off against the evening sky.

"Daddy! I'm so glad you're home." The pattering of footsteps clued him into his son dashing toward him. He knelt down on the patio in time to catch his son, who collided into his chest and buried his head onto his father's shoulder. Leo embraced his son, as he breathed in his boyish scent, and kissed his head, trying to counteract the length of time he had been gone.

After separating, Leo looked in the green eyes, filled with such hope and delight at seeing his father finally home, compelling Leo to kiss his forehead once again. Instead of squirming away like he usually did, the boy took the kiss without complaint.

Finally breaking the trance, his son eagerly asked, "Do you want to see the cool plane Mommy got me for my birthday? It's got a remote control and everything. I can go get it." He attempted to pull out of his father's embrace to retrieve his gift.

Leo held him back and laughed. "No, it's alright, buddy. You can show me later. You can go back to your firefly-catching," he said running a hand through his hair.

After contemplating it for a few seconds, he agreed, "Okay. But will you come and play with us?"

"Sure, but let me talk to your mother first." Leo rose as he watched his son scamper of into the dark to meet his brother. He turned his head to the side and saw Piper sitting on the bench watching her children.

Walking toward the bench, he asked, "So, he's forgiven me?"

"Well, he's only six. When they're that young, they don't hold grudges," she answered without looking up.

Leo ran his hand over the back of the garden bench in the silence. Finally, in an attempt to break the tension, he asked, "Where is everyone?"

"Out," she responded simply. Leo sighed palpably at her monosyllabic answer.

Piper, feeling bad, turned her head to look at Leo. "There's some food left over for you on the grill."

Without moving, he said, his voice soft, "You saved some for me."

"Well, you said you were coming home today."

"I said a lot of things," Leo answered, barely audible. At this, he turned and headed toward the grill. Lifting up the top, he saw its contents and asked, "Wyatt's favorite…you still couldn't get through to him, could you?"

Piper shook her head and finally seemed to crack. "I don't know what to do, Leo. He's so distant."

Setting his plate down, Leo returned to the bench and sat down next to Piper, wrapping his arms around her.

"It's not your fault.... I should be around so much more," he sighed

"You have obligations."

"But family comes first," he immediately retorted. Then, looking into the yard, watching his boys play, Leo observed, "He seems to be having fun now."

"Yeah, he definitely adores the attention of his little brother. No doubt about that," Piper said, with a small smile.

"How's school?" Leo questioned, trying to get back into the boys' life.

"Chris is his usual shy self in school. I hope he gets over that…. But I don't know about Wyatt. I had a conference with his teacher a couple of days ago."

"Why? What happened?"

"Just a number of childhood tussles, but still—"

"I'm sure it's fine, Piper. He just needs someone else to be here, and I promise I'll do a better job of that," Leo reassured her as Piper closed her eyes against his chest.

"Hey, Daddy, look what Wyatt caught," Chris called out running toward the bench. Leo pulled him up as he struggled to climb onto it, and set him in his mother's lap. Wyatt followed, much more slowly, holding a jar containing several fireflies.

"Hey, slugger," Leo greeted his older son warmly.

"Dad," he acknowledged, his eyes still fixed on the jar.

"Look how they light up Wyatt's hands. Can I hold it?" Chris asked his brother, gesturing toward the jar.

Nodding, Wyatt handed it over.

As Chris looked, transfixed into the jar, Piper chimed in, "You know, guys, these fireflies won't be able to survive in here."

"Why not?" Chris asked, confusion clouding his eyes.

"It's not their home; they'll be without food and their family, and they might die," Piper gently informed him.

"Oh…" Disappointment fell over Chris, but he made his decision. "We should let them go, Wyatt," he stated.

"But they are so cool. I like them in the jar," Wyatt retorted.

"But Mommy says they'll die," Chris reasoned innocently with his brother.

"Yeah, and if you let them go, they'll can share their light with other people," Piper added.

"C'mon, Wyatt," Chris pleaded.

"Oh, alright," Wyatt answered, taking the jar from his brother's hands. He didn't want Chris to beg so he unscrewed the lid, allowing the fireflies to escape. Chris sighed, but contently, and reclined back against his mother, who wrapped her arms around him.

"Sit down, Wyatt," Piper said tenderly, making room between her and Leo. He did so and laid his head down on the back of the bench looking up at the now dark sky.

Suddenly he rose and reached his arms out towards a firefly, slapping it in between his hands. Turning toward his family, he opened his hands and showed the streak of bright yellow to his younger brother.

"Look at that, Chris," he said, delight in his eyes. "Isn't that cool?"

"You killed it!" Chris answered softly, shocked.

"But it's fun."

But it's fun...it's fun…fun.... The words of his brother echoed back to him. If only he had known.

"Fun" he repeated in disgust. He shook himself out of his daze as he saw orbs appear, but prevented himself from acknowledging him. Why couldn't he just leave him alone?

"Can we talk?" Leo asked.

"There's nothing to talk about," Chris replied curtly. Hadn't he said enough inside?

"There seems to be a lot to talk about," Leo prodded him, desperate for more info, desperate to find out why he could never be forgiven.

"It doesn't matter."

"It does to me! Like it or not, you are my son," Leo said. Yeah, that was true, and it never was going to change. Chris looked aside at this thought. "Please, I deserve to know. What did I do that was so bad?"

"You weren't there for me. You were there for everyone else—Mom, Wyatt, half the world it seems." Chris looked back at Leo and, pronouncing every syllable, laid out, "But you weren't there for me. You didn't have the time."

Leo, stopped, shocked, but then suggested, "Maybe...you didn't come back just to try to save your brother. Maybe you came back to try to save us, too."

No. It hurt too much, and he would only be hurt again. "I doubt it." And he orbed out once again, leaving his father alone.