Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, or any of his victims. Er, friends. Now, on
with the story! No, wait; I forgot the public service announcement.
WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING!!!
This story contains pure insanity. If anything not Harry Potter-ish
happens, then-
WHY THE HECK ARE YOU IN THE HUMOR SECTION!?!
This story takes itself seriously in the sense of spelling and grammar, but
for everything else, including making perfect sense, this story, sadly,
does not deliver. Now go give yourself a hug.
Thank you.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPP!
This has been a false public service announcement.
NO DUH!!!
It was a relatively normal day at Hogwarts. And by relatively, I mean as normal as it could get in the magic world. No crazy evil snakes slithering around in pipes, petrifying people, no magic sparks flying around, writing swearwords in thin air (It's hard to begin to imagine the physics at work there), and no twins flying off Hogwarts' grounds with chained broomsticks just returned to their owners with a deadly accurate summoning spell that had just about the same long shot of working as this run-on sentence has of being grammatically correct. Yes, it was a relatively normal day. Yes, siree, normal. Nothing strange. Nothing out of the ordinary. Normal. Straight up regular. Yep. Typical. A standard day at a standard magical school. Everything ran exactly according to plan. In fact, on this day, Hogwarts could be looked at as. REGULAR!!!
And then, Harry Potter woke up. _
"Ohh." mumbled Harry, rubbing his forehead. He propped himself upright in his bed. "I had that dream again."
For the past two weeks, Harry had been frequently dreaming that he would wake up one day, go to all his classes, come back into the common room, do his homework, and go to bed. In other words, have a NORMAL day. He really didn't know why, either. He wasn't some crazy fanatic who hated a bit of fun. He LIKED to have some excitement, as a matter of fact! But, as the saying goes, never eat the yellow snow. And as the saying that relates to Harry's problem goes, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing.
Harry fumbled around in the dark for his glasses. He felt their metal frame and heard their familiar clatter on his end table. Jamming them onto his face, he tore open his curtains, and stepped out of the four- poster bed onto the floor.
"Looks like no one's awake." Harry said to himself. All four of his dorm mates were snoring loudly, except for that Seamus kid. Harry didn't like him. No one did. [A NOTE TO ALL SEAMUS LOVERS: For all five of you out there, I am NOT saying that I hate Seamus. I just added that little tidbit for the sake of randomness.]
Harry attempted to cross the dormitory floor, but he tripped over a copy of Hogwarts, a History. "OW! Stupid book!" grumbled Harry. "How'd that even get in here?" Harry picked himself up, and strode towards a window. It was too dark in here, he needed some light. He threw open the curtains, and-
Darkness flowed into the room. Or, to be politically correct, nothing happened.
Harry felt the blood rise to his face. He was blushing. He slapped himself in the forehead. "How could I be so stupid?" he thought. "I forgot to look at the time! It's still night!"
Harry tried to go back to sleep, but for some inexplicable reason, he felt completely rested, as if he hadn't gone to bed at his usual time. He had a dull feeling that it had to do with the small pain in the back of his head, the finger marks on his neck, the empty vial labeled "SLEEPING POTION" laying on its side next to his bed, and the fact that he was still in his school clothes. But he shrugged it off, and decided to take a very illegal and stupid nighttime stroll outside of Gryffindor tower.
Harry pushed himself out of bed, and attempted to cross the floor towards the dormitory door. But he tripped over Hogwarts, a History, yet again. "Grr. STUPID BOOK!" shouted Harry. But he quickly covered his mouth, in an attempt not to wake anyone up.
Harry, very quietly now, tiptoed towards the door, slooooooooowly opened it, tiptoed through it, slooooooooowly closed it, tiptoed down the stairs, tiptoed across the common room, slooooooooowly made his way to the portrait of the Fat Lady, and tripped over Hermione's unusually misplaced copy of Hogwarts, a History.
He went through the portrait hole, fuming.
Yay! The first chapter's over! Now I beg of you. REVIEW! Come on. it's not like it'll cause you any pain. it's only one small click away. one tiny click. one little, minute, diminutive, miniature, petite, itty, bitty, teeny, weeny click away!
And if that last sentence persuaded you to review, tell me.
WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING!!!
This story contains pure insanity. If anything not Harry Potter-ish
happens, then-
WHY THE HECK ARE YOU IN THE HUMOR SECTION!?!
This story takes itself seriously in the sense of spelling and grammar, but
for everything else, including making perfect sense, this story, sadly,
does not deliver. Now go give yourself a hug.
Thank you.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPP!
This has been a false public service announcement.
NO DUH!!!
It was a relatively normal day at Hogwarts. And by relatively, I mean as normal as it could get in the magic world. No crazy evil snakes slithering around in pipes, petrifying people, no magic sparks flying around, writing swearwords in thin air (It's hard to begin to imagine the physics at work there), and no twins flying off Hogwarts' grounds with chained broomsticks just returned to their owners with a deadly accurate summoning spell that had just about the same long shot of working as this run-on sentence has of being grammatically correct. Yes, it was a relatively normal day. Yes, siree, normal. Nothing strange. Nothing out of the ordinary. Normal. Straight up regular. Yep. Typical. A standard day at a standard magical school. Everything ran exactly according to plan. In fact, on this day, Hogwarts could be looked at as. REGULAR!!!
And then, Harry Potter woke up. _
"Ohh." mumbled Harry, rubbing his forehead. He propped himself upright in his bed. "I had that dream again."
For the past two weeks, Harry had been frequently dreaming that he would wake up one day, go to all his classes, come back into the common room, do his homework, and go to bed. In other words, have a NORMAL day. He really didn't know why, either. He wasn't some crazy fanatic who hated a bit of fun. He LIKED to have some excitement, as a matter of fact! But, as the saying goes, never eat the yellow snow. And as the saying that relates to Harry's problem goes, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing.
Harry fumbled around in the dark for his glasses. He felt their metal frame and heard their familiar clatter on his end table. Jamming them onto his face, he tore open his curtains, and stepped out of the four- poster bed onto the floor.
"Looks like no one's awake." Harry said to himself. All four of his dorm mates were snoring loudly, except for that Seamus kid. Harry didn't like him. No one did. [A NOTE TO ALL SEAMUS LOVERS: For all five of you out there, I am NOT saying that I hate Seamus. I just added that little tidbit for the sake of randomness.]
Harry attempted to cross the dormitory floor, but he tripped over a copy of Hogwarts, a History. "OW! Stupid book!" grumbled Harry. "How'd that even get in here?" Harry picked himself up, and strode towards a window. It was too dark in here, he needed some light. He threw open the curtains, and-
Darkness flowed into the room. Or, to be politically correct, nothing happened.
Harry felt the blood rise to his face. He was blushing. He slapped himself in the forehead. "How could I be so stupid?" he thought. "I forgot to look at the time! It's still night!"
Harry tried to go back to sleep, but for some inexplicable reason, he felt completely rested, as if he hadn't gone to bed at his usual time. He had a dull feeling that it had to do with the small pain in the back of his head, the finger marks on his neck, the empty vial labeled "SLEEPING POTION" laying on its side next to his bed, and the fact that he was still in his school clothes. But he shrugged it off, and decided to take a very illegal and stupid nighttime stroll outside of Gryffindor tower.
Harry pushed himself out of bed, and attempted to cross the floor towards the dormitory door. But he tripped over Hogwarts, a History, yet again. "Grr. STUPID BOOK!" shouted Harry. But he quickly covered his mouth, in an attempt not to wake anyone up.
Harry, very quietly now, tiptoed towards the door, slooooooooowly opened it, tiptoed through it, slooooooooowly closed it, tiptoed down the stairs, tiptoed across the common room, slooooooooowly made his way to the portrait of the Fat Lady, and tripped over Hermione's unusually misplaced copy of Hogwarts, a History.
He went through the portrait hole, fuming.
Yay! The first chapter's over! Now I beg of you. REVIEW! Come on. it's not like it'll cause you any pain. it's only one small click away. one tiny click. one little, minute, diminutive, miniature, petite, itty, bitty, teeny, weeny click away!
And if that last sentence persuaded you to review, tell me.